A/N For the benefit of those who don't know, there's a Facebook group for Chuck Fanfiction, and we'd love to have some new members.

Some of the things I thought would continue didn't, some of the things I thought would end didn't. That's story-telling for you. It never goes where I expect it to.

"The world is full of surprises."

"Hopeless."

"He's the key to her."

"You got it."

"God I wish you were here," said Morgan, on the phone with Alex for the first time in their joint training schedules.

"So do I," she said, "But why do I get the feeling that your wish is a little different from my wish?"

Morgan rubbed his eyes. "Because you don't have Corporal Swan in your command structure and I do. She's never too blatant but she never stops either. It's attractive and annoying at the same time."

"I'm kissing you."

Morgan smiled, just like he imagined she was smiling. "I'm kissing you back."

"So what are you doing about it?"

She'd been all gung-ho about taking action even before they'd put her in commando school. "I'm doing exercises in my head from Dr. Fred's book, the ones I can remember. Everything that's true about you is false for her."

"Who's book?"

Right. She wasn't there for that part. "If I could remember his last name I wouldn't be calling him Dr. Fred," said Morgan. "We did a book signing at the Buy More right before I left, it was called 101 Questions Before I Do."

Her voice got very small over the phone. "I do? As in, 'I Do'?"

Time for a strategic retreat, especially seeing as how he hadn't meant to make the advance in the first place. "As in, 'I could', or 'I might'," said Morgan. "Hopefully not 'I won't'."

"Let me finish school first," said Alex. "Morgan, the day you held up that ring, even though it was an accident and I knew it wasn't for me, I knew what I wanted to say if you ever did get a ring of your own.'

"You did?"

"I did and I do," said Alex. "And so do you, or you wouldn't be telling me about Swan. Bonus points for you. Fortunately, at the rate we're getting in these phone calls it'll take us a while to get through 101 questions."

"It'll take longer than that. I left it in my desk drawer at work, didn't want Casey to find it." He could get Chuck to mail it to him, no problem.

"What are you so worried about him for? It's not like he's my father or anything."

Morgan could practically smell the burning bridges, and they weren't even his bridges. Not fair. "Maybe not, but he puts the loco in loco parentis. He likes you and wants the best for you, and Casey has trouble using 'best' and me in the same sentence, you know? He's a violent man, with a lot of guns, and I don't really want to find out how he deals with that sort of cognitive dissonance."

Alex laughed. "You and your strategy. This is tactics, silly. If he wants me to be happy, tell him you make me happy. Better yet, I'll tell him. How many girls can say their boyfriends literally make them feel alive?"

Morgan didn't remember seeing a chapter in Dr. Fred's book on that, either, but that book was also all about strategy, wasn't it? "We have had more than our share of assassins..."

"So don't worry about him, and don't you even think about Swan. You think about that ring."

She's so practical. "Think about the ring." Wait a minute, wasn't it supposed to be the other way around?

"That's right, the ring."

The One Ring. Except for the whole 'Dark Lord' thing. "I'm kissing you so hard right now." My preciousss...

"I'm kissing you back..."

Back in Riverside...

Casey left the silk from his chute in his room and hurried out to protect his cover, by mixing with the other greenshirts. At least there was an open bar. He stopped off and got a few before taking the plunge. "Hey, Casey, where ya been?" said Fat Clown as he joined them by the pool. "We're telling our favorite Buy More stories. Bob told the scurvy one again. You got anything new?"

Buy More war stories? Casey smiled, before he looked dubiously at the pool water all those Buy More feet were dangling in, and pulled up a chair. "You want them by ranked by intensity or by person?" he asked. "Tell you what, let's just start with the last month and go from there."

Just that last line got a laugh, and a larger audience. Casey lit his cigar (a Costa Gravan Angel, from the Premier's own hand) and prepared to enjoy the evening.

In Costa Gravas...

"God, I'm tired," said Chuck, leaning back against the concrete.

"You're tired?" asked Sarah, pulling up a chunk of wall next to him. "I had to spend the entire day with Hortencia."

"Could have been worse," said Chuck. "Could have been with her husband."

"It was with her husband." She wiped her hands on her pants. "Looks like I'm their new favorite marriage counselor."

Chuck wondered if that Fred guy would consider putting a stop in Costa Gravas on his book tour. "Did Goya give you a cigar?" Maybe he could do a book about how to handle things after the I Do. It's not like getting married was the end.

"Do I smoke? Good thing Casey left, he would have killed both of them in self-defense."

Chuck closed his eyes, and gusted out a laugh. "Ladyfeelings at thirty paces."

"Not to mention a lot of socialist stargazing." She looked over at him. "They're having a post-revolution party, you want to go?"

"Is this you being funny again?" asked Chuck. "I just got these consoles disassembled. When our guys get here, who do you think gets to go with them into the jungle to disarm those nukes?"

Please take me with you. "So we're almost done."

"Yes, almost done." Chuck opened one eye a little to look at her. "Did you remember to ask him about Volkoff?"

"I did," said Sarah. "He promised to send me all his files, on something called Project Beacon."

They were alone in the bunker, so Chuck felt free to flash, but there was nothing to flash on. "Have we heard that name before?"

"You're asking me?" said Sarah. "I got the impression he was just as glad to do it, that agent he mentioned must have really spooked him."

Chuck grinned at her. "Hey, you really are funny."

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't planning that, you goof."

"The best never do," said Chuck.

"Anyway, I figure between the party, the hangover, and the lengthy reconciliation with his wife without an American agent under foot, we have plenty of time to get home before we'll have that material to look over."

"Good," said Chuck. "There isn't a lot on Volkoff in the you-know-what and nothing on this agent of his. I'm sure General Beckman will be glad for anything we can dig up."

"Leave the digging for tomorrow," said Sarah, pushing off from the wall. "Come on. We've got a palace suite and all night to use it in."

"Sounds good." Chuck groaned getting up. "How about a massage tonight and an early morning?"

"Who gets the massage?"

"Me."

"Oo, yummy," said Sarah, cracking her knuckles. "Deal."

A day or so later, at Verbanski Corp...

"I don't understand, ma'am," said Corporal Swan. The guy was a goofball, he should be crawling after her by now.

"I do," said Gertrude. She opened a drawer and pulled out a package, opened by her mail room personnel as a matter of course. "This arrived for Grimes this morning."

Swan took the package and pulled out the contents. "A hundred and one questions?"

"Look at page eight," said Gertrude, and she waited until Swan had done so. "Sound familiar?"

"God-dammit," said Swan, slapping the book on the boss' desk. "He's been playing me the whole time?"

"It looks that way," said Gertrude, putting the book away. It was, after all, Grimes' property and should not have had even this slight detour. "He did a pretty good job, too, if you didn't even recognize it. I'll have to get a copy of this book for our own training program."

"Let me use that," said Swan, reaching out a hand. "Now that I know what he's doing-"

"You've been made, Swan," said Gertrude. She slammed the drawer. "The assignment's over."

"But ma'am," said Swan, "I have a reputation..."

"So did I, once," said Gertrude. "So does Grimes, at the moment. They don't last. Yours went on a bit longer than most but welcome to the real world. Don't worry about it. I have no problem with my people falling down, as long as they get back up again."

Swan nodded sharply, once. She'd get back up again, all right, and she knew just whose body she would use to do it. "Ma'am."

Lester was seething. His beloved Buy More was just humming along, like a well-oiled machine. He was no mere cog for a machine, he was a free wheel. He sang, he didn't hum, but even Jeff's playing had become more...pedestrian lately. Ironic that he was so inspiring everywhere else.

Speak of the devil. "Good morning, Lester," said the ass-man. "How are you today?"

"Fine, fine," said Lester in a bored monotone.

"Come on, don't be a Grumpy Gus," said Jeff cheerfully, taking a seat behind the Nerd Herd desk. "It's just a job." He looked over automatically as the doors opened. "Hey, Doc. How was the babymoon?"

"Hey, Jeffster," said Devon loudly.

"That's right, rub it in," muttered Lester.

"We had a great time, thank you for asking," continued Devon. "Got back in last night, and I thought I'd see how you were doing. Looks like my advice worked." Lester stopped pretending to work and started pretending to not eavesdrop. He was good at that.

"You bet, Doc," said Jeff. "I stopped sleeping in Loretta, and I'm a new man."

"A new ass-man, I see," chuckled Devon. "Good job."

"I'm trying," said Jeff. "Morgan left some awfully big shoes to fill."

"And he's such a little guy," said Devon. To him, most men were little guys.

"Come on," said Jeff. "Let's get you set up." He and Devon walked away.

Lester watched them go, his gaze immediately caught by a pair of breasts, as some hottie walked out of Lawn and Garden with a greenshirt in tow, carrying a coil of garden hose. He watched the display for a moment, then turned away, sighing-no best friend, no boob-cam-as only the truly artistic can sigh.

On a secure conference call...

"Success, gentlemen," said C. "The revolution in Costa Gravas was foiled."

"Explain the nature of this success," snapped E, for whom nothing was a success without a high body count.

"Gladly," said C, who loved to preen as much as anyone, and more than most. "Turrini was an expendable fool. His failed attempt at a coup brought Goya's possession of the missing nukes to light. We lost Turrini, but getting those nukes away from Goya was more important, and it also served to turn Bartowski's focus toward Volkoff."

"Admirable," said B. "But only if you have plans for Bartowski after he's ceased to be of use."

"I do. He'll never see us coming. After all, we're the good guys," said Clyde Decker.

Back home at Echo Park...

"Hey, sis," said Chuck, finding his sister at an idle moment by the fountain. "You're looking better. Babymoons agree with you." He sat next to her.

"Not to mention the utter lack of revolutionary activity of any kind," said Ellie with a smile, but that faded fast. "I heard you went back?"

"Had to," said Chuck. "Goya had one of the keys for his nukes. I still don't know why they didn't just kill him and take it, but Turrini wasn't playing the game like a proper revolutionary would. He had his eye on Hortencia. Turned out that whole thing was basically a lovers' quarrel with guns, and he'd been inciting the whole thing. Sarah handled it without lifting a finger. Well, actually she lifted ten fingers." He held up his hands in surrender.

Ellie smiled. "I don't know which life she's better suited for, the one she has or the one she wants."

"She's just all-around fabulous," said Chuck. He looked up as Sarah left their apartment. "Hey, sweetie. We were just talking about you."

"Nothing good, I hope," said Sarah, coming over.

Ellie threw her brother under the bus. "Hey, he said 'fabulous', I didn't." Chuck appeared shocked at the betrayal.

"Well, that's all right then." Sarah reached out a hand.

Chuck touched his fingers to hers. "What's so important it has to interrupt a brother-sister post-crisis bonding moment?"

"Those files we were expecting finally came in," said Sarah, handing him a secure tablet. Ellie was cleared, and the fountain made too much ambient noise for anyone to hear them anyway.

Chuck scanned the icons. "Documents, documents, schematics, documents...Pictures?"

"Hortencia sent those," said Sarah. She explained to Ellie. "Turrini managed to get the only shots we know of, of Volkoff's top agent."

"And he wasted them on a coup?" said Chuck, tapping one of the images. It blew up in his face.

"Mom?"

A/N2 Not quite where this episode ended in canon. I'm not sure what, if anything, I should do with Lester's gassing of the Buy More, it seems kind of pointless to me. If you have any ideas, let me know, but this may be the end of the Buy More for this story. Let me know what you think of it.