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Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

For not the first time, Obito looked at himself in the mirror and groaned. He had been doing this constantly since yesterday. It was hard to look at himself right now; because that had been such a strange and stupid thing to do.

I'm not interested in Kakashi! I don't want to lead him on! Why did I do that? It had been at best stupid and at worst cruel. He could hurt the poor guy when Kakashi could be getting over it and moving on with someone else. I'm a shitty friend… And a shitty human being!

"GAAAAAH!" He let out a loud roar that echoed down the corridors and through the house. Downstairs, Fugaku paused in bringing the coffee cup to his lips and listened.

"Is something wrong with Obito?"

"Everything," said Sasuke from the end of the table.

"Don't be a jerk." Mikoto tapped him on the head. "He's just having romantic issues."

"I see…" Fugaku wasn't the best at those kind of personal problems. "I assume you can deal with it."

"He'll be fine. It's something he needs to work out on his own."

"Someone likes Obito?" Sasuke had a surprised look on his face. Itachi was the one who slapped him this time.

"Don't be rude."

"Mum! Itachi hit me!"

"Sasuke, don't tell tales. Itachi, let me do the slapping please."

"Yes mother." Sasuke said nothing and just rubbed the back of his head.

When Obito finally appeared, he looked like a zombie. He grunted in reply to any questions asked and didn't notice when Sasuke piled toast on his head. No one tried to stop him. The whole family watched as a tower of toast grew on Obito's head.

"Are you ok Obito?"

"Hn."

"Anything fun happen at school recently?"

"Hn." Mikoto and Fugaku made eye contact. It seemed this was serious.

"How was work?" This question appeared to sink in.

"GAAH! Oh my god, why?!" And after this little outburst, he slammed his face down onto the table, covering himself in butter and marmalade from the toast.

"I think we can all agree that it was work-related," announced Itachi.

"Agreed." Mikoto nodded solemnly. "Obito?" He looked up, a pitiful expression and pieces of toast sticking to his cheeks.

"Why do I suck?"

"Did something happen?"

"…I'm a horrible person…" He stood up and drifted out of the room.

"…Well."

"Is he going to go to school with toast on his face?"

"Most definitely." It was clear to them all; something was seriously wrong with Obito.

-Page Break-

Obito barely noticed the snickers of passers-by as he made his way through the hallway in the throngs of students hurrying to their form rooms. His brain had been looping the last few moments from work last night constantly and each time he sighed. Answers were not forthcoming.

The main thing worrying him was Rin. He was going to struggle to face her, knowing what he had done. She was sitting and chatting to another guy when he walked in and aimed a smile in his direction. A smile that widened when she noticed his facial decorations. He just looked away and hurried to sit next to Anko.

"So I can see you lost the great battle of the breakfast table." His zombified gaze moved to Anko.

"What?"

"Your face is covered with bits of toast. And it's sticky." He put his hand up to confirm that he did indeed have a face covered in food.

"Perfect…" He slammed his face onto his desk. Compared to the embarrassment of yesterday, this was nothing.

"Problem?" Obito was actually startled into looking up.

"You actually care?" This earnt him a flick on the end of his nose. "Ow!"

"I'm not that heartless!"

"…You kind of are."

"I'm not! You tell him Ibiki!" She swung behind to look at Ibiki whose eyes were pinned to the book in front of him.

"You really are," he spoke in a monotone, not even looking up.

"Jerks." Anko huffed but she never bothered to hold a grudge for long. "Are we going to get an explanation or are you going to moan like a little bitch?"

"I will stick to being a bitch." Aside from enjoying being quite dramatic, he did not want her knowing any of it.

"We're supposed to be your friends! You should tell us everything! Right, Ibiki?"

"Right." Having a good backup, she gave him a triumphant gaze.

"It's complicated." AKA she would tease him mercilessly.

"Excellent. It shall be juicy then." Obito groaned. Things were only getting worse. "Come on."

"What are you guys talking about?" He froze. Rin was coming. She could not know. There could be no hint that anything was wrong. He looked in Anko's direction and pleaded. She had to know how to read him by now. Her eyes met his and maintained contact for a while.

"Obito fell asleep in his breakfast like a fool." Thank you god!

"Again? You need to stop doing that."

"Yeah, I suck!" His laughter sounded a little forced but Rin didn't seem to notice. She was too busy looking at Ibiki.

"We need to go to Tsunade's office at break. Something about tests?"

"Hn." Ibiki gave a small nod to show the message had been received.

"So you guys are going to be busy then? I guess Obi and I will have to entertain ourselves." He shuddered as he realised he was stuck with a determined Anko. And a determined Anko would never give up when she wanted to know.

"Ok…?" She seemed confused but didn't say anything. They were usually this weird.

"And you will tell me all," she whispered when Rin was no longer paying attention.

-Page Break-

Obito's zombified state had been replaced by a feeling of dread. Not only was Anko on his case, he was constantly alert and looking out for Kakashi in every hallway. He'd thought he'd glimpsed a shock of white hair at one point and practically dove into a classroom, crashing into an English teacher. By the time he had apologised and picked up all the books, the white-haired individual was gone.

But when Anko gripped his shoulder and dragged him off, his fear had tripled. It wasn't just due to her finding out about this, it was also the fact that someone else would find out about how much of an asshole he was. Because insisting that you don't like someone when kissing them was a very dickish move.

"Right." They had come to a quieter area of the school. "Spill it."

"…Can you promise you won't tell anyone?" Unlikely but worth a try.

"Depends what it is."

"..Really private."

"Hmm… Ok, I'll say nothing. Just tell me all." Her eyes practically gleamed with excitement.

"…" He meant to explain in a calm and ordered fashion. When he started however, it was like the flood gate. "Kakashi found out Rin fancied him and so made me be his slave so he'd turn her down nicely, but then I found out accidentally that he was gay which he was hiding, and then he told me he liked me so I fainted, and then he kissed me and I kissed him back for some reason and I don't like guys so I don't know what to do!" Even Anko was momentarily taken aback.

"Right… so to sum up, Rin likes Kakashi, Kakashi likes you and you are clueless." He nodded pitifully. "That is an interesting love triangle."

"It sucks so much." He didn't want to be any part of it. Right now, Obito just wanted to be comfortable.

"And you kissed him?" The smirk was starting to form.

"Only because he kissed me while I was in shock! He said I sucked so I had to prove I didn't." This had been more a pride thing than anything else.

"I can understand completely." It was something she would do too. He remembered she had once punched the P.E. teacher as he had said that as a girl, her upper body strength was lacking compared to the boys'. It had been glorious.

"So?"

"…So?"

"What do I do?" He had wanted some advice, not useless comments.

"How would I know?"

"I thought you were going to help me!"

"I doubt I could. I'd say you're screwed." He narrowed his eyes.

"Thanks so much for that helpful commentary. Really, you're great."

"I know." He groaned and started head-butting the wall. Maybe he could bash the memories away.

"Rin is going to kill me if she finds out."

"Why?" Surely Anko wasn't that unaware?

"Because I kissed the guy she likes!" He hissed this part, worried that he could be overheard.

"Well if he's gay, he'd have never liked her anyway. She's not stupid."

"But she'd still be upset!"

"Probably? But do you like him?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You really are a moron… If he just has a little crush on you, that's not your fault."

"I know…" But he still felt weird. Something felt wrong to him. He wasn't interested in Kakashi; of course he wasn't! Was he? The hesitation made him start bashing his head against the wall again.

"You know… This is kind of like a soap opera." Anko was grinning to herself. "You're kind of a weird choice for one of the love interests though… I'd have picked someone less…"

"Weird?"

"No, I was thinking less hyper. You freak out way too easily."

"Thanks for that." He rolled his eyes. "You also suck as a female lead. You don't give enough of a shit."

"I'm too awesome to be in a soap opera! I'm more of an action character!" He wasn't going to disagree with her. The P.E. teacher hadn't been the only person she'd punched; a guy had foolishly decided to take one of her chips while flirting with her. Big mistake.

"Ugh! This doesn't help things!"

"Mean. I'm listening to your problems like a good friend."

"You're just being nosy."

"That may be true but you don't have to be a bitch about it." Obito rolled his eyes.

"Just don't tell anyone! Kakashi will be really upset!"

"You know I don't gossip."

-Page Break-

Telling Anko hadn't been that helpful. She just grinned at him a lot. She was trustworthy enough though so he knew he'd never tell Rin. This didn't make him feel any better when he saw Kakashi. Passing him in the hall caused some dilemmas. Like whether or not he should say hi. He knew he must have been visibly freaking out because the insensitive bastard laughed at him as he walked past. This was the first thing he complained about when walking into work. Kakashi was just going in the door.

"Don't laugh at me you prick!" This he shouted as he came running down the street. Kakashi simply stared at him.

"Have you been waiting to say that all day?"

"Shut up!"

"You were gripping your head and you kept gesturing. You looked insane." Obito hadn't realised he'd done that so much. He groaned to himself at the amount of weirdness he'd shown. "When you're done being stupid, can we go inside?"

"Fine! Just don't kiss me again!" He was going to need one of those masks too.

"And the same to you." Kakashi walked straight in, ignoring the spluttering noise the Uchiha was making.

When he finally got into the shop, he almost walked into his masked friend. Kakashi had just stopped a few steps in. This was pretty unusual behaviour, explained when Obito leaned around.

Deidara (because who else?) had created a huge banner with a huge picture of Obito and Kakashi kissing on it. 'Congratulations!' had been written in huge, multi-coloured letters.

"How does he do these things?" Obito knew they didn't have supplies like that in here. Kakashi's eyes was twitching with repressed rage.

"When I found out, I'm going to fucking kill him."

"How?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to be coming in on Sunday morning."

"Why?" Kakashi looked at him. "…That's when he's going to be working?"

"That would be why. And you need to come."

"Why?" He had been planning on joining him anyway.

"Because I don't know which of the two bastards it is!"

"Oh!" He'd forgotten Kakashi had never met Deidara. "I can do that!"

"And you can help me destroy that before someone else comes in here."