You can skip the following drivel and go straight into the chapter if you want, it's just a bunch of lame excuses and ranting...
I know I haven't updated anything in a while, and I have absolutely no excuse but laziness. I will claim writers' block for TIF however; I am honestly stuck with that one but I'll try to get an update for it out soon. I haven't been motivated at all lately, but I'm trying my best. I already have chapter three for this in the works, so hopefully I can get another update out a lot quicker.
Thank you to everyone who still wants to read my work despite the long breaks, seeing your reviews absolutely makes my day. To anyone who likes any of my stories, I'm so sorry and I will try better this year. I want you to know that I'm not giving up on writing on here any time soon either. I'll probably have some new stories out soon, since it's easier for me to have several projects going at once so I can get updates out. Helps with the writers' block to just leave a story for a while, take a step back and breathe. I am also thinking about redoing TIF so that I'll no longer be stuck with where to go with that one, but it's not definite yet.
Sorry for the long and boring rant, enjoy the chapter.
Chapter Two
Miss Rouge stepped away from the desk to leave the room. She sent Maurice an encouraging smile before opening the door and disappearing.
"Would you like to stand up and introduce yourself when class starts, or would you prefer if I do it while you stay seated?" Mr Shadow asked, bringing him out of his reverie.
"Could you do it…?" He mumbled, refusing to make eye contact.
"Of course." He replied, "You may pick where you sit."
Mr Shadow turned to his computer to type something, so Maurice got up and thought quickly about where to sit. At the back would be advantageous, because he would be the furthest away from everyone who entered the room. But, then he'd be surrounded later. He didn't like being surrounded. At the front, he was closer to the teacher, but closer to the stream of people who would soon be flooding the classroom… By the window, at the front, would box him in slightly, but not completely, and he'd have eyes on the outside. Plus, He would be closer to the teacher, if he needed help, and also fairly close to the door. Window seat at the front it is.
He moved the chair back to its original spot and took a seat by the window. As he sat down, he looked up at Mr Shadow and briefly thought about how to get his attention, but he was too nervous to call out his name. He shook his head.
'Just do it; what's the matter with you?'
"Mr Shadow…?"
Said hedgehog looked up when his name was called, "Yes?"
"If…" He didn't know how to phrase it, "If I need to leave… should I just…?"
Thankfully, Mr Shadow seemed to grasp what he meant, "I understand that this may be overwhelming for you, so if you feel like you need to leave the room, just raise your hand, ok? I'll excuse you and you may wait in the corridor for me."
"Ok." He mumbled, before realising that he should add in his appreciation, "Thank you..." He added hastily.
That did calm him down slightly. At least, if he couldn't deal with all this, he could leave the room. That was comforting to know. He relaxed a few muscles he hadn't known he was tensing with a quiet sigh.
However, those muscles, and then some, tensed up again terribly when the door to the classroom was thrown open and the other students made their way inside. Some didn't notice him. Others did. Some sent him weird looks. What little confidence he had left withered under them, but he wouldn't let them see he was a mess inside. He refused.
So many different species of varying pelt colours swamped into the room. He'd seen some of the species before. Sometimes in the village he grew up in, sometimes… sometimes lying motionless on a battlefield…
He felt a tremble threatening to shake his body at the thought, but he fought it down. He didn't need to do that right now.
'No, not now… please.' He pleaded with his body as he felt the urge come up again, 'Please not now!'
Flashes of glazed over eyes entered his head. The sweet tang of a decaying corpse so fresh in his mind, he felt like he could still actually smell it. It was all around him, making him nauseous. The metallic scent of blood mixed with something sour and an underlying sweetness… rot. He could taste it, in his mouth, the more he thought about it.
'Stop thinking about it… just… STOP!'
Shadow took a moment to look from the crowd of students to Maurice again and froze. He saw a sick feeling pass over his face, followed by panic, before it was gone again. He turned to look at the desk and his breathing had picked up slightly. Only slightly, but Shadow still noticed it. He thought briefly if he should ask him if he'd like to leave the room, but then Maurice closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His breathing calmed, and his face became blank. He did not look up at the other students again.
Whatever it was that had triggered the brief reaction, Shadow wasn't sure, but he was sure of one thing; Maurice was not at all comfortable. He had managed to calm himself, or at least make it seem like he was calm, but it was clear to him, that Maurice, really, was not. The poor kid was pushing through it though. He was determined and he had courage, he'd give him that.
Despite the blank look, Shadow did notice that he was a little pale though. He decided that once he had introduced him to the class, and started off the others with something to occupy them, he'd ask Maurice if he'd like to step outside for some fresh air.
'Poor kid…'
Once everyone was seated, Shadow cleared his throat, "Hush, everyone. I know it's the first day back and you're excited to tell each other all about what you've done recently, but you may have time to do that after. First, I'd like to remind you that school has officially started, so I trust that you all remember how to behave in a classroom?"
This was met with a few nods, "yeahs" and "of courses" from the students.
"Second, we have a new student joining us today." He gestured to Maurice in the seat at the front, who he noticed was shifting where he sat, "I trust you will show Maurice some respect and treat him as you would treat anyone else. I do not have anything specific for you to do for now, so you may occupy your time speaking amongst one another, quietly, while I wait for your new timetables from the office."
When Shadow was finished with his usual curt, straight to the point welcome back lecture, he turned to Maurice.
He stepped over to the desk he'd picked, but he didn't loom over him, like he'd usually do. He stood at a fair distance from the desk.
"Maurice?" He asked, trying to be soft.
His blue ears perked up, and he turned to face him, "Yeah?"
"Do you need some fresh air?"
For a second, Shadow thought he was going to stay prideful and say no – he almost looked… offended at first? – but then, he gave a brief nod. Shadow motioned for him to get up and follow him to the door. He opened it and let Maurice slip out first.
When they were both out in the cool corridor, Shadow faced Maurice.
"Are you ok? You looked a little pale in there…"
The blue hedgehog didn't look at him. He was staring at the floor and Shadow couldn't make out his expression. His ear twitched slightly.
"I'm… I'm fine." He mumbled and ran a hand through his quills.
He composed himself after a few seconds. Shadow was amazed at how fast he could recover. Though, he was fairly sure that he was still unsettled. He raised his head, but he still looked pale. Definitely unsettled.
"Are you sure? You could always go to the school nurse if you're not feeling well."
Maurice tensed slightly. Had he said something wrong?
"No!" He practically yelled.
He coughed, and continued at a quieter level, "No… I'll be fine, I-I just…" He trailed off and looked back at the classroom door, before shaking his head, "Nevermind."
"You just…?" Shadow attempted to prompt him to go on.
Maurice wasn't sure what to do.
Why did he have to yell? That was really embarrassing. Plus, now he had to either explain his way out of this without telling the truth or try and make it clear that he did not want to talk about it. He panicked slightly. The longer he stayed quiet, the more obvious it was that he wasn't ok.
If he was honest, he still couldn't get the memory of that smell from his mind. Or the look in that poor mobian's eyes…
"Maurice?"
"Huh?" He looked at the dark furred hedgehog in confusion for a moment.
Where was he…? Oh, right. New city. New school. He unconsciously rubbed his face.
"Oh, uh, sorry…" He uttered, "I… got distracted. I'm fine. Really. I think I just needed some air…"
"You sure you don't want to go to the nurse? I can take you if you want." Mr Shadow asked once more, a little more hesitantly this time.
Maurice took a deep, calming breath, "I'll be ok. I'd rather go back inside actually."
That was a lie. That was a definite lie. He certainly did not wish to return to the room yet, but standing out here with his teacher was getting awkward. Plus, he had no idea how long he'd zoned out before thinking about…No. He would stop thinking about it. He didn't need to have a breakdown right now. Not in school. Not in front of the other students, or his new teacher for that matter. He wouldn't even let himself do it around his uncle, so he wasn't going to let himself lose it here.
"Ok."
Maurice was thankful that he'd stopped pushing. Clearly, Mr Shadow knew when not to cross certain boundaries.
Mr Shadow gestured to the door, "You head on back inside, I have to go check the office for the new timetables."
Maurice nodded and turned to open the door. He was not expecting to be going back in alone. Why did he suddenly feel even worse about it?
Shadow wasn't going to the office, not yet. He needed to speak with Rouge. Something was definitely bothering Maurice. He knew he wasn't going to find out what anytime soon, but he could at least run it by Rouge so she'd be aware.
He stepped up to her door and knocked.
"Come in!" Came the sultry voice from behind the door.
Shadow opened the door and glared at the white bat. She was sitting at her desk, as usual, and seemed a little surprised to see Shadow again. It was only a few minutes into the school day, after all.
"That is how normal people open doors, by the way." He growled.
She burst out laughing, one hand on the desk, the other on her chest. She seemed pretty hysterical. Shadow didn't find it quite as amusing. The dark hedgehog merely stood by, arms folded, while he waited for her to calm down. He was used to it. Didn't mean he that he'd let the damn bat off the hook, though, but that could wait. He'd berate her more later.
When she did eventually stop, wiping the tears from her eyes and a grin still plastered on her face, Shadow softened the glare to exchange it for a more serious expression. The smile slipped from Rouge's face when she saw that.
"You're not just here to yell at me about doors, are you?" She guessed, her face now becoming concerned, "Is it Maurice?"
Shadow took a seat at her desk and sighed, placing an elbow against the dark wood and leaning his head on his hand. His reaction was enough to confirm Rouge's guess. The look in her eyes urged him on to tell her, but he was no longer sure how. How would he explain what had happened when he didn't even know? He'd walked Maurice out to the corridor, where the kid had refused his suggestion of going to the nurse. He wouldn't tell him what the problem was, though he hadn't been expecting him to. When he tried to push him, ever so slightly, he had immediately regretted it. Maurice had fallen silent, looking down the corridor with a far off look on his face. He'd stayed like that for a few minutes, not even responding to the first three times Shadow had called his name. By the fourth time, he'd just looked confused, like he'd forgotten where he was. Then, a flicker of recognition flashed briefly in his green eyes before he looked away and apologised.
Not sure where to start, Shadow merely told Rouge everything from the moment she'd left the room.
When Maurice opened the door to the classroom, everyone inside fell silent. He could feel all their eyes on him, but he didn't dare look at them. He kept his eyes firmly locked in place on his desk. He feared that if he didn't, he'd crumble under their collective gaze.
He sat down at his seat and turned to look out the window, not once looking at the other occupants of the room. He didn't know why this was so difficult for him. He'd been around other mobians before. Hell, he'd been around strangers before, and been completely fine. But, then… all the strangers he met had been through the same kind of thing as him back in Mobotropolis… or, Robotropolis as he'd known it for most of his life. These people, as far as he knew, had never experienced anything like the hells of Robotropolis. They probably never would.
When the talking around him slowly started up again, he chanced a brief glance around the room, never once moving his head though. He noticed that two seats to his left had unconsciously been left empty beside him. He wasn't too disappointed by that, he'd wanted to be by himself, but… now he knew they saw him as an outsider, despite what Mr Shadow had said. He probably wasn't going to be treated the same, but he was used to that. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to make friends. None of them would understand him. None of them would share the same experiences or have felt the same loss. None of them would have felt the same way he had when the war was over. He'd never had an ordinary life either, so he realised that he'd never click with anyone else here.
Good. He didn't want to make friends with anyone here.
He looked back out the window. He saw trees. He longed to go out and explore there instead of being stuck in this room. It almost looked like a small wood from here. That was more his speed. He focused on the woods behind the glass, glaring slightly at the barrier separating him from it. He calmed his nerves by imagining running through the trees, expertly dodging the trunks and hopping over the hidden roots. He imagined what flowers he might find there, what they'd smell like. Would they be the same as in the Great Forest? Would they be different, new? Would the flickies sound the same? What would the wind sound like through the trees? Would she sing the same song? Would it be a different melody? He so wanted to know. Desperately.
"Wow…" Rouge didn't know what to say.
It was obvious that Maurice was already having problems. From what Shadow had said, it sounded bad. And slightly repressed. Rouge wondered how close to the action the poor kid was…
"What do you think we should do?" Rouge asked after a moment of silence.
Shadow sighed again, "We can't pressure him. We'll have to inform his teachers that he'll be jumpy and nervous – we'll also have to let the poor kid have breaks if he needs them. Don't forget that this is all new to him."
"Yeah, I know." She mumbled, "So mostly we'll just have to keep an eye on him…" Rouge paused for a moment as a concerning thought came to her, "Shadow… what about History?"
At first her dark-furred friend looked confused, then a look of realisation spread over his face. They often covered topics like war in their History lessons. What if hearing about similar wars triggered some sort of fight or flight response in the young hedgehog? They had no idea what the kid could have seen, what he could have experienced. They didn't know what aspects of war he knew about and how many of them he himself had gone through.
"Shit… that could be a problem, yeah. We may just have to ask him if he'd rather do something else and skip the History lessons. At least the ones about war. We have to at least give him the option, just in case."
Rouge nodded in approval, "Make sure you tell him that when you assign someone for him to follow all day. You'll want to inform the student helping him too."
"I will." Shadow turned to leave, "Can you get that email out?" He asked.
"Of course. I'll get right on it."
Shadow left the room, leaving Rouge to write up the email to send to the rest of the staff.
Shadow quickly retrieved the timetables and headed back to the classroom. When he opened the door, the class was talking amongst themselves. He looked over to Maurice and saw him staring out the window with a wistful smile tugging at his lips. It was barely there, but still the first smile Shadow had seen from the quiet kid.
Shadow called out the register, telling the class to come up to get their new timetables as he said their names. This went well and, despite him expecting that Maurice wouldn't know what to do, he called "here" like every other student, though he remained seated as he had no timetable to collect as of yet. Shadow was honestly surprised, but glad, that he didn't have to explain it. He decided to let his students continue their respective conversations for the rest of the lesson. Most of them already knew the drill when it came to a new school year. The only one who wouldn't know, would be Maurice. Speaking of which, Shadow turned to check on him again.
The smile was gone. It was replaced by a look of antsy desperation instead. He was staring longingly out the window still. Maurice shook his head and turned to look at the desk with a soundless sigh. He folded his arms upon its surface and rested his chin on them, staring at the wall opposite. No one seemed to have spoken to him, but he didn't seem to be too upset about it. He seemed more upset about being in the room in general. Of course, most students didn't even want to be in school, apart from a select few.
Shadow sat down at his desk and looked to the back of the room where a young fox, much younger than his peers, sat beside an echidna. These two students were some of Shadow's favourites, simply because one displayed a real want to learn, and the other rarely caused trouble. Two of the most well-behaved students in the whole school; Miles and Knuckles.
Miles was a yellow and white fox. The kid had been allowed to skip several years because he was getting bored in his classes. He was very smart. Due to his unusual mutation of two tails, his friends nicknamed him… Tails. Knuckles was a red echidna. You didn't see many echidnas about these days, so it was a real shock to Shadow when he first met him. He had two spikes on the back of each hand, earning him his namesake. The two had been friends for a long time, apparently. They even shared most classes.
Shadow noticed that the two were looking over at Maurice pensively. Tails leaned over to Knuckles to whisper something. Knuckles nodded and they both stood up from where they were sitting and made their way over to Maurice. Shadow sighed in relief, at least he could count on those two to be friendly.