I was inspired to make this by the fanfic Warhammer 40K: Meet the Gods by TheBadPanda. If you haven't already please look up and read the story. This is like an unofficial continuation where the OC meets the Emperor and asks a question the man has probably heard over a thousand times already.

"Ah, there you are, I was wondering when you would finally move into the throne room proper… Yes, you are actually hearing me, I am reaching out psychically to connect with your mind and communicate. You won't need that text-to-speech device you brought, that isn't supposed to come into play here until sometime later, or is this the wrong fan cannon...? Just put it on the floor and I will have a tech-priest come by to pick it up later just in case..."

"Of course I knew you were coming, why do you think none of my Custodians were in front of the Webway gate? ...Yes, you were clever in thinking that the best way to get to me was by entering in from my failed Webway project. However, you clearly didn't factor in that it would be watched not just by demons probing it but by Custodians and Sisters of Silence keeping an eye out for said demons."

"I felt your presence in the warp closing in on the gate and made a distraction to lure the guards away and let down my shield over the gate just as you were stepping through. Now don't get me wrong, your infiltration skills and sheer will are nothing to scoff at. Like if you told me you were personally trained in infiltration tactics from birth by Illic Nightspear I would be inclined to take you at your word seeing as how you managed to infiltrate the Brass Citadel and evade all its defenses to reach Khorne just for an interview."

"...Do not get cocky on me now, that's probably why you almost walked into several Custodians and nearly got blasted like Ollanius Pius but with a hail of bolter rounds instead of psychic shenanigans. You have been the talk of Space Book ever since you visited Tzeentch. He won't shut up about how you visiting him was totally planned and not a completely out of the blue thing that took him by surprise like it did Khorne and Slaanesh. Speaking of which, why are you even doing this in the first place? You've been to so many places where great warriors have fallen either in force or by their will breaking just to interview the various chaos gods. Why?"

"...To write a book on the Gods of our galaxy? Then why did you come all the way out here? For your information, I am no God and never have been. To include me in this book is unfactual at best... So you think that my input would still be important enough to include? If you are attempting to seduce me with flattery then you are well on your way to success."

"But fret not because I have already decided to give you a moment of my time to speak. Otherwise, you would not be here, now you came here to interview my glorious self so get on with it. Maintaining this psychic link is a lot harder than you think."

"...Why do I hate religion? Yes, I was expecting our conversation to revolve around this topic." The emperor's psychic presence hummed for a moment as he tried to push through the pain of holding this conversation and speak. "Let me get this out of the way, I don't hate religion because I think nothing good comes from it. Far from it, the spiritual understanding one can gain from devoting themselves to a set of rules and the benefits to society from having a safe place where the community can congregate and interact is beneficial."

"The primary reasons, yes plural, is that for the vast majority of people religion turns them into a self-righteous lunatic who kills others because of a self-interpretation of a book some guy wrote while high on mushrooms. It easily creates an us versus them mentality that causes people to draw idiotic lines on the ground and spill one another's blood over it. It makes people dependent on a 'higher' authority to where if they lose faith in or guidance from it they become lost and societies have fallen apart over less."

"Look to the Eldar for an extreme example of this, they were once masters of the known universe. With their god, they were able to reach a new understanding about themselves and ruled the galaxy. Yet, when their gods left them it was nothing but a steady decline from there. They had grown so accustomed to their pantheon telling them what to do, once they were gone everything steadily fell into decadence until they birthed Slaanesh and doomed their empire and majority of their race."

"Blind faith in something that seems divine is a foolhardy measure to secure yourself. All it does is create stubborn men and women unable to move past their narrow-minded view of the world. Look than the Mechanics. They haven't done much to update the Imperium's tech in several millennia because they think man's inventions must remain in some 'pure' design."

"What about the Adeptus Sororitas? Sure parts of my soul have been able to reach out and empower them into great feats of badassery but does that really justify all the innocent river dolphins that have burned at the stake for being slightly different than a seafaring one?"

"Why mankind insists on worshipping anything when I made it extremely clear that it's not what I wanted is far beyond my understanding."

"...Perhaps mankind just needs something to believe in?" While the Emperor was a skeleton his tone of voice more than conveyed his disdain for the mere notion. Then ramped up into frustration. "Spare me the spiel! You're starting to remind me of a certain priest I met on Terra a couple millennia ago. He did come to see religion as foolish but still decided to walk into his burning church for some obscene reason."

A silence quickly stretched on between the two, with the steady hum of the golden throne and its various fluids rushing through the pipes filling the room. It was finally broken when the Emperor sighed or at least did the physic equivalent fo sighing.

"Here is a question I will pose to you. Are you aware of how I came to be?"

"…Yes, the combination of many ancient human shamans. Good, I don't have to waste time explaining that part to you. Then you know that I am the pinnacle of what mankind can achieve, our potential grasped by taking a shortcut, and so are the Astartes, Custodians, Primarchs, all are various stages of human potential achieved with the power of science. So, knowing all this tells me..."

"Why is mankind willing to believe in anything except itself?"

"…"

"…"

"…I expected more from someone trying to make a book about the 'gods' of our galaxy." Frustration boiled over into sheer disappointment. "The stars on the planets they inhabit, a man who meditates under a tree, a being of immense power, a rock that was hit by a bolt of lightning. Mankind will place its faith and future into such things but never in themselves. It has so much raw potential yet is always wasting its time on petty squabbles, even my own sons were not immune to the primary flaw of humanity."

"…Because they need to believe in something 'greater' than themselves. I would call my companions in here to smack some sense into you if I couldn't see that you are merely trying to engage in me philosophically."

"How many space marines exist in the galaxy? Yes, over a million, how many battle sisters? Yes, a few million scattered around. Now how many guardsmen exist… Yes, countless trillions upon trillions in a universe-spanning Imperium encompassing a million worlds give or take a few."

"How can a million marines divided into a thousand or so chapters have any significant presence? How can a few million sisters scattered in the tens of thousands bring their might to bear everywhere in a segmentum? How can a few thousand titans possibly affect the outcome of hundreds of thousands of consistent wars? How can the Custodians, if unleashed, could change the fate of the Imperium when there are so few?"

"...The true answer is: They cannot. It's unrealistic to even consider their presence as being anything other than localized. Instead, it is the regular mortal human that faces the brunt of the demonic hordes, keeps the tide of Greenskins in check, and battles off the Dark Eldar raiders from their homeworlds. The ones who die in the billions for each and every minor and major war have to fight or wage. The ones who supply and arm the superhumans with their fancy equipment. The ones who have become the wall that the enemies of the Imperium bloody themselves on each and every day, hour, minute, and second."

"The mortal humans that get scoffed at by every major power in the galaxy. Yet stands their ground and holds the tide better than they ever could. We lack the natural advantages of many other races yet have pretty much exterminated almost all of them throughout innovative minds, indomitable wills, and sheer might. So why is mankind so unable to just believe in their own will and spirit?"

"So why does mankind feel as if they have to attribute its accomplishments to a 'higher' power when it is already so capable? Does everybody seriously think I can be on every battlefield of every world guiding every las and bolter round? That the vast majority of success is because someone rose to the moment and did something incredible and not because I or any other 'diety' gave them the strength to do it?"

"Can they not see the enormous potential they have…?"

"Is the vast majority of humanity simply incapable of seeing me as being an achievable goal for them all to aspire to and instead only as a larger-than-life diety they can barely fathom...?"

"...Fret not if you cannot answer, I have been on this throne for ten thousand years unable to find an answer either..." The psychic emanations of the Emperor faded for a moment before rushing back into his visitor's mind. "We're out of time, a few sisters of silence have felt my psychic movements and through my custodians, I have found them trying to investigate."

"...Yes I can cause the same diversion, you need to book it back through the Webway gate and to the safety of the Warp..." He paused for a moment before adding. "Well safely away from my guards, that is, you are going back into the Warp after all… Also, take this."

A golden glow appeared before the visitor as an object materialized before them.

"...Yes it is a harlequin mask, I figured you're going to try and visit Cegorach at some point, and if so you may need some assistance. This mask will convert any words spoken into Eldar speak, it is not perfect but is going to be better than nothing… You're welcome by the way."

"Also one more thing. When you move to have your book published you will add a disclaimer that I am not a god and never was along with a free manuscript of the Imperial Truth. Or I will have the book banned from the Imperium, any publishers converted into servitors, and you arrested and sent to a penal legion on a feudal world specializing in cleaning out cesspits."

"…How do I plan to do all that when I'm stuck on this chair?" The steady hum grew in intensity and the visor over the Emperor's eye turned from red to shining gold. The visitor had to avert his eyes soon after as a blinding vision of a massive man sat upon the throne took the place of the meek skeleton turned into a titan of golden armor. The light-emitting from the crown alone was enough to blind anybody foolish enough to stare for too long.

"I am the motherfucking Emperor."

"Do not doubt that I cannot or will not find a way…" There was a brief nod from the visitor's head and as the light came, it abruptly disappeared, allowing them to reopen their eyes. "Perfect I am glad we were able to reach an understanding… what do you mean by 'and he wonders why people think he's a god'…?"

"You must go now, pretty much everybody in this part of the palace felt that and my companions are already mobilizing to investigate. You will have mere seconds at most to bolt it to the Webway gate at this rate… Yes, it was a nice change of pace to meet someone interested in growing their knowledge bank. Better than the religious lunatics for certain and I hope to do this again sometime when you're not at risk of being erased. Now go."