People Are Troublesome

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

This… this is interesting… Shikamaru wasn't exactly unhappy. He was sitting in Hidan's flat, eating Chinese food in comfortable silence. When Hidan was quiet, he never made him feel half as awkward as other people seemed to. The interesting part was what was going on upstairs.

For the past half-hour there had been bangs, crashes, and a lot of shouting. As he knew Sasori lived up there, he wasn't sure if he should be concerned or not. As Hidan didn't seem too fussed by it all, he decided nothing needed to be done. And as he continued eating he was reminded of how his meal had been earned; it was not a pretty thought.

He kissed me… Troublesome moron… Shikamaru really had to hope that he wouldn't do it again. Ino had found a willing sidekick in her games and now she was probably going to try to get him to repeat it. Looking over at Hidan, he felt increasingly uncomfortable. As he had been listening to the fight above and eating, he'd managed to forget about it… But they'd been sitting there for a long time and now he had finished his meal. Hidan for his part wasn't looking in his direction much either.

This has been a little too quiet… If he didn't say anything soon he would probably get a little crazy so he snapped.

"What's going on up there?" Hidan glanced upwards.

"Lover's quarrel. Is a noisy load of bullshit." He sounded quite lethargic about the whole thing.

"…Are you planning on elaborating here?" This didn't explain very much.

"You'll find out more in a minute anyway." Why this was Shikamaru didn't know, but he sighed and leant back in his chair. If Hidan wasn't going to talk, he was going to sleep. He was missing out on it by being here.

"You look really knackered." It took a lot of self-control not to jump out of his seat when he heard a voice directly above him. Hidan had silently made his way across the room and leaned over the back of the chair so the first thing Shikamaru saw when he opened his eyes was a pair of amethyst orbs glaring down at him.

"…Are you a ninja?" It was the only explanation he could think of.

"Could be…" One side of his lip curled into a smile. A fairly pleasant smile. Shikamaru couldn't quite believe he had just thought that and made sure to look in another direction.

"Is all that shouting anything to do with the phone calls from earlier?"

"Yeah." Hidan sighed. "Stupid puppet-lovin' dickhead."

"Does he really love puppets that much?"

"His flat is full of that shit." There was a pause in the conversation as a loud smashing noise could be heard somewhere over the kitchen. "It was anyway… pretty sure Blondie is gonna fix that."

"Blondie?"

"You'll find out." That's what you said the last time.

"When?" Above them there was suddenly a loud door slamming sound. Hidan sighed.

"In about five seconds… Ugh…" He resigned himself to what was about to happen and reluctantly made his way to the front door. His timing was such that he arrived just as someone started hammering on it. Gazing at Shikamaru, he shrugged and opened the door. What almost fell in could only be described as a wailing mass of blonde hair.

"That bastard! That fucking bastard!" The figure who had thrown himself onto the chair Hidan had just vacated, certainly suited the moniker Blondie. He had long, almost yellow hair, one side scarped back into a ponytail. Though one eye was covered by an extensive fringe, the one that still showed was a deep blue and rimmed red from the crying.

"Hn…" was Hidan's only response as he dropped down next to Shikamaru.

"He hasn't called me in fucking days! And you know why? Because he's been working on a shitty puppet! Who cares?" The blonde looked in Hidan's direction.

"No one." Hidan gave the response without much interest. It was as if he was reading from a set script.

"Right? And when I came round with a cake I spent hours making, he acts like he's done nothing wrong! And he complained about my cooking! Piece of shit!" Once again there was a lull in the ranting.

"Ungrateful asshole." Hidan had picked up a magazine and was flicking through it. The guy either didn't notice or didn't care.

"I don't know why I bother. I am way too good for that anti-social prick!"

"Way too good."

"I should dump his ass!"

"Go for it." Hidan glanced at Shikamaru and rolled his eyes. It was becoming hard not to laugh; he was so clearly not interested.

"You little shit!" Sasori had appeared and he looked livid. "You almost broke my puppet!"

"Who cares? You have no respect for me! You treat me like some hooker!"

"And you insult my art! It's a lot better than your feeble pieces of mush!"

"The shit you call art is just a glorified child's toy!"

And so this continued with constant back and forths about art, the original argument seemingly forgotten. Hidan was now completely immersed in the magazine, paying no attention to any of this except to occasionally move a plate or a glass when the pair got too close.

"…This happens a lot, doesn't it?"

"Yep." Hidan sighed again.

"Well then, maybe you should just fuck off!"

"Maybe I will! And I'm gonna break your useless piece of driftwood first!"

"Don't you fucking dare!" The two of them practically dashed out of the flat and Hidan lazily made his way back to the door to lock it behind them. This completed, he sat back down in his original seat and relaxed.

"What was that?" He had gotten the gist of things already but he didn't quite understand why they had come down here.

"A pair of morons fightin' over bullshit."

"…So is that Sasori's boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Deidara the dramatic, whiny, dickhead."

"Is that the one who kept phoning you?" Hidan clicked his tongue.

"He always phones me when puppet fucker ignores him. Pain in the ass."

"And they come down here to argue?"

"Every single fuckin' time."

"Wow." He could see why Hidan hadn't really cared about the ranting. If you heard it that often, you would find it hard to show any kind of enthusiasm.

"They're gonna probably have make up sex soon… Ugh." He looked so done with it all.

"They sound like such fun neighbours to have." Hidan gave him a pained look. He knew he would regret this (especially after the forced kissing from earlier), but Shikamaru didn't want to listen to the overly dramatic couple. "…You wanna go back to mine?" He couldn't leave the unfortunate bastard to suffer.

"Fuck yes."

The sounds of yelling were already dying down as they escaped the flat and tried to distance themselves. Hidan looked drained after that and seemed as exhausted as Shikamaru often was.

"Why do they do that in your place?" There seemed no good reason.

"They've been doin' it for years. 'Cept for when I lived with puppet fucker… Then Blondie'd just come into my room." This was an unexpected piece of information.

"You lived with Sasori?" Hidan stared.

"I didn't tell you that?"

"I would have remembered." And you never tell people anything. Hidan was difficult to get any kind of personal information from.

"Oh. Yeah, lived with that fucker for six years. Then escaped last year." He seemed blissful at the memory of that day.

"I see…" From when he was nine? He'd known that Hidan hadn't exactly had a conventional childhood, but living with Sasori towards the end couldn't have helped him at all.

Shikamaru didn't want to force it out of him though. Aside from the sheer amount of effort it would involve, he didn't want to drag out personal stuff like last time. Hidan was watching him; it seemed he knew what he was thinking.

"He's a cousin… or somethin'. Really distant cousin of my… mum I think? Not sure." Shikamaru must have shown the surprise on his face because Hidan then said "what?"

"I just didn't expect you to tell me straight out." Usually it was all round about and fragmented.

"You said we were friends. Dumbass." Hidan made an exasperated noise. "Plus you looked like you wanted to know."

"I did wonder why you and Sasori were so close." I can see where he got the anger issues and the vocabulary. The guy should not be around children. It was a shame he worked in a school.

"We ain't close. I put up with his shit and he puts up with mine."

"I see… So is that why the school never complains when you… you know…"

"Flip out?"

"Yes, that."

"They think I'm depressed or somethin'. Don't know what that asshole is tellin' em."

"Probably that you're deeply disturbed." Hidan flicked him on the side of the head. "Why were you living with Sasori anyway? I can't see him being anyone's first choice for a parent figure."

"He was the only choice."

"The only choice?"

"There was no one else."

"Oh…" I'm not going to ask… If Hidan decided to tell him he would. Apparently he was in a sharing kind of mood.

"The one that birthed me died."

"I'm so-."

"No. No sympathy bullshit. Don't want any of it."

"I guess that's just the automatic response to this kind of information."

"I know…" Hidan wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"Can I ask how?" When he looked at him there were no emotions there. It was like he was talking about something that didn't concern him.

"Drove her car into water I think. Don't know if it was on purpose or accidental. She was over-dramatic though. Maybe she just wanted attention?"

"Aren't there easier ways to get attention?" Shikamaru was trying to be normal but it was hard with this kind of information.

"Right? She did like makin' a song and dance out of everythin'. Probably why no guys liked her for too long."

"I'm gonna guess you don't know your dad then."

"Pretty much."

"And you and your mum didn't get on…"

"We didn't argue or anythin'. We just lived together and did our own shit." This explained his general sense of detachment.

"…That sounds kind of… lonely I guess." Hidan seemed surprised.

"Really? Guess it does… I used to be ok on my own so I guess I didn't notice."

"Used to?"

"What?"

"You said you used to be ok alone."

"Oh…" Hidan pondered this.

"…so you're not now?" The scowl had re-appeared.

"I am! I just like seein' you, dumbass." This was a compliment but he barked it like some kind of insult.

"Oh…" There was a bit of an awkward silence. "I guessed as much." He received a punch in the arm for this.

And so the awkwardness continues.