For those of yoy that have been following the story or read my A/N, you know I have a shitload of content just waiting to be organized into a chapter. I think what's taken me so long, despite the colour-coding and transferring uploaded content into a completely different file is that, I actually didn't have a follow-up to Chapter 9. My story is soo disorganized that I didn't realize until today. So this is chapter is content that wasn't anticipated, which I think I'm well equipped for now. At the very beginning. I thought I would stick to the story I played out in my head. I didn't realize its complexity, or the fact that I didn't want it to be chronological and that I would be from many character points of view. Even now, I don't know how this story will end. I'm determined to go forth and finish it. I would estimate I've got at least another 10-15 chapters up my sleeve :) Thank you to the faithful readers I've been letting down with my sporadic chapter updates. Trust me, you are a HUGE part of the reason I keep on writing.
Side note (I've had a boatload of new views lately, not sure if it's because of the new novel or what but I like it :)
Present Day, Rangiku's House.
In the days that followed Gin's arrival, Rangiku was very careful not to interact with him.
She'd woken up to him sleeping in an upright position outside her door, and before he could wake up and open his mouth to speak she slid the door back with a force that almost knocked it off its hinges.
She was miserable.
Not only because she was heavier and started to waddle slightly when she walked, but because some sick part of her was actually apologetic, as if she was at fault for their current situation. She could tell that Gin didn't want this. In fact, in all her fantasies about loving and being with him, she'd never pictured anyone else in the equation.
She'd never known any family other than Gin. And he'd been enough.
But instinctually she knew she was not sorry for this. She was extremely proud of herself, that she bore life inside of her. A life (almost) entirely of her own making that would make her idea of a family complete. Only this time, Gin was not part of the equation.
She watched him truly suffer then. She would walk around her own house like a ghost, not uttering a word to him for the first few weeks. He complied, bitterly, only leaving her side when Aizen needed him. The travel was exhausting him, she could tell. But he was never gone more than a few days.
When he did come back, he stayed outside, keeping himself busy with training or some other kind of paperwork, for fear that he would do something to upset her more if he came close. Only when she shut the bedroom door could she hear him come back into the house, grab a pillow and blanket and lie down outside her door. Keeping watch. She supposed he bathed in the nearby river, because she'd never once heard him fill her bath.
The first exchange of words happened one month after he'd first arrived, and it was not by Ran's choice.
Ms. Kamato, her housekeeper and who she'd planned to have watch the baby when she was gone, was ill and had taken the day off. That left the washing to Ran. She knew how to wash, she'd done it when her and Gin were children. But everything she'd known how to do before became a lot more complicated while pregnant, and she struggled to carry the freshly folded linens inside.
She hadn't heard him approach but she felt his presence as soon as she'd put down the basket.
"Ran. Let me help you."
"I'm fine."
"No you're not. That's the third time you've put down that basket."
Shit. He was always watching her, she remembered, even if he couldn't be seen. She was about to refuse him, but common sense outruled her pride.
"Thank you."
And she knew she had failed herself. It would not be long before he found his way back into her heart.
And her bed.
Gin left that night, which she was thankful for. She had needed to send a report back to Unohana anyway, which Gin offered to do as he was now part of their secret. But she missed him terribly, and when she woke up in the middle of the night for water or to use the bathroom, she would often find tears on her face. Although her heart had ached for him before, it was always of longing, never of uncertainty and distrust as she now felt.
This isn't like before, Gin. This isn't a game.
On her sixth night alone she started to worry.
Maybe he's gone for good.
She woke up as before, with tears slowly rolling down her cheekbones. She used the heels of her palms to wipe them.
"Did I wake you, Matsumoto?"
Startled by his voice, Ran turned her head to the corner of the room, where Gin was crouched on the side, his silver locks visible through the din.
"Don't call me that," she sniffled. "More importantly, how could you have come in here without me knowing?"
"You're too distracted," he pushed his hair back from his eyes, something she knew him to do only when he was frustrated.
"Gin-"
"-And quite honestly, Ran, it's all over some fucking bullshit and it needs to stop."
Before she could move to speak again he continued.
"I feel everything you feel Ran. I can feel your pain and mistrust of me. And I'm sorry for how I reacted. But you're not being fair. I have… have always been there for you." She could here his voice hitch.
"Look, Gin, I don't want to argue with you - "
"Then don't."
And as much as she wanted to scold him, she couldn't bring herself to do it. He was right, he had never turned his back on her. Even when she'd been kept prisoner, all those years ago, he ensured those soul reapers would never hurt her again.
"Then what do you want, Gin?" she couldn't remember what she'd gotten up for at this point, but she was ready to go back to sleep.
He stayed silent. But, just as he was able to feel her thoughts and emotions, he was able to show her his own.
"We like to sleep on my other side now," she said out loud in response lifting her arm and shifting over.
"I suppose that's acceptable."