Chapter 39
Jennie
"I can't believe they're six." I pouted as I plopped myself down at the kitchen table.
Mom handed me a cup of coffee. "I know, where did the time go?"
"Seriously. It feels like I just had them."
"I feel that same way about you." She smiled sadly as she sat across from me. "Now look at you. You went and grew up and had kids of your own when I wasn't looking."
"You know, none of this would have been possible without you."
"Of course it would have, Jennie. You're a strong girl, way stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"I don't know about all that, Mom."
"Well, I do and Mother knows best, so hush."
I grinned at her as I sipped my coffee.
"It's been one hell of a week, huh?"
"That, my dear, is an understatement." Mom stared outside and her mind went somewhere else. It had been almost a week since that bastard plowed over my baby in the lake, and while Jane was mending, she wasn't completely back to normal yet. Her bruises had faded to a dark yellow and she wasn't having headaches anymore, but her nightmares were off the charts. Every night since we'd been home from the hospital, she woke up with an ear-piercing, blood-curdling scream that almost made me jump right out of my skin. The only thing that made her feel better was sleeping with me and that made Ruby feel bad, so she'd been sleeping with me too. Needless to say, I was beyond exhausted.
Mom had suggested pushing their party back a couple weeks, but that wasn't an option. School was starting in a couple weeks, for all three of us, and it had been such a bad week, I wanted them to have something good to look forward to this weekend. However, I threw it together so quickly, hopefully I hadn't forgotten anything.
"Okay, so today … the food has been ordered and should be here by noon. Jisoo is bringing the flowers and balloons later, you took care of the cake … was there anything else?" I asked.
"Nope, I think you got it all. What time is everyone coming?"
"Two o'clock."
"Good. You should go nap, Jennie." She pushed back from the table and took our mugs to the kitchen sink. "You haven't been sleeping well and today might be a long day."
"You don't have to tell me twice." I yawned just thinking about how tired I was.
I left the girls snuggled up on the couch watching Snow White under Mom's watchful eye as I tiptoed down the hall to my room for a quick snooze.
My body was completely relaxed in that last stage right before you actually fall asleep, where you're still aware of your surroundings, but your arms and legs feel heavy and out of control. My mind was starting to drift, when I heard my bedroom door open and then close again.
I didn't even open my eyes. "Girls, go back out with Gigi, Mommy needs a nap."
"They're watching Snow White, but you look more like Sleeping Beauty."
My eyes snapped open, and I sat up straight at the sound of Lisa's voice. She was leaning against my bedroom door with her hands shoved in her jeans pockets, her signature hat on backwards and the killer smile cemented on her face.
"What are you doing here?" I scrambled to stand.
"Relax, sit down." She pulled the desk chair next to my bed. "I came to drop off the girls' birthday presents."
"Oh, thanks."
My heart soared at the sight of her and I wondered if that would ever go away. How much time needed to pass before I could be in a room with her and stop worrying that my chest was going to explode?
Leaning forward in the chair, she rested her elbows on her knees as a crooked smile rolled across her face.
"I love you, Jennie."
My heart sputtered to a complete stop as her soulful eyes searched my face.
"I've loved you since that night out on the pier when we looked up at the stars, then I fell in love with you again the next day when you peeked at the sunset from the top of the Ferris wheel, then I fell in love with you again when I saw you in that blue dress, then I fell in love with you again on my kitchen counter, then I fell in love with you again at the cake tasting, then I fell in love with you again at Rosé's wedding, then I fell in love with you again in that hospital room when you stared at your daughter lying unconscious in that bed…"
I swallowed, unable to speak.
"I fall in love with you every single time I watch you interact with Ruby and Jane. The love you feel for them is so vast and overwhelming, it absolutely amazes me. I sometimes wonder if there's room in your heart for me too, but then we're alone … and it's there. Whatever it is, it hangs in the air between us, so fucking thick I can hardly breathe."
Tears ran down my cheeks, it was almost physically painful to listen to her. "Lisa, please…" I pleaded, not wanting to hear any more.
"You're not a summer fling."
My breath caught in my throat as my mouth fell open. How did she know about that?
"I know what Blaire said to you in that bathroom and she couldn't have been more wrong. You're not a summer fling, a winter fling, or any other fling," she continued. "You're my choice, Jennie. I know where the door is and I know how to walk through it if I want, but I don't want to. I want to be here with you, with the girls. Every. Single. Day."
I nervously thumbed the cuff of my sweatshirt under the scrutiny of her intense gaze.
"I also know that Kendall was in that bathroom, and I can't even imagine how excruciating that must have been for you. I told them both to go to hell and I fired Bambam."
"You did?" I whispered in a shaky voice.
"Jennie, you can't listen to anything Blaire says. She only cares about how I perform on the ice—that's why she wants you out of the way. She thinks you're a distraction."
My brain was moving so fast; I couldn't keep up. I lowered my head to my hands, struggling to process the mountain she was laying at my feet.
"I agree with her about that, you are a distraction," she said quietly.
I snapped my head up and locked eyes with her.
"The best damn distraction I've ever had in my life. You and the twinkies." She scooted over to my bed and cupped either side of my face with her warm hands. "Before you guys, I didn't know life outside of the rink existed. You've made me realize I want more. I want everything, and I want it with you."
"I'm afraid, Lisa."
"I know you are. It's a big leap, but I promise it's worth it."
Still holding my face, she leaned forward and softly pressed her lips against mine. There was no hidden intent with that kiss; it was just that, a kiss. Neither of us was in a hurry to break it.
I wanted this; I wanted her, and I needed to tell her. She just laid it all out for me. She needed to know how I felt too.
I pulled back but didn't let go of her hands. "Lisa, I'm scarred. Kai did so much damage to my heart, sometimes I feel like he ruined it for anyone else. He mutilated it and even though I put it back together, it'll always be a little tainted."
"I know, but that's the thing about scars, Jennie, over time they fade and get smaller. It's time for yours to disappear."
The thought of Lisa being mine forever forced a small smile to tug at my lips.
"Talk to me … what are you thinking?" She rubbed the back of my hand with her thumbs.
I took a deep breath. "I'm thinking that I love you, Lisa Manoban. I love you a lot."
A grin slid across her face as she pressed her forehead against mine.
"I've loved you since you first called my girls twinkies, then I fell in love with you again when you made me jump in puddles with you, then I fell in love with you again when you went fishing with Fred, then I fell in love with you again when you bought twenty kinds of shampoo, then I fell in love with you again in your bed, then I fell in love with you again when you let the girls paint your nails, then I fell in love with you again with a pair of hospital slippers in my hands." I sniffed and looked into her eyes.
She opened her mouth to respond, but I put my finger on her lips, stopping her.
"My heart knew I loved you before my brain did."
That was all she needed to hear. She leapt forward and crashed into me with so much force, she knocked me backwards on my bed. The weight of her body was heavy on top of me, but there was nowhere else on this planet I'd rather be.
She pulled back just enough to look me in the eye. "I love you, Jennie. I love you so damn hard."
"I love you too, Lisa. Completely."
We lay on my bed, lost in each other and completely oblivious to the world happening outside of my room. We kissed and hugged each other so tight; afraid of what would happen when we let go.
"We should probably go out there and see what's going on with everyone." I finally sighed.
"Screw that, we have a couple weeks worth of kissing to make up for."
The laugh that escaped me almost drowned out the sound of the soft knock on my bedroom door.
Lisa and I sat up, "Come in," I called out, rubbing my tingling lips.
Ruby and Jane came barreling through the door with the biggest smiles I'd ever seen on their faces.
"Mom, come see our cake!" Ruby squealed.
"Oh, it's here? I didn't know Gigi went to get it," I said, as Jane grabbed my arm and pulled me off my bed. Ruby took a hold of Lisa's hand and they led us out to the kitchen.
My eyes almost fell out of my head when I saw the cake sitting perfectly in the middle of the island. It was the princess cake that Lisa and I saw in the book at The Great Cakery.
"What the … how did Mom…" I was thoroughly confused.
"I asked your mom to let me handle the cake," Lisa said from behind me.
I spun around to face her. "You did this?"
She grinned and nodded, wiggling her eyebrows at me. "Cool, huh? I just hope my twinkies like Oreo cake because I couldn't resist."
I smiled as Ruby and Jane ran over and wrapped their arms around her.
"This is so awesome, Lisa. Thank you." I looked at her with sheer adoration as I walked over to the pantry to make sure we had candles for later, something I'd completely forgot to check before.
I pulled the pantry door open and gasped when I caught my mom and Fred groping each other like a couple of teenagers against the cereal shelf. The girls started to run toward the pantry to see what I was staring at when I slammed the door.
"What was it?" Jane asked with Ruby and Lisa standing behind her, just as confused.
"Uh … a really big spider," I stuttered as my mom walked out of the pantry, smiling like nothing ever happened.
"Gigi, did you kill the spider?" Ruby asked.
"Yes, I got him." She smiled.
"I bet you did." I stared at her incredulously before I turned back to Lisa. "Can you take them in the family room for a minute while I clean up after that spider?"
Lisa frowned, clearly still confused as she led the girls over to the couch and out of ear shot.
I whipped around to Mom, who was grinning at me like a proud teenager. "What's going on?"
"What do you mean what's going on? It was pretty obvious, no?" She beamed and walked over to the pantry door and opened it, letting Fred out.
"How long?" I looked back and forth between them.
"Well, you've been a little preoccupied lately," she waved her hand toward the couch where Lisa was sitting, "and I've been with the girls a lot. Fred was helping me out and … you know, it just happened." Her gaze met his and they smiled sweetly at each other.
"Oh my God … I need a vacation," I mumbled into my hands in a delirious giggle.
"It's kinda fun though, right?" she asked.
I pulled my hands away from my face and stared blankly at her.
"Think about it, we can double date." She winked at me as Fred put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her cheek.
"I can't. This is too much." I chuckled as I walked across the kitchen. "I need to hop in the shower, I'll be right back, okay?"
I headed toward our apartment as I looked over at Lisa, who was sitting on the couch with the girls watching Snow White. She had one arm tucked behind each of their heads as they all focused intently on the TV. I slowed my pace to stare at them for a minute. The sight of my three loves, snuggled up on the couch together made my heart warm.
Since my breakup with Kai, I had tried hard to make our life about structure and simplicity. Lisa was the opposite of that. She was carefree and unpredictable; no day with her was the same. Hell, no hour with her was ever the same. She crashed into my life and shook it up like a snowglobe.
I had no idea my life needed her so bad.
Several hours later, Ruby and Jane's friends had left and the family room carpet was sprinkled with enough confetti and glitter to fill a dumpster. The girls were happily showing Lisa and Derek their new toys while Jisoo and I cleaned up the kitchen. I had no idea where my mom and Fred were, nor did I think I wanted to know.
"Have you heard from Rosé?" I asked.
"Yeah, they're all settled in their apartment and loving Florence. She said she's gonna call you tonight to wish the girls Happy Birthday."
I thought about my friend and her new husband, living in some adorable, cozy apartment in Italy. "I'm so happy for them." I sighed blissfully.
"Agreed." She peeked at me while she loaded the dishwasher. "I'm happy for you too."
"Me? Why?"
"Well, actually, I'm happy for me."
I stared at her, completely confused.
"You know me—I'm not a super romantic person," she said.
I laughed. "I know. I always thought that was strange, considering you own a flower shop."
"Yeah, yeah … whatever. I'm not a romantic person, but boy, do I love to be right."
"What are you talking about?" I finally cut myself a small piece of the castle cake.
"Here, I scooped this out of the garbage a long time ago." She walked over and handed me a small piece of paper that was crinkled and worn. "Once again, I believe that belongs to you."
My mouth fell open when I looked down at the white strip of paper in my hand.
IF YOU NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE, IT WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU.
Oh my God, the fortune cookie from the Chinese food that night at her shop.
"I can't believe you saved this." I looked up at her in amazement.
She grinned at me. "I knew then what you've finally been brave enough to admit now. I could see it in your eyes, hear it in the way you talked about her." She hip bumped me as she walked by. "Like I said, I love to be right."
I curled my hand around that fortune, vowing to cherish it forever.
After Jisoo rubbed it in my face a dozen more times about how right she was, she tore Derek away from the girls' toys and left.
Lisa walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I'd say the party was a success, the twinkies seem pretty happy."
"Absolutely. Look at their little faces." I rested my head against her chest and watched the girls grinning and chattering about their new haul.
"After they go to bed, remind me to hide that big purple case," she sighed.
"Why?"
"It's full of nail polish and makeup—they already asked if they could try it on me later."
Tossing my head back, I laughed heartily. "You started that."
"Started what?" Mom asked, walking into the kitchen with Fred trailing right behind her.
"Well, look what we have here," Lisa teased. "The two lovebirds."
Mom blushed as Fred wrapped his arm around her.
"I'm happy for you two, I really am. I didn't mean to sound weird before, I was just taken aback," I said to my mom.
"I know that, honey. It's okay," she walked over, pulling me in for a hug. "I should've told you. That wasn't exactly a good way to find out."
"It was a little shocking." I squeezed her back.
"So, Fred … what are you doing in the morning?" Lisa asked.
Fred looked at her blankly. "Nothing, why?"
Lisa clapped him on the shoulders. "I was just thinking that maybe we should go fishing. There are some things I'd like to talk to you about now that you're dating Sophia."
Fred laughed and shook Lisa's hand. "I'll fish with you anytime, Lisa."
Standing in the kitchen with my arm around my mom, I watched Lisa and Fred devour a chunk of cake while listening to the girls giggling behind me. Overcome with a sense of happiness, I reached in my back pocket and fingered the fortune from Jisoo.
Thank God for rainstorms … and puddles.