Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Suzanne Collins' characters and her world. They're hers. Not mine. Any lines from the books are hers too.
AN: Since the weather decided to drop like fifty degrees overnight, I spent the day editing. Blame frigid temps and winter laziness y'all.
Kaleidoscope, pt 28
Madge stays rooted in the spot, eyes locked on the doorway.
She doesn't believe what, who, she's seeing. She can't.
It isn't until she hears Abilene's voice stop dead behind her that she shakes off the shock.
"Miles?"
He grins, shrugs and stuffs his hands in his pockets. "In the flesh."
Turning, Madge hands the baby to Abilene before carefully crossing the room, afraid to move too fast and risk destroying the moment. It has to be a dream, and she can't bear to wake.
He stays just outside the door, little grin hanging on his lips as Madge makes her way to him, taking in each and every detail as she gets closer.
His hair is longer, shaggy and pulled back, wild curls poking out here and there. He seems a bit taller than he had, a little more trim. The vestiges of what little baby fat he'd had are gone, sharpening his features, giving him a more authoritative appearance.
Still, his grin is the same, welcoming and warm.
Stopping just short of him, Madge reaches out hesitantly, certain he'll vanish under her fingertips the moment she touches him.
But he doesn't.
He's solid, and real, and he's there. He's home.
"You're here," Madge finally whispers, gripping his sleeve, some strange coarse material.
"Yeah," he nods. "I'm here."
Tears pouring out her eyes, Madge lurches forward and flings her arms around his neck.
Sobbing, she soaks the shoulder of his suit as she tries to ask him how he's there-why, what's happened-but her voice is too thick with tears to be understood. Not that she cares. He's home, and she won't waste a moment worrying over it. Not yet.
"It's okay," he murmurs, arms tight around her. "It's okay."
Finally, Madge pulls back, takes his face in her hands, runs her thumbs over the stubble on his jaw. It's as bad as Gale's.
"I know, I need a shave, right?"
Madge laughs, shakes her head and pulls him into another hug.
He could have a beard to his knees and she wouldn't speak a word against it.
Inhaling, Madge catches the unfamiliar scent of his detergent, heat, and the faint traces of smoke. She wants to commit it to memory in case he vanishes.
"I know you," Madge hears a little voice say.
Pulling back, Madge brushes away tears, smiles over at Jessamine.
"You're Uncle Miles." She glances at Scout, now retreated to the break at the kitchen, shielding herself behind Abilene, eyeing Miles uncertainly. "We seen him on Aunt Briar's wall at the shop, remember?"
Scout nods, but doesn't budge, just grips Abilene's skirt a little tighter. His face may be familiar, imprinted on Wren's shop wall mural, but she's a cautious child. It'll take more than an image to warm her to him.
"A shop, huh?" Miles crouches down, eye level with Jessamine. "What kinda shop?"
"Candy." Jessamine smiles. "Mr. Abernathy says its the best candy he's ever eaten."
Miles rolls his eyes. "I'm sure he does."
"Miles," Madge finally finds her voice. "Miles-how-why are you here? Has something happened?"
Madge's stomach knots up, the worry worming in against her wishes. She can't imagine why Miles might've been recalled, but she knows it can't be good. It never is.
Standing, Miles shakes out his pant leg, starts to answer, but gets cut short by Daisy arriving from work through the kitchen.
"Mom, I-"
She stops mid step, eyes locked on Miles, her mouth half open with the rest of her sentence at the tip of her tongue.
Miles doesn't even get out a hello before Daisy has rushed past Abilene, nearly tripped over one of the girls' toys, then thrown her arms around him.
She's sobbing, babbling, no doubt asking questions, but it's all lost in the snot and tears.
Pulling back, she makes a few more ugly noises, smoothes out the front of his shirt.
"I've missed you so much," she sputters, rubbing away tears, sniffling.
He looks ready to reciprocate, but gets cut short by the rest of the family arriving home from trading at the Hob.
"Who the hell is-" Madge hears Briar ask, question trailing off as she and Wren stop just outside the front door, still hanging open, forgotten in the moment.
"Miles!" Wren screams, flinging herself at him as Briar turns back to the yard.
"Dad! Sage! Get in here!"
She doesn't wait for them to come, they're probably still arguing over how much of their take from the woods Sage needs to take for his brood, just runs in and throws her arms around her brother and sisters.
"You asshole," she shouts, half laughing. "What the hell?"
Madge vaguely hears Jessamine scold Briar for her language over the commotion and laughs.
"Holy shit."
Sage stands just in the door frame, mouth hanging open, as MIles untangles himself from his sisters.
"Holy shit!" Sage shouts, finally shaking off the shock as he rushes at MIles, grabs him in a bear hug and lifts him bodily off the ground. "Holy shit!"
Jessamine sighs dramatically. "Daddy!"
Laughing at her, Madge misses Gale appearing in the door.
He stares at the scene for a moment, clearly not sure what's happening, before he finally puts together what he's seeing.
Stepping in, he takes a long breath as Miles grins, reaches out and plucks a graying hair from his head.
"Damn, you old."
Gale's lips quirk into a grin as he shakes his head before reaching out and pulling Miles into a bone crushing hug.
"Yeah." Gale chuckles. "Old as hell."
#######
Gale blinks back tears, refusing to let the moment be blurred as he hugs Miles.
He doesn't know how or why he's there, but for the moment he doesn't care.
Pulling back, he claps Miles on the shoulder, looks him over.
His hair is as unmanageable as ever, too long and pulled back. He's as tall as Sage finally, still broader in the shoulders though, and he seems to have lost weight.
"How?"
Miles opens his mouth to answer, but stops when he spots something over Gale's shoulder.
Turning, Gale finds a girl.
Briar had seen her a few minutes before, wandering over by the abandoned house across the street.
"The hell is that?" She'd asked.
Wren, who they'd picked up after trading, had shrugged. "New official probably."
Briar rolled her eyes. "It's not. I work at the Justice Building, remember? I'd know if we were getting a new official. I'd have to assign the house."
Wren simply sighed airily. "Maybe she's the new Mayor. You don't assign that house."
Grumbling, Briar had started telling her all the reasons that wasn't right, though Gale hadn't paid it much attention. He'd been too occupied trying to get Sage to take the bulk of their bounty from the woods and trading.
"You've got six mouth to feed," Gale reminded him.
"Five," Sage pointed out. "Haskil doesn't even have teeth."
He was splitting hairs, and Gale had been ready to say just that when Briar had shouted for them.
The girl and the trades had been forgotten as they'd run to see what had Briar so excited.
She's unextraordinary. A little taller than Briar, mousey brown hair that hangs lank at her chin, and thick glasses with heavy looking clunky frames. She looks a bit pale as she surveys the room.
"Oh," Miles steps past Gale, takes the girl's hand and tugs her just inside the house.
"Murph, this is Gale and Madge, my mom and dad." He wraps an arm around Murph's shoulder. "And this is Murphy Od-well, Hawthorne now, I guess."
The girl, Murphy, forces a smile, though it looks more like a grimace as she holds up a hand in a feeble wave.
"Hi."
Gale is still processing what's been said when Wren snorts.
"Everyone is gonna get married before you, Bri."
Scowling, Briar mutters something, then rolls her eyes. "Welcome to the family."
Glancing at Miles, Murphy's anxious smile slips further.
"Ah, don't worry. That's Briar, she's the crabby one, remember I told you?"
Briar tries to hold her glare, but it slips and she laughs. She shakes her head. "Why did I miss you?"
"Because I'm a delight," Miles tells her, still grinning.
He wraps his other arm around a Daisy the sniffs the air.
"Something burning?"
#######
"I was elected by Mayor Sink to come back for the selection of the new Mayor," Miles finally explains, once they've salvaged what they can of the cake.
Every district chose a civil servant to send to form a committee which would decide who would be placed as the head of District Twelve.
"She's a nice lady."
A very nice lady, Madge thinks. There's no reason she'd need to let Miles come home, even temporarily, other than kindness.
"She was the one who told me Papa died," he adds, smiling sadly. "She tried to get a leave for me, for the funeral, but it was denied."
Of course it had been, Madge thinks. Kindness, even in the face of a loss, wasn't in the Capitol's wheelhouse.
"I wrote a dozen letters asking for a pass to come home, once I pieced together Papa was sick from your letters, but it didn't do any good." He shakes his head. "Murphy even tried to ask her uncle for a favor, but he said he couldn't do anything."
Briar frowns. "So you only get to stay until the new Mayor is installed?"
Shrugging, Miles runs a hand through his hair, brushing the curls from his face. He toys with a pen he'd pulled from his pocket, clicks it a couple times before tucking it back away.
"Well, the hope is to get me assigned here on a more permanent basis."
Daisy shakes her head. "But...papa said-and Aunt Chaparral-they said they don't allow them-you-to stay in your home district."
Miles nods. "They don't, but since Snow kicked it…"
He shrugs.
"Bird's been working on getting the rules changed." He tells them. "She's a bit of a nut, but since Snow's gone she's got a lot of pull."
Who or what 'Bird' is, Madge doesn't care. If they can keep her son home, she'll happily invite them to dinner.
"Do you think it'll work?" Madge asks, fingers knotted and eyes on Miles.
It's too much to hope for, but she can't help herself. She's spent on sadness. A little good news would do her a world of good.
Miles looks wary for a moment, then quickly grins. "I wouldn't've brought Murph if I didn't think it was gonna fly."
Murphy smiles, a bit more naturally, more at ease.
"I could only come if we were married," she explains, her voice tiny, just barely audible over the kids playing and squealing outside.
She seems nice, though it's hard to tell.
She's the opposite of what Miles dated in school. His girlfriends, as many as there'd been, had always been cheerfully loud and very pretty. Murphy is soft spoken, mousy and plain in the face.
But, Madge thinks bitterly, Miles has been away for five years. A lot changes in five years, as Miles wastes no time pointing out.
"Two more kids, huh?" He shakes his head. "Damn, Sage, crawl off her for a few years."
Sage mumbles something to him, just low enough only they and Abilene can hear it, and they laugh.
It's such a strange sort of normalcy, so far removed from what they'd expected of the evening, that Madge feels tears start to well in her eyes.
She doesn't want to cry, waste more tears on lost years and moments, but she can't seem to stop. Discreetly as she can, Madge brushes away tears, hoping no one has seen them.
Something squeezes her knee and she looks up, finds Gale smiling gently at her.
"Okay?" He asks, low, just loud enough for her.
Forcing a smile, she takes his hand, grips it tightly.
She's better than she has been in a very long time.
"Give me that," Miles says, gesturing for them to pass him the baby.
"He cries a lot," Jessamine warns him, Sawyer nodding her agreement.
Lawrence makes a face, little nose wrinkling up. "Yeah, he cries bunches, more than Avery."
Avery doesn't defend himself, just nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, yeah."
Scout, however, tugs at Miles' sleeve, cupping her hand to his ear when he leans down to her level.
"He's not so bad," Madge hears her whispers.
Tugging her ponytail, Miles chuckles.
Hours blur past, melting together as the sun sinks past the horizon and the sky streaks pinks and oranges, indigo creeping over the edges of the district.
"Where's Uncle Miles gonna sleep?" Sawyer finally asks through a yawn, as she rests her cheek on Ephraim's shoulder.
He'd turned up about an hour after Miles, and been just as confused and happy to see him as everyone else.
"Washed out finally, huh?" He'd chuckled, giving Miles a bear hug.
Miles laughed. "Not quite."
Madge frowns. She'd been so caught up in the joy of having Miles home, she hadn't even thought about the simplest things, like where he and Murphy are going to stay during their time in Twelve, however long that may be.
"You can come stay with us," Scout tells him, looking back to Daisy.
"Yeah," Sawyer perks up. "Like Arlen and Ephraim do sometimes!"
Gale makes a face, starts to say something, probably complain again about the boys staying overnight, but Briar cuts him off.
"Gotta go."
She and Daisy hug Miles goodbye, promise to see him in the morning, then hurry out the door.
"You can come stay with Nona and me," Wren offers.
"And we've got an extra spot in the living room," Abilene adds, though Sage shakes his head and Jessamine gestures to the now sleeping baby.
Miles grimaces.
"Well, technically I'm supposed to stay at the Mayor's house, but...you know, the others were okay with me staying at home." He rubs at his neck, glances at Madge. "If you've still got room."
Madge stares at him, feels her lips tug up into a smile. He's been gone a lifetime it seems, but this is home, and for some reason that both breaks her heart and makes her ridiculously happy.
"There's always a place for you here," she finally tells him.
It's his home.
######
Gale moves the dolls off the bed, gathers them up and sets them down in the corner.
"The girls kinda-well, they took over," he explains.
Though to be fair, the girls have taken over most of the house. Gale finds ragdolls with smudged faces and clothes, wooden toys and half eaten candy tucked everywhere. He can't even count how many times he's gotten to work and found drawings in his pale, signed messily by one or all of the girls.
It's the highlight of his day most times.
"It's okay," Murphy tells him, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose and picking up a sawdust stuffed dog, holding it out to him.
She's a nice enough girl, a bit quiet, but that may just be Gale comparing her to the rest of the family.
"Don't give him that," Miles cautions her. He grins. "That one's mine."
Murphy frowns, eyes the filthy toy for a moment before looking at Gale.
"Please tell me he's joking. I honestly can't tell with him sometimes."
Gale laughs, almost answers, but is saved the trouble by Miles snatching the dog from her and tossing it on the bed.
"Not joking."
Sighing, he surveys the room and Gale does the same.
Madge had held off on changing anything until there'd been no choice.
Jessamine and Sawyer had spilled juice on the comforter, leaving it a sticky mess. Then Scout had drawn a colorful mural on the wall with a set of crayons Gale had bartered for, mimicking the one Wren had created on her own bedroom wall.
Lawrence had ripped the curtains down when he was learning to walk, and Avery somehow managed to overturn the bedside table, completely wrecking it. They'd used it as firewood just last winter. It was a waste not to.
Despite the changes, the room is still the same underneath.
"I'm-uh-I'm gonna go help Mrs-your mom-Madge," Murphy tells them, stumbling over her words, hurrying out of the room.
Gale chuckles as Miles watches her go, nearly tripping over a box of Wren's old broken pencils.
"She nervous?"
Miles snorts.
"Yeah, actually." He rubs his eyes, a bit red with exhaustion, glances back at the empty doorway. "Not everyday you get married and potentially change districts."
Gale feels his mouth drop open.
"You got married today?" Gale runs a hand through his hair, standing it one day. "Today today."
Miles shrugs. "Yeah. Bright and early, right before we got on the train."
Unsure what to say, Gale just nods, takes a long breath.
No wonder the girl looks like an animal trapped in a snare, confused and panicked. Her life just got turned on its ears less than twenty four hours ago.
"We'd talked about it, before, you know," Miles quickly adds. "But then Sink told me I was leaving, and Bird told me I might get to stay...if I left her there, I'd never get back to her."
It's a sudden move, but hearing it wasn't quite as abrupt as he'd thought sets Gale more at ease.
At least, he thinks humorlessly, they didn't have to get married because the poor girl was pregnant.
"Well," Gale finally says, grinning, "congratulations."
Chuckling, Miles smiles. "Thanks."
Finally, Madge re-emerges, a stack of pillows and linens in her arms, Murphy close behind, practically begging her to let her help.
"Don't be ridiculous," Madge tells her. "You're a guest."
She hands the pile to Miles.
"Hey, so am I," he protests, barely keeping his expression level.
Madge snorts.
"No," Gale tells him, "you're home."
#######
"I never thought we'd see him again," Madge says, eyes wide open, unable to sleep.
Her baby is home. All her children are within hugging range again, maybe for good, and the pure joy of the moment makes sleep an impossibility.
"Hmmm," Gale grunts, half asleep.
Snuggling closer, Madge inches up, presses a kiss to his jaw.
"I'll be quiet," she whispers.
He chuckles.
"Don't," he murmurs, "m'just tired."
Pressing her ear to his chest, Madge closes her eyes.
He's exhausted, a day in the woods, bartering at the Hob, a late night of good news and unexpected visitors...they can talk in the morning.
After nearly an hour, sleep starts to settle over her, and she's at the cusp of drifting off when she hears the floorboards creak.
Gale doesn't wake, just snores on, and Madge almost laughs.
He could hear the softest noise in the woods, track the quietest footfalls, but loose boards at night doesn't even stir him.
Quickly kissing him, untangling herself from his arms, Madge pulls on her shawl and creeps out the door.
Miles' door is wedged open, silver white moonlight trickling out, cutting out into the hall.
Tiptoeing to it, Madge peaks in and nearly yelps when a pair of glasses looks back out at her.
"I'm sorry," Murphy apologizes, grimacing as she opens the door a bit more, wringing her hands as she peers around the frame toward the kitchen. "I was just-I was waiting on Miles to come back-I thought you were him."
Shaking her head, Madge frowns. "He went out?"
He'd never had trouble sleeping, but maybe he has the same excited energy she'd had keeping him up.
Murphy smiles sadly. "He-uh-he goes out when he gets anxious."
She raises a hand, fingers to her lips, mimicking smoking.
"Too many good things," Murphy adds. "It's just a bit overwhelming, I think."
Madge stares at her for a moment, processing what she's just heard.
It's such an odd sensation, having a stranger tell her about her own child, that Madge can't quite place it for a moment.
Disappointment drenched in sadness with a pinch of jealousy. She should know this about her son, but she doesn't. He's had a whole separate life she isn't privy to, and that frustrates her endlessly.
Taking a deep breath, Madge nods, starts to go to the kitchen, but stops and looks at Murphy.
She's got a bit of disappointment in her expression too.
This isn't her fault, Madge reminds herself. She's just as much a victim of circumstance as the rest of them, doing the best she can.
Gale had told her she and Miles had just married before coming, minutes before it seems. Even if they'd been planning on it, eventually, it's a big change, a sudden departure. If Miles is anxious, Murphy has to be panicked.
Miles got to come home, but she's left hers behind.
"You've had quite the day." Madge forces a little smile. "Lots of big changes, leaving your family, home, I'm sorry we didn't get to talk much today."
Murphy shrugs, pushes her glasses back up her nose.
"You were excited to see Miles." She smiles softly. "It's nice to see a family that happy to see each other."
Madge doesn't miss the wistful expression, the painfully familiar sense of being out of place, on Murphy's face. Maybe leaving home wasn't quite as heartrending for her as Madge imagined.
"We're happy you're here too," Madge tells her.
Murphy sighs.
"You aren't." Her lips twitch up. "But I hope someday you really will be."
There's so much honesty, raw sadness, Madge almost lets the tears pricking at her eyes fall. She blinks them back instead, nods.
"We will."
With one last smile, Madge murmurs she's going to check on Miles, then quietly walks down the hall, to the kitchen.
She spots Miles out the window, the orange end of his cigarette lit against the dark trees and the gray white of smoke as he exhales billowing up, vanishing into the night.
Silently as she can, Madge crosses the kitchen, to the open back door, and pushes the screen, causing a sharp screech to cut through the low hum of bugs.
Miles spins on his heels, twists his arm and hides the cigarette behind his back.
"Mom!" He smiles, a little too enthusiastically. "What're you doing up?"
Madge shuts the screen, gently, muting the noise, then tilts her head, studying him more closely as he continues to smile painful at her.
His eyes are still bright, cheerful, but there's something wary in them now, a low simmering fear she'd overlooked earlier. The stubble on his cheeks and jaw seem more a sign of neglect than a carefully cultivated look. Even the tangles in his curls feel more sinister in the moonlight, another warning she'd missed in her joy at seeing him again.
"You smoke?"
He shakes his head. "No."
Arching an eyebrow, Madge crosses her arms.
Shrugging, he untwists his arm from behind his back, looks at the cigarette warily.
"Would you believed if I said I just like to watch it burn?"
When he's met with silence as an answer, he puts the cigarette to his lips and sighs.
For a moment Madge stares, watches the smoke curl up and away, until finally she crosses to the railing and leans on it, frowns at him.
"Some of the guys started me on them in Ten," he explains, eyes upturned, watching the smoke drift away. "Said it helped with stress."
He stubs out the end in one of the flower pots before sighing.
"Turns out, it actually doesn't help, but...kinda hard to stop once you start."
Madge remembers her dad smoking, mostly cigars, but occasionally she'd spot him outside near the shed, puffing quietly on a cigarette. He'd probably received the same bad advice in his youth.
"I've been trying to quit," he finally adds guiltily.
Taking his hand, Madge gives it a squeeze.
"It's okay." She sighs. "It could be worse, look at Nona."
He stares at her a moment, looks like he wants to say something, but shakes his head, thinks better of it.
"Addiction runs in families," he finally says, turning his gaze out to the darkness.
Minutes tick by, the buzzing of bugs swelling and dimming around them, when Miles finally takes a deep breath.
"Tonight was nice," he says, running a hand over his face. "I just wish it could last."
Madge smiles. "It can."
"No," he chuckles, sad and exhausted. "It can't."
He reaches in his pocket, pulls out a little box of cigarettes, turns them over in his hand.
"Too much has changed. Everyone is different, I'm different. Can't move backwards."
He pulls out one of the cigarettes, fumbles around for a match in his other pocket, then lights it, puffs on it as as it burns orange.
"Miles…"
He exhales smoke, shakes his head and gives her a half smile.
"Everything has a price, mom, and I just-I'm not sure what the exchange rate on coming home is going to be." He rubs his eyes. She can see they're a little red rimmed and pink now. "I may have made a deal I don't have the capability to handle the consequences of."
When Madge only frowns in response, he makes a face, searches for a better explanation.
"It's like-it's like that story papa told us about the monkey's paw." He frowns, nose wrinkling up. "I've got that monkey's paw and I've made my wish, and I'm just waiting on the shit to hit the fan."
He's waiting for the twist, the way his dearest wish will be wrecked, and the anticipation is eating him up.
Reaching out, Madge takes the cigarette from his lips, puts it out in the flowerpot, leaving it beside the first.
Pulling him into a hug, Madge tries to squeeze every ounce of love into him she can before pulling back, smiling up at him as she brushes tangled curls from his face.
"If you wished on that paw, then so did I."
She'll share the consequences, take all of it if need be.
"I've missed you so much," she tells him, tears sliding down her face. "Whatever happens, if you stay or they make you go back, whatever the cost, you've got your family."
They love him, wherever he is, whatever it takes.
"You aren't alone here."
He sniffs, forces a water smile.
"I know." He nods. "I just don't want to upset things. I don't really belong here anymore."
Madge fixes him in a stern look.
"You will never not belong here."
No matter where he goes, his family will always be his home.
Grinning, he wraps his arms around her, rests his chin on her head.
A minute passes and he chuckles.
"So...Murphy and I can move in?"
Madge snorts.
"Nothing would make me happier."
He hugs her tighter.
"Me either."