-140 - Ignominy

The document with Harry's signature on it had been found by a house elf up in Albus Dumbledore's office. The moment the headmaster entered his office, he saw the rolled up parchment sitting atop his desk. He unrolled it, feeling quite remorseful for not realizing just how dire the situation between father and son must have grown to push the boy into signing.

He let the parchment roll back up before tossing the document into the fire. He watched it burn until it was nothing more than ash.

With that settled, he went straight to the Minister of Magic and demanded that Fudge clear out of Hogwarts and take all his staff with him. The portly little man had tried to argue against leaving but as soon as Albus demanded proper documentation, Fudge had no choice but to leave.

Fudge called his staff, including the aurors and asked them to leave Hogwarts. His dream of adopting the famous boy who lived had been shattered. He blamed Narcissa Malfoy for this fiasco and he vowed to make her pay!

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Harry and Severus walked to the apparation point in silence, both being deeply caught up in reflection.

The air was frigid in Little Whinging with the sun setting, but Harry didn't feel the cold. His thoughts were wrapped up in more pressing matters. His scar had begun to prickle the moment he had stepped away from number four Privet Drive, forcing him to wonder if Voldemort could feel his presence once again. He rubbed his forehead as his thoughts shifted to the man walking silently beside him.

Harry wondered if the memory spell had worked on his father? It was unsettling to think that Severus would no longer remember the past six months. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and kept his gaze directed on the icy sidewalk. He felt an uneasiness, not knowing if this was the old Severus or the new Severus.

Severus was lost in his own contemplation as he walked next to Harry. He kept glancing down at the teen's bent over head, wondering why the boy wouldn't look at him. He knew he had gone too far at the Dursley's home. He wasn't exactly remorseful over beating up Vernon Dursley, the man had clearly deserved it, but he was ashamed that his son had been there to witness his barbaric behavior. He felt rather discomfited that Harry had been the more mature person in this instance and had to force him to end the beating. It wasn't exactly the sort of behavior a parent wanted their teenager to observe them doing.

Another major concern was the fact that Harry had not wanted him to know what abuse he had suffered at the hand of Vernon Dursley these past few days. He couldn't understand why the teen had wanted to protect the ghastly Muggle. It pained him to think that after all the boy had suffered through these past few weeks, perhaps Harry no longer trusted him.

He had to admit to himself that he had been a downright bastard to the boy since losing his memories. His old snarky, bad tempered self had lashed out at Harry, just when the teenager had needed him most. He was an abysmal parent, indeed!

At least now he had all his memories back and could help the boy deal with that dreaded scar and his connection to Voldemort. He was anxious to speak with Albus regarding the scar and possible horcrux.

They stopped in an empty alley way and Severus pulled his wand out. Harry watched as a small eagle patronus shot out the end of his father's wand and went soaring through the air.

Severus explained, "I am unsure whether we will need to hide out until this mayhem with the ministry is taken care of. Hopefully, Albus has dealt with the minister already and we can return to Hogwarts."

Harry suddenly felt foolish for having signed the document in the first place. It was all his fault that he had been forced to take refuge at the Dursley's. He simply nodded then looked back down at his shoes. He could feel Severus' eyes directed at him, making him even more self conscious of his stupidity.

After a tense moment of silence, Severus finally spoke, "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Harry. I am entirely to blame for having forced you into signing the document. I can hardly hold you accountable after the way I treated you."

Harry looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and asked in a near whisper, "Severus, I need to know if the memory spell worked? I need to know if you remember what happened at Vespa's cottage?"

Severus could hear the anxiety in the teen's voice. He stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I recall everything." The look of relief that the boy now wore, was enough to attest to just how anxious Harry must have been these past few weeks. That feeling of guilt Severus had been feeling, seemed to peak. "We shall speak more regarding Bellatrix and her claims when we are in a more secure location."

A patronus in the shape of a phoenix, suddenly swooped down between the brick walls of the alley. Before it got too close it disappeared into the cold air.

"That was a message from Albus," Severus explained. "All is well at the school. We may return."

Harry breathed out a sigh of relief, "Good."

"Did you bring your invisibility cloak? I fear your disappearance may have brought about unwanted attention from the press."

Harry pulled his invisibility cloak out of his rucksack and threw it over both himself and his father.

Severus grabbed hold of Harry's arm and they disapparated with a soft pop. Harry managed to stay on his feet as they landed at the gates of Hogwarts.

A slew of reporters were bunched up around the gate and they turned when they heard the soft pop of apparition. Severus used a spell to hide their footprints in the snow and another to muffle any noise they might make. They had to wind their way around the reporters to reach the gates. Once they made it beyond the gates and up the first hill, Harry pulled the cloak off and stuffed it back into his bag.

"Harry?" Severus couldn't wait any longer, he had to know, "What happened at the Dursley's. How did you really acquire those injuries?"

Harry shrugged, "I told you, it was just a boxing match with Dudley. Do you mind fixing my nose before anyone sees me?"

Annoyed for still not having been told the truth, Severus answered rather gruffly, "Fine, but first I would like to hear the truth."

Harry couldn't imagine what good could come out of telling his father that Vernon had broken his nose. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and kept his eyes on the snow covered ground as they made their way up to the school.

"Your silence speaks volumes," Severus stated in a dark tone. "Perhaps I shall require another visit to that worthless Muggle."

"No!" Harry immediately said, having quit that family for good. "Why should it matter? It's over, he's not ever going to touch me again!" He couldn't hide the anger he felt, and he wasn't sure who that anger was directed at.

"I should have killed the man when I had the chance after all he's done to you," Severus hissed.

Harry stopped and faced his father, "That is exactly the reason why I am keeping my mouth shut! You just get so bloody angry when you think someone's hurt me! Besides, I don't ever want to think about the Dursley's again."

"Unlike you, I do not forgive and forget so easily," Severus said in a snide tone, as he took a firm grasp of his son's arm. "In future, I'll ask you to remember exactly to whom you are speaking and to choose your words with more care."

It took Harry a moment to recover from the firm reprimand. He pulled out of Severus' grasp and stumbled backwards. By this point they had reached the bridge and Harry turned to walk across it. He was stopped once more by a firm grip to his shoulder.

"Harry, this will not continue," the potion master's voice was severe, "I will not let you build a wall between us by hiding your experiences. Tell me what happened- now!"

"Why, so you can go back to Privet Drive and kill Uncle Vernon and get thrown in Azkaban!?!" Harry shouted the last part.

Severus severely regretted causing such a scene back at Privet Drive. He had never wanted his son to hide anything from him based solely on thinking he was too out of control to handle it. He used his fingers to guild Harry's face up. "Let me see what happened, Harry. Trust me to be the parent," he implored, using a touch of legilimens.

For a split second, Harry tried to fight the spell but Severus' grip tightened on his chin. He had to force himself to keep from occluding so that his father could see what had happened at Privet drive. Humiliation washed over him when he relived those scenes a second time with Severus witnessing.

The scenes came fast and furious. Severus witnessed the first punch Vernon Dursley had thrown at his son, right through to the broken nose at the end. He released Harry when the scenes from Privet drive ended. He turned on his heel and began to stalk across the bridge as he tried to regain control of his anger towards Dursley.

Harry followed silently behind. His face was reddened with shame over Severus witnessing everything that had happened to him. He wondered if the professor would lecture him for letting Vernon hurt him and not fighting back?

Severus finally felt more in control of his anger so he slowed down until Harry caught up with him. "May I heal your injuries?"

Harry nodded, tilting his head back so his father could mend the damage.

"Episkey," Severus said. Harry's nose was suddenly back to normal and the cut over his eye was gone as well. Before he could repeat the spell once more to heal the swollen lip, Severus felt a wave nausea and fell to his knees.

Harry caught his dad under the arms and helped him to sit down on a step. He crouched in front of Severus, studying the man with worry, "Maybe you shouldn't have used so much magic so soon after the memory spell."

Severus silently agreed. He had disregarded the stern warning from Madame Pomfrey earlier that day, cautioning him against using any magic at all. He could see how worried his son was and said, "I will be fine. Perhaps Madame Pomfrey should heal the rest of your wounds."

Harry shook his head, "I'd rather no one knew about my time with the Dursley's, if that's okay with you?"

Severus agreed, for purely selfish reasons. He did not want Poppy to find out he had used magic when he was expressly forbidden to do so by the overbearing medi-witch. "You need not tell anyone of where you have been," he agreed.

Harry offered a hand out to help his dad stand once more. They made their way up the front steps of Hogwarts just as the front door was thrown open.

Minerva had been waiting for their arrival, "Mr. Potter, it is good to see you home."

Harry nodded, "Thanks, professor. I'm glad to be back."

McGonagall stepped aside to let them pass, before stating, "You picked a good time to return since the students are still at supper. May I suggest you both get down to the dungeons before anyone sees you. The students have been very worried regarding your disappearance, Harry."

"Minerva, would you be so kind as to make an announcement that Harry has returned. I do not wish for him to be bombarded tomorrow morning when he makes an appearance at breakfast. Perhaps, you should suggest that the students not assail my son with questions?"

Minerva gave the professor a look of consideration, "Severus, you make a fine parent, indeed." She laughed at the scowl Severus gave her in return. "I shall make the announcement before supper ends."

"Fine," Severus stated, "We shall be on our way then."

Once they reached the quiet apartment, Severus threw off his cloak and grabbed hold of the carafe containing the brandy. Harry knew his father was still upset so he went straight to his bedroom. He was still wearing the bloody athletic pants from earlier that day, along with a bloodied t-shirt. He pulled the shirt over his head and saw the deep bruise on his side that wrapped around to his back. Dudley had managed to get a few good shots in during their match.

Before he had a chance to pull a fresh shirt over his head, he heard a knock on his door and Severus stepped in without waiting for an answer.

Severus came to an abrupt stop when he saw the condition Harry was in. His voice had an edge to it, "After witnessing your memories, I thought you might need this." He held out a small jar of healing cream. "I see the damage was much worse than I had suspected."

"It's not so bad," Harry said, taking hold of the jar. They stood in silence for a long moment before Harry finally spoke.

"I'm sorry, Severus."

Severus furrowed his brow and stepped closer to his son, "What did you say?"

Harry felt uneasy under that intense scrutiny, "I'm sorry. Maybe I should have taken care of Vernon on my own …you know, like you did." With forcefulness he added, "I wasn't afraid of him, just in case you think I was."

Severus had never felt so wretched in all his life. He should have known that Harry would misinterpret his anger. "Do you really believe I wished you to behave like me? That could not be further from the truth."

Harry shrugged. "You just seem disappointed. I want everything to be back to the way it used to be," he said, mentally kicking himself for sounding like such an insecure child.

"And you think that I would approve of you giving Vernon Dursley a sound thrashing?"

Harry shrugged again and wished he knew what Severus wanted from him.

Severus closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them he took hold of Harry's forearms and guided him to the bed. Harry sat down and Severus sat next to him.

"You must never let my influence pressure you into changing what you feel in your heart," He struggled with his next words, "You have an inherent decency to you that I can never hope to reclaim again. I lost that quality long before I ever attended Hogwarts. Your behavior was beyond exemplary these past few weeks, whereas my behavior was nothing more than barbaric at best."

Harry shook his head, "No, I think you're wrong. I think you're the most decent, trustworthy person I have ever known."

Severus took the healing cream from Harry's hand and uncapped the jar. He motioned for Harry to lie face down then began to attend to his son's wound.

Now that Harry had his head on the pillow and could no longer witness his expression, Severus continued once more, "I am well aware of the brusque manner in which I treat you. Even before I lost my memories, I was constantly fighting against my natural instincts to lash out at you for the smallest slip-up. There were many sharp admonishments that I forced myself to swallow. It is in my nature to see the worst in people, whereas your natural instinct is to see the best in everyone. You should never lose that quality, for it is truly rare."

Harry leaned up on one elbow and looked over his shoulder so he could see Severus' face, "Exactly where are you going with this, Severus? Because in my book I think you're wrong. Those sharp reprimands you gave me only make me feel like you're watching out for me and that you just want me to improve. If you hadn't of helped me through these past six months by believing in me, then I know for a fact that I wouldn't have survived Voldemort."

"Harry…" Severus felt his throat constrict with emotion. He blamed it on his weakened state and the recent memory spell.

Harry sat up and turned around, he took hold of his father's hand, "We might be different but it's those differences that make us appreciate each other and not take each other for granted. I needed a father in the worst way and I know now that you needed me too. That's all that really matters in the end."

Severus felt a strong swell of pride for this young man. He squeezed his son's hand, "Thank you for saying that. It means more than you know."

Harry smiled, "It's good to have you back, Dad."

Severus chuckled, "I was wondering when you would begin to call me that again."

The sound of the magical chimes interrupted them. Severus pulled his wand out and cast a reveal spell. His voice was tinged with extreme aversion when he stated, "I believe Narcissa Malfoy has come to pay a visit."

Harry flopped backwards onto his pillows and groaned.

Severus turned to look at him, "I gather you are not very fond of Mrs. Malfoy?"

Harry sat up, "She's okay, I guess."

"Yes, you sound quite captivated by the woman," Severus mocked.

"What difference does it make if I like her … I'm not the one snogging her," in a quieter voice, he added with a snigger, "amongst other things."

Severus narrowed his eyes at the teen, "You must remember that I was quite addled when I invited her to stay the night. I never would have done that had I been of sound mind. Nonetheless, it will not be happening in the future."

"You mean you don't like her anymore?" Harry asked with too much enthusiasm.

The floo chimes rang once more, this time with more instance. Severus waved his wand in the general direction of the floo, causing the chimes to silence. He leaned against the doorframe, "Am I to understand that you have no knowledge of who turned you over to Minister Fudge?"

"I thought the minister received the document I signed?"

"No he did not. Apparently, that owl of yours is wiser than any of us knew. She delivered your document to the headmaster's office instead of taking it to the ministry."

Harry's look of confusion deepened, "Then how did Fudge find out about the document?"

Severus waited for Harry to put the pieces together. He knew the moment the teen had figured it out by the deep scowl the boy now wore.

"That bitch!" Harry whispered.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "I must agree with your assessment of the woman. May I ask how Narcissa found out about the document?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, feeling quite uncomfortable, "She's the one who suggested I sign it."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, berating himself for allowing that woman into their lives. "I deeply regret leaving you alone with that woman. Please tell me she did not hurt you whilst I was under the memory spell?"

Harry turned his face away.

"Harry?"

"Well, she didn't exactly hurt me, but … well, she may have given me a bigger dose of sleeping potion then I was supposed to get. I was pretty out of it when Mad Eye came to get me."

"I'll kill her!" Severus growled out, tapping his wand against the palm of his hand with so much force that sparks flew out the end.

"Don't forget, she's also Draco's mum," Harry declared, trying to get his dad to calm down.

"Yes, well there is that," Severus said, realizing what Harry was doing. He did not want his son to see that rancorous side of himself that had been so blatantly displayed earlier. He took a deep breath and thought it best to deal with Narcissa in private.

He looked at Harry's anxious face and tried to placate him by changing the subject, "When was the last time you ate?"

"Breakfast, I think," Harry said with relief over getting off the subject of Narcissa Malfoy. "I feel like having pizza and cherry coke."

Severus grimaced, but nonetheless he called forth Dobby and made the request.

Ten minutes later, they sat in Harry's bedroom on the thick rug by the roaring fire, eating a cheese pizza and sipping upon fizzing cans of cherry Coca -Cola.

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Next chapter: Narcissa and the horcrux!