Begrudgingly, Ichigo decided to follow Yoruichi's advice and talk to Yamamoto. If worst came to worse, he'd probably end up shuddering on the floor again; not an enviable position, but then he could ignore the head captain without remorse. He told himself it was because Yoruichi asked, though a part of him was desperate to prove the head captain wrong. He tried to ignore that voice, as he had no idea how he would accomplish that.
Ichigo found the captain commander completing paperwork in the first division office. He hated to swallow his pride, especially when he still felt reverberations of anger, but he trusted Yoruichi and would do anything to see his family again. Ichigo, somewhat hesitantly, took the chance to bow and apologize for his behavior during the captain's meeting.
Yamamoto looked at him for an infinite second. Considering
The second passed, and instead of simply accepting the apology, Yamamoto invited Ichigo to tea. Despite his surprise, Ichigo must have managed some form of the word 'yes' as Yamamoto briskly stood up and indicated that Ichigo should follow. The young man feebly complied as the elder sedately flash-stepped through the Seireitei, Ichigo reminding himself that, as eccentric as Yamamato was acting, he should not think of the commander as 'old.'
###
The walk seemed long, so Ichigo took the chance to sort through some of his emotions; they had been a real mess recently. The invitation had knocked him off balance enough to let the last of his burning passion leave emptiness behind. The young man wasn't sure what he should feel at this point - anger, depression, rage, or hatred; but at the moment, he simply felt… bereft. As if there was a hole in his spirit, the shape of a life left behind, and he worried it would never heal.
He wasn't sure why he had agreed to tea besides the obvious; perhaps he simply needed direction, and any would do. Yoruichi's words of hope, of visiting his family, echoed in his ears. A drowning man eagerly welcomes any salvation. And Ichigo realized he was a drowning man indeed.
Still, to consider himself a drowning man was frighteningly similar to how he handled… that day. He had wallowed in his despair. He knew that, in a twisted way, he had treasured the emptiness; it was both proof of his mother's significance and penance for her death. Another hole, he supposed, something else taken far too soon.
Some would say he was not responsible, but he pulled her towards the Grand Fischers lure. He brought her to her end.
Zangetsu's complaints of rain eventually broke through the haze of his self-recrimination; Ichigo did not hear them initially. Or perhaps he ignored them? It hardly mattered; they always followed the same script when Ichigo thought deeply of Masaki's death.
Didn't Zangetsu understand that he could not leave his mom behind? That her memory was as much the source of his drive as it was the chain at his feet? That it was only suitable that he grieved her death? For it may not have been he who cut her down, but he led her to the abomination that did.
Revenge was hardly satisfying in the face of such censure. And he couldn't even achieve that empty victory.
Zangetsu's complaints intensified, but Ichigo did not offer an apology. If the sword's complaints of flooding were genuine, well, the sword's words first brought him low. Consequences indeed. He shook his head to clear such thoughts. Zangetsu wanted him to move forward, to advance. He should not blame the spirit for being true to his nature.
It was with a shock he realized they were in the Noble District. And this area of ancient trees and solemn guards was not just the noble district but the region reserved for the estates of the high noble families. He hadn't even noticed passing the perimeter.
Each estate combined nature preserve and opulent displays of wealth. Coble stones seemed freshly hewn amid gardens of opulent grandeur. Palatial houses offered a stark contrast to expansive grounds, each painted and trimmed to leave no doubt of the owner's affluence. The trees themselves only grew larger and larger as the houses grew older and the grounds grew wider.
Ichigo was suddenly sure that the annoying Kuchiki lived near here, that bastard.
Ichigo first noticed the forset ahead when it appeared a green smudge on the horizon. His shock developed as the distant forest he had seen for the last part of the journey only continued to grow higher with their approach. Yamamoto led him forward, eventually reaching a small gate set in a short wall surrounding some of the tallest trees he had ever seen. He did not recognize the trees themselves, only that they seemed impossibly exaggerated, with massive pillar-like trunks larger around than his house and roots thicker than Kenpachi. The bark on the monstrosities seemed to alternate from crimson to a light brown, with pale green moss carpeting sections wider than most highways and seemingly longer too. The ridges in the bark were broader and taller than he, and the canopy itself started hundreds of feet in the air, covering the top third of the trunk. He was confident that trees like this could not exist in the real world. They would need to live for millennia to reach such heights.
It was a humbling sight.
The gate seemed to open with a pulse of Yamamoto's all-too-familiar aura, pulling Ichigo out of his reverie. Yamamoto had seemingly given him time to gaze in wonder at the forest around them. He considered just how he ended up here, so far away from his friends, accompanied only by a man that had probably considered killing him not many days ago.
Maybe this was a poor decision. He resolved to reflect on how exactly he ended up here later; now, the knowledge that he was so far from help made him much too nervous for any degree of introspection.
Even Zangetsu seemed nervous at the idea of spending time with the head captain, though the proud spirit denied the accusation.
Then again, if Yamamoto wanted to kill him, the captain commander could, and would, have done so publicly. The thought was oddly comforting.
"Are you coming in?"
Ichigo suppressed his surprise, though, by the knowing look in Yamamoto's eyes, he might not have succeeded entirely. He gingerly followed the older man inside, leaving his shoes by the door in favor of the provided slippers, and followed the commander through what could only be the Yamamoto estate. It wasn't a surprise, in hindsight, that the captain commander was so affluent, even if his tastes seemed to be more spartan than the size of the manor would otherwise suggest.
He was grateful at this point that, despite his father's flaws, and he had many, Goat-Chin had insisted he learn how to conduct himself during a tea ceremony; Yamamoto was unmistakably a traditionalist.
Ichigo's fears had diminished by now, though he was undoubtedly still nervous. Choosing to ignore the sensation, Ichigo instead focused on the garden they had just entered. A path of hewn stone threaded through manicured trees and mossy rocks surrounding a pond, so still, he could see the clouds above and the koi below. The flowers, strangely all in bloom, provided a contrast to the verdant greens and soft browns that otherwise predominated, all while the sounds and scents of nature created a garden so calm Ichigo was sure it had no equal back home.
As the trees outside radiated majesty, this garden held only serenity.
Entranced, Ichigo almost missed the lantern and stone basin outside what could only be a pavilion-style tea room consisting of pillars and a single wall supporting a low roof. The architect discarded the remaining walls in favor of the tranquil garden around them.
Ichigo inspected the largely traditional tea room. A low table contained the selected equipment for the preparation. The one wall held an alcove with an ornate katana and a scroll depicting what Ichigo recognized as kendo forms above a phrase written in elegant calligraphy. The break from the traditional flowers was unexpected, though Ichigo supposed that the sheathed blade might very well be calming to a soul reaper. Perhaps it was a quirk of how the soul society diverged from the original Japanese tradition. That, or the head captain decided he preferred such a ceremony, and so he did as he desired.
Ichigo bowed and complimented the decorations, relieved that his part of the ceremony at least remained unchanged. He was also thankful that the commander seemed content with an abbreviated ceremony; he was not used to the longer forms.
As he finished his tea, turning the bowl back to his host, the Commander spoke for the first time since they had left his office.
"Do you know why I cannot let you return to the mundane world?"
Ichigo pondered his response, and Yamamoto seemed content to let him do so.
"You said I was dead. That I had lost the right to be in the mortal world." Ichigo failed to keep the despair from his voice.
"You are dead, as am I. Is that such a tragedy?"
"If I lose my family, it very much is." This time he did not attempt to suppress his feelings of lingering anger and loss.
"I did not say you lost your family, just entry to the mortal world"
Ichigo stared at the commander, begging him to continue.
"I do not intend to cut you off from your family or your friends, nor do I intend to prevent you from ever seeing them again. There are many ways by which you may communicate, and in time, visit them."
Here the commander drew in breath, continuing with a tone of absolute resolve.
"I do intend to prevent you from inadvertently damaging the material plane or the balance of the great cycle. Did you know that when we send captains, lieutenants, or our stronger seated officers to the material world, they are each sealed?"
Ichigo nodded, recalling Renji's words of only having twenty percent of his power when they had first fought.
"It has been 600 years since a Vasto-Lorde class hollow last encroached on the mortal world. The greatest of the menos, a threat that could fell many captains, Vasto-Lorde hollows stand above all other hollows and combine the all-consuming hunger of a hollow, the spiritual power of a captain, and the wicked insight of a depraved mind." Here Yamamoto looked consideringly at Ichigo. "You have fought a menos grande before, a Gillian. Of the elite hollows, they are the disposable shock troops. They hunt in packs. Gillians are to a Vasto-Lorde what the lowest seated shinigami is to a captain. And we have been able to keep them away from otherwise defenseless mortals and rank and file reapers, simply through restraint."
"We first noticed that the strongest hollows only entered the mortal world in pursuit of the strongest shinigami. A normal soul, human or shinigami, provides too little substance to a being of such power, to the extent that it would take hunting thousands of souls to be worth it compared to simply preying on other hollows of similar power. Why hunt thousands of ants when you can find more nourishment from a single adjucha class back in Hueco Mundo? But when captains entered the battlefield, the equation changed. Suddenly the decision was not a thousand crumbs against a loaf of bread, but a loaf of bread compared to a banquet of power"
"When we deployed captains to the mortal world, tides of hollows followed in their wake. This seal is not to, as Kenpachi would say, keep things interesting. Not at all, for the unsuppressed reiatsu of a captain is more enticing than any hollow bait. The seal keeps the powerful hollows away from the living and dead alike"
At this point, Yamamoto anticipated Ichigo's apparent request.
"And yet, for you, who has the reiatsu of a captain and the control of a newborn, no seal could prevent an incursion without first cutting off your powers completely."
Ichigo felt vaguely offended as Yamamoto continued.
"The other danger is more subtle but just as poignant. You risk empowering mortals with abilities they should not possess. Your friends, Mr. Yasutora and Ms. Inoue are proof of this possibility. From what I have gathered, you empowered them through proximity alone. It was fortunate indeed that you knew them already. What happens when you empower someone you cannot trust, or if a friend changes with time and turns their abilities towards a malicious cause? Or against other mortals? Most mortals cannot even perceive the spiritual, much less defend against it. It is for the well-being of all that spiritual powers stay out of mortal hands."
"And you recklessly empowered your friends while possessing the Reiryokyu of a low ranked seated officer. Compared to that time, your reiatsu has advanced, and your already paltry control has not kept up."
Ichigo felt both proud of his reserves and offended at the continued disparagement of his control.
"No traditional captain reaches his rank without at least partial mastery of their reiatsu. Mastery to the extent that they can fight at full power and keep their aura restrained even in battle. Control to the degree that any release of their aura is intentional and measured."
"Your control might as well not exist. Your emotions are visible in your aura, and it flickers with your idle thoughts. When annoyed or upset, you release the full weight of your energy with no attempt at tempering the intensity or affected area. Even Kenpachi has better control, and he is little more than a barbarian. In short, your control is dreadful."
Zangetsu's complete agreement with Yamamoto's words was the only reason Ichigo did not retort, though it was a near thing.
"... Good, you can be patient and control that temper when it suits you. That bodes well for your future."
Yamamoto smiled slightly at Ichigo's murderous expression before circling back to the original point.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, when you learn control of your reiatsu appropriate to your power, I will allow you to visit your family for short amounts of time, increasing alongside your control. Until then, you will rely on indirect communication channels, those of voice and image, to communicate."
Relief replaced fury, his earlier annoyance forgotten.
"Now, do you know why I am telling you this and not assigning you to a lower officer? My time is a valuable thing. I do not always explain my decisions to my subordinates."
"I.., well, I do not know."
"You did not think I took you to my home because I think you are a lost cause, did you? No. Ichigo, you are only taking the first steps of your journey as a shinigami, and yet you have reached heights few dare tread, and fewer still surpass. Your Zanpakto's compression ability lets you fight those stronger than you and achieve victory. In many ways, your potential is greater than any, but you are held back in even more meaningful ways from achieving all that you could be."
Zangetsu's attention to the captain commander's words was sharper even than Ichigo's.
"You have reached too far and taken a shortcut to attain your ban release when most captains take centuries of careful meditation. Your foundation, Ichigo, is unstable. You have built the tower of your ability in a bed of quicksand, and without reinforcement, it will collapse and leave you broken, powerless."
Ichigo swallowed at the rebuke and conveniently pretended he had never actually lost control during his fight with Byakuya. "It is difficult, but my Bankai is not unstable." Ichigo's words rang hollow even in his ears as memories of masks and madness eroded his confidence.
"Do you think the tallest trees lack strong roots? You may build high, but such power is a brittle thing. A tree without roots may stand tall without an adversary but fall to a gentle summer breeze. But a tree that first lays its foundation, a tree that's roots are strong and deep; such a tree will weather the mightiest hurricanes."
Ichigo nodded. He had taken a shortcut, and he had lost control. He could not regret that decision, taken so that he might save Rukia, but he could at least acknowledge that there may be some drawbacks to the method.
Yamamoto paused and looked deeply at Ichigo. Ichigo suddenly knew his answer before Yamamoto even asked the question.
"Ichigo Kurosaki, I would see you flourish. Are you willing to do so?"
Notes:
Chapter 3 of 5 this week. I plan to release the others on Friday and Saturday as well.
I tried to slow this one down compared to the last two. Yamamoto is testing Ichigo's patience, thus the tea ceremony (by my research, they can take up to four hours, even for the abbreviated forms.)
As for the tree from halfway through the chapter, those are entirely non-fictional. Lookup California Redwoods if you don't believe me, they really are amazing, even from your internet browser.