People are Troublesome

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

Shikamaru was filled with a sense of dread about the day ahead when he woke up to Shikaku sitting at the end of his bed. It did happen quite a lot so he shouldn't have been so surprised, but recent events had lowered his tolerance for that kind of thing.

"Isn't it a bit early to be starting this crap?"

"Shh! I've got a headache!"

"I wonder why…"

"When are you getting up anyway? I need a lie down."

"This is my room." Most people wouldn't need to have this pointed out.

"But your mum won't let me close the curtains anywhere else." Shikamaru dragged himself out of the bed and opened the curtains before Shikaku could stop him. It was satisfying to see his father pull away from the light like some kind of vampire. He left him to his skulking and went searching for food.

When he finally escaped his household so he could get to his slightly more normal (maybe) friends, he had to hope it may be at least a little more relaxing than his home. Seeing Hidan standing on the other side of the road and staring up at the sky with a bored expression on his face made him stop in his tracks. His house wasn't exactly close to any other houses and he'd never known the boy to walk past it at all.

What does he want now? Shikamaru decided to just walk past and hope that there'd be no attempt at conversation. That was always beyond him before midday and he always seemed to offend Hidan whenever they talked. After he had walked a few metres he heard footsteps behind him. It seemed he'd acquired a stalker.

When they got halfway to school and nothing had happened, Shikamaru nearly forgot the other boy was there. There had been no attempt at contact at all and it wasn't until they were closer to the school that he was reminded of the weirdness. A few people were giving them looks. For a start Hidan was never in this early and he never tried to get close to anyone. At least when they got back to the classroom the boy went straight to his usual seat and didn't follow him further. That would've increased the annoyance. It didn't stop there either.

"You realise Hidan's been staring at you all day right?" Kiba looked round again. "And not just the glaring, as in actual staring."

"Oh thanks, I never would've noticed."

"Calm down dear." Kiba kept turning round and staring back and Shikamaru had to slap his arm. "What was that for?!"

"Stop doing that! You might make him worse." Yet again he wished he had someone decent around him. Even Shino or Sai would've been preferable right now. They were less irritating than Kiba.

"What are you going to do?"

"Not a clue." Pretending it wasn't happening was working ok for him so far.

"Can't you just let him beat you up or something? We don't want to have him doing this shit at lunch."

"I'd rather not."

"Selfish prick." This didn't even deserve a reply. He was trying to work out what the staring was about. It seemed pointless. Unless he just meant to screw with his head. If that was the case then he was definitely succeeding.

"Why are people so confusing?"

"Eh?" Kiba had a vague expression on his face and the end of his pen in his mouth.

"Just talking to myself." This guy was too stupid to talk to about anything important.

At least he had one lesson without Hidan and at lunch the boy was nowhere to be seen. He needed the break. At least the jokes about him being gay had stopped since they were all distracted by Sasuke and Naruto skiving. Ino and Sakura were coming up with different scenarios as to what they were doing. The only problem was that for the last lesson he had to sit alone. And it was one of the lessons where the teacher hadn't even bothered to show up.

Normally he and Sasuke spent the time screwing around, occasionally pretending to work when any teachers looked in. Now he was facing a boring hour of staring into space. The only positive was that he could catch up on some sleep. Today, however he had someone else sitting in Sasukes place. He'd just put his head down to get some sleep when Hidan came and sat next to him. That was just plain weird.

"…Hi?"

"Hn." It wasn't at least a direct insult. And he was no longer staring at him so that was a bonus. The rest of the class were giving him looks but at least they weren't likely to beat him up.

After the initial shocked silence most people stopped paying attention but it was hard for Shikamaru to ignore. He couldn't even sleep with that guy sitting next to him. He doodled a little but that couldn't take up the whole hour. It was weird that Hidan could just stare into space the whole time and not get bored. Shikamaru was sick of sitting around and too on edge to sleep. That was the only way to explain what he did next.

"So… read any good books lately?" He could understand the weird look he got for that.

"Are you high?" This seemed pretty uncalled for.

"I was making conversation." Surely that much is obvious?

"Well that was a fucking pathetic attempt."

"I'm sorry?"

"You should be." Hidan then scowled and resumed looking at the wall.

If he doesn't want to talk then why is he here? All he wanted to do was get away from this weirdness. It was halfway through the lesson but he no longer cared at this point and he couldn't be bothered to work either. People barely noticed him walking out the room but it wasn't until he had gotten out of the front door and round the corner that he could relax. Someone like Asuma would probably give him hell for leaving early.

"Hey asshole!" How the hell did he do that? Considering that Hidan had still been in the room when he had left, it was pretty amazing that he'd managed to get to the end of the road before him.

"…Need something?"

"You left a book dumbass."

"Oh! Thanks…" He wasn't quite sure what else to do here. Hidan was watching him and almost waiting. It seemed something was expected of him but he didn't know what. To buy some time he put the book in his bag, mind racing. "I'm gonna head home now…"

There was no comment to this and so Shikamaru walked round him and continued down the road. It wasn't long before Hidan resumed his following from the morning. There'd be no violence earlier so that didn't seem likely but it was still annoying. You couldn't completely relax when you were being stalked.

"Where do you live?" He didn't turn around but he felt like he may as well make an attempt, even if the other boy wasn't listening.

"A house. A town. A country. A planet." He'd been expecting no response so this was an improvement.

"Any more specific than that?"

"Why?" The asshole was probably trying not to laugh.

"Just wondering if you're following me because your house is near mine?"

"No." Well that narrows it down.

"Are you going to tell me why you're following me?"

"Why should I?" He even sounded offended.

"Because it's confusing and creepy when people follow you for no reason." This would be obvious to most people.

"I have a reason."

"…You're not going to tell me though, are you?"

"No." Shikamaru cursed his past self. If only he had stayed with Choji and Ino the other day instead of going to that damn field and tripping up Hidan.

"Are you going to follow me all the way home?"

"Maybe…"

"…"

When the house finally came into view it was starting to rain and Shikamaru was glad he decided to leave early. And Hidan couldn't follow him into his house either. Although it was going to be hard to go inside with Hidan holding onto his arm.

"…What are you doing?"

"It's raining." Hidan was staring at him.

"I noticed. That's why I want to go inside."

"Invite me in you asshole!"

"What?!" He forgot to restrain himself then.

"I'm not walking in the fucking rain."

"You chose to follow me."

"You want me to break the door down?"

"…Just come in." He didn't doubt that the asshole was serious. As soon as they got in the front door the boy began pulling off his clothes. Shikamaru watched half in shock until the trousers started coming off. "Wait! Stop! No!"

"I'm wet."

"Don't strip in my hall!"

"…So your room's ok then?"

"…Ok that's fine. It's-."

"I know where it is dipshit." At least if he was upstairs Shikamaru could get a few minutes of peace and quiet. And he had to hope that he didn't trash his room or go through any of his things. Hidan was up there alone for a long time and he nearly considered going up there when he reappeared wearing a pair of his trousers. He hadn't bothered with a shirt.

"Why are you wearing my clothes?"

"Mine are wet. What did you think I was doing?"

"…But why not a shirt?"

"It's hot in here."

"Oh." I can't even process this right now. He just turned the TV on and stared at it blankly. The day had been too long for him to feel like dealing with things. Hidan moved through into the kitchen and he could hear him going through the cupboards.

And now he's stealing our food. Great. He knew he should probably stop this but he doubted Hidan would just agree to leave. Plus placating people with food usually worked. Outside the rain seemed to be getting worse. Why can't it just stop so he'll leave?

And of course now had to be when the doorbell went off. As Shikaku usually forgot his key or was too lazy to get it out of his pocket this wasn't unusual and he lazily drifted down the hallway.

"Hey Shika!" And now he was really confused. Why are Kiba and Neji here?

"…Hi?"

"Why did you leave early? I thought you were coming with us to Sasukes."

"We were?" Neji stared at him. Obviously this had been what they were talking about at lunch that he had vaguely mumbled at. Apparently they had seen this as him agreeing.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah… Sorry I've been distracted…"

"Oh yeah, the psycho was staring at you." Kiba was as loud as usual and Shikamaru froze. Hidan could definitely hear. "What do you think his problem his?"

"I couldn't say…" Shut up! Shut up!

"Why do you think he's such an asshole anyway? There's no reason."

"Um…"

"Maybe he has a lot going on?" Neji was more inclined to be understanding but Kiba was less so.

"Or maybe the part of his brain that tells you to stop being an asshole is defective." Shikamaru and Neji just stared at him. This could easily apply to him as well.

"Or maybe everyone else is a major asshole and it takes a lot of fucking effort not to cave their heads in." There had been no warning. Hidan was standing behind them, topless and holding a kitchen knife. Understandably Kiba pretty much ran whilst Neji slowly turned round and walked away.

"…" Shikamaru didn't know what to say about this and so he settled on the most obvious issue. "Why have you got a knife?"

"It's more effective than a baseball bat."

"Oh… Sorry." He was apologising a lot recently.

"…Why?" For some reason that word broke Hidans brain.

"My friends were being rude so…"

"Oh." Hidan took a moment to process this. "Make me food."

"Why?"

"Because I was really offended. I could be scarred for life and all that shit."

"You don't look offended."

"You want me to start crying and threatening suicide?"

"…No."

"Then make me food." …I am being emotionally blackmailed by a known crazy person. Wonderful. Shikamaru sighed and headed to the kitchen. How this had happened he didn't know and it was doubtful that Kiba wouldn't say anything. He was definitely doomed.