Was it really this time of year AGAIN? I mean where did the last six months go?!You know what I'm talking about right?Well I will give you a few hints.It involves carving faces into Jack o Lanterns, dressing up,oh and a shit-ton of candy.
I love Halloween .More than Christmas .More than birthdays .More than Easter or Valentine's .
I mean who in their right mind would choose having a heap of soppy presents over scaring little kids for fun?
My house at Halloween looks amazing.And this year I planned to throw the greatest Halloween party ever.Last year had been good but this year would be a million times better .
I had been so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed Sikowitz asking me so many questions.
"So Jade ,can you elaborate on what I just said please?"
I was distracted by a snake in a cowboy hat that lay on his desk.
"Whats'...you know what nevermind".
He made a buzzer noise . "Nooope"."Wrong answer".
"Well why is there a cowboy snake on your desk?"
Tori looked across at me and laughed .
"Yeah..do we even want to ask?"
"Theres' a snake in ma boot"someone from the other end of the classroom shouted.
Rex.Of course.
"Heh". I shot a glare at the awkward curly haired boy holding his stupid urban puppet in the air.
"I reckon Rex needs a Halloween makeover " I said,smirking at him.
"Enough!" Sikowitz yelled. You teenagers are becoming far too distracted by unnecessary things in this classroom".
Andre nodded."Yeah,and that's supposed to be OUR dang fault?
We all decided to join in.
"You're always bringing COCOnOOts"Cat said.
"It's coconuts,silly kitty".I slapped her on the shoulder.
"Ohmygodwhatwasthatfor?"
Beck pushed his fluffy hair back."The animal has a point" .
"Hey guys!" Guess what I'm going to be for Halloween !"Cat looked at us all with big black eyes as she reached into her burgundy backpack,retrieving a pink gift bag with some item of clothing inside.
"Look at it ! Hahahhahaha!"
From the bag emerged an all in one candy floss pink catsuit complete with a tail , paws,ears, whiskers and a pink nose.
"I love it so much im going to put it on right now!"
I leaned back in my chair .
"Jade jade jade tori tori tori !"She kept hitting us hoping it would make us get out of our chairs and go after her.
"Where are you going ,miss Valentine?" Sikowitz patted the snake on his desk as he watched the overexcitable girl slowly back out of his classroom holding her cat costume.
"No...noooowhere!"
"Cat..get back here!"
We could all hear Cats voice from the corridor as she ran along "I'm running awayyyyy!!!!"
Tori and me exchanged glances. "Sikowitz can we go get Cat?"We said it simultaneously ,our teacher shook his head .
"Fine . Just be back in the next ten minutes".
"I need the bathroom" I pointed out.
"Make it fifteen ".
Me and Tori had to run round all over the school calling "Cat" really loudly.
"Where on earth did she get to?"
"I don't know".
"Cat!" "Cat!"
We kept calling her name as we went in and out of different rooms ,disturbing lessons ,being chased by angry teachers .
Finally we saw a trail of bibble pieces leading to the girls bathroom.
I smirked. "Here kitty kitty".
"Meoooooowww!" was the very unrealistic cat voice that returned.
Closing the door ,we continued to follow the bibble trail to an occupied cubicle.
"Cat" I said gently knocking on the door. "Are you in there?"
"Cats not here!" "Just a giant bag of black and orange bibble".
"Open this fucking door!"
"I'm peeeing !"
We waited a minute to hear the toilet flush but it didn't . What on earth as she doing?
"Hahahhaha!"
Tori raised an eyebrow . "Are you coming out Cat ?"
She swung open the door ,smashing it into my nose which started to bleed.
"Tadaddadadda!"
I lost it . "CATARINA VALENTINE LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE !"
She pranced about in her stupid costume , cute as ever but all fluffy and pink which made my skin crawl.
"I'm sorry Jadey !" She wrapped her pink arms around me .
"Do you like my costume!"
Tori helped me clean the blood out of my nose .
"Here".
Halloween bibble pieces tipped out of the bag Cat had been holding ,causing a black and orange flood across the bathroom floor.
"NOoOOoOOo my BIBBLE!"
Tori bent over to pick up the bibble leaving me to see to my injured nose .
"So so do so you like it ?" Cat asked again,smiling like a child.
"Its cute ...in a sick making sort of way" I said honestly. "If you like all that fairy nonsence".
Tori scooped some bibble up into her hands and tossed it into the bin as a ginger haired girl walked past ,looking confused.
She stepped into the same cubicle Cat had just used and I went into the one next to it .
"Tori do you like my cat costume?"
I could hear Tori from outside the door saying "Tres Chic, Cat".
"No ablo espagnole" she replied in a poor Spanish accent.
This amused me the fact Tori was half Latina ,not half French.
Cat obviously had no idea what Tori had just said but my helpful applause meant that she realised it was positive.
"Hey did you notice that espagnole sounds a lot like spag bole".She started a laughing fit that went on for ages . "You know one time ,my brother was eating spagetti and he.."
"Ooooookayyyy"I said,knowing this story would be both stupid and probably a complete lie.
Me and Cat had been best friends since the 7th grade,after having a shot at the Broadway musical ,"Thirteen".
And now we were both 17 years old .I had been round hers many many times and never once seen a brother.
Cat had the mental age of a two year old but that's why we loved her.
"Tori says it looks like a unicorn threw up all over you " I lied .
Cat squeaked, covering her face with her white paws.
"Jade!" "I said it looks very fashionable".
"Yayyyy!"
"So...want to know what I'M wearing for Halloween?"
I pulled out my phone which was already switched on,typed in my pin number to unlock the screen and showed my friends my planned costume.
"That's a lovely wedding dress"."Why did you put ketchup all over it",Cat said as batted her nose with her paws playfully .
I rolled my eyes."Oh Cat".
Tori just stared at the screen."I..is that really yours?"
"Yes"."Is my Vega getting a bit turned on with the thought of me in a bloody wedding dress?"
Without waiting for a reply I felt like boasting a bit.
"This dress belonged to the actress Bryony Mcdonald who played Tawny Weaver in The Scissoring."
"You stole that girls' dress"."How could you Jade!"
Poor innocent Cat ,so sweet but not all there.
I had to practically prise Toris' eyes off my phone screen to get her to look at me.
"West got your tongue,Vega?"
Well I would have her tongue later. In more places than just my mouth. Erasing the dirty thoughts from my mind ,I decided we should head back to class.
The bell rang for break.We all congregated around the usual table .
"Halloween Checklist " Tori said proudly,presenting a small blue notebook which she opened and immediately flipped a page over .
"Pass me a pen Jade".
I felt inside my pockets ,pulling out three pairs of scissors and an old candy wrapper.
"Sorry babe" .
Tori sighed."Beck do you have a pen?"
"Why don't you ever bring your own pens ?"
I took a sip of coffee casually ."Tori has pens..I've seen them in her bedroom".
"Jade!"
"Oh I bet you have " Robbies dumb puppet was back again .
I took control .
Rex suddenly flew through the air and landed on another table ,splashing people with cheese sauce .
Tori looked bewildered.
"So where were we".
She gestured to Beck for a pen . He sighed heavily before passing it to her.
"Right,this is what we have so far"."The party will be at Jades' house ,we will all come dressed up ,Cat wants to bring her cuddly spiders Blueberry and Apricot. Anything anyone wants to add?"
"Black balloons " I suggested.
"Excellent ". We watched her write it down.
"Jack o Lanterns",Wahoo Punch,spooky sausage rolls".
Cat wrote down toffee apples then proceeded to draw a massive apple over the top of Toris' writing.
Beck thought about cobwebs.
I took a note of my burrito."Whats' everyone wearing?"
I could hardly hear myself think over all the noise of people's Halloween masks and CDS .
"Jade is going as the Horny Weaver",Cat announced in front of everyone.
"Its Tawny "i corrected her.
The red head suddenly zoned out,staring into space .
"Cat".
"MEOoOooOoooEWWW".She jumped out of the seat ,alarmed.
After reading everybody's contributions,I crossed through a few things that were written twice and added several items to the bottom.
"Here you are,dearest girlfriend".
"A severed head ?!" Tori spat her blue raspberry smoothie everywhere.
Six shocked faces turned to me.
Andre took the list from Tori. "Jade..this stuff is gonna cost a bomb".
"Well I have all this " .
We nearly all blew out of our seats as the screechy voice of Toris' sister travelled across the table .
"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!"
"What's Trina doin with a claxon ?" Andre asked impatiently,rubbing his ear.
I smirked. "What claxon?"
Trina Vegas' fucking voice was louder than a siren, a foghorn and a claxon all sounding at once.
"Do you guys LOVE my costume".Trina shoved me out of my seat to make room for her ginornous ass that seemed to act as a weapon every time she wanted our attention.
And it made me want to staple the girls' mouth shut.
The costume did look good on her ,but i couldn't help wondering what it would look like with my fingernails torn down the sides .
"Jade you don't have to sit on the floor" she said ,playing with her light brown locks .
"I like it on the floor".
Tori continued to ask around for ideas.
"Can we get some lollipops" Trina whined.
"Yeah..and some duct tape!" I responded ,with a dark laugh.
Beck and Andre leaned in to look at the list .
"Whos gonna be there?"
"Meeeeee!" A small white paw was raised.
"And me ".
"And me .Heh"
That was enough time spent on the floor. I got up and told everyone to look up at the sky.
"Oh... wow look at that fine bird",I said through gritted teeth.
"Hey ...I don't see no bird".Andre looked disappointed.
"I see a fine bird " . Rex AGAIN.How did Robbie get him off that other table and cleaned up so quickly ?
"Shut your mouth Puppet!"
Trinas chair toppled over as my hands went against it forcefully .
"Now we'll see how fun it is on the floor".
Tori cleared her throat . "Jade ,what do you think of this" .
Taking the list from her,I frowned as I studied it from top to bottom ,crossing off two names of people I didn't like.
"Now it's perfect" .
"What about the icarly kids?" Cat asked. "It was really cool getting to meet them last summer!"
We hadn't seen Sam ,Spencer,Carly and Freddie since the time they cane to Kenan Thompsons party and we found out that a girl Tori had been dating was dating Carly as well.
It was a great party..lots of things went hilariously wrong like Sinjin falling into the jacuzzi while me and Tori were in there.
And the sing off at the end had been amazing ..plus we had exposed that girl Stephanie for the cheating liar she really was.
"Yeah that'd be cool" I said honestly.
Cat giggled ."I think I have a little crush on Freddie".
"Well Freddie is dating Sam as far as we know ..."
"But hey you know Gibby is single".
We all scoffed. "YEAH".
Breaktime ended.I ate the last bit of burrito then grabbed my bags .
"Come on babe " I said to Tori.
Andre,Cat and Beck all walked off together.
Robbie looked sad.
"What's wrong ?" Tori asked him .
"I really like Cat ...I have done since the 8th grade,but she doesn't see me as anymore then a friend. .."
"Oh well I'm sure she likes you too".
"I don't think so "."She's way out of my league".
"No no you two are a match made in heaven"I admitted. "I mean ,look at me and Tori " ."The two girls who went from wanting to kill each other to making out in janitors closets and sharing beds!"
Tori gave me a kiss on the cheek ."I never wanted to kill you,babe".
We let Robbie walk to class with us ,carrying that stupid puppet .
At the end of the day I got the list off Tori and made a LOT of phonecalls ,left voicemails and sent emails and tweets all over .
Scissor girls' latest update:Halloween party at mine tonight !Anyones invited ,it's 7-10 pm ,bring snacks and wear a creepy costume
Feeling :spooky
An hour later my inbox was blowing up with messages from people all over L.A and the icarly gang had responded saying they were coming .
I called Tori ."hey ,looks like we've got 67 out of 75 guests coming?"
She gasped."How many?" "I thought this was a small party!"
"Small enough"."I emptied a packet of bibble into a plastic ornage bowl with a spider on it.
"So how's the decorating going,babe?"
"Not too bad"."I've just got the last few things to put up..the snacks are nearly done and I'm going to get some more ketchup ...anything you'd like from Walmart I gotta go drive over there and i should be back in about 2 hours. Think you can come over and help ?"
"Yeah..sure"."Are you in costume?"
"No Vega not yet ,but you will see me in costume later".
She made stupid kissing noises .
"Don't be such a child" I scolded her.
"I love you Jadey come on baby say it back you know you love me too".
I blushed hard. "No I ..I gotta go".
"Don't go until you say it" her voice changed and she got more possesive.
"I don't completely hate you too".
"Jade come on just.."
I forced the call to stop,throwing my phone into the couch then getting my car keys . Tucking Toris' list into my pocket I set off to Walmart.
Toris' POV
How was I going to get to Jades' house. I still couldn't drive .Oh man Tori why are you still having your parents ferry you round all the time when you have your own two legs and money ,you could catch a cab for once .
The thought had just crossed my mind.
I looked at my phone sitting on the tv stand .Hmm.
Jades' POV
"That's everything" I paid for my ten bags of shopping and left ,bundling all the bags into a trolley as i made my way out of the bustling store.
I couldn't believe how much damn money I'd spent today , I was going to be broke for weeks.
Night fell. I finished hanging the last spider from above my front door then went back inside to get changed into the dress .
I thought about how everyone would look in their costumes.Robbie was awkward as fuck but I think he would make a great Harry Potter,for someone who was a geek he sure had a lot of confidence.And he did try hard to fit in. If anyone didn't fit in it was me.I mean I did act as a slightly erratic mother to Cat ,Tori was like the sister i never had ,Beck could be a jerk but he was still my friend ,Robbie was like an awkward little brother,and Andre was like the dad,a gentle giant .
And Trina was the ugly sister..literally.
We were all just one big dsysfunctional family .
"Happy Halloween!" I smiled at the six spooky faces staring back at me.First was Cat in her kitty costume,bouncing around and meowing as she landed on me for a big hug.
"Jadeyyyyyy!"
I peered over Cats' head to see my girlfriend wearing a long almost see- through white top with dark orange stripes across the chest and her sleeves . Directly under was a tight black school skirt that hugged her asscheeks and sat perfectly round her waist.
What made my mouth water was the pale orange stockings she sported.
"Wow you look great" I managed to get out.
I could tell she likes what she saw too,the hazel eyes bulging out of their sockets as she got a face full of cleavage .
Everything including her chocolate hair and caramel skin was splattered in fake blood,just like me.
"I love your dress". She swallowed as I swung my silver scissors around ,throwing them up before catching them again in my black nails.
"Thaaaaaanks"."So what do you want to do first?"
Tori nodded towards the bucket of fresh red apples ."Do you have a blindfold?"
"I have everything " I replied secretively .Tori blushed at that and got down on her knees to try out the Apple bobbing ,I instructed Cat to put on some spooky music while I went to get the blindfold.
Soon the sound of the doorbell being rang ,which was the sound of a dying child,could be heard from downstairs as some more of my HA friends turned up .
I found the blindfold amongst all my scissors and screwdrivers then brought it down the stairs, stepping over the Halloween tinsel .
A huge roar came from outside.
"Gah ...please don't hurt me!" Andre put his white painted hands out defensively .
I have to say that Robbie made the best Harry Potter ever,and he even put a long nose on Rex to make him look like Dobby the house elf!
Sam Puckett and Freddie Benson walked past . Freddie was looking scarily hot as a vampire ,his black hair all gelled up and spiky ,a long black cape hung from his shoulders and his face was white except for the dark circles below his eyes.Some "blood" dripped out the side of his mouth and I was impressed at what an effort he had made .
"I will suck your blood in 5..4..3..2" he said jokingly ."Happy Halloween Jade".
"Happy Halloween to you too Freddie" .I shook his hand. Sam pushed past me "Hi Jade".
She appeared to be wearing a giant belt attached to a tubba chicken.I scoffed ."Wow some effort you made Samantha".
She shrugged and took a bite of chicken .
"Carls get out here!" Slowly a smaller thinner girl entered the house ,her huge witches hat hitting the doorframe.
"Whoops!"
"Hi Jade ,hi Cat and and Andre . It's so good to see you all again !"Her slightly annoying squeaky girls voice echoed around the area as she hugged each of us .
"Where's Beck and Tori?"
Tori got up off her knees."Carly !" "I haven't seen you in forever!"
I stood with my arms folded .A handsome wolf boy pounced through the door nearly knocking me over.
"Beck !""Cut it out!"
"I'm sorry" he patted me on the shoulder with a big hairy hand ."Good job decorating by the way ,looks like its gonna be a great party".
Once everyone was inside we started dancing and singing along to the CD .
Tori got the idea to pretend we were all up on stage singing live ...so we want round the house finding things to use as microphones.
"Look here's a hairbrush" Tori exclaimed .
Carly got my broomstick and pretended to ride it around the house .
"Hahahahahhahaha look at Carly" Cat decided to get on all fours and chase after her.
Soon we stood in my lounge ,dancing the night away .
Jade:Let's do the time warp agaaaaaaain...
Tori:Let's do the time warp agaaaaain..
Robbie:it's just a jump..to the left
Cat:another step to the riiiiiight..
Andre:put your hands on your hips..
Rex:and pull your knees in tight hehe
Beck:But its the pelvic thrust...
All:that really drives you insaaaaaane
Freddie:Let's do the time warp again...
Sam:Let's do the time warp again...
The next track started playing.
Jade:When there's something strange ..in your neighbourhood..
Freddie:who you gonna call?
Everyone:GHOSTBUSTERS!
Dundun..dundun..dundun..dudududududn..dududududn..dudududududn
Sam:I ain't afraid of no ghost
Cat:i ain't afraid of no ghost (miaoooow!)
Tori:Don't get caught alone no no
Carly:i ain't afraid of no ghost
Carly and Sam:we ain't afraid of no ghost !
After about five songs,we went to get some spooky food . Everyone's faces lit up like Christmas trees when they saw the selection of treats i had put put out.
Sam stuffed some bibble inside her tubba chicken .
"Yeah mama want sum a dat".
Carly politely got a plate and filled it with snacks,laughing at the sausage roll mummies I spent ages making.
"This is amazing Jade!""So you did all this yourself?"
I poured myself a glass of Vimto of "Dracula blood" as I christened it that night.
"My baby helped me out ".
"Beck?"She smiled .
"Nope".
"Then who,?"
Carly started guessing names of boys. No,no no and definetly no to Sinjin.
I licked my lips and winked at Tori,smearing my lipstick round my mouth .
Tori bit her bottom lip and blushed.
"You two!" "So you're a lesbian?" Carly looked like she had just seen a ghost .
I frowned ."Is that a problem ,little miss perfect?
"No actually ,I'm actually ...I like girls in that way as well.."she hid her little hands behind her back. "And you're hotter than hell but I already have a girlfriend."
At that moment ,Sam clumsily walked past us with a face full of bibble .
"Anyone want this chicken?""It's free?"
I shrugged."Thanks".
"You alright Carls?" She grabbed Carly by the waist and pulled her up into her lap ,then started giving her sloppy kisses on the lips .Carly seemed to be moaning into the kiss as she cupped Sams' face then took out a chicken puck and fed it to her pulling both their lips apart.
"Iam now".
"How long has this been a thing?" I asked curiously.
Sam licked her fingers after she'd finished messily eating ."Dunno,since Carly came back from Italy".
Carly nodded in agreement .
I went to sit at the long table I had set up for our dinner but looking around people were just sat anywhere .
"Hey wheres your bathroom" a random kid in a bat costume asked me .
I pointed to the left ."Thank you "he said smiling .
"Hows the food guys?"At the table were Tori ,Beck,Andre,Cat and Robbie with Freddie and Rex .
"Hey where's Gibby and Guppy?"Tori asked .
"Oh yeah!"
"Nevermind that "."My room after this for spooky storytime ".
"Y ..your room?" Freddie asked nervously ."Is it full of guilletines and axes and knives?"
I laughed."No !" Well,no to the axes and guilletines but yes to the knives".
"Awwww I'm dead".
We all sat bunched up like little bugs on the cushions upstairs ,Cat stroking Blueberry with Apricot close by . I crouched down by all my friends .
"So let me tell you about the mystery of the Dome" .
I started telling them all this creepy story about how a town called Chesters Mill ended up being trapped inside a gigantic dome with magical powers which killed some of the townspeople and led to another mysterious world ,involving a series of adventures such as finding purple eggs and people being reincarnated .
By the time I had finished every person had disappeared under a blanket ,excluding the equally psycotic Sam who had widened eyes and a tongue hanging out the side of her mouth .
"Is it over?" I heard Cat say . "And did the cow REALLY get sliced in half?"
"Can we come out now".
I sighed. "Yeah okay guys come on out".
And Cat ,I growled menacingly ,"cows get killed all the time ,GET USED TO IT you VEGAN".
Cat squeaked sadly and rolled onto her back . "Miaoww miaoww".
I was about to begin another gruesome story based on a woman who married her dead boyfriends corpse when we were plunged into darkness .
"Jade ! This isn't funny", cried Freddie .
Even I felt a bit scared with this being the 31st of October, anything could happen.
Always expect the unexpected .
"Who turned out the fucking lights!!!!!"
I jumped on top of all the other girls ."Ahhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhhhh!"
Suddenly a bright light appeared blinding the 10 of us .
"Happy birthday!"
There was a kid in a dinosaur costume stood on top of a stool and I had no idea who it was ,but Freddie did.
"Ahah!""We know it's you Guppy!"
"Guppy?"
Beck sighed ."I'll get the lights".He scrambled over to the bedroom door and flicked on the switch.
"Thanks for making me go blind!" Trina screamed impatiently .
When we could actually see , I made an attempt to grab Guppy and pull off his dumb dinosaur costume but he blew rasperries at me and ran away .
"Hey get back here!"
We made it to the top of the stairs where an overweight pumpkin was coming up the other way .
"Guppy?" He asked in a familiar voice.
The pumpkin removed his lid hat and there was the face of Gibby . "Hey scary Hollywood Arts Girl" he joked ."Party's a lot of fun, good job".
I smirked. "Thanks Gib,now please take your pinhead brother away from me before everyone gets to see his little bare butt ".
Gibby smiled."sure ,come on Mr happy birthday "he held out his hand which Guppy took hold of and walked off with him .
Back in my room ,everyone was fast asleep. I rolled my eyes and kissed each one of the girls on the forehead,and Tori on the lips . Cat was snoring gently as she dreamt of unicorns and rainbows ,Sam probably dreaming of fried chicken and fat cakes,Carly maybe thinking of her future with Sam and Freddie hoping Carly would dump Sam for him .
What a crazy world we all lived in.This had been a great party though ,the best I've had in years and i think everyone has enjoyed it even though it didnt exactly go to plan but a had all had a blast.
And the costumes were all amazing ! I think that Spencer looked pretty cool as a zombie even if all he had to do was use a burnt old t shirt and put on some makeup to make him look spooky.
I didn't fancy trying to explain the concept of furries to Cat ..which was what she would be seen as being almost an adult now.
Nonetheless it had been a creeptastic halloween.Probably the best I ever had I might say.And now i suppose we have Christmas to look forward to ...