People are Troublesome

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"Good mornin' fuckwit!" Shikamaru had only just opened his front door to leave for school when he was greeted by Hidan shouting at him from across the driveway. The usually angry boy was actually smiling at him. It was such a shock that he dropped his school bag. Once he had picked up all his stuff and gotten over to Hidan, the boy had reverted to his usual apathetic expression. "Why'd ya do that?"

"I was surprised."

"Why? I've been here often enough."

"You were actually smiling." A few weeks ago he'd have never wanted to insult Hidan like that. After last night, he felt like he could comfortably do anything. That didn't mean he wouldn't get punished for it. Like the slap around the back of the head he had just received.

"I'm not that fuckin' miserable, screw you!" The scowl had reappeared but there was a barely visible pout there too.

"You should smile more was what I meant." And then he realised what he had just said. And slowly his face went red. It was pretty embarrassing to say something like that.

"I see…" Hidan was no longer scowling. Instead he was looking at Shikamaru with an odd expression on his face. One that made it difficult to look at him.

"So anyway!" Change the subject, just change the subject. "Do you want me to talk to Kiba for you?"

"…No. I guess I should do it…" He sighed. Hidan looked at his most normal when he was dejected.

"I think they'll understand if you tell them truth." Mainly that he was incredibly awkward and so unused to human contact that he reacted in exaggerated and violent ways.

"You think?" He sounded dubious. It was hard to blame him though. They had all acted like he was insane yesterday.

"If they don't, screw them."

"They're your friends."

"And so are you."

"…Thanks." Hidan was always extra awkward when he thanked people. You could tell he meant it though.

As they got closer to the school, Shikamaru noticed fewer people were giving him odd looks. Possibly he was around Hidan so often, it was no longer an odd occurrence. Hidan was always quieter near the school too. He didn't particularly like talking around numbers of people. Probably he thought his stuff was his own business and not any of theirs.

Inside their classroom, most people had already sat down. Shikamaru only hesitated for a moment before following Hidan to his corner. He could spy Ino raising an eyebrow at him with a small smile on her face. And then she started whispering to Sakura. He just knew what that would be about and he clicked his tongue. All of his friends were so odd.

"What's wrong with you?" Hidan did not even ask why he was sitting in the corner with him.

"The shipping brigade has launched."

"Oh… So if we just talk and sit near each other, they ship us?"

"Pretty much." He'd never understood the intricacies of how this worked. Neither was he sure why they were pursuing this particular topic of conversation.

"So before it was you and Choji?"

"No. Choji is dating Ino and therefore, exempt."

"So who'd they ship you with?"

"No one." His apathy had kept him safe.

"Except me?"

"Except you, yes." That was weird. At least Hidan didn't seem to be the type of person to get creeped out by it. He didn't work like the normal person.

"…So what about penis guy?"

"…I'm guessing you mean Sai."

"Yeah that one."

"I'm pretty sure they leave him out of it too." Because he, like Naruto and Sasuke, would go along with it or not be bothered.

"…So what would they do if I kissed you?" Shikamaru froze up.

"What?! Why would you say that?!" Hidan still looked very apathetic. All he did was shrug. "…Please don't do that."

I take it back… I will never understand this guy at all.

There was a benefit to being around Hidan. Normally teachers gave him extra work, especially Yamato. But because Hidan scowled at all who approached, he was left alone too. He actually dared to sit and do nothing at one point and he got away with it.

The best moment came when in Asuma's class. He thought the guy was going to approach him but Hidan stuck close. Even at the end of the class, Hidan glared at him so much that he didn't bother.

"…You did that on purpose didn't you?"

"You said you hate that guy."

"I do… And thank you." Because Hidan at least, wasn't afraid of getting in trouble. Either because he didn't care or perhaps because of Sasori.

"I'm gonna go."

"Where?" Hidan raised an eyebrow at him.

"Home."

"Don't we have art last?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you just avoiding having to talk to my friends over lunch?"

"…Maybe." Shikamaru grabbed Hidan's arm and pulled him along. It would be a lot less troublesome if he didn't have to worry about the people he liked hating each other. That was a weird thought. He did like being around Hidan. Even though he frustrated and scared him at times, he could be fun.

"You gonna hold my hand the whole way?" He let go of his arm quickly.

"I didn't want you to leave."

"Oh… ok then." There was no further comment on this. He could tell that Hidan felt more uncomfortable the closer they got. The others noticed them approaching and Ino started doing a heart shape with her hands.

"Fucking knock it off Ino." She just laughed.

"It's not my fault, you make it too easy for me." Hidan just watched Ino with his head tilted on one side. This worried him slightly.

"Hey you!" Kiba appeared to have gotten over his fear. He seemed to have no problem with marching right over to Hidan. If Shikamaru hadn't noticed the slight tensing of his hand, you'd think Hidan was unbothered by this. "Why'd you yell at me you asshole?"

"I don't like bein' touched." He hadn't expected him to just come out with it straightaway.

"You- what?" Apparently Kiba had been ready for an argument.

"I don't like bein' touched," Hidan repeated, staring directly at him.

"Oh… Err… Sorry?" Hidan shrugged. "Y-You could have just said though."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry 'bout that." And then he walked past and sat down, ignoring the way Kiba was staring at him.

"Ok… Has he been switched with an alien or something?" Shikamaru shrugged and followed along behind him.

"Nicely done."

"Hn." He dropped down next to the now scowling one. "You forgot too."

"What?"

"You grabbed me earlier."

"Oh… Oh! I forgot, sorry." It was worrying that he'd been so close to being punched in the face.

"Well I guess you're ok. I probably wouldn't punch you."

"'Probably'?" He didn't sound very certain.

"I didn't punch you then."

"I'm very relieved right now." It could have been painful.

"She's doin' it again."

"What?" He followed Hidan's gaze to see Ino doing the heart shaped gesture at them. "Go annoy someone else Ino."

"But this is a new amusement!"

"Go bother Kiba!" She huffed and pouted. Shikamaru was no fool, he would not fall for her pitiful looks. Hidan, after a moment's hesitation, stood up and went after her. "Where are you going?" There was no response.

Shikamaru wasn't going to stop him. If he wanted to go and screw around with the annoying Ino that was his decision. As long as he wasn't involved in any way. And he was socialising with someone else; not something to be discouraged. He'd thought so anyway.

"Shika! Where's your homework?" Kiba didn't even wait for his response and began rifling through his bag.

"For art?"

"Yeah."

"In there somewhere. He never checks though." Sasori only set homework when another teacher was around. He never bothered to collect it.

"True. I don't want him to decide to change his mind on the one day I forget."

"The 'one' day?"

"Shut up." A loud ringing noise started up from Hidan's bag. He and Kiba looked over. "…I am so tempted to answer that."

"I wouldn't."

"Yeah… He can see me." He simply stole the homework and returned to where Shino was sitting with a book. A few moments later, Hidan returned, followed by Ino.

"Your phone just- What are you doing?" The boy had sat down and put his arm around Shikamaru, pulling him close.

"Like this?" Instead of answering Shikamaru, he looked at Ino who was widely grinning.

"Yes! And now?"

"What's-?" He was muffled by Hidan kissing him. Hard. The main thought running through his head was; what the fuck is going on?

"Perfect~." This, after the click of a camera.

"Hn." Hidan removed his arm and sat back down.

"And as promised." Ino threw him some money and skipped off happily.

"…Did you just kiss me because Ino paid you?"

"Yes." He didn't look bothered by this. "We can eat well tonight."

"Do you think you could warn me before you decide to pimp me out?" He knew that he had gone really red.

"Oh… ok then. You don't wanna enjoy the profits then?"

"I've bloody earnt them!" How is he so calm? I thought he was supposed to be awkward? "And your phone was just going." Hidan stuck his hand into his bag, pulled out the phone and scowled.

"Tch." He threw it back down.

"Anything important?"

"No." Rather than his neutral glare, this was an irritated scowl. The phone began blasting again and he quickly hung it up.

"Someone you don't like?"

"Someone I loathe."

"Oh..." And now he was feeling self-conscious. No one had done that to him before. The phone started ringing again and he quickly stopped it.

"Just fuck off!"

"Why don't you turn it off?"

"Not for that dickhead!" He was indignant on that point.

By the end of lunch, he'd been phoned four more times and was in a thoroughly bad mood. Possibly he was trying to take Shikamaru's advice as he had not attempted to take it out on anyone else. Ino came skipping up behind them when they began heading to art.

"You need to keep this guy around Shika, I like him." Her grin was not a good one.

"Please don't get him helping with your creepy fantasies." She just giggled and walked on. Great… I'm going to regret this.

Once they got to the classroom, Hidan stalked over to Sasori who was zoning out on the desk with a cup of coffee. He threw the phone down in front of him.

"Tell your fuckin' stoner boyfriend to stop calling me" Stoner boyfriend?

"I don't feel like calling him!"

"And I don't wanna deal with his bullshit!" After this outburst he moved to the table and dropped into the chair next to Shikamaru.

"Stoner boyfriend?"

"…I'll tell you later." He wasn't sure he wanted to know.