-145 - Acceptance

Harry felt as if he had barely closed his eyes when he heard a sharp knock on his bedroom door. Severus stepped into the bedroom and turned on the lights with a swish of his wand.

"Wake up, Harry. Class begins in less than half an hour," Severus said as he spelled the fire up to warm up the room.

Harry pulled the second pillow over and smashed it over his own head, "I'm tired. I don't think I'm going to school today." He closed his eyes and hoped his dad would take pity on him and leave him be.

Severus yanked down the warm blankets that had been covering his son, "Up, now. You are already behind in most of your classes and I'll not have you slipping further behind."

Harry barely opened his eyes as he groped around for the covers. He pulled the blankets back up over his shoulders and curled on his side as he grumbled out loud.

"Lemme sleep. What difference does it make if I fall behind?"

Severus was not going to allow Harry to have such a defeated attitude. He would not allow the boy to act as if he were going to die. He tugged on the covers once more before demanding, "I said up! It is your own fault you stayed out past curfew. Now, stop dawdling and get ready. Minerva is quite aware of your late night escapade and Transfiguration class begins in twenty two minutes."

Harry opened one eye to peer at his father, "How bout we make a deal? If you let me skip Transfiguration then I promise to catch up on all my studies."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, "The only deal I am willing to make is that you get up this instant or get a bucket of water over that thick head of yours."

Harry grumbled as he tugged the covers out of his dad's hand. "You wouldn't dare." He flopped back down on his pillow and closed his eyes once more.

"Very well," Severus said. He waved his wand.

Harry had his eyes shut when the bucket of cold water came splashing down on his head!

"Hey!" he yelled as he shot out of bed and grabbed for his wand. "What the …!"

"Accio Harry's wand," Severus said and grabbed the wand before his son could snatch it. "You are dripping on the carpet."

"Ha ha! You're just a barrel of laughs!' Harry growled as he shook his head. Drops of water splashed upon his dad. "Dry me," Harry demanded; quite aware of how belligerent he sounded.

"You have exactly eighteen minutes remaining before you are escorted to class in your pajamas."

"Shit," Harry said as he raced for the bathroom. He missed the raised eyebrow his dad gave him over his use of foul language.

Once he was standing under the warm shower, he let himself see the humor in the situation and began to laugh. He stopped laughing when Severus called to him through the closed bathroom door.

"Nine minutes and counting."

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Harry stepped into the Transfiguration classroom just as the bell rang. He was taking a seat next to Hermione when he saw Ron give him a reproving shake of the head. Harry furrowed his brow and mouthed the words "What's the matter?"

Ron scowled back at him and whispered, "Two thirty in the morning, Harry?"

Harry hadn't thought about the rumors his late night date might cause. He hoped Ginny's reputation didn't suffer because of it. He whispered back, "I fell asleep."

Ron rolled his eyes upwards just as McGonagall turned her attention towards them.

"Mr. Potter, would you care to share your discussion with the rest of the class?'

"No, Professor," Harry said, opening his Transfiguration book to the correct page.

"I should think not," she stated, giving him a disapproving look.

Harry's face heated up as several students snickered.

McGonagall shushed the class, then remembering the role the teen would play, her annoyed look suddenly turned to one of pity.

Harry scowled as he directed his gaze at his book once more. The last thing he wanted was pity from her, or from anyone!

A few minutes later he felt his scar begin to pulse. Oh shit, not now! He thought to himself. He could barely muster enough energy to cast the staunching spell as his nose started to bleed. Now that he knew what was happening, he could feel his magic being pulled away from him. Voldemort had somehow found a way to use their connection through the scar to steal his magic. He realized that all those nose bleeds and hemorrhages were being caused by Voldemort, not just by helping his dad. It occurred to him that Voldemort must have become aware of the times he was helping his dad with the memory spells and used that time to attack. It made perfect sense because those were the times when his Occlumency was at its weakest.

He was glad everyone had been watching McGonagall while all this was taking place. But when he looked at Hermione he saw her looking back at him with concern. He shook his head at her and tried to focus on the professor once more.

The class only got worse as he found out that simple spells were a struggle to perform. It took him twelve tries just to transform his chair into a small table. By the time he finally mastered the task he was perspiring and breathing as if he had just flown a match.

He wondered what Mad Eye Moody would have done to him if he was here. Moody had taught him much more complex transfiguration spells at the camp that had been easy to learn compared to this one.

"Harry, what's wrong?" Hermione asked. "Is this something to do with what happened with Voldemort yesterday?" She whispered the last part.

Harry shrugged, but he knew it had everything to do with Voldemort. Not only had that madman taken away his ability to fly but now even simple spells were becoming impossible. He knew he should go tell his dad but he didn't want to alarm the man so soon after everything that had happened yesterday.

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The next time Severus saw Harry was during lunch time in the Great Hall. He saw the teen walk into the room flanked by his usual group of Gryffindor friends. He also noticed students at the Slytherin table turn to look at Harry, then turn back around and whisper furiously. He was glad to have added the extra measure of security.

Harry had been unaware that he had been closely followed for the past few days by Dobby. The little elf had been warned to keep his presence unknown unless Harry were threatened or in any danger.

The Potion Master was observing his son and had just come to the conclusion that he would need to increase the boy's nutritional supplement, when Minerva tapped him on the shoulder.

"Severus, I must speak with you regarding, Harry," Minerva had a grim look on her face as she took a seat.

Severus turned all his attention towards his fellow professor, "Is there a problem?"

"Are you aware that he is struggling with the simplest of spells? By the end of class he was nearly shaking with the effort it took to perform a simple transformation."

Severus narrowed his eyes towards the boy. He had known that Harry could no longer fly but he hadn't thought to test the boy for simple spells. He silently berated his own stupidity and the imprudence of his son for not telling him.

"How did he react?" Severus asked.

"He tried not show just how much effort he was applying but I could tell he was on the brink of exhaustion by the time class ended," Minerva said, as she stared at the young man across the hall "What is happening to him, Severus?"

"I'm not certain but I intend to find out."

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Harry hated to admit how nervous he was to see Ginny again. Last night had been a bit uncomfortable with his denial to further their intimacy. It wasn't that he didn't want to do what she had wanted him to doit was more a matter of not doing it out of pressure. He didn't want his first time to be tainted in anyway by feeling as if it were 'now or never'. Beside the fact that he wasn't allowed to tell Ginny about this whole Horcrux thing.

Hermione and Ron were walking on either side of him on their way in to lunch. Ron still wasn't talking to him but Harry was heartened that his best friend still stood by his side.

Hermione was the first to spot Ginny at the long dining table. She called to her before Harry had even seen her. Ginny turned and called them over, forcing her friends to slide over on the bench and make room for her boyfriend.

"Hey, how's everyone doing?" Ginny asked, avoiding looking directly at Harry.

Harry could see her blush so he tried to make this as comfortable as possible, "Hi Gin." He leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips but she purposely turned her head and his lips landed on her cheek.

He touched her arm, forcing her to look at him.

"We're okay, aren't we?" He asked in a hushed whisper.

Ginny leaned in to whisper in his ear since most the people around them were trying to listen in. "We should talk…later."

They were abruptly interrupted by a deep voice coming from behind Harry.

"Mr. Potter, a word. Now," Severus ordered in a tone that brooked no room for argument.

Harry immediately stood up and followed his father out of the Great Hall. As soon as they were standing alone in an empty classroom, Severus pulled his wand out and warded the door with a privacy spell.

"What's going on, Dad?"

"I should hope you could answer that question yourself," came his dad's frosty response.

Harry's look of confusion forced Severus to prompt further. In a voice that conveyed exasperation, "I understand that you are having trouble performing simple spells. Had it ever occurred to you that I should be alerted to this quandary?"

"I was going to tell you…"

"When?"

Harry shrugged, thinking his dad was overreacting.

"You are aware that there are students in this castle that mean to do you harm if given the chance?"

"Yes, Sir."

"The Slytherin students have been celebrating all morning. Voldemort's return will be made public before long. I think it prudent to keep your lack of magical power a secret," Severus stressed.

Harry shook his head, "I don't think anyone noticed my inadequacy in class. Besides, what difference does it make?"

Severus stepped closer until they were mere inches apart, "It could be the difference between life and death!"

"Maybe you didn't hear Dumbledore yesterday but I don't think I have a choice between life and death!"

"You are wrong, Harry! Blast Dumbledore and his beliefs! You do not owe anyone anything! The wizarding world will just need to get by without you!"

"Dad," Harry stepped closer and put a hand to his dad's arm, "It's hard enough for me to have to accept my destiny without you denying it every chance you get."

"That does not have to be your destiny! " Severus snapped before turning away.

Harry had no idea that his dad was in such denial. It had been perfectly clear to him that Dumbledore thought there was no other option. He tried to keep his voice strong when he said, "It will only get worse, people will die …I don't have a choice."

"You always have a choice! I have not conceded. Your lack of trust in my determination is insulting."

Harry had never thought of what his acceptance with this situation was saying to his father. It was true though, he hadn't thought his dad could come up with anything to change this situation. Maybe he should put more trust in the person who vowed to watch out for him?

"I'm sorry. It's just really hard," Harry said to his father's back. "I just don't want to get my hopes up." He turned away and looked down, feeling like a failure on all counts. A moment later he felt a hand grip his shoulder and turn him around.

Seeing how disheartened Harry now was, Severus changed the subject.

"We should test your magical abilities before you attend class again. I do not want you to be wandering the halls without the ability to cast spells. I believe the Room of Requirement would best suit our needs."

Harry flushed to the root as he thought of his late night date in that very room.

Severus noticed and did not try to hide his smirk, "Let us hope it will have changed from last night."

"Dad!" Harry gave his dad a good-natured push as he followed him out of the classroom.

"Perhaps I should go in the Room Of Requirement first? I hardly think your bedroom would give us enough room to test your spells in." Severus smirked at the boy's obvious embarrassment.

Harry covered his face with both hands as he laughed, "Merlin, can't a guy catch a break around here?"

Severus chuckled, "Apparently not."

Harry was glad they were no longer arguing about the Horcrux. He still wasn't sure if he could let himself hope for something that may never happen though.

"I've gotta get my book bag. I left it in the Great Hall."

Once they reached the Great Hall, Severus pulled the door open. He did not feel comfortable having his son walk by the Slytherin table alone. "I'll walk in with you," he motioned for Harry to go in first.

They stepped back into the Great Hall just as numerous owls came flying through the windows with a special edition newspaper. Before Harry even reached the Gryffindor table he knew that something big had happened by the cries and shouts people gave when they unrolled the newspapers.

Severus stepped closer to his son when he noticed several students turning to look at Harry after reading the cover of the newspaper. He grabbed a copy of the paper out of Collin Creevy's hand. His heart stopped momentarily when he read the headline:

HE-WHO-SHALL-NOT-BE-NAMED HAS RETRUNED FROM THE GRAVE!

CAN HARRY POTTER SAVE US ONCE AGAIN?

The picture below the headline showed the dark mark floating over a Muggle home. The article went on to say that several witnesses had seen the Dark Lord with their very own eyes. Reporters were working frantically to find out how it had happened. A reward was being given for any information leading to an answer.

"Harry!" Ginny had stood up and pulled him towards her into a tight embrace.

Harry glanced around, noticing the hopeful looks people were giving him. When he looked up at the teacher's table he saw that most of the teachers had that same look.

He untangled Ginny's arms from around his neck and stepped back away from all those hopeful stares.

"Ignore them," Severus growled out. It was clear the boy was feeling responsible to save these people. He grabbed Harry's arm and hissed, "Stop looking at them!"

Harry obeyed, his gaze shifted to the floor. He let himself be steered out of the Great Hall, not even aware that his girlfriend was upset over his very public rebuff.

He couldn't think about anything other than how so many people were relying on him. What would happen if he were to fail? He breathed in deeply as he tried to calm his racing heart. His part was simple, he just had to stand there and let Voldemort kill him. He could do it, right? He had to do it; so many people needed him to do it

"No one has any right to look to you for anything! You're sixteen years old, for Merlin's sake!" Severus could see the boy drinking in all the guilt of the world for simply being alive. He stopped talking until they entered the Room Of Requirement.

His ire deepened at the thought of his son being expected to give up his life. His anger was mainly directed at Dumbledore. The Headmaster never should have told the boy anything to begin with.

The room altered into a long hallway with pads on the floor and walls. Once the door closed behind them, Severus turned and looked at his son. He could tell that Harry was wallowing in guilt by the way the boy's shoulders were hunched and his eyes remained on the floor.

"Raise your wand and ready yourself," Severus said with frustration. There was no reason the boy couldn't fight to live!

Harry slowly raised his wand, "Ready."

Severus nodded, and then sent a mild blasting curse towards the teen. Harry gave a halfhearted shout but his spell didn't manage to block anything.

The blast hit Harry on the side and his wand went clattering to the floor. He picked it up as he muttered something under his breath. This time he planted his feet more firmly and gathered as much magical energy as he could.

The next blast hit him square on the head, sending him back into the wall. He was grateful the stone walls were padded.

"Prepare yourself." Severus barked out in disappointment over the teen's lack of effort.

Once Harry had his wand at the ready, Severus sent a harsher blasting spell his way. Perhaps a bit of pain would help to motivate the boy.

"Ouch! Shit that hurt!" Harry rubbed his elbow.

"You are not even trying," Severus growled.

"It's no good. Can't you just accept the fact that I…"

Severus didn't let him finish that sentence, "No! Ready yourself!"

This time, Severus' blast was so strong that Harry landed on his backside. He stood back up with resentment beginning to mount, "I can't fight you! Just stop it already!"

"You had no problem blasting open my locking spell yesterday. Dig down deep and muster the magical energy to block this next hex. I guarantee you will not be happy to be hit by it," Severus said as he readied his own wand.

"No! You don't understand," Harry pleaded but his sentence was cut off as a blue ball of energy came hurdling through the air at him. He ducked but the ball hit the wall behind him and bounced back to hit his back. With a yelp of alarm he realized he was covered in tiny spiders. He frantically tried to dust them off but they continued crawling against his flesh.

"Finite!" Severus yelled in utter disgust, causing the tiny spiders to disappear.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Just stop!" Harry yelled.

In a fit of anger, Severus strode forward and shoved Harry up against the wall. He held him there as he took control of his ire.

Harry's head hit the padded wall, causing his head to throb. He looked into his father's eyes as he struggled to move away, "What the hell is your problem?!"

Severus leaned into the boy, pinning him with his weight, "I WANT YOU TO FIGHT! I want you to fight for your life! Since when does the ever famous Harry Bloody Potter just lie down and die!?!"

Harry struggled to break away, "Leave me alone!"

"No Harry! I'll not stand by and watch you surrender!"

"Stop it! I have to! Don't you get it!?! I have to die!!" Harry yelled, slamming his own head back against the wall in frustration. "I can't fight back, don't you bloody well get it? I can't let myself fight back. I have to do this!" He couldn't stop the tears that threatened to spill.

Severus froze, hands still holding Harry up against the wall. He could see the pain and determination in the teen's eyes. The boy had made up his mind.

Harry just felt so worn down and tired. He didn't have the energy to fight his father, he didn't have the energy to fight anyone. He slumped forward and wrapped his arms around his dad, hoping he would not be pushed away and forced to fight once more. "M'tired, dad, please, I'm so tired. Help me do it, please, help me."

The heaviness in Severus' heart was overwhelming. He slowly circled his arms around his son. A strong measure of guilt washed over him for trying to force the boy into fighting. He held him as he came to terms with the future his son would face. He knew the boy would insist on ending the war. He knew that it was no use trying to get Harry to change his mind. The poor boy had been raised to be sacrificed. It was so ingrained in Harry's upbringing that there was no way Severus would be able to talk him out of doing what was expected of him.

He tightened his hold, pressing that messy mop of hair against his chest. After a long moment he whispered, "I am here. I will help you prepare."

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Hi friends,

Sorry for the delay in getting this out to you but I ended up in the hospital. So, here I sit with nothing much to do and a very weak internet signal. I'm bored out of my mind so if you get a chance drop me a line.

Thanks,

Rachel