33 - Choices
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Sorry for the delay, I went to Las Vegas to see the Tigerjam!!!
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The next time Harry awoke it was to the sound of Severus having a wicked fight with Sirius. He sat up and grabbed his glasses just in time to see Sirius take a swing at Severus. Severus stepped back avoiding the punch, and had his wand on Sirius before the man had a chance to grab hold of his own wand.
"Whoa! Wait!" Harry yelled from his bed. He tried to get out of bed but his legs got tangled in the sheets. Severus and Sirius stopped fighting just long enough to tell him to get back in bed.
"Potter, stay put," Severus instructed, pushing Harry back against the pillows.
"Don't you dare manhandle my godson!" Sirius yelled, wand clutched tight and pointed at Snape. "You've caused him enough harm!"
"Yes, and I suppose you judge yourself to be an exceedingly superior parent? How hastily you overlook the fact that you almost killed my son by hexing him with a dark spell!?!"
"What about what you've done to him, you greasy bat! Your aunt almost killed him!" Sirius yelled back.
Harry yelled out, "Stop! Both of you, just stop!"
Dumbledore roared out his own command from the infirmary door, "Gentlemen, lower your wands and act your age!" He strode across the room with a look of fury on his face.
Severus immediately pocketed his wand but Sirius gripped his tighter, although he did sit down on the edge of Harry's bed.
"There will be no more fighting," Dumbledore said, his voice much calmer. He looked to Harry and placed a hand upon his shoulder, "How are you feeling, Harry?"
"Um, okay …what's going on?" Harry sat back and looked from Sirius to Severus with a wary expression.
Sirius spoke up first, "Snape took you to Diagon Alley and refused the extra protection I offered! I could have been there! I could have stopped all this from happening to you!"
"You would have just added more confusion to the situation," Snape snidely remarked. "My son and I did just fine without your help."
Harry thought Severus was using the phrase 'my son' just to spite Sirius.
Sirius jumped up, pointing at Harry as he spoke, but glaring at Severus, "You call that JUST FINE! Look at him, Snape! Look at my godson! He looks like death!"
"He looks much healthier than he did when he lay dying in my arms as a six year old child," Snape's tone was deathly quiet and filled with loathing. When that memory had returned, Severus had found it so unbelievable that he had to confirm the validity of it with Albus.
"Stop, just stop!" Harry yelled before things got out of control again.
Dumbledore gave both men a sharp look, "Gentlemen, may I have a word with you in Poppy's office?"
"Wait! Since you'll be talking about me I would prefer you stayed out here so I could be a part of the conversation," Harry couldn't hide the irritation he felt at being left out of yet another conversation regarding him.
Severus raised an eyebrow at the impertinent tone Harry was using.
Albus shook his head, "No Harry, this conversation is specifically for the adults responsible for your care. However, I happen to know that there have been three people waiting anxiously to see you. Perhaps this is a good time to let them in?"
Harry looked towards Sirius, wishing he could tell his godfather to stop worrying so much about him but he didn't want to say that in front of Severus. "Alright, I guess."
"Very good," Albus said and patted Harry on the shoulder to let him know everything would be okay. He called forth Dobby to go fetch the three visitors, then followed Severus and Sirius into the office.
A moment later Ron, Hermione and Ginny came bounding through the door.
"Harry!" all three Gryffindor said at the same time.
"Hi!" Harry couldn't help but to smile as he saw his three best friends come running to his bed.
Ginny immediately hugged him tight, "Harry, Bill told us all about the attack at Diagon Alley this morning. Were you hurt?"
"Of course he was hurt, you twit," Ron exclaimed, "He's sitting in a bed in the infirmary!"
"I wasn't hurt that bad," Harry quickly said, "Just a little cut on my head."
Hermione looked dubious over that statement, "Harry you look really ill. Are you sure it was just a little cut?"
"Bellatrix tried her best but I think I got the best of her this time around," Harry shot back.
Ginny pushed back the hair on his forehead then leaned forward and kissed his scar. "I was so worried about you. When's this all going to end?"
Harry grabbed up both her hands into his, "I don't know. I thought it was over but …I can't tell you anything yet."
"What the bloody hell's going on now, Harry?" Ron asked.
Harry shook his head, "I can't say. I'll tell you as soon as I can though."
Poppy's office door opened at that moment and both Albus and Sirius walked out. Dumbledore didn't stop to chat but winked at Harry on his way out the door.
Sirius said hello to the other Gryffindor before sitting on Harry's bed, "Well kiddo, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow at the try outs. Dumbledore just hired me to be the assistant coach for the Hogwarts team!"
All four Gryffindor congratulated him.
"Wow, Sirius, that's great!" Harry said, truly happy for his godfather.
"This is going to be the greatest team ever," Ron exclaimed with excitement. "I better get back to practice. The Slytherins haven't been practicing at all. They're probably up to a dodgy trick to cheat their way on the team."
Severus cleared his throat.
Ron's eyes grew bigger, he hadn't even been aware the Potion Master had stepped into the room.
"Yes, because all Slytherin are dodgy, are they not, Mr. Weasley?" Severus asked, using his most ominous tone.
"N-no, that's not, I didn't mean…" Ron stuttered.
"Give the kid a break, Snape!" Sirius said, coming to Ron's defense. He stood up then patted Harry on the foot, "I should probably get going, kiddo. Glad to see you're doing good."
"Thanks for coming. Sirius. I'm really glad you're going to be around now that you're coaching."
"Yup, I'll be around to keep an eye on you," Sirius said, giving Snape a piercing look.
Severus ignored the mutt, having just had a thorough reprimand from the headmaster. He watched the mutt give Harry a hug before heading out the door.
He shifted his glare to Potter. "I will be down in my laboratory should you require my assistance." He turned to go.
"Wait!" Harry called out, not sure what he would say but knowing he didn't want his dad to leave him in here. "How long do I have to stay here?"
Severus furrowed his brow in consternation. Potter was clearly distressed, the events of the morning must still be causing him anxiety, "Madame Pomfrey feels it best that you remain under her care for at least another day or possibly two. She seems rather unconvinced that I could take proper care of you. Do you have an objection to remaining in the infirmary?"
Harry hated the thought of being stuck here for another day. Ever since Vespa had kidnapped him from the infirmary, he had always hated the place. He wished his girlfriend wasn't here so he could tell Severus how he truly felt. "Couldn't I just rest in the dungeon?"
"Pomfrey was quite adamant that you should stay."
Harry looked at his friends, then back to Severus, then just blurted out, "I don't want to stay." Bloody hell, he felt like he was six again. His face flushed with shame.
Severus could hear the stress in Potter's voice. He gave Potter a nod, then headed back into Pomfrey's office and shut the door behind him.
"What the bloody hell was that all about?" Ron asked. "You're not afraid to stay here, are you?"
Harry looked away, "No."
"Honestly Ronald," Hermione said in exasperation, "Don't you ever think before opening that mouth of yours? I'd like to see you fight against Bellatrix Lestrange after being kidnapped by her and then not show some signs of trepidation."
"I'm not afraid!" Harry snapped out, "It's just …"
"Relax, Harry," Ginny said, taking hold of his hand once more, "Nobody in this whole world would ever accuse you of being scared. Ron's just being a git. He's one to talk anyway…he's afraid of spiders." She gave Ron a swift punch to the arm. Then, wanting to change the subject, she asked, "Try-outs are tomorrow. Do you think you'll be able to go?"
"I'll be there," Harry said.
"You're coming to the party afterwards, aren't you?" Ginny asked.
"I wouldn't miss it. Besides, I need a little fun."
"The twins sent over a new drink they'll be selling at their shop. They say it's brilliant," Ron announced, "The only warning they sent was to keep any of the teachers from getting a hold of a bottle."
"Maybe you shouldn't try it, Harry," Hermione warned, "You don't look so good and we don't really know what effects the drink will cause."
"Do I really look that bad?" Harry asked, a bit annoyed to be told how bad he looked, for the third time in the last ten minutes.
"You're still a heart throb to me," Ginny whispered in his ear, pulling Harry into an embrace then kissed him on the lips.
Ron made a derogatory remark, while Hermione said, "How sweet."
That happened to be the same moment that Severus stepped back into the room. Poppy followed behind wearing a scowl.
Severus shook his head when he saw Potter wrapped up in an embrace.
"Please do not let me interrupt," he said sarcastically. He watched the teens pull away from each other.
"Would you like to leave?" Severus asked Harry.
"You mean I get to go?" Harry asked with a smile. His friends smiled as well.
Poppy was now standing at his bedside with a frown on her face, "Your father has assured me that you will remain in bed and that you will eat."
"Yes Ma'am," Harry said, lifting up the covers to see what he was wearing. He discovered he had on the standard infirmary pajamas. He swung his legs out of the bed and grabbed the robe his father tossed at him. He shoved his feet in the boots he had worn earlier that day.
"May we come to visit him, sir?" Hermione boldly asked the Professor.
Severus gave a curt nod before heading for the door. Harry gave Ginny one last hug and a quick kiss on the cheek before following Severus.
As soon as they stepped into the dungeon apartment, Hedwig flew out of the bedroom and landed on Harry's shoulder.
"Hey girl, I missed you too," Harry whispered, scratching the bird on her head.
Severus pointed to the sofa, "Lie down. I'll not be accused of shirking my duties should you fail to heal properly." He spelled the fire up high to take the chill out of the air.
Harry flopped down on the sofa then toed his shoes off, letting them fall to the ground. A moment later a quilt was flung over his legs by Severus.
"Stay put," the professor instructed. "I shall be down in my laboratory should you need me."
"Yes, sir," Harry replied. "Thanks for getting me out of there. I thought I would be stuck there for another day."
"I feel as if I am missing something significant as to why you do not like the infirmary? I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with the voids in my memory," Severus quietly admitted, as he stood at the foot of the sofa.
This was the first time his dad had opened up to him. Harry wished he could fill in all the blank spots for Severus but knew it would only cause harm. "Those memories will come back," he offered, wishing to come up with something a bit more comforting.
"Until then, I fear I have not been the person you seem to be seeking out for reassurance. It is not in my temperament to be nurturing and that is what I realize you most need after all you have been through," Severus plainly stated.
"I'm sixteen," Harry replied, embarrassed by the thought that he needed nurturing. "You're doing just fine, sir."
"Severus," Severus said, "You may call me Severus. I am not quite ready for …the other name."
Harry nodded, glad they were at least heading in the right direction but wishing they did not have to start all over again.
Severus sat down on the edge of the coffee table and faced the teen with a somber expression. "I know you feel strongly about residing with me, however I would not blame you, should you choose to stay with Black and Lupin. Perhaps just temporarily?" Before Harry could protest, Severus put a hand up, "Just consider the option."
"I don't need to," Harry said. "I'm staying."
"You should know … Albus came to speak to me while you were unconscious. The Auror on duty during the attack has not been found yet."
"Who is it?" Harry asked, heart thumping madly as he thought of Tonks.
"Shacklebolt. There were no signs of a struggle or fight left behind. He seems to have just disappeared. There is something else …. Albus feels it is imperative that I regain my memories before the ministry finds out I lost them."
"Is there anyway to speed things up?" Harry asked, noting the dark circles under the professor's eyes for the first time.
"Albus believes he has found a way to help restore the memories. It would be similar to the way you have helped me in the past but this time Albus would be the one to manage the memories. It involves putting us both into a magically induced coma. It is risky for him to do such a thing, considering his age, so we would only do this as a last resort," Severus stated, lowering the fire a bit.
"I can do it for you," Harry eagerly offered, not sure the intensity of the spell would be good for a man as old as professor Dumbledore.
"I think not. It is far too precarious a spell to ask of you."
"Is it dangerous for you as well?"
Severus bowed his head, not sure he should answer that question truthfully. He was quite aware of how protective the boy had become. Before he could say anything further, Harry spoke up.
"It is risky," Harry stated. "I don't want either of you to do it then."
"We will speak again. Until then I must spend some time down in my laboratory working on a nutritional suppliment to put some color back into your face."
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Harry couldn't shake the idea that the adoption was putting his father at risk. He didn't want Dumbledore or Severus to do anything that could permanently hurt them.
Ten minutes later he was still staring into the fireplace, thinking about how much trouble he had become to Severus, when the fire suddenly turned green. Narcissa stepped out with white robes fluttering about her. She looked around the room before starring down her aristocratic nose at him.
Hedwig squawked loudly, taking flight out of the room.
"I hear you are causing more trouble," Narcissa said with aversion. "I should think you have caused poor Severus enough trouble without this latest fiasco."
Harry sat up, giving the witch a sneer of his own, "How do you know what happened?"
"I received a letter from Walden MacNair's wife telling me all about your little temper tantrum today at Ollivanders."
"It's none of your business," Harry said, anger rising.
"You think not!?! You almost killed my sister! What sort of monster are you?" Narcissa hissed.
"She deserved what she got!"
"You're lucky you didn't get Severus killed today," the witch pulled her white gloves off, tossing them onto the coffee table.
Severus came into the room at that moment. He stood in the doorway with sleeves rolled up and a bottle of potion in his hand. "Narcissa, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"
"Severus, dear! I was so worried about you. I came as soon as I heard about the trouble today at Ollivanders. Are you hurt?" Narcissa asked, going to the man and placing a hand on his arm.
Severus immediately rolled down his sleeve, not wanting to dwell on his own injury in front of the boy. "I am fine," he stated.
Harry began to stand up but his father was immediately at his side, gently pushing him back down to the sofa.
"Stay put," Severus instructed.
"Shall we ask Draco to join us for supper?" Narcissa asked, inviting herself to stay.
Severus gave his consent on the stipulation that Potter must rest until supper arrived. Harry agreed but asked to go into his own room until then.
"Fine," Severus said, "But do try and get some sleep."
Harry stood up and started to walk out of the room but was stopped by Narcissa's next question to Severus.
"Severus, Draco tells me that you generously agreed to help him prepare for the Quidditch try outs. I was surprised by the gesture, seeing that your own son would be competing for the same position." Narcissa gave Harry an unabashed smirk.
"Albus believes there will be two positions open for seeker. The professional Quidditch team will have the regular number of players but the student team will be doubled. It will help to balance out the teams."
Harry couldn't help smiling at the thought of him and Draco playing on the same team..
Severus turned to face Harry, "I am not convinced you will be deemed well enough to compete."
"I'll be recovered by tomorrow," Harry quickly claimed.
"We will see," Severus said, following the teen down the hallway. Once Harry was settled in bed, Severus gave him the potion he had found in his laboratory. Apparently he had already brewed several batches of nutritional supplement before his injury. "This should speed your recovery. I am well aware of your desire to try out tomorrow but I must caution you against getting your hopes up. Madame Pomfrey will have the final say."
"When are you and Draco going to practice?" Harry asked, hoping his voice didn't convey the jealous pang he felt.
"This evening," Severus said, taking back the empty vial of potion. "Right after supper."
"Oh," Harry pulled his blankets up and faced the wall, his back to the professor.
Severus stood by the bedside trying to evaluate what problem the boy might have with his training Draco. Coming to the conclusion that Potter must just be feeling resentful for not being able to practice himself, he spelled off the lights before walking out the door.
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That night during supper, Narcissa continually brought up the try outs scheduled for the next day.
Harry tried to find his own excitement over the events but felt it harder than expected. There was still the very real possibility that he would not be allowed to play. He couldn't help noting how much Severus and Draco had in common.
They not only spoke of Quidditch but also potions and various Slytherin students. He hadn't seen his father this relaxed for quite some time. He also couldn't deny the way Severus looked at Narcissa. It was obvious that they fancied each other by the looks that passed between them.
When supper ended, Narcissa made a big deal of thanking Severus for his generous offer to coach Draco. Once Draco left to get ready for practice, she showed her gratitude by pulling Severus into a tight embrace and kissing him soundly.
Harry was mortified to be in the same room. He immediately headed for the hallway.
Severus recovered his decorum, pulling out of the embrace in time to see Potter making a beeline for his bedroom. Serves the boy right after acting that same way earlier in the infirmary, he thought.
Once Narcissa saw that Severus might be concerned for the awful little vagrant, she made sure to show her own concern for the boy.
"Will Harry be okay?" Narcissa asked, feigning concern. "I'm sure it must feel awful to be missing out on so much of the celebration."
"He will be fine," Severus said.
"If there is anything I can do for him, please do not hesitate to ask. I could stay here while you practice with Draco? Maybe even get Harry to play a game of chess to take his mind off Quidditch?" she offered kindly.
"That will not be necessary. Mr. Potter must learn to deal with the disappointments this world hands us," Severus said, thinking of the reaction the boy would have if Madame Pomfrey deemed him too ill to compete tomorrow. "In any case, he needs to stay in bed."
"Well then, I suppose I will come to watch you practice, if that is alright with you?"
Severus nodded his head, fascinated that a woman such as Narcissa would truly be interested in someone like him.
"I've brought my camera," Narcissa added, glancing at the empty mantel above the dungeon fireplace. "You could use a woman's touch in this dreary room. Perhaps a few photos to brighten the place up a bit?"
Severus ignored the suggestion and indicated to the door and coat rack, "I shall meet you on the pitch after I change."
The Potion Master walked Narcissa to the door, admiring her beautiful pale hair as she sauntered in front of him.
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Harry paced in his bedroom, angry to be left out of all the excitement surrounding the big match, the big match that was supposed to be a gift to him! His friends had been practicing all week and he knew Draco had been as well. It wasn't fair. He was beginning to think he might not be good enough to actually win a spot on the team. He hadn't really played in a long time and he wasn't feeling his best these days either. Bloody hell!
He opened his trunk and pulled out his shrunken broom. With a tap of his wand the broom was back to normal size. He rubbed the finely polished wood, wishing he could join his father on the pitch tonight. Nothing felt better than riding your broom at night under the stars. Maybe he could use his invisibility cloak …
There was a knock at his door, then the door opened to reveal Severus. He was dressed in Quidditch gear and holding his own broom. He walked into the room but stopped when he spotted Harry holding his broom.
"What do you think you are doing?"
Harry gulped. His father's voice conveyed anger. He put the broom on top of his trunk before saying, "Nothing. I was just checking to make sure my broom was in order."
Severus eyed him suspiciously, "Were you intending on slipping out? Perhaps taking a nighttime jaunt on your broom?"
"No, I wasn't!" Harry snapped back.
"You forget your place, Mr. Potter."
"I was just checking to make sure my broom would be ready for tomorrow, sir."
"Get into bed," Severus instructed, having second thoughts about leaving the boy alone now.
Harry felt like he was five years old as he climbed into bed at such an early hour with his father glaring down at him. Merlin, it was barely seven o'clock and probably still light outside!
Severus pulled his wand from his cloak. "I will not be able to concentrate on training Draco if I think you are gallivanting about the castle or more likely outside of the castle. Therefore, I am going to place a spell on the covers of your bed, forcing you to stay put."
"No!" Harry yelled, throwing the covers back before Severus could spell them.
Severus had raised his wand but stopped when he saw the look of horror on Potter's face, "It is a simple spell, a spell used quite commonly to keep children from wandering at night," the potion master explained.
By this point Harry had jumped out of the bed and stood glaring back at the professor, "Yes, I know all about that spell! You've used it on me before and I'll not let you use it on me again!"
Harry grabbed his robe and was searching for his shoes when he saw that Severus was suddenly caught in the throes of a painful memory returning. Severus refused to look up at him, refused to give him the chance to help slow the memory down.
"Severus, let me help," Harry begged, when he saw the blood dripping from his father's nose. "Please, Severus."
A few minutes later, after the memory had ended, Severus made it over to the bed. He sat down then used his wand to clean up the blood. He looked into Harry's eyes, regret in his own eyes. That memory was so vivid, so horrifying, "Your uncle used to tie you to the bed?"
Harry stood a few feet away but took a step closer, "Yeah…" He could tell that Severus was contrite, "You didn't know, sir."
"This is exactly the reason why I must get my memory back! I saw you, I saw what I did to you the last time I used that spell on you! I saw the emotional coma you were forced to retreat to. I saw what that bastard did to you when I went back to get your owl!"
Harry didn't say anything. He had already lived through this scene and hardly wanted to have to do it all over again.
"Do you not feel anger towards me? You have every right to speak up for yourself," Severus declared, finding the boy's silence to be unsettling.
"You didn't know," Harry calmly repeated. "I can't very well be mad at you for something you didn't remember."
"Well I should have known! I should have remembered! Merlin boy, don't you have any sense of self-preservation?!" Severus practically screamed at the teen. He abruptly stood up and paced in front of the fire. "I should think you would jump at the chance to get the bloody hell away from me the first chance you had. Instead you have so little sense of worth that you continue to let me unleash abuse upon you!"
Harry spoke from his heart when he said, "That's not true. You're not yourself these days, Severus. The person you used to be is well worth fighting for. I don't stand by idly letting you heap abuse upon me, I stand by optimistic for the return of the person you grew into."
"That is sentimental rubbish," Severus said with a quiet intensity, "I don't like being responsible for someone I barely know and unintentionally hurting him on a daily basis."
Ouch, those words stung. Harry stepped back until he was leaning against the bed. He couldn't find any words in which to counter that statement.
Severus walked to the bedroom door and stopped when he reached the threshold. He looked as if he wanted to say something but ended up pressing his lips together and walking out the door.
Harry slumped down on the bed and closed his eyes.
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The next morning Harry woke up to a knock on his door. Thinking it was Severus he called for him to come in. He had barely put his glasses on when Poppy walked into the room.
"Don't bother getting up, Mr. Potter," she admonished, pulling her wand out. "Let's see how well you have followed my orders." She waved her wand about this way and that, casting all matter of diagnosing spells.
Harry waited patiently for her to finish, knowing that he felt a hundred percent better than yesterday.
After what seemed like an eternity she finally gave her judgment, "You have recovered nicely. I suppose you may attend the try-outs today."
"Whoo hoo!" Harry shouted with a fist in the air. "I knew it! Thanks Poppy."
"I expect you to report any signs of weakness, young man. Is that understood?"
"Yes, ma'am!" Harry was out of his bed in a flash. He showered and dressed in record time, eager to get out to the pitch and get some practicing in before try-outs.
He walked by his dad's bedroom and could hear the shower running. It was hard to forget the words his father had spoken to him last night. It had hurt to hear Severus refer to him as someone he barely knew. As much as he wanted his father to get his memory back though, he certainly didn't want Severus to have to go through that spell to do it. It sounded dangerous to him.
He went to the kitchen to wait for Severus but stopped when he saw who was sitting at the breakfast table.
"Good morning, Harry dear," Narcissa said, enjoying the look of surprise on the Gryffindor's face. "Please come join me for breakfast."
She was wearing Severus' bathrobe, clearly flaunting the fact that she had spent the night. Harry saw the satisfied smirk on her face and turned around to get the bloody hell out of there.
He was practically running for the front door when he suddenly stopped. There sitting on the mantel, was a picture of Severus, Narcissa and Draco. It had been taken last night during practice by the looks of the clothes everyone was wearing. He walked up to the mantel to get a better look. Severus had one arm over Draco's shoulder and the other over Narcissa's. He wasn't smiling but he had a look of pride on his face. Narcissa looked up at him and just before the picture began to repeat itself, Severus looked down at her and smiled. It was barely a smile but it definitely conveyed happiness. Harry felt as if he had been punched in the stomach.
"He's very content when he's with Draco and I. Imagine how happy he would be if we became a family," Narcissa said from behind him. "He told Draco he was proud of him last night."
Harry balled up his fists. He knew what the witch was trying to do. Then she came right out and said,
"You've put him in terrible danger. He can never find peace with you in his life, Harry. You know this is true, don't you?"
Harry stood by the mantel, eyes glued to the moving picture.
"Do you really think it is healthy for Severus to have to deal with your problems after all he has already given up for you? How could you be so selfish, Harry?"
Her words cut right through Harry's reserve.
Narcissa walked over to Severus' desk. She opened the drawer and pulled out a rolled up document. "Sign it, Harry." She handed the boy the document and watched his face fall when he unrolled it and recognition took hold.
Harry's heart sunk. He had the power to release his dad from all the misery that lay ahead for Severus. All he had to do was to sign the document. His signature was the only thing needed to release Severus from his duty as guardian.
Narcissa was satisfied that Harry was actually giving thought to her idea. She quietly stepped out of the room.
Harry held the document in his fist. He slowly walked back to his bedroom as if in a daze. He had the power to release his dad from having to live through the torment that was yet to come. If Bellatrix was right, then his future held nothing but grief for anyone that he was close to. He lay down the parchment on his desk and unrolled it by pressing his palms across it.
It just needed his signature to go into effect. He had the power to give Severus a better life, a life without him. That picture on the mantel was worth a thousand words, it was a picture of a happy family … living in peace.
With a shaky hand he dipped his quill into the pot of ink. Hedwig squawked loudly, flying to stand on the desk. He shooed her away then looked back down to the parchment. He hesitated for just a moment, then pressed the tip down and signed his name. Merlin, this was hard! He couldn't let himself turn back now. This was a gift he could give to the only father he ever knew. He couldn't breathe, his heart was pounding so hard.
He picked up the parchment and rolled it up before signaling Hedwig to him. "Go on girl, take this to the ministry."
Hedwig refused to budge. Harry had to give her a push to make her fly. He watched her fly out the bedroom door, his heart twisting in grief.
Harry turned towards the bed, looking around the bedroom he had once considered his. He felt like he was caught in one of his nightmares as he walked towards the armoire. He felt empty, as if he would never recover from losing so much. He opened the armoire and began to pack, throwing clothes towards his trunk. He wanted to scream, to break everything in the room and then cast a burning spell. He stopped packing when he decided he couldn't take the site of anything that reminded him of the life he almost had, the family he was almost lucky enough to get.
He knelt down next to his trunk and began to pull everything out that Severus had ever given him. He was stopped by a sharp voice coming from the doorway.
"May I ask what you are doing?"
Harry looked up at Severus as he swallowed the lump in his throat, "You've got your wish, Severus. I'm cutting you loose."
"What exactly does cutting me loose mean, Potter? And why, in Merlin's name, are you making such a mess in this room?" Severus asked, noting the anxious look in the young man's eyes and the open trunk.
"You're free, Snape!" Harry shouted, still kneeling next to his trunk. He dug around in it until he found one of the pictures of him and his dad. He looked at it for a moment before standing up and chucking it into the fire. The frame hit the heavy stones, shattering the glass front onto the floor.
Severus was trying to figure out what had happened. It shocked him when the boy threw the picture. He walked to the fireplace and picked up the broken picture frame. Ripped, but still recognizable was a picture of him with his arm around the boy
"Potter, stop this nonsense at once! Explain yourself this instant!"
"Don't you get it? You're free! You're free from being stuck with me, just exactly like you wanted!" Harry shouted. "Just please …please…," he couldn't finish the sentence as his throat closed up around his plea. He felt tears begin to prick his eyes and wiped them with the back of his hand. His heart was breaking into a million little pieces that he felt sure he would never recover from.
Severus didn't like what he was being told. Alarm bells were going off in his head, alerting him to tragedy. He walked up to the distraught boy and placed a hand upon his shoulder, "Harry, what have you done?"
"I've signed it …I've signed the document, like you asked," Harry said, his voice breaking on the last words. He felt the grip Severus had on him turn painful.
"Harry, no," Severus whispered, looking deep into the boy's eyes. He could see the boy struggling to hold himself together.
"Please sir, I ask just one thing …," Harry couldn't stop the tears that blurred his vision, "please… Obliviate me. I don't think I can stand to remember."
"Obliviate you?" Severus let go of the boy's shoulder and the teen stumbled back before catching himself.
"Please," Harry pleaded, sinking down to sit on the bed.
Severus quickly scanned the room for the document, "Where is it? It may not be too late."
"It's too late."
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Hedwig clutched the document in her sharp claws. She flew up the last set of stairs leading to the office of Professor Dumbledore.
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I wrote 18 pages just for you so now it's time for you to review!