People are Troublesome
Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.
After a very long sleepless night with heavy thunderstorms and thin bedroom windows, Shikamaru was practically falling asleep at the school desk that morning. He didn't even care that Naruto was using him as a table for his textbooks.
"Ok, don't move." From the weight he could feel, it seemed there were a fair few books on his head.
"Couldn't you let me lie down first?"
"You can't move now!" Although annoyed he couldn't be bothered to fight so he just accepted his fate as a plaything for assorted fools.
His ordeal only ended when their tutor Iruka appeared. He was always nagging Naruto when he acted like a moron so the books were soon removed from his head. Shikamaru always sat next to Choji with Naruto and Sasuke behind and Sakura and Ino next to them. Kiba, Shino, Sai and Hinata sat at the other side of the room. Shikamaru had long ago worked out that being right at the front in the corner meant you were less likely to be noticed doing pretty much nothing than if you sat right at the back.
"What were we doing in history again?"
"Still old fashioned medicine Choji." The other boy only really paid attention when it came to food. If it hadn't been for other people he would've probably failed many an exam.
"There's no homework, right?"
"Nope."
"Well that's ok then." He then resumed eating his crisps loudly. Iruka ignored this blatant breaking of the no eating in class time rule. He used to get annoyed but after a while he learnt that if he just let Choji do it then he would actually pay more attention.
"Shika? Psst, Shika?" He considered ignoring Naruto but when he did there was usually some kind of continuous pestering.
"What do you want?" It better not be one of his stupid-.
"Why are oranges the only fruit named after their colour? Or was the colour named after the fruit?"
"…Is he serious?" Sasuke nodded and looked away. Wisely he wanted nothing to do with it. "Where did that even come from? And why is it always you?"
"That guy over in that class has oranges and it got me thinking."
"Why would you think I'd know? Ask Iruka." It was always Naruto who did these stupid things and he always seemed to ask Shikamaru. It was probably a compliment because he was assuming he was smart enough to know these things but it still got on his nerves a fair bit.
It wasn't until midway through the second lesson of the day that things actually became interesting. They'd had a few tests the week before and so most of their lessons were taken up with returning the tests and being bitched at for an hour. Kiba had a habit of stealing people's test papers and turning them into paper planes. Partway through their history lesson Kiba decided that just throwing them at any teachers or bins was too boring and so decided that Shikamaru would make a good alternative target.
The first two he didn't mind that much. The fifth one was when it started to get a little annoying but at the same time was just about bearable. By the time it got to nine though it was getting ridiculous.
Stupid multi-page tests. He could see Kiba preparing yet another plane. Instead of throwing one back he decided to wait until an opportunity came to better deal with him. One came sooner than expected when Kurenai started asking for a volunteer to help with carrying some boxes up to her office. Kiba was just the right distance to poke in his side. He soon yelped and jumped up.
"Oh thanks Kiba. They're a little heavy so you'll have to make a few trips."
"That's fine miss." He said it through gritted teeth while giving Shikamaru a death glare. There would be retribution but it was worth it.
"Nicely done." Choji was impressed. "He'll definitely kill you for it though."
"Oh I know." Every time he returned for a box he gave the boy a death glare and subtly flipped him the middle finger. It was funny to watch.
Hidan entered the classroom just after Kiba had taken the last box out of the room. The rain had been pouring all morning and he had obviously been in it for a while. He was soaked through and seemed not to have noticed. Understandably he was in a foul mood and he slammed the door hard enough to crack some of the glass. No one dared to laugh.
"Hidan? Do you have any spare clothes?"
"What the fuck do you think?" If anyone else had said that she would've ripped them a new one but like most teachers she gave him some leeway.
"Does anybody have any spares at all?" This made most people shuffle awkwardly. A few people probably did but no one wanted to risk having to spend time alone with Hidan or to draw attention to themselves. Kiba had returned to the classroom just as she said this and Shikamaru could see his little face just light up with an evil grin. He realised what the boy was about to do but was powerless to stop him.
"Shika's usually got some in his locker." He put on such an innocent expression that Kurenai was sufficiently fooled.
"Could you lend out any of it?" Well it wasn't like he could say no at this point. Denying it would be possible but at the same time his conscience wouldn't let him.
"Sure…"
Hidan followed him out of the room and he could feel the scowl burning into the back of his head. If he got out of this alive he'd be thankful. At least Hidan didn't seem to feel like talking. Shikamaru could appreciate someone who didn't talk too much.
When he got to the locker he did end up dropping the key in a rush to get it open and pull the clothes out.
"Err…" He had noticed a slight problem and Hidan was starting to get impatient.
"What? Why are you fucking around?" Oh crap.
"They might be a little small for you." Shikamaru was a fair amount shorter and smaller in build so obviously his clothes wouldn't fit.
"I don't give a shit so hand 'em over."
"Ok…" Hidan pretty much grabbed them out of his hand and stalked off. There was one benefit to this irritating diversion. If he had to do this shit he definitely wasn't rushing back to class.
-Page Break-
"Ok, I'll admit I went too far." At least he was admitting he was wrong here. It was a rare occasion that Kiba actually realised he was doing something stupid.
"What did he do?" Naruto was among the group in a different class and so didn't know what had happened.
"I am still pretty pissed off with you Kiba."
"I'm sorry! At least you didn't die though!"
"True…" He wasn't as annoyed as he was acting but it was fun to make the boy squirm a little.
"What did he do? Dammit guys, don't ignore me!"
"Shika tricked Kiba into carrying loads of boxes so he forced Shikamaru into being alone with Hidan." This was a surprising thing to Naruto. Shikamaru was more surprised that Choji could actually talk whilst eating.
"How did you get out of there alive?"
"God knows." Because I most definitely don't.
"Will you forgive me if I buy you a cookie?"
"…Double chocolate chip?"
"Whatever you want."
"Deal." He forgave people pretty easily when bribed.
Cookie acquired, he sat and gazed out the window. The rain was too heavy to go outside in and so they'd stayed in the classroom. It was crowded and stuffy and difficult to breathe in and Shikamaru hated the noise. He was a loner by nature and so being in places like this could get a bit much for him.
"You ok there?" Choji always noticed.
"I guess… Kind of sick of people right now."
"You want some of my crisps?" It wasn't often that he shared food so you knew you were close if he was willing to do that.
"I'm good."
"You don't eat enough."
"I don't sleep much either." Insomnia hadn't been something that always bothered him but lately sleeping at nights had been difficult. It was too quiet in some ways.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't know. I'm feeling really… Listless might be a good word for it."
"Listless?"
"Just everything feels kind of troublesome. It's all the same. And that's all well and good but… I can't explain it! The air just feels stale."
"You need a new hobby."
"I can't think of anything to do. It's not like we live in the most exciting place in the world."
"But you hate excitement."
"I do but I hate feeling like crap too."
"Well maybe something interesting will happen soon."
"Hopefully." Even a minor brawl in the classroom would be a good start. This was provided by Naruto and Kiba who had decided to arm wrestle. Naturally this eventually descended into full blown wrestling and most of the rest of the class stopped what they were doing to watch and laugh.
Whilst watching Shikamaru found his eyes wandering to the corner where Hidan normally sat. The boy wasn't there as expected but people avoided the area almost instinctively. Despite the clothes being too small for him he'd still worn them. Shikamaru doubted he'd get them back though he dreaded the idea of having to explain to his mum why he needed a new kit for P.E.
He didn't want to be near to Hidan but at the same time he often found himself watching. Everybody did but he almost found himself admiring him in a way. He didn't want to be as nuts as him but at the same time he did wish he could act like that without giving a shit what people thought of him. It seemed less of a hassle than trying to please family members and teachers.
When Kiba finally emerged victorious the room went back to normal and Shikamaru started tracing the graffiti in his desk. None of it was original but it was worth a read to find out if there were any updates. Usually a penis or two (courtesy of Sai) was added and this week didn't disappoint.
"Why are you stroking that penis?" Yet again it was Kiba.
"I'm not-." Ah. I am. He pulled his arm back and glared. "I was thinking."
"You feel up penises when you're thinking?" The grin just got wider.
"Coming from the king of masturbation. It's all you ever do."
"No it isn't!" This was always something he vehemently denied even though they all knew it was true. It did at least make Kiba leave him alone.
By the time the day ended, Shikamaru felt even more out of it. Long hours of people and work had mostly burnt him out and so he wanted to get out of there so he could escape. He found himself simply staring into space as he went to dump all his heavy books into the locker. The rain was tipping it down again and he was trying to think of a way to get a lift home from some kind of parent.
He was pulled back to earth when the door was slammed shut in front of him. Hidan was staring at him and he seemed kind of pissed off.
"Can I help you?" It was stupidly polite but that was his default mode when dealing with crazy people. Hidan handed him a bag. "Err… What's-." Oh! It was kind of stupid that he didn't notice Hidan had changed back into his usual clothes.
"…Thanks." This was so out of character Shikamaru stared at him.
"No problem?" Hidan nodded and walked off. Shikamaru was kind of frozen in shock. It was just weird to see someone who was usually so angry and hateful all the time acting like a civil human being.
…Either I'm dreaming or I've hit my head.