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Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

"…Whatever you're thinking, stop it." Obito nearly jumped. He'd been so sure that Kakashi couldn't see him.

"I wasn't thinking anything!" Creepy Bakakashi.

"Well that sounds just like usual." Kakashi snorted at him.

"Screw you." The insults were bad enough but he had also failed at his mission. Obito had hoped he would be able to pull the mask off before he noticed but it seemed that Kakashi was some kind of creepy ninja.

"Just sit down." Obito dropped onto the seat next to Kakashi with a sigh.

"Where were you today?" He'd been expecting a Kakashi to bother him all day but the boy had been nowhere to be seen.

"I felt like a day off." Kakashi didn't even look up from his book.

"So you just skipped school?"

"And?"

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"Calm down. As if you're such a great student anyway."

"Maybe not, but…" Despite his extreme laziness he was still too good to skive. Although he didn't have such qualms about pissing off his teachers.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I can think of plenty of things for you to do while we're at work."

"Well thank you." Jerk. There was only one plus side to this and that was that he was over halfway through this bullcrap now. Not to mention the fact that after tomorrow it would be the weekend. Saturday would involve a couple of hours of work but he doubted that Kakashi would seek him out on their day off.

Obito gazed around the shop at the shelves of pasta sauce and chocolate bars. It was a pretty boring shop. Even the magazines were-. Obito stopped. Right at the top were a few of the different 'specialty' magazines. Despite his weirdness he was a typical teenage boy in some ways and he did need to get his stuff from somewhere. The family computer was located in the hallway where anyone could see it and so he relied on his imagination backed up by… extra sources. He stood up and ambled round the counter towards the magazines.

I can't believe I never noticed! It's probably Kakashis fault. After a quick glance to make sure there were no customers around, he reached up to grab the most promising looking one.

"What are you doing now?" He froze. Kakashi was staring at him with a deadpan expression.

"Just rearranging the magazines." He made a show of adjusting a few of them whilst inwardly cursing Kakashi.

"Those things are filled with fake looking women anyway. But if you really want it you'll have to buy it."

"What?! You're not gonna stop me?"

"I don't care that much. If you're so sad that you need that crap to get off on then I'm not gonna judge you for it." …Of course you aren't. Obito couldn't be bothered with even looking at it now. He sat back down in the seat feeling dejected. "Changed your mind?"

"Just shut the hell up!" It wasn't like he could have bought it home with him anyway. His cousins would definitely find it and although Itachi would never drop him in it, Sasuke would probably run around the house full speed with it. Aunt Mikoto was still pissed at him about the last time he'd had one of those magazines. That had been mainly Anko so he'd gotten off lightly but the hour lecture on the objectification of women had put him off.

"If you want that kind of thing why don't you ask your friend Rin to help you?"

"Don't talk about Rin like that!" He was still angry that his friend was upset so he didn't need any more provocation involving her.

"You're the one that thinks she's so great."

"Lots of guys like Rin, you're just an asshole."

"Maybe I just have different tastes."

"Christ, what do you like? I heard you turned down that Mabui girl as well! And she's really cute!"

"I hate girly girls."

"…So you're more of an Anko kind of guy?"

"No one would be that desperate."

"Ibiki likes her." Though Anko was getting good at putting him off. She never returned any of his flirting but would be pissed at him if he didn't do it one day.

"He's a masochist though, isn't he?"

"…Yeah probably." Few people would constantly confess to a girl who kept putting them down unless they had at least masochistic tendencies. "So… Have you ever liked anyone?"

"Not that I can think of."

"Really?" This was a weird thought. Obito had never fallen madly in love but he did consider most of the girls he met. Obito stood up and walked over to the magazine rack, grabbing the magazine from earlier.

"You better be planning on paying for that." He ignored Kakashi and slammed it down on the counter.

"Right, look through and pick one."

"This isn't a catalogue."

"I know! I mean pick one you find attractive!"

"Why?"

"Just because!" Kakashi sighed and started leafing through it with a bored expression on his face. He wasn't sure why this bothered him so much. It was probably indignation on behalf of Rin.

"Nothing going." Kakashi dropped the magazine.

"None of them?"

"Well they are all pretty trashy."

"Ok so that one is a bit cheap… But don't you think any of them could be attractive?"

"Why is this such a big thing for you?"

"Because I wanted to know what you did like if you didn't like Rin."

"Oh. Well definitely not any of those." Kakashi went back to his book. He could feel Obitos glare on the side of his head. "What's your type then?"

"Mine?"

"You want to know what I like, so you should tell me your type."

"Girls that are cute, obviously." This wasn't exactly a hard question.

"That's a pretty ambiguous statement. Do their personalities not matter then?"

"Of course they have to be nice too."

"Most cute girls are complete bitches."

"…I wish I could say you were wrong." He had been viciously shoved to the side by an incredibly cute girl who was after one of the guys in their class. The sudden personality change had been creepy to say the least.

"It is kind of sad that you would willingly be with any girl."

"I wouldn't be with just any girl!" Obito looked greatly offended.

"Just any girl that likes you?"

"Hey, if you were me you'd be exactly the same. I don't get girls throwing themselves at me like you."

"That isn't great either." Obito couldn't understand this way of thinking.

"Hi Obito!"

"Gah!" He hadn't been aware that anyone had entered the shop so having Anko suddenly pop out from behind the other side of the counter was shocking to say the least. "When did you get here?"

"They army crawled in about five minutes ago. I'm surprised you didn't notice." Of course Kakashi would've known.

"'They'?" Ibiki was stood behind Anko and waving at him. "Why are you guys here?"

"We wanted to visit you at work! We could've come earlier if you'd actually told us where it was."

"I didn't want you guys bringing your weirdness here. How did you find here anyway?" He'd never told them and he knew they had never talked to Kakashi either.

"I stuck a tracking app on your phone." Ibiki held up his phone to reveal a map with a small red dot on it.

"Where the hell did you find that?"

"It was on that TV show about cheating husbands."

"…" It was hard not to worry about Ibiki. You never knew what went on in his head.

"Ooh, nice spread." It was pretty obvious that Anko had no shame. This explained why she was able to pick up the magazine and stare at the girl on the page in public.

"Put that down!" He didn't want Hiruzen to come and see them all crowded around a trashy magazine.

"You were the one who got it out in the first place." Kakashi was an absolute asshole.

"Oh Obi, you don't have to be repressed around us!"

"Screw you all!" He snatched it from her hand and stormed over to put it back.

"Aww, he's so shy." Anko was blowing kisses at him across the shop.

"Better than having no shame."

"I'm happy so who cares?" She then grabbed a few family sized chocolate bars. "I'll have those. Pay up Ibiki."

"Ok." The fool was so willing to be used.

"Why do you need three?"

"One to replenish the emergency heartbreak supply, one for tonight and one for my new lack of internet emergency supply."

"'Lack of internet'?"

"It's really boring. And Ibiki pointed out I was lacking any kind of plan for that so I thought I'd start now."

"Right…" He was still surprised that she wasn't fat with the amount of crap that she could eat.

"Yosh, see you later dickweed."

"Later bitchface."

"You are such loving friends."

"Better than all that creepy nice stuff." He shuddered. A glance at the clock revealed that he only had half an hour left of work. "Why were we actually hired? No one comes in here."

"Because it's an old family business. It's mostly old people during the day so we wouldn't see much on our shift."

"But why two of us? You could work alone."

"He likes us to work in pairs in case of robberies etc. It's always been like that."

"I thought you liked to work alone." He'd been clearly pissed off at having a co-worker on the first day.

"If you're paying attention I can read my books. And send you on food runs." …So I'm basically his errand boy.

"Who else works here anyway? Other than Asuma and girlfriend."

"I don't know many. I know there's a Sasori guy during the day. And a Deidara. I only know about him because of all the notes."

"Notes?" He'd never seen any notes before. Wordlessly Kakashi reached under the counter and bought out a small pile of post-its. The first one had in large letters; 'Get a girlfriend you pervert'. "What's all this?"

"He stuck that one on one of those magazines. He sticks them around everywhere because he's a dick."

"Oh… How does he get away with that?"

"Not a clue. I've never met him and I don't want to."

"What a surprise." Some of the other notes were pretty funny. He'd even drawn a few caricatures of some of the customers and even Asuma and Hiruzen.

"Hey guys!" Obito flinched and quickly threw the post-its under the counter as he heard Hiruzen coming down the stairs out back. He peered out from behind the counter and smiled. "The shift's over so you can go now." It was with great relief that they escaped the shop of boredom.

"Why are you following me?"

"I'm not following you! My house is this way!" Normally Kakashi left later than him so they weren't used to walking out together.

"Can't you at least walk on the other side of the road?"

"Not for you!" He didn't like this anymore than Kakashi did but he wasn't going to be the one to move. They walked in stony silence for a good ten minutes before Obito could escape down a side road.

Ugh. Thank god that's over. Now he could go back to his nice house where he could sit back and relax.

"Obi! The computer's broken!" Sasuke yelled at him as soon as he came in the door.

"You probably just opened too much crap again." This was a bit annoying but easily fixed.

"Obito? Could you sort out the washing later?"

"What?"

"I need to go out! You'll need to watch Sasuke too actually." His aunt Mikoto was somewhere upstairs so he didn't see him pretending to shoot himself. That was his nice evening in ruined.