Horizon: Shirayuki deals with grief the same way I do. Unfortunately.
She stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling, gripping her phone in one hand and her torn blue mask in the other. The girl was out of tears at this point; her eyes burning and her throat feeling tight. The four surviving cats were on the bed with her and the kitten tried to nudge her cheek, but nothing could make her smile now.
It's…my fault. I should have been there to protect her. Grandma…and Sayuri-chan. They both had healing quirks. I shouldn't have gone to the training camp. I should have stayed home.
Shirayuki closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. She could only imagine the pain and terror that her grandmother must have endured in her final moments. Not to mention Togata. Her upperclassman and friend had been the one to find her grandmother in that state. It could not have been easy for him.
Her phone started to ring and she lifted it, opening her eyes again. Shinsou? I haven't…talked to him in a while. How long…? She fixed her gaze on the ceiling once more and answered the call. "…Shirayuki…speaking…"
"Are you okay?" Shinsou's voice was soft as it came through her phone, but he sounded anxious. Worried.
"…nh…I…I'm alright, but I…" It felt like her words were caught in her throat and tangling together. She swallowed, hard, and took a deep breath. "…Shinsou, my…grandmother…"
He was silent for a moment before hesitantly saying, "I…heard what happened. Shirayuki, I'm sorry. And I'm here if you need to talk to someone."
She wanted to talk. She wanted to tell him how she was feeling. She wanted the pain to stop and she thought that maybe if she told him, it might help. However, she stopped herself as soon as her mouth opened.
What kind of friend…would I be? I don't want to bother him. I don't want to upset him and this…it hurts. If I tell him, it might hurt him, too. That just…feels toxic. I don't want to do that.
"…I'm alright…" she repeated. "…but…one of my classmates…he got kidnapped during the training camp…" Instead of unloading her grief, she decided to just talk about the summer training camp. All while clutching her blue mask tightly against her heart and trying to not let him know how much she was hurting.
They talked until she heard Fat Gum returning from work. This was the day after she returned from the summer training camp. She slept in an unfamiliar guest room at his place, with the cats. She spent the day in her room because the thought of going to the agency with him and Amajiki made her scared. Worried she would let them down if they needed her help.
"Hey, Yuki! I picked up dinner on my way home. You hungry?" The hero knocked quietly on her door. When she opened it, he offered her a smile and held up a few bags. "I brought some presents, too. Tamaki and his friends wanted you to have these for your room."
She looked at the bags and felt a flicker of happiness. Fluffy blankets and a bunch of plushies. Some of them were dragons, like the ones she had on her bed at her grandmother's house. Some of them were cats and there was even a panda one. The girl accepted the bags from Fat Gum and she was unsure of what to say. Clearly, her upperclassmen had put a lot of thought into these gifts and they were trying to make her feel better.
"Alright! I'm going to get dinner put on the table so just come out whenever you're ready, okay?" Fat Gum walked off toward the kitchen and left her to unpack the bags.
Shirayuki put most of the stuff on her bed; trying to replicate her room from her grandmother's. As she was digging in one of the bags, she found something different from most of the other items. A hoodie. A black hoodie with a pink skull on the left side of the chest.
She thought she was out of tears, but now there were more of them blurring her vision as she sniffled. This hoodie was such a simple piece of clothing, but this was something her grandmother would have bought for her. Her grandmother always tried to get her clothes that were supposedly stylish, but it was almost always something with skulls or stars.
The girl put it on and trudged out of her room with the cats following close behind. Sitting at the table with Fat Gum, she heard him ask if she was okay and she just nodded. "…how…was your day…?" she questioned. I don't want to bother anyone. I don't want to make them sad. I just…have to work through this myself.
He frowned a little. "My day was fine, but are you sure you're okay? Yuki, you know I'm here if you need to talk, right?"
She forced a smile and nodded. "…I…I talked to my friend earlier…and I told him about training…he's in general studies so he…didn't get to go…but he really wants to transfer to the hero course…"
Fat Gum listened and he ate kind of slowly. It was clear that he knew she was bottling up her grief. He could tell by the wet sheen of tears in her eyes and the forced smile. She was trying to pretend like everything was alright, but beneath the surface, he knew she was in pain.
"…maybe…um…m-maybe I could…go to the agency tomorrow…to help me…like a…like a distraction…sort of…"
His eyes lit up. "Of course! Yuki, that sounds like a great idea!"
She heard his phone ring and he excused himself to answer it. Shirayuki slouched in her seat and lifted some food with her chopsticks. The hero was in his room while he talked on the phone, with the door closed, but she could still hear what was being said.
It was unclear who he was talking to, but it was regarding him becoming her legal guardian. Paperwork was mentioned, along with some details about how she seemed to be doing. Then the topic shifted to her mother. She subconsciously tensed when she heard the name "Hikari".
"No. No, Shirayuki Hikari can't be her guardian. I know she's her mom, but there's a good reason for it. You haven't seen the report. There was an incident when she was around nine. Her mom left her with her grandmother and fled the country before they could arrest her."
Her hand went to her stomach, fingertips resting against the scar near her bellybutton. Remembering the pain of the knife. How her mother had screamed at her that day, even while she was bleeding. All because Shirayuki missed her father and she was crying. Hikari was not in a good state of mind and she took it out on her daughter.
The girl lifted more food to her mouth and ate. She tried to push the memory to back of her mind. She tried to block out the rest of his conversation. By the time Fat Gum returned, Shirayuki was on her fifth plate of food and she saw him raise his eyebrows.
"Wow, Yuki! You've really got your dad's appetite, huh? That's great for your quirk!" He beamed and sat across from her to start eating. "I didn't know what you'd want so I just got a bunch of stuff. I'm glad you like it, though."
She swallowed a mouthful of curry and rice before nodding. "…it's…all really delicious…" she mumbled. "…th-thank you for…letting me stay here…"
"Of course! Your dad and I were pretty close, you know! You're practically family!"
Family…Dark violet hair fell over her eyes and she finished her fifth plate of food. She quietly excused herself and washed her plate before going to her room. Shirayuki grabbed her phone and her blue mask. She wrapped the fabric around her wrist and tied it like a wristband.
Standing near the table, she gave Fat Gum a sheepish frown. "…I…I'm going to meet my friends…at the hospital…we're planning to visit some of our classmates so I…I'll be back later…"
"Oh. Okay. Are you sure you want to go now? It's getting kind of late."
"I…I'll be okay. I have to be brave." She forced herself to speak up and the girl's crimson eyes showed her determination. "And…if I need anything happens…I'll call you. I promise."
"If you're sure. Do you want me to walk you to the station?"
"I'll be fine." The girl started to walk away, but paused. Shirayuki turned to him again and hugged the hero the best she could. Even though there was no chance her arms could go all the way around him. She felt him pat her on the back and she hugged a little tighter.
When she left his home, Shirayuki pulled up the hood on her sweatshirt. She checked the time on her phone and then sent a quick message to Kirishima, Kaminari, Ashido, and Sero to say she would meet them at the hospital. That part had been true; she fully intended to visit her classmates. Though, that was not what caused her to leave the table so abruptly.
Family, she thought again as she took a seat on the train. Sayuri-chan…and her daughter Emi. Where are they? I know…Sayuri-chan didn't kill Grandma. She loved her and she loved my dad. She was…she's an outcast…from Grandma's side of the family. But she'd never hurt anyone! So where is she?
The girl kept her head bowed, still feeling self-conscious without her mask to hide her wide mouth. Her hair fell forward to help conceal it and she scrolled through pictures on her phone. Photos that, in the moment, felt so simple. So silly. Now they were bringing her a flicker of comfort.
A picture of her last birthday cake; baked and decorated by her grandmother. Some of the flowers that were planted in the spring, sitting near the door in colorful pots. Different meals her grandmother made for her that Shirayuki just thought looked too good to not take a picture of. A few pictures of her with her grandmother. Finally, her favorite. A photo of the old woman sitting on the couch with one of their oldest cats; just smiling at the girl behind the camera.
I can't let it just end like this. I have to know why it happened. Even if it hurts. My father wouldn't let whoever did this get away with it! Her hold on the phone tightened and she nodded to herself. I'll find whoever killed my grandmother and I'll bring them to justice!
When she got to the hospital, she saw her friends waiting for her near the entrance. None of them knew what had happened. They greeted her without a clue about what she was going through, but she wanted to keep it that way. If they knew what happened, they would feel bad and she did not want to make them upset. She also did not want anyone to worry about her.
"You're not wearing a mask?" Ashido asked as they walked into the hospital.
"…n-no…um…well, kind of…?" She lifted her wrist and pointed at the mask she had fashioned into a bracelet. "…I need to be braver so…I think…this is the only mask I'll wear now…besides…it's my favorite…my grandma made it for me…"
"It looks pretty cool as a bracelet!" The pink-haired girl glanced over at the boys to try to urge them to compliment it, too.
"Yeah, it's cute," Kaminari agreed.
"Kind of looks punk," Sero added.
"Are you sure you'll be okay without having it as a mask?" Kirishima rubbed the back of his neck and looked directly into Shirayuki's eyes. "You know, it's okay if you still need a mask. You've only gone without one for a few days, right?"
She lowered her gaze to the bracelet and nodded. "…yes, but I just…I know that I need to stop hiding…so I'm going to push myself to be braver…"
A pink tint spread across his cheeks and he put a hand on her shoulder. He grinned down at her when she looked up. "Alright! I'm gonna support you, then!"
Walking to Midoriya's hospital room to meet up with their other classmates, her friends were talking about the member missing from their group. Bakugou. He had been grabbed by the League of Villains. Specifically by the same villain in the black and white mask that had wanted to capture Shirayuki.
Villains…She lowered her head and frowned, slowing her steps so she was at the back of the group. That man knew my mother's name, didn't he? And he knew who my father was. Why? And…Sayuri-chan's boyfriend. Dabi. Why did he help me get to safety? I don't understand any of this.
Shirayuki was glad that Midoriya seemed okay. He had broken both arms, but he seemed to be in good enough spirits. He told her what had happened after they split up on the trail during the test of courage and she felt her stomach churning with guilt.
He took on a villain and won. But I…couldn't even aim directly at the man in the mask. Midoriya is more of a hero than I am. I don't deserve to be a hero. I can't…call myself a hero when I get scared as easily as I do. I let Bakugou-kun down and I…let my grandma down. I let everyone down!
The girl slipped out into the hallway and bit her lower lip. She wiped at her eyes to clear away the beginning of tears. I have to be stronger than this if I'm going to bring the killer to justice! But I just…don't even know where to start. What should I do? What can I do? I can't let anyone know what happened so…
She remembered it then. Something Sayuri mentioned when she first showed up with her daughter. Something about hiding from Emi's father. She asked Shirayuki to protect the little girl for a while and not let her father near her.
Frowning to herself, she knew where she had to start. I have to find Dabi. But to find him…I'll have to find the League of Villains.