-156 - Promises

Harry knew he was in the throes of a nightmare but he couldn't find a way to wake himself up. He kept telling himself that he shouldn't panic; he was just caught up in one of those weird dreams that rendered you helpless, unable to move. He was being chased by that dreadful spider from Voldemort's lair. No matter which way he turned he couldn't find a way to escape. When he finally gave up and turned to face the spider, he was finally able to move and wake himself up.

He took in a sudden breath as his eyes flew wide open. He was covered in sweat from head to toe and he could barely manage to catch his breath. He was relieved to see everything in the infirmary was quite. He looked to his side and saw that his dad had returned from the ministry and had fallen asleep in a chair next to the bed.

Severus looked to be caught up in his own nightmare as he frowned deeply in his sleep.

Harry immediately took notice of his dad's bloody, raw knuckles. He wondered who had been at the other end of that beating.

He was momentarily startled when he looked up and saw his dad looking back at him.

"Are you in pain?" Severus asked, leaning forward to place a hand on Harry's forehead when he saw how clammy his son appeared. He pulled his hand back when Harry twisted out of his reach.

They looked each other in the eye for a moment before Severus stood up and reached for a vial on the nightstand.

"Don't bother," Harry said, "I'm tired of feeling so drugged up. I don't like feeling that way."

Severus was relieved that Harry was at least talking to him. He placed the vial in his pocket, "Perhaps it is for the best, since we will be leaving shortly. In any case, I would like you to take a potion to help with the pain you must be feeling."

"Will it make me tired?"

"Not this one," Severus said, rummaging through the potions on the nightstand once more, until he found the correct vial. He held it out, studying the boy to see just how much pain he was trying to hide.

Harry reached out a shaking hand, "When are we leaving? I'd like to shower first."

"As soon as you are ready. I've already had the elves bring a change of clothes up for you."

Harry studied his dad's bloody knuckles once more, "Who'd you beat up?"

Severus immediately crossed his arms, hiding his hands in the folds of his sleeves. He berated himself for forgetting to heal his hands and clean up a bit.

"That is not your concern," Severus rebuked. Then wanting to change the subject, he asked, "Shall I help you to the shower?"

Harry ignored the extended hand and struggled to sit up on his own. He wondered how he was supposed to make it all the way to the train station in his weakened condition.

Severus grasped the boy's arm, tightening his hold when the teen tried to shake him off.

"Don't fight me, Harry. I can not risk having you injure yourself."

Harry resented the fact that he needed so much help but he grasped his dad's arm since his legs did feel unsteady.

Severus held tightly as they slowly made their way to the bathroom. Once inside, he turned on the shower, "I promised, Madame Pomfrey that I would not leave you unattended."

Harry held onto the counter, "I want to be alone."

Severus did not want to risk upsetting the teen, especially since there was so little time left before the train departed. He left Harry with a curt nod and a warning, "Call Madame Pomfrey, should you feel unsteady."

Harry waited until his dad was gone before he began to undress. He was shocked to see how pale his skin was. He stood in front of the full length mirror, mortified at how sickly and weak he looked. His pale skin reminded him of the pictures he had seen of Vampires. in a dark arts book back at Grimmauld Place. He ran a hand down his chest, thinking how repulsed Ginny would be if she could see him now.

Looking in the mirror reminded him of his mum being trapped in the Mirror of Erised. He reached a hand out and placed it flat against the cool mirror. His mum had looked so young, like she must have looked at the time of her death. He had so few memories of her that even this memory would be a cherished one, even if it was a terribly sad one.

Overcome with grief, Harry leaned his forehead against the cool surface, "I'm so sorry, Mum." He'd lost so much to get to this point. He'd lost almost everything that mattered. He tried not to wallow in self pity but it was hard not to feel so exploited. The people closest to him had paid heavy price.

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Severus rechecked his satchel filled with the potions his son would require while they were away. He added a few more vials of Dreamless sleep, before closing and then storing the satchel. He held his hands out in front of him to inspect his handiwork. There were no signs of bruising or redness left on his knuckles. After a quick gaze at his reflection in the bedroom mirror, he grabbed up his trunk and cloak before heading into the floo.

He was surprised to find Harry ready and sitting on his infirmary bed. The boy looked sickly and weak, his skin so pale you could see his veins. Worse yet, the boy looked defeated, with head hung and an overwhelming sadness to him.

Severus sighed, Merlin, his heart ached for the teen. He stepped closer, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder.

Harry shrugged the hand off his shoulder and sat up straighter on the bed, "It's time to leave then?"

"I've brought your heavy cloak, the one lined with fur," Severus replied, waiting for the boy to stand before throwing the garment over the boy's shoulders. He closed the silver clasp on the front, then looked into the teen's eyes. He was startled to see such tremendous grief in the boy's eyes. "I promise you, son, things will get better."

Harry held his hands up, exposing the bracelets, "If I swear to you that I'll be good, could you please take these off of me? I promise I won't get angry or do anything bad," he pleaded.

"Harry, it is not as simple as that. I would like nothing more than to remove these," Severus benevolently answered as he took hold of both the boy's hands. "It would not be wise to take such chances."

Harry ripped his hands away from his dad, pulling them within his cloak as they began to ache. He stepped around Severus with a huff of irritation, "I knew you wouldn't help me. I knew you wouldn't understand how miserable they make me feel!"

"I regret …," Severus began to say before Harry rudely cut him off.

"Just save it! I don't need to hear it!"

"Depending on how cooperative you are on the train," Severus continued as if he hadn't been interrupted, "I will remove the bracelets once we reach the safe-house, but only for a short period. They are siphoning Voldemort's magic from your own. You should be quite grateful that we were able to obtain such rare artifacts," Severus admonished.

"Oh sure, I'm just jumping with fucking joy," Harry shot back in a most cynical tone.

"Harry," Severus cautioned in a warning tone, "Behave yourself. This sort of behavior will not earn you time without the bracelets."

Harry frowned deeply but kept his mouth shut since he really did want to get the dreaded bracelets off.

He followed his dad out the infirmary doors. The staircases must have been spelled to remain still, for which he was most grateful. By the time they were on the last staircase, he was winded and his bones were aching. Again, he wondered how he would make it all the way down to the train station.

Once they were almost at the main doors he saw the assembly waiting for them. Madame Pomfrey, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Mrs. Weasley, Tonks and Shacklebolt. He tried not to feel too disappointed that Remus had yet to make an appearance. He couldn't blame Remus for being too angry to come visit him after what he had done to the man's best friend.

He kept his gaze pointed at his shoes and his hands under his cloak, as he was grabbed up into a fierce hug by Mrs. Weasley. Everyone took turns coming up and hugging him, offering words of encouragement and praise for a job well done. Just when he didn't think he could stand to be the center of such concern, his dad stepped forward and put an abrupt end to all the fussing.

"Come, Harry. We haven't much time to get to the train station."

Harry was relieved when his dad grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Dumbledore's firm embrace. He was still bothered by being manipulated for so many years without a care being given to his well being. His long lonely hours spent recovering in the infirmary had been filled with thoughts of 'what could have been', if only the headmaster had seen fit to check on him. He knew he needed to get his anger for the old man under control but it would take time.

He looked up, just before stepping out the heavy doors, to see such worry amongst all the adults. He wished he hadn't seen the tears in Ms. Weasley's eyes.

They walked out of the courtyard and towards the bridge. Just as they were passing under a lantern, Severus pointed up towards the Astronomy Tower, "Look up there, Harry."

Harry looked up, "What the eff are they doing?!" The Astronomy Tower had a large banner with the words," We Love You, Harry!" There were at least fifty students up there dancing and having great fun.

The distinct voice of Ginny could be heard floating down from the tower, "I'll miss you, my heart throb!"

Harry smiled. He threw a fist up in the air causing the group to shout even louder. He couldn't help but to feel a pang of jealousy that he wasn't up there with them.

"Your friends are truly dedicated to you," Severus said, as another round of streamers rained over the edge of the Astronomy Tower.

"Yeah. They sound like they're having fun," Harry replied, having a hard time hiding how envious he was feeling.

Severus looked into his son's face, "It is almost over. One day you will feel just as carefree."

Harry snorted in response. He had never felt like a normal teenager and he doubted he ever would have that luxury.

"Do not doubt my words, Harry," Severus assured, "It is my one and only objective."

"Well, good luck with that," said Harry with cynicism. He shook his head as if the very idea was ludicrous.

They walked over the bridge in silence, both lost in their own thoughts. They stopped walking when they came to the downward slope of the icy hill leading to the gates.

"Do you feel strong enough to walk? I could carry you," Severus offered, alarmed at Harry's shaky stance.

Harry's pride was the only thing holding him back from taking up his dad's offer. He shook his head and kept walking. He stumbled twice but was caught by his dad's strong hands both times.

When they finally neared the gates, Severus pulled out Harry's invisibility cloak, "I am not certain how your cloak will react with the bracelets. Hold onto my arm, should you require assistance. You only need to wear it until we pass the people camping out at the gates. I will use an invisibility charm on myself."

The moment the cloak was thrown over Harry's shoulders, he felt a sharp pain pulsing through the bracelets. He had never thought the cloak had dark magic in it but apparently there was a great deal mixed in with the powerful fabric.

He winced in pain and was grateful his dad couldn't see him like this.

Even at this late hour, there were a great number of people still camped out at the gates. He wondered what they were waiting for. The atmosphere was jovial, with many wizards and witches celebrating. Magical steamers and balloons were decorating the surrounding trees.

Harry barely made it through the throng of people without collapsing in pain. The moment they turned the corner and were out of eyesight, he threw the cloak off and fell to his knees. A second later his dad threw of his invisibility charm and knelt beside him.

Harry sat back on his heels as he pulled his wrists to his chest, "Get that cloak away from me!"

Severus snatched up the cloak and stuck it in his satchel. As soon as the satchel was closed, he could see the pain begin to ebb away from his son, "Better?"

Harry breathed in deeply, concentrating on the icy cold air as it burned his lungs. He rolled to the ground and onto his back. "I just need a minute," he said, noting the bright stars out and having a deep urge to fly once again.

Severus sat down in the snow next to his son. He knew another offer to carry the boy would be refused. He could see the boy staring up at the stars with tears in his eyes. It bothered him greatly to see such grief in the young man.

"I'll probably never get to fly again," Harry whispered.

"I believe I promised you that you would fly again," Severus stated, as he looked up into the clear night sky.

"You make a lot of promises," Harry retorted, rolling onto his stomach and pushing up to stand.

"And I intend to keep each one of them."

They walked in silence the rest of the way to the train station. When they neared the station, Severus pulled his hood up fully, successfully concealing his face. He saw that Harry had done the same. As long as they kept their hoods up, they should be able to avoid recognition.

They were shocked to see so many people boarding the midnight train. The platform had an air of celebration, with banners hanging and streamers strewn about the ground. A giant banner hung across the ticket booth reading; "Long Live, Harry Potter!" A magical picture of Harry was draped across the far wall. In the picture, Harry was waving as he flew by on his broom.

Severus had been so out of touch with the Wizarding World in this past week, which he didn't even know there was a celebration taking place in Hogsmead this evening.

"What is all this?" Harry asked, as he picked up a paper hat off of the floor. There was a picture of himself on the front of the hat and bright red letters, reading; "Harry Potter Day!" written across the front. He dropped the hat and stepped on it with the heel of his boot. "You could have warned me!" he grumbled to his father.

"I was unaware," Severus retorted, starting to get annoyed with the boy's disagreeable tone.

He inhospitably pulled Harry onto the train, hoping that no one had noticed the boy-hero.

Severus stopped a conductor as the man walked near, "We are in need of a private passenger car."

The conductor laughed, "I'm sorry sir, but we are packed full this evening, with the big celebration and all. However, I did see a few spaces open towards the back of the train."

Severus pushed his hood back causing the conductor to gasp out loud. The conductor immediately looked towards Harry.

"But-but- you're …" the conductor pointed to Harry.

Severus grabbed hold of Harry's arm and pulled him past the gob smacked older man. Several people gasped when they walked by. The conductor had been right; the very last compartment had two spots open. Severus slid the door open and stepped back to let Harry pass him.

There were two people already seated on one of the benches. Harry sat down on the empty bench, facing a preteen girl. The girl had blond short hair and was holding a flashing pom-pom with a picture of him on the side. She had a lap full of empty chocolate frog wrappers.

Harry slid his hood back and unclasped his cloak. The girl squeaked out loud, while looking from her pom-pom, then back to Harry, again and again.

"You're, Harry Potter!" the girl said with excitement.

"Last I checked," Harry said, giving her a small smile.

The mother shushed the girl and pulled her closer.

Severus didn't even acknowledge the woman or her child as he sat next to Harry. He studied Harry's weakened state before reaching into his cloak for a potion.

"Harry, this will help with the pain," Severus held out a small vial of purple potion. "It will make you drowsy but we have a long ride ahead tonight."

Harry barely managed to get the potion into his mouth, since his hands were shaking so much. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the pain began to become more manageable with the help of the potion.

Severus kept his eyes on his son until he was interrupted by the woman sitting across from him.

"You should be ashamed of yourself," the woman whispered out in an angry tone, "That boy needs to be in hospital, not out celebrating!"

"You know not of what you speak, Madame," came Severus' curt reply.

"I know enough!" the woman shot back, unfolding a newspaper and pointing at a picture of the destruction left behind at Voldemort's stronghold. "I know a real father would never have sent a boy into such a perilous situation! Even if you did manage to bring him back to life."

"Mum!" the girl complained with embarrassment.

Harry opened his eyes and glared at the woman. His hands balled up into fists.

Severus could see how this was upsetting his son. He placed a hand on Harry's arm to calm the teen. The last thing they needed was for Harry's dark magic to unravel in this small compartment.

"I'm sure James Potter would have never made his son face that beast!" the woman admonished. "I suppose an ex-Death Eater doesn't have those same paternal instincts."

Harry felt his anger rise, the bracelets burned against his wrists. He felt a sudden need to release some of his rage.

Her words had struck a nerve in Severus. He had often wondered what James would have done. He felt Harry shift and saw the boy's finger point in the direction of the woman.

The woman yelped as she grabbed her arm and began to rub it.

"Mum, what happened?" The girl asked with alarm.

"Oh Merlin, it's just my arthritis acting up again," the woman replied as she continued to rub on her arm.

Severus knew better. He saw the small smirk on his son's face and had no doubts as to why the woman had a pain in her arm. He wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders, "I believe a nap is in order."

Harry let his dad pull him closer, and even leaned his head against his dad's side. His father draped his cloak over him and kept an arm over his shoulder.

When the woman looked as if she might start in once again, Severus brusquely responded, "My son requires rest. I'll ask that you allow him that small luxury."

The woman took in the scene before her, wondering if she might have been too hasty in her judgment of the ex-death eater. Obviously the boy was being cared for.

The movement of the train chugging along the tracks put Harry into a peaceful slumber.

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