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Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

Obito stood at the start of the corridor and glared. Kakashi stood at the other end, arms crossed and staring back. It was a stalemate that he didn't want to break. It was break and he wanted to go and slack off, but annoyingly Kakashi was waiting for him to come over and do some kind of awful thing for his amusement.

He wouldn't refuse outright to do something but if he could avoid doing anything by not moving then he would. Kakashi was the first to get fed up and walked over with Obito inwardly cursing. His plan had been foiled.

"Have you forgotten how to walk?"

"I was thinking about something."

"And it took up so much of your brain power you couldn't walk?" Obito clenched his jaw. He couldn't deal with Kakashi still. All he could do was hope he'd get used to the insults and learn to ignore him.

"Just tell me what you want so we can get this over with."

"Follow me." Kakashi lead him to the toilets. Obito wasn't best pleased about this and stayed far away. "What are you doing now?"

"I'm not sucking you off so don't even think about it." Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"As if I'd ask you. Although it might be a good way of shutting you up." Satisfied he wasn't going to be violated he stepped a little closer.

"What do you want then?" This prick is going to ask me to clean the toilet before he uses it probably. Or to wipe his ass. He shuddered at the imagery.

"Stand in front of the door and stop anyone coming in while I'm in here."

"…You want me to guard a public toilet?"

"Pretty much. Not too hard for you."

"Why? Are you embarrassed about people hearing you shit? Just run a tap or something."

"Stop bitching and do it."

"Fine!" He slammed the door shut when Kakashi had walked in and leant against it pouting. A couple of younger students stared and he growled. "Move on brats."

It was a little satisfying to watch them half run down the hall. They were only small so they didn't think to fight against him. Another boy went to walk in and he stepped in front of him.

"Find somewhere else, my friend's having a shit in there." The guy grimaced and walked away.

"What kind of crap are you spouting?" Kakashi had reappeared and he wasn't best pleased.

"I didn't know what you were doing in there."

"I needed to check something in the mirror with my mask off."

"You could've just told me that!"

"You would've tried to sneak in and look."

"…Screw you." Kakashi could predict him too well. "Are we finished here yet?"

"I suppose. Just remember we're doing the usual at lunch."

"Goddammit! It's humiliating!"

"You better hope that no one else sees you then."

"Asshole." Obito waited until the other boy was looking away and pretended to shoot at him.

"I've also got an idea for work that I think you'll enjoy." It was the glint in his eye that sent chills down his spine.

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see…" I am not going to like this.

Lunchtime was just as bad except this time he was being threatened with a gag on top of everything else.

"Oh come on!" He already couldn't see so he knew this could be sprung on him at any time.

"If you don't want that to happen then you'll learn to shut the hell up." Obito sighed and attempted to give Kakashi the middle finger with his hands still on the ground. From the lack of reaction it was obvious it hadn't worked but it made him feel a little better.

Tomorrow I'm just gonna bring one of those stupid beach chairs. If he had one of those then there was no excuse Kakashi could give. When he felt the weight leave his back he leapt up and pulled off the blindfold.

"You're so sensitive." Ibiki had never hidden his scars so he couldn't understand why anyone would want to hide their face away.

"You know nothing so don't bother." He was still adjusting the mask.

"Yeah yeah. Anymore bullshit?"

"Hmm…" It almost seemed as if he had something. "You know what? You can wait until work."

"…Ok what's going on?" Now he was scared. If he was being let off now then it had to be something bad.

"You'll see." Kakashi strolled off with a skip in his step. When Obito finally got to his group of friends he looked miserable.

"What happened now?" Anko was getting out her camera already.

"Don't you dare! And Kakashi was being an asshole as per usual."

"You guys just need to kiss and make up." She was fluttering her eyelids.

"Shut up!" He was pulled to the side by Rin.

"Well?"

"Need something?" She prodded him in the ribs.

"Did you talk to Kakashi?"

"Yes…" Ok, think of a good excuse.

"And? What do you think?"

"Well he said he was single… And I don't think he has anyone he likes either." This was technically true.

"So should I ask?"

"I don't know! All I did was ask if he was single, the rest is up to you." And that bastard keeping his end of the deal.

"I suppose. Thanks Obito, you're a good friend."

"Oh I know." God, I'm an asshole. He tried to rid himself of the guilt by stuffing his face. Luckily he never lost his appetite in these situations.

"Finished kissing his ass yet?"

"I'm not kissing his ass, we're hanging out."

"I thought you hated his guts?"

"I do but I have to put up with him at work."

"Doesn't mean you have to follow him around outside of work." Anko wasn't making his life any easier.

"If I don't do things for him occasionally then he'll be a dick to me later. You guys obviously have no idea how the word works."

"Which is?"

"Sometimes you have to put up with assholes."

-Page Break-

When he walked into work that night he was fully prepared for war. He had a crotch protector and the goggles Itachi bought him for Christmas on. There were also gloves in his bag in case of more disgusting cleaning. After getting himself hyped up it was a bit of an anti-climax when he found someone completely different sitting behind the counter.

"Err…" This had thrown him a little. The boy with shaggy black hair who seemed to be playing with a lighter grinned.

"Hey."

"Hi…?" Although he seemed vaguely familiar he couldn't quite place him.

"Something came up so Kakashi won't be in."

"That's… bad?" Inwardly he was doing some kind of victory dance.

"You don't know who I am right?" The guy didn't seem offended, more amused.

"…Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. I'm Asuma Sarutobi, Hiruzens son."

"Oh! Hi!" Why does that name sound so familiar?

"And I sit behind you in English."

"Oh…" Why can't I remember anyone? He felt better about Kakashi since they weren't anywhere near each other normally but Asuma had shared classes with him. Obito could vaguely remember talking to the guy a few times too. "Sorry I suck at remembering."

"We've never sat next to each other or anything. And you're usually doing things with that Anko girl anyway."

"I'm guessing we're kind of annoying to sit near." They had in the past week started a paper fight, nearly broken their legs wrestling under the table and tipped the table over trying to grab his phone.

"You guys are hilarious. Especially when you hold up the lessons."

"I know who you are!" This sudden remembrance was pretty exciting to Obito. It rarely happened. "You're Kurenais boyfriend!" This was the girl who Rin sometimes spoke to in her classes.

"That's me." They boy flicked the lighter on a few times with a bored expression on his face. "Could you hold down the fort a minute? I need a smoke."

"Sure?" It seemed weird to see someone his age smoking but he wasn't going to say anything. The guy hadn't commented that he was wearing goggles and that was a pretty weird thing to be doing.

"Could you not tell my dad by the way? He thinks I quit." He could hear him shouting it from out the back.

"Ok!" This guy was so far way better than Kakashi. Normal conversation and he wasn't acting like a pretentious dick. When he returned smelling strongly of cigarette smoke Obito decided he should be taking advantage of this situation.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Asuma seemed like a laid back guy so he didn't think he'd be too bothered by the question.

"Why is Kakashi such a dick?" It had to be asked after all. The other boy chuckled.

"Yeah he is a bit of a dick sometimes."

"He's always a dick to me."

"Probably because he's not used to you. He doesn't like people that much."

"That's no excuse to be an emotionally blackmailing prick."

"What did he do?"

"…Promise you won't tell anyone?" He shouldn't be telling a stranger but he seemed friendly enough.

"I don't gossip."

"He keeps making me do stupid crap like getting food for him and guarding the toilet! He's so damn annoying!" He didn't want to say the whole truth but it was pretty great to complain all the same. Especially as this guy acknowledged that Kakashi was an asshole.

"Yeah that sounds like something he would do." Asuma was eyeing the cigarette packet on the desk again.

"Why isn't he here anyway? I got ready for war and he didn't even show up." It sounded like he was planning on screwing with him further so this was just weird.

"Probably his dad again."

"His dad?" For some reason he couldn't imagine Kakashi with parents. He seemed more like a robot or a member of an alien species that just appeared into being.

"It's only him and Kakashi and the guy can be a bit… drunk."

"Oh…"

"It's not exactly common knowledge though."

"I guessed."

"He gets a bit weird sometimes though and so Kakashi usually has to sort him out. He used to be friends with dad so that's why Kakashi works here."

"I guess that explains things…" The boy was a dick but if he was going through a lot of crap it made sense.

"I thought I'd tell you since you seem to be a friend of his." Obito nearly fell off his seat.

"Friend? He can't stand me!"

"Really?" It seemed Asuma was an idiot as he seemed genuinely surprised at this. "He talks about you a lot."

"Eh?" This was weird. "I bet it's all insults."

"Not true. He said you were more intelligent than the average dog the other day."

"…I'm gonna kill him." He should've known that he'd be saying that kind of thing to all his friends.

"You should be pleased, he's normally never that nice."

"That counts as nice?"

"Usually he refers to people as backwards and inbred so that's a pretty big step up."

"Oh. Well that's nice." How does this guy have friends? "Why are you friends with him?"

"I get that a lot. We've known each other since we were kids." Obito tried and failed to imagine Kakashi as a child. "He used to be a bit… happier I guess? Then stuff happened and he became more like he is now. I'll let him tell you about that."

"…Thanks for telling me."

"Thanks for being friends with Kakashi. I think he needs it." Obito raised an eyebrow but Asuma had already left for another cigarette break. Kakashi didn't seem like he needed anyone least of all someone he hated.

People are so complicated…