Chapter 35
Jennie
A few weeks ago, before Lisa's and my … falling out, she asked me about going to a second charity dinner. I said yes. That dinner was last night and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I was silently staring at my phone all day yesterday, hoping that Lisa was going to call and tell me she was on her way to come and get me. Unfortunately, my phone was silent all day.
Today, I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to lie there and sulk and feel bad for myself even though I knew I'd caused my own pain. Every single day over the last three weeks I had at least one moment, or twenty, where I wanted to pick up the phone and tell her I was stupid and I was sorry and to please forgive me, but I never did. Pride is an evil bitch.
My phone rang on my nightstand.
"Hey, how are you today?" Jisoo asked after I answered it.
"I'm fine. Feeling sorry for myself, but fine." I yawned.
"Did you sleep at all last night?"
"Yeah, that's all I did, actually. I went to bed early so I couldn't think about it."
"Have you been up today yet?" she asked slowly, cautiously.
"No, I'm still in bed. Why?"
"Just curious."
"Liar. What?"
"Nothing, really. Call me after you're up and moving."
"Jisoo … I listened to you lie to your parents daily growing up. Don't pull that 'nothing' shit with me."
She was quiet for a minute before she let out a heavy sigh. "She went."
"She went where?"
"To the dinner."
I laughed. "I knew she would, Jisoo, it was for one of the charities she sponsors."
"She … didn't go alone."
"Oh."
A bomb went off inside my stomach, the tremors reaching all the way out to my fingertips. The thought of her taking another woman to the dinner I was supposed to go to, walking the red carpet with her, holding her hand … made me ill. I got off the phone with Jisoo and grabbed my laptop, trying to talk myself out of looking the whole time I typed 'LISA MANOBAN' into the search bar.
The most recent link was from late last night. Because I'm a glutton for punishment, I clicked on it.
My heart sank.
Lisa looked delicious all the time whether she was in workout clothes, blue striped pajama pants, or in a black tuxedo like in this picture. Her hair was shorter, making her smile look bigger, more defined. She grinned at the cameras and I could tell from this picture that she was "on." She was in superstar mode.
A gorgeous redhead was beside her, beaming like she'd just won the lottery. She was with Lisa, so I suppose she had. She wore a long, hunter green dress and had boobs to die for. Her lips were painted fire engine red to match her nails. Her fingers were intertwined with hers and they both flirted with the cameras like a couple of models. She certainly rocked that red carpet way better than I did. She was beautiful, and I hated her.
I didn't want to see any more of them together, but what did I do? I clicked on the next picture, and that's when my heart stopped beating.
Her head was thrown back slightly, laughing at whatever Lisa was whispering in her ear. Lisa's arm was around her waist, pulling her in close. They definitely knew each other, they were comfortable together. Very comfortable. I couldn't take anymore, I shut the laptop and stomped out of my room.
"Good Morning." Mom smiled as I entered the kitchen.
"Hi."
She stared at me, her eyes wide. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. Are we out of oatmeal?"
"I think so, I'll get some on my next trip into town."
I slammed the cabinet loudly, not saying a word.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Where are the girls?"
"They went out back to play while Fred mows the yard."
The sentence wasn't even out of her mouth yet when the girls came running into the house. "Mom, can we go swimming?"
"Sure." I sighed, "Let's get dressed and put sunscreen on."
I really just wanted to crawl back in bed, but it wasn't fair of me to deprive the girls of a good day because of my bad mood.
We marched down to the lake, the girls complaining the whole way that they had to wear their floaties.
"I'm sorry, but I don't feel like swimming right now. I'm going to sit on the shore and read so you have to wear your floaties."
They looked disappointed, but I was the mom and got the final call on that one, though I suppose I could have said it nicer.
As I parked my rear on an old tree that had fallen over years ago, the girls set out for the water, leaving me alone with my thoughts. My emotions were out of control today, going one hundred different directions. I was jealous, for obvious reasons. I was angry, mostly at myself for lying to Lisa about how I felt. I was upset that I had been stupid enough to torture myself and look at those pictures even though I knew it was going to hurt me. A small part of me was angry at Lisa for taking that girl to the event—she could have fought harder for me. When was someone going to fight for me? Why was it so easy for people to let me go?
Bringing my book out here was completely pointless; I couldn't take my eyes off of Ruby and Jane when they were in the water. Plus there were a group of idiots out on the water this morning, driving their WaveRunners around like lunatics. Twice now they had come in too close for my liking. On the third trip around the lake, I stood up and screamed at them at the top of my lungs.
"Don't come in this far again, you jerk, there are kids playing!"
The guy looked back at me, waved and took off.
"What was that about?" Mom asked, walking up behind me.
"Those guys are driving around like they own the place!" I glared at her.
"Okay, calm down." She held her hands up defensively. "I agree with you yelling at them, but you're yelling about everything this morning."
She walked over and sat down on the stump next to me.
"Sorry," I snapped, not very apologetically. "I'm just … in a mood."
"I can see that, care to talk about it?"
"No."
"Would you rather talk to Lisa about it?"
"What?" I swung around to face her. "Why would you ask me that?"
"She's here."
"She's here?"
"Yep, just walked in. Want me to watch the girls for you while you talk to her?"
I didn't even verbalize an answer, I just grunted and stalked up the hill toward the house. I got to the back door and paused, taking a deep breath before I went in. She was sitting at the kitchen island with her chin resting on her hands, looking straight ahead, smiling … at her.
She was here.
The redhead.
From last night.
In my house.
"Hey!" she said cheerfully when I walked in.
"Hi," I replied flatly, trying to get my blood pressure under control so I didn't kill her with my own bare hands.
She stood up and beamed at me as I walked into the kitchen, holding her hand out. "You must be Jennie. I've heard so much about you. Nice to meet you."
"Jennie, I'm glad you're here. I really wanted you to meet Shae."
"Hi Shae." I reached out and half-heartedly shook her hand.
"I'm sorry to run off so fast, but Lisa, I have to use the restroom bad. Where is it?"
She pointed up the guest stairs. "Up there, third door on the right, across from our room."
A lump formed in my throat the size of Texas, as rage, not oxygen fueled my bloodstream. She scurried up the stairs, barely out of earshot before I turned and lost it on Lisa.
"Your room? You're staying here? Both of you?" I spat with my fists clenched at my sides.
"Yep." She smiled at me, looking me up and down. "You look great."
Completely ignoring her compliment, I continued, "What the hell are you thinking?"
"What?" She sounded clueless.
"This. Her. Here." I couldn't even form a sentence anymore. The logical part of my brain was dead, filled instead with seething anger.
"Shae is great, really sweet. I wanted you to meet her, I think you'll get along."
I swear I heard my heart shatter like glass as sadness replaced the seething anger. "How could you bring her here? Why would I want to meet her? My replacement. Why are you throwing this in my face?"
"I'm not throwing anything in your face. You made your decision. You said you didn't love me," she accused.
Tears burned my eyes. Angry tears, hurt tears, devastated tears. No way were they ever spilling out though, I pinched my arm hard to distract myself from the emotional pain and make them go away.
"Yes, I said it, but that…" I waved my hand toward the stairs she's just run up. "That is just cruel. To bring her here, to make me stare at the two of you all weekend. Why? To torment me, teach me a lesson?"
She stood up from the island and walked over in front of me, staring straight past my eyes and into my soul.
"Do you love me?" she asked.
"What? Why now? Why would you ask me that now?"
The bathroom door opened upstairs and I startled, taking an automatic step away from Lisa. Shae skipped down the stairs and looked out the back door, her bright red hair flowing down her back. "This property is beautiful. I'm gonna step out on the deck and look at the lake. You coming?" she asked, turning toward Lisa.
She grinned at her, driving the knife further into my heart in the process. "I'll come out in a minute."
"Okay. It was nice to meet you, Jennie. I'm sure we'll talk later." She smiled sweetly at me as she opened the door. "Oh, and you were right, Lisa, Mom and Dad would love this place. We need to bring them here."
My eyes were glued to where Shae was standing, my brain trying to process if I'd just heard her correctly.
I whipped my head back to Lisa who had backed up and was sitting on a stool, facing me with a shit-eating grin on her face.
"Mom and Dad? As in, you two have the same mom and dad?" I asked, feeling like a complete idiot.
"That would be correct. That's my baby sister, Shae Manoban."
"Were you testing me?"
"That would also be correct." She could barely contain her happiness at my complete meltdown at the thought of her with another woman.
"Why?"
"I had to see your reaction. Someone who doesn't love someone doesn't get that mad when that someone is with someone else."
"Oh my God… I'm going to kill you. I feel so stupid, and your sister probably thinks I'm a total bitch." I put my hands over my eyes, wanting to die of pure embarrassment.
She tilted her head back and forth and looked up at the ceiling, thinking about it. "Probably, but lucky for you, she grew up with me. She's learned to forgive."
She reached out and grabbed my hips, pulling them close to her. I didn't fight. I missed her, everything about her. Her smell, her smile, her expressive eyes, the way she made my problems melt away with one hug. I'd never missed a person the way I'd missed Lisa the last few weeks.
"So, I'm gonna ask you again … do you love me?"
Before I could answer yes, the back door flew open and Shae stood in the doorway, trembling and white as a ghost.
"Call 911, a little girl in the lake just got hit by a guy on a WaveRunner!"