I am so so sorry I was gone for so long. Everything I wanna say sounds like excuses. Simply put, exams and getting into Hunger games fandom+fanfics wasn't a good idea as that put my story on the back burner for quite a long time. I apologize for it all.
As an apology, please accept this extra-long chapter.
Warning! Child neglect, lab testing, and mentions of war!
-o0o-ERIC-o0o-
"Today we're going to have a grand tour of the Amity faction. Before you ask, we wouldn't want you getting lost on Amity grounds and inconvenience them, which is why it's important that you pay attention to where we go and the places we point out," Tobias says and with that, the raised hands of some transfer initiates lower.
"Follow us, everyone," Beatrice says as she along with Johanna and Tobias lead us.
At first, I was surprised because we're led in a place that the Amity are calling "the dome". Eating seasoned Amity breakfast with fresh ripe fruits is such a luxury and I try to - albeit slyly - eat as much as possible, knowing I will need the energy today and not wanting to miss this opportunity either.
We are given an hour to eat as much as we want, shower, and get ready for the tour, and I milk it for all its worth, stuffing myself as much as possible and spending an entire fifteen long minutes in the hot shower. And finally, after enduring three weeks of Abnegation-ness, I feel like the old me, relaxed and level-headed.
I can't help but wonder if Tobias experiences this luxury every year with the initiates because if that's possible, I am pretty sure I know what job I want.
Walking back to our rendezvous point in the dome, I spot Beatrice and walk towards her. I realize I never thanked her for all the trouble she went through to sneak my mom and brother here, and I am worried about her overly selfless nature, it's a ridiculous notion seeing as she's Abnegation and all but, I feel like it will bite her in the ass one of these days.
All the other initiates start filing in and Beatrice calls for our attention and nods towards the door. We all follow her silently.
The entire tour took us five hours. I never knew that Amity occupies this much area. If my assumptions are correct, Amity is the largest faction by area!
We were shown many different places, including the poultry farm, the stables, the harvest areas, granary, water filtration plant, and the housing area for members. We were also told which shortcuts we can take to go where which areas to avoid and the places where we were not permitted to go.
After a shower, we headed for dinner. The food was delicious and like breakfast, in various different recipes. Once again, I ate until I couldn't eat another bite and we turned in early so we can rest as much as possible before we start helping out tomorrow.
"You all need as much rest as possible before going back to volunteering, wouldn't want you collapsing due to lack of sleep," Beatrice says, catching my eye. Something told me she was talking to me more than the others and she's right. I didn't sleep much last night, and I am grateful that she's looking out for me like that.
"Psst! Eric!" said a familiar voice and Eric opened his eyes, yawning softly as he looked at the owner of the voice.
"Whaa…" his words were cut off by another yawn, he was so sleepy but the boy called for his attention again.
"Eric!" the dark-haired boy hissed and they both heard the loud crash followed by the sound of a man yelling angrily.
Eric was scared, he didn't like it when the man shouted things like that, he looked scary, like a monster.
The older boy wrapped him in his arms and stroked his hair softly, trying to calm the toddler down.
"I am going to get you out of here, Eric. It's not safe for us here. But, you have to keep this a secret. Promise me, Eric, you won't tell anyone," the boy demanded from Eric, his voice shaking with fear at what he was planning in his little mind.
"I pwomise!"
"Good boy! You know I will always love you, you're my bestie but we'll meet again, okay?" and Eric smiled, nodded, and hugged the trembling boy, knowing that even big boys, sometimes, get scared.
I wake up with a start, my body covered in sweat as I try to catch my breath. It all seemed so realistic. Where was I? Who was that dark-haired boy? I saw enough to know he was the boy from the security camera photos, the one that smuggled me in Erudite. I remember his words, his actions and that's all. The dream is fading from my memory quickly and I jump and unlock my phone, making a voice note of all I remember from the strange dream.
I regret taking as much time as I did when I tried to make sense because if I would have been faster, I would've remembered the boy's face and maybe, found who he was. But, shit! I forgot. Fuck!
I don't dream much but, the fact that actually made me queasy was that it didn't feel like a weird dream, but more like a faded memory. Like a long-forgotten9 reality and if I wasn't sure before, I am now. These aren't ordinary dreams but memories, my actual memories.
I check the time on the clock and holy shit! It's already half past six in the morning. I gotta hurry up if I wanna eat slowly and contemplate some more. With that thought, I am in the shower, trying to wake myself up from the remnants of that memory.
We all gather in front of the dome at eight AM sharp as told.
It isn't supposed to be interesting and we pick fruits and vegetables, sort them according to types and dump all the rotten ones in a specific area where we were told they make compost.
It's almost fascinating how many types of different fruits there are, so many of them we have only seen in books and didn't know that they were actually grown these days.
Lichis and jujubes to a ton of different berries and apples. And we also secretly eat some fruits during the volunteering hours. The initiates were not the only ones with the idea as me and Sienna found Tobias and Beatrice a few feet away gobbling on jujubes and apples.
We snuck up and made them squeak in surprise. It was the best thing we've seen, for now at least. Shawn found us there and we mess up with our instructors, threatening them of telling Johanna and happily eating some more rare fruits and veggies as a form of bribery from them.
It's fun to see Tobias acting like a human, especially when he actually sniffled at the sight of baby tomatoes and claimed they were the answer to humanity's problems. Beatrice keeps shaking her head, stifling her laughter while me and Shawn laughed our asses off, much to Tobias' chagrin.
I guess it's true when they say, 'time flies when you're having fun' and in no time, we are heading to bed after supper for another early day.
I toss and turned and it took me longer than most days, but finally, sleep claims me.
"Hi, there! I am Michaela, who are you?" the pretty blond lady asked the toddler who was too busy playing with his favourite blanket.
His best friend had told him not to talk to strangers, that most of them are bad people who hurt little boys and take their favourite toys away, so he ignored the nice-looking lady.
"Sweetie?" she asked kindly, crouching in front of him and smiling and Eric decided she looked nice enough so he would talk to her.
"Ewik, my name is Ewik!" he said, by means of greeting, and the woman melted at the sweet little boy.
"What are you doing here, Eric? Are you lost? Where's your mommy?" and when she asked those questions, Eric couldn't help the little sniffle, trying to be brave like he was told.
He had no one, no mommy, no daddy, no nothing. His best friend just left him in that shiny place that hurt his eyes and the only thing he had was his favourite blankie. He was so so sad.
"Don't haf mommy and daddy," little Eric said with teary eyes and the woman felt tears welling in her own eyes.
"No one luves me, I am awone," he said matter-of-factly and her heart broke for him.
Eric was small but he was smart, smarter than most kids, and very perceptive for his age. He had seen that the only person who loved him was his bestie, but when he left him, Eric knew in his heart there was no one left that loved him. He knew this was 'for his own safety' but the abandonment was too fresh for him to understand the reasoning of the older boy.
"Hey, what do you say about having a mommy, daddy, and siblings?" she asked and Eric tried not to feel too hopeful. He doesn't wanna cry anymore.
"Don't wanna be left 'gain. Don't wanna cry and miss," he cried and she took him in her arms and rocked them slowly.
"Shh, Eric, no one's gonna hurt you again. I promise you, my sweet boy, I won't let anyone hurt you again," she said in a soothing voice, rubbing his back and straightening his black hair and Eric clutched her like a lifeline.
I wake up with throbbing in my back and groan, realizing I have fallen off the bed. Remembering the dream, I scramble up and locate my phone, recording my dream as fast as possible. Thank god I didn't forget anything today. I need to talk to someone about this, I gotta find out how I am getting these memories back and if they really are memories or a dream.
I fall back on the soft mattress but sleep doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon. So, I sigh and get off the bed, lacing my sneakers and grabbing my ridiculously red jacket.
There's no point in trying to sleep so I may as well work out and what better place for a workout than the meadow which will be deserted at 2 AM.
Arriving at my destination, I can't seem to want to do anything but stare at the peaceful and quiet scenery. The weather is slightly cool and I am glad I brought my jacket. I feel like the memory I saw in my sleep sucked all energy out of me and I decide that working out is not on my radar. I sit on a bench and admire the beauty of the star-filled sky.
I am taken out of my reverie by a familiar voice.
"Couldn't sleep?" Beatrice asks and I shake my head.
We sit in the comfortable silence until it becomes too much and I decide to try and get to know her better.
"I never thanked you for bringing my mom here. I really appreciate it, you don't know how much it means to me," I tell her, looking straight ahead.
"Favourite colour?" I ask, mentally facepalming at the most ridiculous question.
She laughs softly, "That was so cliche that I can't believe it came from you, Eric."
I groan and decide to continue with a fake whine in my voice, "You didn't answer!"
"It's, umm, green."
Seeing how clearly my small talk, twenty-questions approach isn't hitting well, I decided to go for the bullseye and ask the question that I really want answered.
"How long have you and Tobias known each other?"
"Oh, uh, he has known me since I was born, literally! We became friends when I started crawling is what my mom told me. But yea, we used to play together a lot until his mother died when he was nine and he was never the same again," she finishes and I feel for my instructor.
Losing a parent at the age of nine, a mother no less must've been hard on him. No wonder he's a broody guy most of the time.
"So, how's childhood in Abnegation?" I ask curiously and she smiles wistfully.
"I used to play with Caleb and Tobias and despite the fact that I was a girl, I still found thrill in their games, the adventures, suspense, and supposed mysteries we'd solve. We used to pretend that the trees were sleeping dragons and we had to sneak without waking them. Of course, I always climbed 'the dragons', and Tobias and Caleb would try to save me. I never liked playing the damsel in distress so I would climb down and once even twisted my ankle. That's when my dad decided I had enough boyish adventures for a lifetime and I was only allowed to play with dolls." she says with a smile.
"Tobias was an ass-" she slaps her hand over her mouth and apologizes but why is she apologizing for being herself?
"You don't have to censor yourself, it's just me and I won't tell them about you if you don't tell them about me," I say cheekily and she lets out a giggle and then slaps her hand over mouth again.
"Beatrice, you can be real with me. You can swear, you can laugh, you can judge and do whatever. It's not like I will rat you out. I like seeing you like this. Real and human." I tell her. In the moonlight, with flushed cheeks and messy blond hair, she looks angelic.
"Anyways, Tobias was my friend but an asshole always has been. He would tell me dolls were haunted. I didn't believe him until I found my doll with its head missing one day, the next, I found another doll with both legs missing, and finally one day I found the missing doll's head, legs, and a set of arms. I never touched them again and would cry if I was ever left alone with them. I actually believed they had stalker ghosts inside and were trying to scare me to death. When I turned five and they were given to some other family, I finally felt better.
Asshole told me the truth on my seventeenth birthday and he and Caleb laughed their asses off at my expense." she says with a reminiscent smile.
I try to imagine a little Beatrice going through that and I gotta admit, it must've been funny.
"Erudite values imagination so we get different 'practical' toys," I say, making air quotes on the word practical, "like modifiable cars, steam engines, and so on. I always loved mechanics and so one day, I ripped apart my dad's laptop for some parts, scavenged in recycling bins for wires and stuff, and stole batteries from my grade one classroom clock. It took me weeks but I successfully modified a boring plastic car into a metal, song-playing, bump-n-go car, ya know, those that don't stop when they bump somewhere but just pull back and start moving again?
I was nine and so proud of my accomplishment and since then, I have been tinkering with electronics."
"That must've been so cool! Did you become something like a kid celebrity then?" she asks with genuine curiosity.
"Only among the kids," I say with a smirk. "Some of them joined my 'initiative' and would sneak me things to make their toys cooler. The creepiest one I did was a two feet tall doll that'd chase you with a fake bloodied knife!" I shudder at the memory of running from that apeshit doll myself.
We sit in comfortable silence and a few minutes later, I feel light pressure against my shoulder. Looking sideways gives me a view of an incredibly sleepy Beatrice who's trying to keep her eyes open and failing miserably.
I wrap an arm around her shoulders, letting her rest her head on mine and kiss her hairline and she stiffens a little before relaxing again. I feel like no matter what happens afterward, this here is the moment I will never forget. It's peaceful and full of bliss and I will hold on to this memory whenever I feel troubled or overwhelmed.
Helping with the harvest takes so much more effort than I imagined. And we all find ourselves dragging our tired bodies in our rooms after four hours of volunteering and geez, I don't think I ever felt this sweaty and smelly. Thank god this was only for one day!
I step into the bathroom for a long shower and as soon as I walk out, fully dressed, I hear a knock. Opening the door gives me the sight of my life.
Beatrice stands there, her cheeks flushed with all the work she did, skin dotting with sweat and hair coming out of her braid. But her eyes, they're wide open and sparkling with an unidentifiable emotion. Breathtaking!
"Hey, I just wanted to thank you for tucking me in last night," her cheeks flush a darker tint and my smile grows. "I feel so embarrassed I fell asleep on you, so, uh, I wanted to say…Thanks for putting me to bed and I am so sorry for using you like a pillow last night," she finishes and I can't help but chuckle as she mock glares at me.
"No problem, Beatrice. Besides, I remember a certain someone tucking me in on my day one here so it's all good," I tell her, trying to make her feel better and it seems to work as she gives me a smile.
"I will see you for dinner then," she says and walks away.
After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, wishing for sleep to come and claim me, I make my way to the meadow again. The silence is peaceful and I hope the quiet beauty of the scene may help me fall asleep.
"Can't sleep?" I ask when I hear the distinguished sound of Beatrice's footsteps. She sits down beside me with a loud sigh.
"I am getting nightmares, I dunno, they're weird and irrational but that doesn't stop them from coming," she sighs again and I understand, I have been plagued by dreams of all the testing Jeanine did on me when I was three. They were horrible and I can't believe she could be so inhumane.
"I am getting weird dreams too, like flashbacks or something, it's pathetic," I spit, angry at myself for telling her and mad at myself for feeling so vulnerable each time I wake up from one.
"Really? Maybe talking about it will help. I wouldn't tell anyone of course," she assures me.
"Mine are stupid. I see war, there's so much blood and masked people of all other factions are attacking our faction, killing everyone, not even sparing the kids and pregnant women." she shudders and I feel a chill run down my spine. Why are those nightmares plaguing her? Does she know of something?
"It's so damn bloody and everyone's screaming, begging to be spared," she whispers, her voice trembling slightly and I feel my throat tighten. I grip her hand, hard, trying to provide her comfort, or is it for myself?
"And I am hiding with a black-haired girl and she keeps asking me about her daddy. She looks like she's two years old but I never asked and I end up saving her so many times that I die in the end and she keeps begging me to stay, begging me to not leave her just like her daddy did," she wipes a tear away and I feel my own eyes filling with some tears. I never wondered how the war would affect people. Never dared to venture what would happen to kids, the elderly, and the sick.
"I didn't want to leave her, Eric, but I did and her cries are so agonizing." I pull her in my arms and let her cry and she does. Eventually, I release my hold on her and she looks me straight in the eye. And I can't help but wonder how someone can look fierce with red-rimmed eyes and a tear-stained face.
"And the most surprising things are, her calling me her mom and implying another pregnancy on my part. I always wake up gasping for breath," she says and I can see how much this recurring dream affects her if the tears in her eyes are any indication. It would affect me too if I had a supposed daughter and am dying in her little arms every day.
"What did she say to make you feel that?" I ask, wanting to understand as much as possible.
"She said and I quote, 'Mommy please stay with me, don't go and take my baby brother with you.' She also laid her head down on my belly and talked to this supposed brother." I pull her back in my arms and rub her back soothingly, lost in my own thoughts.
I know the plan is horrible and I want to do all I can to avoid the full-blown mass-murder of my chosen faction, but I need more time. I have to pass initiation with a high rank, have to make allies, and let people in. But the question is, do I have enough time? I know I basically ruined Jeanine's plan and I don't want to think of what may be going on in that deranged mind of hers. Will she speed up her plans? Change it entirely? Use someone else to do her dirty bidding in Dauntless now that I am here?
I wrap an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and smoothing her hair. She sobs silently for a few minutes but composes herself fast.
"Tell me about yours," she says, her voice muffled by my shirt.
"Umm, it'll sound ridiculous," I say lamely.
She looks at me with a pout and her eyes open wide and I give in. I tell her about what my mom told me, about the file of the boy whose divergence was confirmed at age of three. I tell her about my dreams and the fact that I believe them to be real. I stress over the identity of the Abnegation boy whose face I don't remember and all I know about Divergence. She listens intently, rubbing my shoulders when it becomes hard to tell her how I was tested on and she asks about divergence.
By the end of it all, we're clinging to each other, not giving a damn about Abnegation teachings. I feel a lot lighter until she opens her mouth and my whole body tenses.
"Do you think I am divergent then?" she asks and I want to know what makes her think that. I wonder if Tobias told her that. It would be justified, seeing as he's past his aptitude test and is her fiance.
"What makes you think you have aptitude for more than one faction?" I ask, out of sheer curiosity.
She wraps her arms around herself and looks at her feet. "I mean, I love reading medical books and wanna become a doctor but, I just wish to choose Dauntless, and I don't wanna leave my family either."
Racking my brain for all I know about divergence, I decide to interrogate her.
"Why do you want to become a doctor, or join Dauntless? I mean, don't you want to stay here and volunteer or something?"
She kicks at the grass and looks lost in her own world, a finger twirling a stray strand of hair as she tells me her theories.
"Doctors help people, it's a selfless thing to do and I want to help people, make their lives better, help them with their recovery and provide them the care they need." This seems to be pointing towards an Abnegation aptitude only.
"I am also very curious. I want to learn all about disease, viral, bacterial, fungal, whatever. I am most interested in Cancer and genetic disease. Like you know Cancer happens in our body for more or less no reason most of the time. It's a little scary and fascinating how your own body works to make you so very sick and bring you to your grave. I mean seriously! And how does our parents' DNA decide to change their child's number of chromosomes giving them down syndrome and…" she trails off and looks at me sheepishly. I can't help but laugh at her rambling. She sounded exactly like us Erudites when we start rambling.
"What of Dauntless?" I ask and it's like someone breathed life back into her as she smiles widely.
"Dauntless has always inspired me. They're always so free, so fearless, and have that I-don't-care attitude which is reckless but it all seems so exhilarating. Like they come alive in the face of danger and never give up. They are our protectors and that's something I have always loved about them." And I can't help but smile at her words. That's exactly why I wanted to join Dauntless. Not Jeanine's demands but the feeling of freedom, that adrenaline, and camaraderie, I wanted it all. I wanted to be a hero and I wished to fear nothing. As far as I remember, I have felt that way since I was twelve.
But that all disappeared when Mr. Prior told me about my divergence. Divergence! I stiffen and turn to face Beatrice who looks a thousand miles away with a small smile on her face. A smile my next words will surely turn upside down.
I hate myself for ruining her small moment of peace and bliss but I need her to know the truth if I want her to stand a chance against Jeanine and her cronies.
"Beatrice, please don't freak out, it's just a hunch but yes, I think you're Divergent and that means you're in grave danger if found out. So you'll have to learn how to conform to whichever faction you choose. For now, they wouldn't suspect too much because no one knows what your aptitude is and for all they care, you could be behaving like members of the faction you may choose. But tread lightly, you don't want to tip off the wrong person." I warn her.
"Now that you know about me, will you hand me over to Erudite to do whatever horrid testing they do on people like me?" She says this all casually while looking straight ahead like she asked me if I like tea or coffee.
"Your secrets are safe with me if mine are safe with you," I tell her with a grin and she smiles slightly.
And we sit quietly, holding each other until the early hours of the morning.
Sienna skips ahead petting farm animals here and there while me and Etienne follow, the latter shaking his head at his sister's antics.
"Oh look at you, you're so so beautiful! Yes, you are, yes you are," she croons, and the horse neighs. The fuck, Sienna? Aren't they all the same? At least they look similar which is why I don't understand why some horses have been more 'beautiful' according to her.
"Hey, Etienne?" I start, "You and your sister should have a nickname, you know, a shorter version so it's easier and more convenient to gain your attention." I suggest trying to do anything to not get bored.
Watching Johanna explain what all the farm animals do and provide, how to take care of them and their different species is so boring! And the lady needs to speak faster because if she keeps up speaking as slowly as she is, we may not make it to supper.
"And the white sheep are kept here, they-" I tune her out again, groaning softly and see Etienne smirk out of the corner of my eye.
"You can call me Ti," he offers and Sienne turns to grin at us as she strokes a lamb.
"And you can call me Si," she pipes up and I decide to offer my two cents.
"T and C, also known as terms and conditions when spoken in regards to-" I am cut off by Shawn elbowing me in the gut.
"Shut up, Nose," Shawn says and the twins snicker.
"That's all for today, initiates. I hope you learned something today." Everyone cheers and I assume it's the excitement of ending this day rather than learning all this stuff.
"Freshen up and meet me and your instructors back in the dome for supper," Johanna tells us and makes her way to her office.
Supper is uneventful as we all sit quietly and eat, not before saying grace.
And before I know it, I am in bed, closing my tired eyes.
"This will only feel like a pinch and then we're going to have so many fun adventures! What do you say, Eric? Are you a brave boy?" The blonde asks, holding a syringe with cyan liquid.
He gulps and nods tentatively. Be Brave! He remembers the words of his best friend.
He closes his eyes and feels a sharp pinch in his neck, flinching and rubbing the spot. He opens his eyes and finds himself in a weird place.
There are box-like contraptions and there's a lot of buzzing inside them. He sees that the sky is clear and the sun is shining with trees and pretty flowers growing all around him.
But the buzzing is annoying and Eric wants it to stop. So, he starts shaking one of the boxes violently, gasping as a swarm of angry honey bees fly out and the buzzing gets louder.
On instinct, he starts running as fast as he can but his legs are small and they're fast and he's getting tired. He knows he is a brave boy and he can do anything so he imagines lots and lots of snow so the bees freeze like ice cream.
He runs and runs until he reaches a place, the shiny walls and glass doors tell him it's Erudite. Suddenly, he's surrounded by lots of big Erudite men, they are all yelling and Eric can't make sense of what they're saying.
And then the words make sense, "Who brought you here?" and "Where did you come from?"
They show him a picture of his best friend and somehow, Eric knows they want to hurt him and take him away from his mommy so he answers, "Come by 'self!" and runs out of an open glass door.
He runs and runs until he's on the road and there are so many holes, big and small. He jumps over the small ones and dodges the big ones until he falls in a deep pit, one he didn't saw and hurts his leg.
He cries out in pain but knows he has to continue, he knows he can't give up and he knows he's strong and brave. So he closes his eyes and imagines an old story he remembers. Where a guy called 'superman' could fly and do good things.
So, Eric imagines that he's superman and flies out of the pit, laughing loudly as he sees the birds flying ahead.
He hears crying and falls down. There's a baby who is shivering and crying. Eric looks around and sees no mommy or daddy looking for the baby. He sits down and wraps himself in his blankie because it's suddenly very cold and he doesn't want to freeze.
The baby shivers more, its cries becoming lighter and Eric knows what he has to do. He pouts and sighs but still, he holds the baby close and wraps the blankie around them both, remembering how his best friend held him once.
He opens his eyes and there's no baby or blankie anywhere. Instead, there's a big board.
"How many fingers do you have in one hand, Eric?"
He counts five, but he can't write that, doesn't know how to. So he decides to draw lines, one, two, three, and four lines but he doesn't want to draw another line besides the four he drew before. So he doesn't, he draws a line that crosses all four lines and looks at the faceless woman.
He blinks awake and the same pretty woman with golden hair stands and she's smiling.
Looking around, he finds himself sitting in a chair and he remembers everything that happened when he closed his eyes. He misses his best friend and the tears start flowing freely down his cheeks.
The woman clicks her tongue and gives him a big bar of a sweet brown thing that he instantly likes.
"Good boys who do as they are told get chocolate. You want more chocolate tomorrow, Eric?"
Sleep doesn't come back to me as I record my dream and try to deduce what the simulation meant.
I decide to go outside and for some reason, am back in the meadow.
"Another one?"
"Yeah, this one was very weird though. There seemed to be a simulation but I can't figure out what it was for," I reply, pulling her to sit on the grass beside me.
"Tell me," Beatrice says and I do. I tell her all about the simulation Jeanine put me under and when I am finished, she's deep in thought.
"Lemme get this straight. There were five different scenarios, right?" she asks and I
I give her my phone and she listens to the recording three times before she jumps up suddenly, a smile gracing her face and I know she found something.
"Reaction to the first scenario was not peaceful at all, reaction to second was lying to save someone, to third it was being brave and moving on, fourth was sharing and being selfless and fifth was inventing tally marks which became popular and I assume it's a sign of intelligence," she says and my heart starts racing.
"Amity and Candor weren't my aptitudes whereas the other three were. It seems my aptitude did not change with time," I muse, and she gasps.
"She shouldn't have! How can she be so heartless!" Beatrice exclaims angrily and I suppress a smile at her protectiveness.
"It's not funny, Eric!" she hisses and I hug her, not letting her walk away.
"You know what would not be funny?" I ask and she shakes her head. "I learned how to ride a horse."
"How?" she asks, curiosity evident in her tone.
"We have a lot of books. Plus I did research. It's not something I like but it was a dare from William and I thought, why the hell not?" I grin and she gets the hint as she pulls me along on the way to the stables.
She leads a horse out and I smirk. She strokes the horse's mane as I climb on and the horse starts trotting slowly.
Beatrice looks at me with eyes filled with wonder and I offer her a hand. She takes it hesitantly and I pull her behind me.
The horse increases its pace a little and she smiles widely. I remember a vague mention of yanking on the mane and I do. The horse neighs loudly and goes on a mad dash and I find myself unable to hold myself up.
It bucks wildly and before I can comprehend what's happening, I am on the ground while Beatrice lands right on top of me. The horse runs away and I am too flabbergasted to do anything.
We try to catch our breaths and she starts giggling and soon, it turns into a full-blown laugh and she's struggling to contain it, wiping her eyes. It takes a while to understand what happened but the whole incident is so ridiculous I start laughing too and we're both in stitches, trying to stop.
She sits up and all laughter leaves me when I see her like that, sitting on top of me with flushed cheeks and messy hair and such a carefree and happy smile it takes my breath away.
I feel my body reacting and pull her down to lay with her head on my chest before she realizes what's going on.
We lay there for a while and watch the stars, pointing out ridiculous things like unicorns and half-eaten bunnies.
We eventually collect ourselves, find and take back the horse and say our farewells.
And in the haze of it all, I had forgotten all about the war and initiation.
The last three days in the Amity compound are pretty uneventful. We learn horse riding - properly - and which gear to use and I can feel Beatrice looking at me with mirth in her eyes when they told us how to do things. I still feel the embarrassment of our previous night but oh well.
Beatrice doesn't come out tonight and the dreams aren't too bad, just normal memories with not many things of importance.
Preserving and canning foods is better since I am pretty happy with the scientific aspect and the day passes happily, at least for me. In the end, we are all given a cookbook full of recipes from all factions. Many of the other initiates return them, not knowing what use they would be with the limited ingredients available in Abnegation, but I keep mine with thanks.
At night, Sienna, Etienne and Shawn find me sitting on the grass and enjoying the drizzle and they join me. We talk and laugh and get to know each other. In the end, I decide that I like Sienna the most. As an Abnegation woman, she has a lot of expectations just as I once did and she feels trapped by society just like I do.
She confided in me that she wanted to defect to Amity but stayed because her mother was very sick and she couldn't leave her only living parent.
I tell her about my planned choice of Dauntless and I gave her all the details that wouldn't imply any hidden motives or evil plans. I also tell her how I was Jeanine's protege and how she was speechless when I chose Abnegation. We shared a laugh at that and for some reason, I feel like I can trust her to have my back.
The last day is gloomy and not just for me if the expressions on other initiates' faces are any indication. Even Tobias looks and acts more dick-er than usual. We all help with the extensive, yearly cleaning of the Amity compound. Scrubbing and sweeping, polishing everything from the inside and out, fixing the leaks and problems in pipelines and electrical equipment.
We plant a tree of each of our favourite fruits and put a stick with a laminated piece of paper beside the area. It states the name of the person who planted it, the date and the time. We are told it would serve the purpose of reminding us who planted what and when.
Sitting in the bus, I stare out of the windows and admire the passing scenery. I may have left the Amity compound but the memories I made there will always be cherished. And I hope the friendships we formed there will never be forgotten.
I turn sideways and smile at a snoring Sienna. She can, and I have no idea how, sleep so easily in a constantly moving bus.
The only feeling I don't like is being watched. I turn back and catch Beatrice's eye who frowns when our eyes meet. What the hell?
How did Jeanine get permission to test on three-year-old Eric? Who was that boy? Where are all these dreams coming from? Lemme know what you think :D
Stay safe and creative ;)
Stella!