*TW: this chapter contains depictions of homophobia against a child. Be careful when getting to the Valentine's Day segment. Also, a slur is used, but it is censored.
Hey all!
So! This chapter. Ha. It's a bit filler, but it does introduce some important things. One of which, as stated in the trigger warning, include a segment about and act of homophobia. I won't go too much into it, to avoid spoilers, but I will say that it is a bit heavy. As such, I marked off the section that has the homophobia with asterisks (*). If you do not wish to read the segment, it starts at the first asterisk and ends with the second one. I will be adding a summary of the segment at the end of the chapter, so that anyone who chooses to skip it won't be confused later on.
Anyway... as stated last chapter, I posted my other IshiMondo fic! It's on both my AO3 and FF . net profiles, titled "Games and Consequences." I'm glad people liked it! :-D I have another small IshiMondo fic that is different in style to my other works, but this one I think I will post on my Tumblr first, just to get some feedback on it before posting it on my official channels. It takes place in the canon universe and basically is just the idea that Mondo goes to Taka after killing Chihiro. It's super depressing, though, and I'm not super sure on it. If that interests you, feel free to keep an eye on my Tumblr this upcoming week and I should be posting it there soon. Otherwise, it will prolly eventually be published on AO3 and FF . net, so no worries if you dislike Tumblr. :-)
Enjoy!
Taka sits— his back relaxed and mind blissfully blank for once— with a non-fiction book about Gandhi in his hands, a soft smile upon his face, and a warm weight in his lap that he is doing his absolute best to not focus on too closely or else he's going to lose his composure completely...
"Shit, man. Somethin' kinda fucked 'bout a bunch a' kids bein' forced ta kill each other, ya know? Suzanne Collins is a sadistic fuck..." a musing voice mutters from below him, causing him to stiffen just a touch. A-ah...
Despite himself, he can't help how his eyes dart downward, his heart stuttering as he sees the quietly focused teen that is lying with his head in his lap, glasses perched on his nose, looking up at the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy.
Grk-!
"A-ah! Yes, I would imagine so! Are you... enjoying the book, kyoudai?"
Since the previous week— after they had finally overcome their differences and became kyoudai— Taka has been trying to introduce Mondo to new books, to help him better understand symbolism and other literary concepts. Fahrenheit 451 is fine and all, but the biker has a lot of catching up to do if he wants to pass their class. Plus, he knows that the biker is not a big fan of the classic, finding it very dull and confusing, even with Taka's help. They'd briefly tried other classics, both translated English and traditional Japanese ones, but Mondo had quickly grown annoyed with them, claiming that the old-fashioned language made his head hurt. He also didn't seem to like a lot of Japanese young adult novels, finding them very dull.
They'd managed to stumble upon the Hunger Games books by accident, actually, Mondo seeing a translated version in the library and finding his curiosity piqued. So far, he's managed to read more of it than he has of any of the other books they've tried, so Taka is hoping that that is a good thing...?
"Ehh... I dunno yet. Kinda dull at first, but things are startin' ta pick up, ya know? They just started the Hunger Games thing, and now all the kids are tryin' ta kill each other. Like I said, kinda fucked, but eh. Seems interestin'..."
Taka tries to hide his smile as Mondo absently turns a page in the book, eyes focused even as they speak. He isn't wearing his coat at the moment, is only wearing his wife beater, and the look is very distracting for Taka.
His heart had almost leapt out of his chest when Mondo— who apparently doesn't understand the concept of personal space— had decided to flop down on his back on the couch in the rec room, not seeming to care that his head had landed firmly on Taka's lap. He'd just settled in, held his book up, glasses firmly on his face, and had started to read, letting out little comments or snorts every few minutes.
Taka— his heart doing a funny little tango— had done his best to just... go along with it and not make a big deal out of it, even though it is now slowly driving him insane. One thing he had learned very quickly over the past week, after all, is that Mondo seems to be a big fan of, well... physical affection. It wasn't unusual for the larger teen to put his arm around Taka, or to ruffle his hair (to Taka's professed annoyance), or to grab his wrist to pull him somewhere, excitement bright in his lavender eyes. Or— on quite a few occasions— to grab Taka around the waist and pull him into a tight hug, for whatever reason the biker had that time.
It is, in all honesty, all kinds of wonderful and incredible and Taka absolutely adores it and yet-
It makes his feelings of brotherly love switch into overdrive, which makes him just a bit embarrassed.
Mondo insists that it's normal. That 'bros always are so close, kyoudai!' The biker doesn't seem to have any problems with it at all, the actions coming very naturally to him. And from what Taka can see when he sees Mondo interact with Kuwata (who he still is not the biggest fan of, and vice versa, but is learning to tolerate for Mondo's sake), casual touching does seem to be a big part of their interactions.
However...
However, from what he has observed, the physical interactions between Mondo and Kuwata are distinctly more... violent, he supposes, than the physical interaction between himself and the biker. Mondo and Kuwata will often tussle or roughhouse when together, both teens fighting (playfully, he assumes) for the upper hand. They often will laugh while doing it, which is why it doesn't concern him too much, but it is distinctly different to the gentle, almost reverent way Mondo will touch him, a soft look in the biker's eyes...
And it makes sense! Of course! His friendship with Mondo is different to Mondo's friendship with Kuwata! They are kyoudai, after all! Obviously, their interactions would be different! I-it's not like Taka thinks that Mondo would have any ulterior motives for his closeness...! Aha! That would be madness! Ahahahaha! Ahahaha! Haha! Ha!
Ha...
Still...
It's slowly driving him insane! The casual touches, the soft looks, the gentle handling... it's all so much and it's making Taka slowly lose his carefully maintained control. But what else is new, honestly... Mondo has always had such an effect on him, why would that change now that they are kyoudai, right? Ha! Haha!
Ha...
W-well! He can handle it! What he feels for Mondo is clearly brotherly affection, nothing more. Yes, it feels like he's being electrocuted with every touch, and he has to spend more time pushing undesirable thoughts away, and his trousers are often distinctly tighter than they should be for reasons he refuses to think about— but it's fine! Absolutely fine!
Because, Taka thinks, looking down at Mondo— eyes softer and gentler than he ever thought his bright red eyes could go... his heart warm and full and alive... feeling more positive emotions than he's ever felt before— well... it's all worth it. All of it. Any amount of discomfort or confusion or heartache is instantly discounted when considering just how happy the teen on his lap makes him. He'd almost forgotten what happiness felt like— tasted like— before Mondo had come along and rearranged his entire universe. Any amount of possible confusion and heartache is forgotten in light of the warmth and joy he is currently basking in.
He... he...
"Yer starin' at me. What, I got somethin' on my face?" a gruff voice breaks through his thoughts, causing him to flush brightly. He glares lightly at Mondo, who is looking up at him with a smug grin, his pompadour sticking straight up in direct spite of the laws of physics. Taka doesn't even deign the comment with a verbal response (especially since he knows that anything that he could say would just come out lame and pathetic). Instead, he just huffs indignantly and turns back to his book, hoping to complete his assigned reading for his morality class quickly, cheeks unfortunately pink.
He still can't quite force himself to completely ignore Mondo, especially with how surprisingly vocal the biker is as he reads but, well...
He doesn't mind.
Not one single bit.
(He's doomed...)
The pair remain like that for several minutes more, both quietly (well, mostly quietly) reading and enjoying the other's company.
It's right when Taka has maybe a few more pages of his book to go that the door to the rec room opens, causing Taka to tense as he looks up, worrying about who, exactly, is entering. He's not exactly made any enemies here (other than the teen in his lap, but he's quite obviously mended that relationship), but some of the older years are not overly fond of him and he doesn't want Mondo to get into (yet another) fight on his behalf.
The tension drains out of him when he sees the familiar faces of Ogami, Asahina, Maizono, and Naegi, with Asahina excitedly talking about some swimming competition that Taka vaguely recalls the girl mentioning that she was going to attend recently.
"-it was so totally awesome! The way she cut through the water, like nyoom! I wasn't even mad she got a slightly higher score than me, it was so freaking cool! She said she'd teach me the move, too, if I teach her my signature move, so I'm so pumped! Oh! Hey Taka and Mondo! How's it going?"
Asahina looks over at them with a wide smile, not seeming phased to see them in such a position. It is almost funny, seeing as how 'freaked out' she had been the previous week, claiming that their manly bond was 'weird' and 'gross.' The words had honestly kind of offended him, but he'd been too focused on his euphoria of having a friend to really care about it too much. However, as the week has progressed, it seems that the girl has come to terms with their bond, the swimmer going as far as to smile at them brightly whenever she sees them together, like she is currently.
In fact, most of their classmates have gone through similar journeys, going from varying degrees of discomfort and-or confusion, to varying degrees of acceptance, though some more begrudging than others (Togami, when he isn't smirking knowingly at them, alternates between sneering and grimacing at their behavior. Quite rudely, he might add…). None of their classmates, not even Kuwata (who is the most disgruntled by it) are outright opposed to their newfound brotherhood, though. Which is a relief, honestly! At least they have no one to try and change Mondo's mind about him...
"Heya, Hina. Readin' this weird ass book 'bout kids murderin' each other. Ya had that competition then, yeah? Do well?" Mondo questions casually, sitting up and taking his glasses off with only a hint of a blush, pulling Taka back to the present. The biker's actions make him frown a little, though. Taka has been trying to convince Mondo that the glasses don't make him look ridiculous, like the biker is convinced of, to varying degrees of success. While he seems fine with wearing them when it's just the two of them, he tends to take them off pretty quick around other people.
(It didn't help that Kuwata— the first time he'd seen Mondo wearing them in class— had burst out laughing, earning himself a detention from the teacher. Taka had been furious at the redheaded boy and had lectured him for a while after, which hadn't really improved his tempestuous relationship with the baseball star slash up-and-coming musician, but he hadn't really cared. Not when any and all confidence Taka had managed to build up in the biker had been destroyed with his friend's cruel laughter, which had infuriated Taka greatly. He's been spending days trying to fix the damage, to minimal avail. Oh well... at least he is willing to tell others that he's actually reading now, which is something...?)
"Oooh, that sounds scary! Is it any good? And yup! I just got back! I narrowly got first overall but was beat in a couple of the side contests. But that's okay! I'll just train extra hard and next time I'll get it! If either of you guys wanna join me in the pool some mornings, we can train together if you'd like! I'd always love to have an extra swimming buddy!"
Mondo smirks, shrugging his shoulders casually as he stretches out on the couch. Taka fights down the blush that wants to rise on his face when he feels Mondo's arm curl lazily across his shoulder, the touch barely there but still electrifying.
"Nah, I'm good. Not much ofa swimmer, ya know. Taka may be up fer it, though. He's got more ofa swimmer's build and always does those ridiculous exercises in the mornin'. Congrats on the competition, though! Representin' us right, hell yeah!" Mondo grins, giving the girl an enthusiastic fist pump, which makes her giggle softly.
The biker then shrugs again, looking over at the book he had tossed to the side, considering. "As fer the book... yeah, it's pretty tight. Ain't exactly scary, more weird than anythin'. Not sure how I feel 'bout it yet. Writer's an American, though, so no accountin' fer quality, heh. Called the Hunger Games or somethin'."
Asahina gasps excitedly, bouncing as she takes a seat in the chair in front of them. The others head over to the pool table, Ogami smiling at Asahina indulgently while Naegi and Maizono talk softly together.
"Oooh, I've heard of that book! I watched some of the movie on the plane to a competition once, it was pretty good! It made me sad though... poor Rue!" the girl cries, frowning dramatically. Mondo frowns back, looking at the book critically.
"Aw shit... somethin' happens ta the kid? Aw man. Kinda figured, but still was hopin', ya know? Hate when kids get hurt in stuff. Shit sucks."
"Oooh, sorry! Didn't mean to spoil! It's a good scene though, so while it is sad, I still liked it. Oh! But if you like that book, you should try Harry Potter! A friend of mine convinced me to give it a try a little while ago and I love those books! There's, like, seven of them but they're sooo good that it doesn't seem like it! Let me know if you decide to give them a try, okay? I'd love to have someone to talk to the books about! Anyway, Taka! Wanna swim with me sometime?"
Taka blinks as the girl's rapid-fire speech turns to him without any preamble, Asahina staring at him with wide, inquiring eyes. It's still a little strange for him to be included in conversation like this... Mondo is a lot more natural at it, the biker seeming to slot into conversation with their peers very easily, despite his tough-guy act. Well… recently, at least. Since they became friends, it seems a lot easier for Mondo to relax his image and let himself converse naturally with their peers, for whatever reason. Taka is, in all honesty, immensely proud of the teen.
Now, if only the same could be said for himself...
"O-oh! A-ah, I'm not sure, Asahina-kun! I tend to spend most mornings exercising in my room, and-"
"Ya kidding? He'd love ta join ya, right Taka?!" Mondo shouts over him, drowning the rest of his sentence out. His heart skips a beat when he feels Mondo's arm tighten around his shoulders, the biker giving him a significant look that Taka can't— for the life of him— decipher. Still, considering the teen's emphatic words, he can't find it in him to go against it...
"A-ah-! I mean! Of course! I would love to, Asahina-kun! I suppose I can make the time some mornings if that is agreeable with you!" Taka exclaims, feeling only slightly awkward. He's never been a big fan of swimming, to be honest, his apartment not having a swimming pool and the price of admittance to the public pool too high for him. He only knows how to swim thanks to swim class in middle school and— considering how often the other kids 'pretended' to drown him while the teacher turned a blind eye— it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience! B-but...! If Mondo wants him to try it-!
"Oh, yay! I mean, you don't gotta if you don't wanna, but it'll be a lot of fun, I promise! Sakura is great to have as a training buddy, but she's not a big fan of swimming. But that's okay! We can be swimming buddies now! Awesome!" the swimmer bursts out happily, grinning at him from ear to ear. She frowns a second later, though, pouting at him overdramatically. "I've told you to call me Hina, though. No need to be so formal, right? We're all friends here!"
A-ah! Friends! Asahina— or should he call her Hina...?— considers them... friends? How queer! Or is that just a phrase he's not aware of...? Or is it because they're now 'swimming buddies' apparently? Social interaction is so weird!
Still, he doesn't want to offend the girl... and she has taken to calling him 'Taka,' the swimmer picking up on Mondo's usage of the nickname and adopting it for herself. Without asking, he might add... n-not that he minds! Too much...
(Well, it had been nice, he supposes... having Mondo being the only one to call him by his mother's old nickname for him... ah well. At least he and Mondo still have 'Kiyo'...)
"Ah! I'm so sorry, H-Hina! I- I will keep that in mind!"
The girl beams at him, over her bout of petulance quick.
"It's okay! Anyway, what would be a good time for you to meet me for swim practice? I'm good pretty much whenever to swim, not just morning! Morning, afternoon, night... you name it!"
Taka considers it as he looks over at their other classmates, watching absently as they set up the pool table, Ogami smirking gently as Naegi messes up the cuing with a sheepish grin. What time would be best...? Hm...
"Perhaps... ah, Saturday or Sunday mornings? That way we wouldn't have to worry about classes or my patrols!" he professes after a minute, smiling as nicely as he can. Judging by how As- Hina beams, nodding furiously, he supposes it doesn't look too offensive...
"Yup! Sounds totally cool! Wanna meet up tomorrow outside the pool, at like... 8:00 or something? We can do some laps to get you warmed up! How familiar are you with the pool?"
It's a good question, one that makes sense logically and was asked innocently enough. Taka feels himself freeze, however, as an obvious problem comes to mind now that he's thinking about it. Flushing, he looks down at his hands, a worried frown rising on his face.
"A-ah... I'm so sorry, As- Hina! I just remembered that I don't have a swimsuit! I am so sorry!" he cries, his heart clenching as he mentally berates himself for his folly. Idiot! Of course, he doesn't have a swimsuit, he's not gone swimming since middle school, and he's grown quite a bit since then! And their class isn't starting their swimming module until Spring, two quarters from then, so he figured it would be best to buy a new swimsuit closer to the start of the Spring quarter! Oh! How embarrassing! He's such an idiot! Why did he bother trying to do anyth-
"Oh! That's no problem, Taka, the school store sells all kinds of swimsuits! Maybe I can take you over there now and we can pick one out together?" Hina states innocently, cutting through his self-deprecating thoughts. But then he comprehends the words, and that only makes the thoughts even worse. B-buy a swimsuit...? But he... he can't afford something like that... he knows how expensive swimming gear can be, that's why he's yet to replace his old suit... oh dear...
"Nah, y'ain't gotta do that. Ya can borrow my swimsuit, kyoudai, ain't like I'm gonna use it. Plus, it's a bit small fer me, so it'll prolly fit ya well enough," Mondo cuts in casually, before Taka's thoughts can spiral downward any further. A-ah-! Use Mondo's swimsuit! That's-! Aha!
Grk!
"Oh, yeah, that could work too! Okay, sweet! I'm so pumped right now! This is gonna be awesome!" Hina bubbles, bouncing in her seat. Mondo chuckles beside him, arm curling a bit tighter around him, making him feel safe and secure, like he always does when Mondo touches him like this... a-ah...
"Hell yeah! Hey, Ogami, Naegi! I'm up next, alright? I'll take the winner," Mondo calls to the pair, who are now playing pool, though Naegi appears to be holding his cue stick improperly. Taka hasn't had much of a chance to play pool (or billiards, as he'd called it until Mondo had snorted at him and told him 'dude, it's fuckin' pool, c'mon'), but Mondo had showed him the proper grip the other day, despite the biker professing not being a big fan of the game. Still, when he thinks of Mondo teaching him how to play, it makes him flush bright red, the phantom sensation of Mondo standing behind him overwhelming. He bitterly remembers the feel of arms around him, adjusting his grip so carefully and gently and- grk!
A-anyway! He knows the proper grip, and Naegi does not seem to have it. But the boy doesn't seem to mind, just smiles sheepishly at Mondo and nods quickly.
"Y-yeah, okay Mondo. You'll probably be up against Sakura, though... I'm not that great at pool, heh..." Naegi claims, rubbing his neck awkwardly. Ogami looks over at him, soft frown on her face.
"You should give yourself more credit, Makoto-san. You're not doing too bad. You got that corner pocket earlier," the martial artist calmly says, giving the boy a level look. Naegi smiles gratefully at her, before turning back to the table with a look of concentration on his face. Taka can feel as Mondo removes his arm, the biker standing to watch the game better.
Taka tries not to feel bereaved and stands as well, hoping that his blush isn't that noticeable. Judging by the way Hina is smiling at him, he's not so sure...
"So, guys! Are any of you planning on going to that Halloween themed Fall Festival next week? It sounds like it's gonna be so freaking cool! You've done a great job with it, Taka!" Hina gushes a minute or two later, during a lull in the game. Taka feels his face flush as all eyes land on him, uncomfortable at the praise. A-ah... it's not like he's the only person helping plan the festival... he'd just volunteered like he always does when the headmaster had set out a list asking for people to help with the festival, that's all...
"Oh yeah! There's going to be a haunted house and costume contest and everything, right? Sounds neat!" Maizono giggles, smiling at him kindly. "And, of course, my band will be playing a couple of songs! Thanks for thinking to ask us, Taka. Headmaster Kirigiri said it was your idea, after all."
A-ah... his face turns a brighter shade of red, now even more embarrassed! He's always secretly wanted praise for helping organize festivals and school events and whatnot, but he's never actually had such a thing happen before! And now that it is, he… he doesn't know what to do… a-ah…
"Hell yeah! That's my kyoudai, always got the best ideas!" Mondo exclaims, grinning over at him too. O-oh... somehow, that praise is the most overwhelming of them all! And it is nice, yes, but also… hm. He doesn't know…
"Ah! T-thank you! B-but I'm not the only one planning it! There's a whole committee!" he explains, feeling strangely uncomfortable with all the compliments. Strange. He's wanted this for years, and now that he has it, he feels... so weird inside...
"But ta answer ya, Hina, yeah, prolly," Mondo continues, though he's looking at Taka with a soft frown. A-ah... had he noticed his discomfort...? "Not usu'ly my scene, but eh. Free entertainment's free entertainment, an' all that. 'Sides. Leon bet he'd beat me at that crappy ball throwin' game all festivals seem ta have. Ain't gonna let that fucker beat me!"
"Uh, Mondo..." Naegi chimes in, frowning at the biker cautiously, looking uncomfortable, "isn't Leon the Ultimate Baseball Star or something? S-so..."
Mondo stares at Naegi blankly for a second, before snarling and punching the wall (without too much force, to Taka's relief).
"Aw, that goddamn motherfucker! I'm gonna kill him!" Mondo exclaims, making the girls in the room giggle and Naegi laugh nervously.
Even Ogami is chuckling softly, though she quickly turns back to the game and lines up a shot, calling "eight ball, corner pocket," before sinking the shot, effectively ending the game. Naegi grimaces at his remaining four balls on the table, but congratulates the martial artist, nonetheless.
"Great game, Sakura!" he expresses, holding out his hand for the muscular girl to shake. Ogami bows slightly as she takes the proffered hand, smiling kindly.
"Likewise, Makoto. You did better than last time. Keep practicing, and I am sure you'll get there," the girl assures, before turning to Mondo. "You're up next, then, Owada-san."
Taka watches in silence as Mondo pushes off against the wall he'd been leaning against, the biker grinning as he grabs the cue stick out of Naegi's hand— just a little too roughly, the biker smirking at Naegi's soft yelp of alarm. He then taunts the boy about his horrible pool stance, saying that he should 'take a look at how a professional does it, nerd.'
It makes Taka smile softly to see, something in him so happy to see Mondo getting along so well with the others, even if he likes to taunt them to a certain degree. Taka knows he doesn't mean it seriously and he's fairly certain the others notice it too, if Naegi's small smile is anything to go by.
As he stands there, watching as the game is set up, the atmosphere in the room jovial and cheerful, Taka can't help the strange emotion that is swirling within his chest. After all it's just so… so strange... he went from having absolutely no friends the previous week, to suddenly having a kyoudai, and now to having the possibility of another friend, with several other people who— at the very least— appreciate the effort he's putting into things... it's all he'd ever wanted as a child, honestly! It's so utterly strange, but... but nice...
And it's all because of Mondo. He's sure of that fact…
"Hey, Taka? Can I talk to you in private for a minute?" he hears someone ask him softly a minute or two later, causing him to jump in surprise, his attention on the surprisingly intense pool match broken abruptly. He frowns softly at Hina, the uncharacteristically serious look on the swimmer's face making him feel a bit nervous.
He nods hesitantly, though, straightening from the casual lounge he'd accidentally allowed himself to slip into. A-ah... that's strange, he usually holds himself so stiffly...
"A-ah, sure! Is something the matter?" Taka asks Hina, pushing aside the thought of his unusual stance for the moment. Hina shakes her head quickly, a warm smile finding its way on her face.
"Nope! Just wanted to talk to you about something! Nothing to worry about, promise," she smiles, before practically skipping out of the room. His nerves not quelled by her assurance, Taka follows at a more sedate pace, his stomach churning. He makes sure to smile back at Mondo, though, who he notices frowning over at him, saying he'll be right back. Mondo doesn't stop frowning, but he nods once before turning back to the game.
He exits the room and quickly finds the bubbly swimmer, who smiles at him from across the hall in a secluded alcove. Stomach churning again, he marches over to her, worried frown on his lips.
"Are you sure nothing is the matter, Asah- ah. I mean, Hina?" he asks nervously again, unable to help it. Hina giggles softly, shaking her head.
"No, silly. I just wanted to tell you something, since I've been dying to tell someone, and I know you'll understand! So, you know how Sakura and I have been really close since school started? Well, she asked me out the other day, after I got back from my competition! She's going to take me to the Fall Festival for our first date! I'm so excited!" Hina enthuses, her eyes bright as she jumps up and down with her excitement.
Taka stares at her for a long moment, his jaw open ridiculously, the words taking a while to process. Ogami had asked Hina out... as... friends? No, they're already friends, why would that make her look so overwhelmingly happy? Plus, hadn't she called it a... a... date...
Oh!
OH!
OH!
Cheeks flushed red, he does his best to hide his shock and smile at the swimmer, though he knows it's not one of his better smiles. At least Hina doesn't seem to notice, since she just beams back at him, seeming far too happy to notice his momentary stiffness.
Because it's not like he has any problem with it! He's never had a problem with people who are... that. He just... he hadn't realized that Hina was...
But that shouldn't matter! Shaking himself out of his shock, he smiles wider at the girl, his eyes lighting up, her enthusiasm infectious.
"That's wonderful, Hina! I am so happy for you and for Ogami-kun! I hope you two have a wonderful time!" he enthuses, so surprisingly happy for the girl. He still isn't quite sure if they're friends or not, but he's still happy for her, nonetheless. She nods frantically, grinning so wide that it almost makes Taka's cheeks ache in sympathy.
"I know! I can't wait! Ahh, this is so exciting! I've never been on a date with a girl before, but I've always known I don't have a preference for gender, you know. And while I didn't realize Sakura felt that way for me, or even that I felt that way about her, when she asked me, I was just so happy! A-and I know that not everyone accepts that sort of thing, which is why I wasn't sure who I could tell, but I knew you'd be okay with it! And I really wanted to tell someone! I've been practically bursting with energy since she asked me! Ahhh!"
Taka feels warmth fill his chest at the swimmer's kind words. She really thinks that he is someone she can trust with such a secret...? How wonderful! He is so happy that she thinks so highly of him, even though they don't know one another that well!
"Of course! I've never had a problem with people who are- er, you know! And when I'm Prime Minister I will ensure that equal rights are obtained for all, I assure you, so you'll never have to feel unsafe!" Taka promises, making the girl giggle happily. And then she... she darts forward and… and hugs him tightly-! A-ah-!
"Oh!" he exclaims accidentally, not expecting the enthusiastic hug. He's only been hugged by Mondo— recently at least— and this is quite different to those hugs, he knows that! For one, Hina is far smaller than him and is pressed under his chin tightly. For another, she's still bouncing a little, forcing him to bounce with her, which is somewhat disconcerting. He does find the presence of mind to wrap his arms around her after a second, though, rather than continue to hold them stiffly at his sides like he had been. But still! It's so strange!
"Thank you, Taka! I- I know that there's nothing wrong with it, you know, but it's so nice to hear someone else say it. It... it means a lot to me," she mutters into his chest, pressing even tighter. He feels something in his chest soften at the words, with something that is almost protective coming over him. Huh. Strange!
"You needn't thank me at all! I mean it whole-heartedly! And if anyone tries to bother you and Ogami-kun about anything, tell me right away and I will ensure they are dealt with promptly!"
Hina giggles at his words, pulling back a little to look him in the eyes, her own blue eyes sparkling with her happiness.
"I'll keep that in mind, Taka! Though I'd doubt anyone would be stupid enough to try anything with Sakura! And you can call her that, you know. Sakura. She won't mind!"
A-ah... being invited to use another classmate's first name...! Not by the classmate herself, no, but still!
"Ah! Thank you! I shall-"
"Think about it, I know," Hina giggles, pulling back fully to pull a face at him. His cheeks flush, but he just smiles sheepishly back, sensing (hoping) that she isn't mocking him but is rather just... teasing...! A-ah, he supposes he does say that a lot, doesn't he...?
"Anyway, I cannot wait! Ooooh, I wish there were a machine that could speed up time!" Hina exclaims a second later, pulling his attention back to the girl again. He smiles gently at her, happy with her excitement.
Only for his smile to freeze on his face a moment later, ice forming in his heart as the girl continues, her tone as bubbly as usual, but her words...
"Are you and Mondo going to the festival too, then? Oh, I know! Maybe we could go on a double date! You and Mondo, and me and Sakura! I mean, since you guys are dating and all! Then no one will dare bother us at all!"
...
...
...
-!
H-he... what?! She... what?!
Taka cannot tell how long he stares at Hina, the girl continuing to talk with excitement, talking about the things they could do together, not noticing how stiff and petrified Taka has gotten, all the blood drained from his face. It's only when she finally trails off and looks at him that she notices anything, her excited expression fading into confusion as she finally notices the almost horrified look on Taka's face.
"U-uh... Taka? You okay, buddy?" she asked tentatively, reaching out and touching his hand gently. Taka flinches back harshly, the daze he had been forced into at her words breaking abruptly, leaving him cold and afraid.
She... s-she thinks that h-he... that h-he and… a-and Mondo are… a-are...
Shaking his head, Taka backs up slowly, only stopping when his back hits the wall of the small alcove they're in, eyes wide and scared. Hina— now realizing that something is very wrong— stares back with wide, worried eyes.
"W-w-what... w-what did you say?" he questions hoarsely, heart beginning to race as his body begins to shake. She... no, she can't... can't think that he...
"I- I... I'm sorry? What do you mean? Taka, are you okay? Should I get Mondo?"
Taka looks up abruptly at that, eyes— somehow— even wider as he shakes his head frantically. No! Absolutely not!
"N-no! Don't get him!" he practically shouts, wincing at the volume. Hina jolts back, looking almost scared. Oh no... oh dear...
Swallowing thickly, he tries to smile shakily, but he doesn't even have to look at Hina's face to know he fails. He has to... has to correct her, she... he has to...
"Y-you... H-Hina... Mondo and I, we- we're not- we are not... n-not... we're just friends. Just... just friends," he stresses, hoping that she doesn't try and debate him on this. However, judging by her shocked expression, he doesn't have much hope there. Oh... god...
Did she really think...?
Did... did anyone else...
(Was he really that bad at hiding it...?)
"W-what?! B-but... but you guys have been so close this last week! I was... I was so sure that..." she trails off and frowns, looking down, her brows furrowed as she thinks. Taka just focuses on not passing out.
Oh. She really did... did think that... h-he and... and Mondo-
Oh god.
Oh god.
Oh god!
"I- I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have assumed!" Hina cries after a moment, startling him, making him flinch back into the wall again. She grimaces at the action, looking acutely miserable. Oh... he hadn't wanted that... "You guys just... just were so close! And Mondo, he... he's always touching you! And the way he looks at you, I- I thought it was weird at first, but then I realized why you guys were like that, and then I thought it was so brave of you guys!"
Taka can feel tears rise in his eyes, nausea churning in his stomach. He shakes his head, frantic, and looks at Hina desperately.
"W-we're brothers, H-Hin- Asahina-kun. Just... just brothers. Kyoudai. N-nothing... nothing more, I assure you! Nothing... nothing more..."
He doesn't mean for his words to be as soft as they are. He doesn't mean for the pang of pain that fills his heart at the thought to be so obvious. He had thought he was doing a good job at hiding it, and pretending it wasn't there, but when he hears Hin— Asahina, they're not friends, she won't want to be his friend after this— let out a soft sound of sympathy, her eyes looking at him sadly, knowingly, he... he...
"But you want more... don't you?" she whispers, eyes bleeding sorrow and sadness and pity, she pities him, oh god-
He shakes his head, pressing back against the wall as hard as he can, part of him hoping that if he presses hard enough, he'll vanish into it and never have to deal with this moment ever again...
"Hey... hey, it's okay if you do! There's no shame in it, okay?" Asahina asks, taking a step closer. Taka looks down, feeling ashamed. He... he...
"He wouldn't want that," he whispers, almost inaudibly. Then, realizing what he had stupidly said, the pseudo confession burning him, he looks up, feeling panicked. "N-not that I care! Y-you're wrong! I don't... I- I'm not- n-not…"
"... what... gay?"
Eugh!
Taka feels his heart clench so painfully at the word that he's almost afraid he's having a heart attack. Though, maybe... maybe that would be for the better, since at least then he wouldn't have to deal with... with...
"N-no... n-n-no..."
Because he isn't. Isn't... g-g... he's not...
Gay.
He isn't...
Gay.
He can't be.
There's nothing wrong with people who are... w-who are... gay... but he... he's not. He...
Taka remembers, suddenly, a moment from his childhood. It was a long time ago, before his mother had died even, before the bullying got so bad that he'd begun to fully retreat into himself. He couldn't have been older than seven or eight, really. It's a moment he's pushed so, so far down that he wouldn't ever remember it again.
*There was a boy, in his class. He doesn't remember the boy's name, not anymore, it was so long ago (he'd forced himself to forget it). He'd been new that year. And he had been... kind. Nice. Friendly. He never really spent time with Taka, but he would at least smile when he was around, which was more than anyone else did. He hadn't had the context as to why everyone in his town hated Taka and he hadn't really seemed to care about the gossip. Taka enjoyed being around the boy, even if they never spoke. This went on for most of the year, the boy not joining in on mocking him, but never really spending time with him, either.
But one day... well, it had been quiet, at the school. All the other kids had gone on a field trip, but he hadn't been able to afford it, so he'd been left behind with a single teacher who seemed to resent having to 'babysit' the few kids who couldn't go. Taka knew the truth, though. She resented having to be left behind with him.
But the boy... he- he also had stayed behind, since his family didn't have much money either. And so, with no one else their age around... the boy, he... he spoke to him. He'd smiled and they'd spoken, and it was... was nice.
Taka had almost messed up, of course. He'd been so passionate, back then. He'd rambled about his hobbies, which of course included studying and learning about ethics, of course! It was back when he still hadn't realized why it was so bad, when he'd known that the other children hated him, but they hadn't really assaulted or harassed him yet, so he hadn't realized that it was wrong; that there was something wrong with him. And the boy, he...
He hadn't seemed to mind! He'd just listened, carefully, patiently, and had even asked some questions! It was like a dream come true!
After that, he and the boy would talk. Not in public, not where other people could see them. But alone, in private... they would talk. For hours and hours and hours, sometimes. His mother would smile indulgently when he'd talk about the boy, holding him close afterwards and saying she was so happy he finally had a friend, looking so happy for him even with how wan she had been getting, her cancer already taken hold deep within her.
It all had been going well for about a month. The pair growing closer together, enjoying the time they spent together.
And then it was Valentine's Day.
And the boy...
It's traditional for girls to give boys chocolate for the holiday. Cheap, inexpensive chocolate for boys they are not particularly interested in but feel obligated to give something to, with expensive, higher quality chocolate for boys they are interested in romantically. Homemade chocolate is valued even higher, no matter the quality involved. As long as it is personal, well. That's all that matters.
Taka had never gotten chocolate before. Either the obligation chocolate or the romantic chocolate. Perhaps, maybe once, during his first year of school, back Before he'd gotten one or two obligations chocolates. But After... not a single one.
That changed that day.
It was before school. He and the boy had been sitting together, like they usually did, Taka talking about whatever nonsense he'd been interested in that day. It had been cold, but not frigid, the sun shining lazily overhead, one of his favorite kinds of day. One that never failed to make him smile. He'd looked over to the boy, smiling happily, and had seen the boy looking back at him, a peculiar look upon his face which left almost as soon as he'd noticed it, like it had never been there at all.
And then, without any preamble, the boy had held out a bag, wrapped in pretty bows and iridescent cellophane, smiling softly.
"For you," the boy had muttered, looking him in the eyes shyly. And when Taka had opened the bag, his heart beating fast, he saw...
A single chocolate. Inexpertly crafted, clumsily wrapped, but clearly handmade. And Taka...
He'd never felt like that before. Not towards the girls, not even Katsumi, the prettiest girl in his class that all the boys had crushes on. He hadn't known what it felt like to have a crush, had always thought himself too busy to worry about things like that. But at that moment... at that moment, he... well. His heart had been racing, and his face had been flushed, and everything was swirling within him, hot and cold and just... wonderful.
He'd only been a child. He hadn't known what it meant, not really, just that he'd liked it. Liked the feeling. Liked... liked the boy.
He hadn't known people thought it was wrong. Hadn't known why it would be wrong at all. Hadn't had any idea why something so nice and warm and pleasant would be bad, would be immoral or disgusting. He hadn't... he hadn't known.
And so, with trembling hands, Taka had accepted the chocolate, smiling brightly at the boy. Happy, and content and in love. Or, as much in love as a young child could possibly be. He hadn't known what love was, but in that moment, he knew. Knew what he felt so sharply it burned.
And then, when the boy had leaned in, slightly, not much, well... well, Taka had seen that before, had seen his mother and his father do that, and in his mind it had seemed simple. He knew what love meant. He knew what crushes were. And he... he knew what it meant to kiss someone. And in that moment... he... he'd wanted...
So, he'd leaned in, too. He'd never been subtle, it was always a fatal flaw of his, and so he'd leaned in too quick, too obvious, his intention clear and very apparent. His lips had met the boy's, just a brush of skin, nothing special, not really. But to Taka... to Taka it had felt...
Like magic.
Like everything made sense.
Like things would be okay. For once... they'd finally be okay.
He had felt so much hope in that moment, bright and shining and beautiful. He'd never felt happier, wanted to stay in that moment forever, to never have to leave, finally knowing what he was and who he was and what he wanted and knowing... knowing...
But time doesn't stop just because you want it to. And after that one, solitary, perfect moment had passed... after he'd finally realized who and what he was, understood why he never really looked at girls but would rather look at boys, why he was different— after... a-after...
He was on the ground.
And there was the sound of laughter.
And of someone gagging, pretending to throw up.
And he... he...
"Ewww! I can't believe he actually kissed me! Ya see, I told ya, Daichi! He is a freak! You so owe me that game now! That was disgusting!"
He didn't cry. Not at first. He was too shocked, too confused, not understanding what was happening when the other boys— four from his class— climbed out from behind the trees, gathering around him and calling him names. Calling him things like freak and disgusting and fairy and poof. Calling him... calling him...
Gay...
He'd started to cry, then, slowly realizing that this was real, that his friend- that the boy... that it was ruined. That he'd ruined it all, that the feeling he'd gotten was... was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, and he... he'd cried. He'd cried, and he'd cried, and he'd cried, not knowing why. Why.
And they'd mocked him for that too, calling him worse names, cruel and harsh and hurtful. He'd begged the boy to stop, calling him a friend, asking why he was doing this, why... why... and he'd watched, heart shattering, as the boy sneered at him, towering above him, face far crueler than he'd ever seen it before.
"Why?! I'll tell you why! Because you're such a little freak! You actually thought I enjoyed spending time with you, listening to you ramble about stupid things?! I hadn't understood at first why everyone hated you, but the more time I spent with you, the more I understood! I hated you, you were so annoying, but you were such a freak that you couldn't tell I was laughing at you! Daichi didn't believe me when I said you were a little fairy, but I could tell. You kept looking at me, you obviously wanted me! He bet me I couldn't get you to confess you liked me, but I knew I could. I didn't think you'd kiss me! You're so disgusting! At least now I don't have to ever pretend to not hate you anymore! There's something wrong with you, you disgusting freak!"
The boy had kicked him, then, hard in the stomach, before walking away and stomping his supposed 'gift' into the mud while laughing cruelly with his actual friends.
And as Taka laid there, crying in the mud, he knew. He knew, he knew, he knew. There was something wrong with him. Something disgusting about him. Something... something...
Something immoral.
Taka had run home after that, skipping school for the first and only time. His parents hadn't been home, too busy working, and he'd not had a key back then, so he'd just curled up on his doormat and cried until he'd fallen asleep. When his mother had come home, frantic since she'd been told he'd not shown up for class that day, she'd been so worried, asking what had happened, if he was alright. And he...
He hadn't told her. He'd never kept anything from her before, but this... this...
She'd always stressed the importance of being upright and moral and stalwart and good. She expected this of him, expected him to be the best person he could possibly be. What would she think if he... if he told her... he didn't think she'd hate him, ever, ever, ever, but then...
He hadn't expected what the boy had done either.
So, he'd kept it in. He'd never told anyone. The entire class knew what he'd done (or tried to do, the boy had told them, not wanting to admit he'd actually kissed another boy, how disgusting), but he'd never told anyone. Just kept it inside and bottled it up, and when the kids would tease him and taunt him and torment him about it, calling him names, calling him wrong and disgusting, and a freak, he...
He vowed to do better. To be better. To never be... to never allow himself...
And when his mother had died a month later, Taka waking up one morning but she hadn't, his father shutting down entirely, he'd pushed everything down, down, down, knowing he was alone now and that he had to… had to be- b-be better…
And he has no problem with people who are like that. He doesn't fault them for their supposed immorality, thinks they deserve equal rights and fairness and to be treated with kindness. After all, he knows firsthand how horrible it is to be on the other side of that horrible discrimination, and he isn't even gay, so how much worse is it for people who actually are... a-are-
Because he wasn't. He wasn't and he isn't.
He couldn't be.
He can't be.
He won't let himself.
(What would Mondo think if he ever found out? If he knew he'd not only kissed a boy but that, for a split second before his world was destroyed, he'd liked it? What would... what would Mondo say...
Oh, who's he kidding? He already knows.
The words 'get the hell away from me, you f*g!' ring through his head. And he... he knows.)
And he's okay with that. So, what, he's never felt anything even slightly romantic towards any girls? That doesn't matter, such things are just distractions from his goal, regardless. Relationships just- just distract you and make you stupid and slow you down and h-he... Taka, h-he... he doesn't need that. He's sure that, if the time comes, he'll be able to be in a relationship with a woman and be happy about it. Just because the thought makes his stomach clench to think about, the very thought foreign and wrong means nothing. He'd be able to do it, he knows he would. He knows he can, he... he...
He doesn't... he isn't... he's not...
*"T-Taka...? I... I'm sorry... I didn't..."
The soft, regretful words make his head jerk up, and his eyes meet overly wide, sad, blue ones. There are tears falling down the girl's face, she looks so upset and Taka knows it's his fault, knows he did this, knows...
"N-no..." he mutters, closing his eyes, a tear falling despite himself. He tries to smile, but it feels wrong. It always does. "Y-you... it's not your fault. But... I'm... please. D-don't... don't call me that. E-especially not... not t-to... to Mondo, he can't know, he can't... h-he'd hate me, and I can't... I can't lose him, Hina- I- I mean, A-Asahina-k-kun... please..."
The girl lets out a soft, sad sound, and then, all of a sudden, he's being attacked. Taka lets out a noise of panic, his body tensing, trying to shield himself, but he realizes after a second that he's not, actually, being attacked. He's... he's...
"I won't, Taka, I promise. I won't ever tell anyone, okay? You can count on me," the swimmer promises, her head pressed tight to his chest, arms tight around his waist. Taka is breathing a little heavier than normal, his heart still racing from all the emotion, but after a few moments where the girl doesn't leave, he hesitatingly puts his arms around her, loose and easily dislodged, not wanting to trap her. She... she wouldn't want...
"But you can still call me Hina, okay? I really would like to be friends with you, Taka... I- I'm sorry I messed up, I just... b-but I realize I just- just, um... made a mistake. Heh! Because I know that you... that you're not... s-so, if you think you can forgive me, I'd still like to be friends. Can we... can we still be friends?"
Be... friends? But why would she want to be friends? No one likes Taka... he's too much, too bright, too fiery... she wouldn't want... she doesn't...
"You wouldn't want to be friends with me," he mutters softly, closing his eyes to try and hide the pain. "I'm not worth the effort."
He hears the girl let out a noise of protest, her arms squeezing him tighter, before— just as sudden as they'd arrived— they're gone. Taka closes his eyes tighter. Oh... he shouldn't have said that... she... she'll hate him now... if she doesn't already...
"No! That's wrong, Taka! You're one of the best people I've ever met! You're so kind and caring, and you helped me a lot with my homework and stuff! You're really cool, you know? I really, really wanna be friends with you, I promise I mean that! I- I'm sorry if I ruined things but... but please don't think that I don't want to be your friend! Because I do, Taka. I really do! Okay?"
The girl is holding his shoulders, her grip strong, and when Taka opens his eyes, he sees her eyes are wide and open, and... and... honest...
But she can't... she can't...
"Y-you... you really would want to be my... my f-friend?" he mutters softly, grimacing on the last word, his heart clenching painfully. Oh... that sounds pathetic doesn't it... she's going to hate him, going to think he's weak and pathetic and-
"Of course!" the girl— Hina...?— exclaims, the determination that he's come to know her for back, any hint of uncertainty vanished like it was never there. "I really, really do! You're cool, and nice, and kinda funny sometimes! And you like to work out and are willing to try swimming with me! Oooh, I know! Maybe you can join Sakura and I during our workout one day! Sakura likes to do her exercises outside sometimes so one day you can join us! Oh, this is the best! I love being friends with you, Taka! I-if you want to be friends with me, that is..."
Seeing the swimmer's downtrodden expression at that last sentence, her eyes losing some of the sparkle he's come to associate with her... it makes his chest hurt. And well... he's always been the type of person who does anything he can to try to make other people happy, hating to see them with the same ache and sorrow that he all too often feels inside...
"O-of course I would love to be friends with you, Asa- I mean, Hina! I-if you want to be friends with me, well... then I would be honored to call you a friend!"
And— strangely enough... he truly does mean that.
If she means it, of course, and isn't just trying to lull him into a false sense of security so she can tear him down into teeny, tiny little pieces, like-
"Oh! Yayayayay! I'm so happy, Taka! Ooh, tomorrow is gonna be so much fun! I'm going to show you the best swimming moves, and you'll be a pro in no times! Eeeee!" Hina exclaims, her arms around him again, jumping up and down with her obvious excitement. Oh... she... is she really so excited at the prospect of being friends with... with him...?
Despite himself and the doubts that are still swirling in his heart and mind, he can't help the small but happy smile that rises on his face, her enthusiasm infectious, spurring on his own natural enthusiasm. And yes, maybe she's lying. Maybe she's only doing this to tear him down later, to break him apart and shatter him like worthless glass.
But maybe... maybe she means it. Maybe she really does want to be his friend. Maybe this time... now that he has Mondo, has someone to trust, someone to lean on... maybe this time it will be different. Maybe... maybe this time he can actually be happy.
He always has been the world's biggest idiot...
But maybe...
"Aha! Yes! This is... this is going to be great! We'll be the greatest of friends! You'll see!" he exclaims, hoping that the waver in his voice isn't too noticeable. If it is, Hina doesn't mention it. She just giggles, looking up at him with a huge smile and wide, happy eyes.
Her smile dims a little a moment later and she looks off to the side, biting her lip gently. When she looks back, there is still determination in her eyes, but it's less... forceful. It makes Taka's stomach clench to see, and a spike of fear fills him...
"Oh, and Taka? You don't have to worry about me telling anyone about anything we said here today, okay? Not even Sakura. I know a lot of people see me as kind of flighty and a bit of an airhead, but I promise that I'm really good at keeping secrets! No one will ever have to know! But..." Hina pauses, biting her lips harder. She then looks at him, straight in the eyes, completely and totally serious. The spike of fear grows... "But Taka. I know that you- you aren't, you know. B-but if you... if you were... I'd still want to be friends with you, okay? Nothing will ever change that, no matter what! And if you ever need someone to talk to, about anything... well. I'll always be here to listen. Okay?"
A-ah... s-she...
Feeling numb and cold and wrong inside, Taka nods stiffly, his breath turning ragged and harsh against his will. S-she... she doesn't... she can't...
Hina— like the moment of seriousness never happened at all— bounces up, squealing again. She gives him yet another hug, which he returns a lot faster this time. H-ha... good, this is... is good...
(Why doesn't he feel anything when he holds her? She's a beautiful young woman, isn't she? Any normal boy would be over the moon to hold such a beauty. So why... why doesn't he-)
"Yay! Okay, we should head back now! I wanna see who won!" Hina exclaims again, pulling him out of his thoughts. He smiles, the look only slightly strained, and nods stiffly once more.
"Y-yes! We... we should! Aha!"
With that, Hina pulls back and grabs his hand, hers so much smaller than his, but still pleasantly warm and nice in his own as she squeezes tightly.
He feels nothing as she does it.
Still bouncing slightly, Hina drags Taka over to the rec room door, opening it with the hand not holding Taka's, grinning at him brightly as he grabs the door and holds it open for her with his free hand. He smiles back. It's less strained this time. He thinks she notices, because she giggles, twirling somewhat as she bounds into the room, pulling Taka after her.
"Ah, Hina! There you are. Did you and Taka have a good talk?" Ogami — or should he call her Sakura?— asks, looking up from the pool table as the pair comes over, their hands still clasped. Hina nods enthusiastically, smiling brightly.
"Yep! Got everything all sorted! Now, who's winning?"
"We're both tied. Whoever can sink the eight ball will be the winner, and it's Mondo's turn next. Right, Mondo?" Sakura (?) replies, looking over at the biker with a raised eyebrow.
Taka looks over to the teen as well, curious as to his response, and blinks when he sees Mondo turn his head quickly away, a bitter scowl on his face, his eyes dark. He looks very... pissed off. Was he... was he just looking at him...? If so, then why does he... he look so...
"Yeah, right. Eight ball, side pocket," Mondo mutters, his back stiff and eyes tight as he looks at the table, practically glaring a hole into the wood. Taka watches, feeling very confused, as Mondo bends over and— far too forceful for the easy shot he has— hits the cue ball and sends it flying, not coming anywhere close to hitting the eight ball that Taka knows he could have sunk easily had he wanted.
Back still stiff, Mondo straightens, sneer on his face, as he storms to the wall and leans against it in a would-be casual stance, if not for the clear anger radiating off him. What...? Why is he so... so angry? What had happened while he'd been outside...? Or was it something that he... that he had done...
But no. Surely Mondo couldn't possibly know what he and Hina were talking about...
R-right...?
Sakura (Hina said he could call her that, right?) gives Mondo a calculating look, a soft frown on her face, but goes to hit the ball when Mondo barks at her to do it. She lines up her shot and, with an even tone, says "eight ball, side pocket," before sinking the shot with ease, ending the game then and there.
"Good game, Mondo. You were a worthy adversary. We should play again sometime," the martial artist claims, looking at the irate biker steadily. Mondo scowls back, shrugging angrily.
"Yeah, whatever," he mutters, stalking over to the couch and taking a heavy seat, waves of tension practically billowing off of him. Naegi and Maizono— who are currently standing by the wall, having previously been watching the game— shoot confused glances at each other, clearly not understanding what is wrong with the biker any more than he does.
"Oh!" Hina suddenly exclaims, like she just figured something out, before dropping his hand immediately. Oh, he... he hadn't even noticed they were still holding hands...
"Anyway, Taka, I'm so glad we're friends now!" Hina exclaims, putting an odd amount of emphasis on the word friends. Taka gives her a strange look, not understanding the pointed look (so pointed even he can pick up on it) she gives in return, especially not when she shifts that pointed look between him and Mondo. Is she... trying to get him to... realize something?
When she sees that he is clearly not understanding what she is trying to say, she sighs softly and mutters something like 'boys' under her breath, which just makes Taka even more confused, honestly.
"Yep! Sure is nice to be friends and only friends, right Taka?" Hina tries again, her look so pointed that he thinks people could see it from space. And he gets that she's trying to tell him something, he's not that stupid! But he cannot, for the life of him, figure out what...
"U-uh, I mean... yes? It's nice to have... a new friend?" he tries in return, hoping that he says something that makes the girl stop looking at him like that.
No such luck, since now she's just sighing and shaking her head sadly... o-oh...
"You two friends now or somethin'?" Mondo's voice cuts through the slightly awkward silence in the room, causing Taka's eyes to dart up and over to the biker. Said biker is currently looking at Hina intensely, his expression a mystery to him, an emotion he can't for the life of him figure out swirling in his eyes... what...?
"Yep! Friends and only friends! Swimming buddies! Taka was just giving me some advice for a date I've got at the festival next week, he was sooo helpful. He's the best friend a girl could ask for!"
Okay. He's lost. He has absolutely no idea what is happening right now. Hina is staring at Mondo with intense eyes and Mondo... Mondo is...
Smiling...?
"Oh, uh, yeah. I mean, yeah! Hell yeah, he is! Best fuckin' friend!" Mondo exclaims, the irritation gone like it had never been there at all. And then, all of a sudden, Mondo is looking at him with... with his eyes shining and his mouth grinning and he... Taka, he...
Grk!
"Uh huh! Totally! Anyway, sorry we missed the game! It sounds like it was an intense one! You guys should play again sometime," Hina mentions, skipping over to Sakura and resting her head gently against the martial artist's shoulder. Sakura looks down at Hina with such tender fondness that it makes Taka ache inside to see... a-ah... it's too much to hope that anyone would ever look at him like that...
He starts somewhat when he feels an arm drape over his shoulder, his eyes wide as he looks up at the biker that he hadn't seen move, Mondo looking at the other pair with a grin.
"Hell yeah! Taka an' I should be headin' out now, though. Gotta do some fuckin' homework or some shit. Hit me up fer a rematch, Ogami, I ain't gonna lose that easy next time!"
"You're on, Owada-san. I'll let you know when a good time will be," Sakura replies evenly, bowing slightly with a small smile on her face. Mondo pumps his fist at her, before heading to the door, arm still around Taka, pulling him along gently.
"Fuck yeah! C'mon, Taka. I got yer stuff. Let's head ta the library or shit. Heh. Never fuckin' thought I'd say shit like that..."
With that, the pair exits the room, Taka's face impossibly flushed while the occupants of the rec room watch their departure with soft smiles.
And Taka... Taka just tries to focus on breathing...
"Heh, bad luck 'bout Hina, huh bro? Don't worry, though, plenty a' other fish in the sea," Mondo claims, a few minutes later, as they enter Taka's room to get his study materials.
Taka looks up at his friend, frown deep on his face.
"What... what do you mean, kyoudai?" Taka questions, the turn of phrase not one he's heard before. What do fish have to do with anything... or is it a joke because Hina is the Ultimate Swimming Pro...?
"Uh... ya know, chicks," Mondo explains, badly. At Taka's blank stare, Mondo frowns. "'Cuz she has a date or somethin'? An' how she kept callin' ya 'only friends?' Kind ofa bitch move, but eh. Ya can do better than her, Taka."
Better than... what? But he... they're friends... right?
"I have no idea what you are talking about, kyoudai! Hina is a wonderful friend!"
Mondo gives him an odd look, and Taka starts to feel nervous. He's missing something here, isn't he...? Oh dear...
"Yeah, but she's hot," Mondo explains, once again uselessly. What does her temperature have to do with anything...? "Ya know... sexy? Cute? A bombshell? Sucks ta be friend zoned, but ya'll find someone, bro. Heh, maybe I can help ya! Not that, uh... that I'm that great with chicks myself... always get so nervous an' yell at 'em, heh..."
Oh. Oh. Oh!
Mondo means... he thinks that...
Of course! Hina is... an- an attractive woman, he certainly has noticed that! She has many features that boys his age would find... er, appealing, he is sure!
A-and he notices that too! A-appreciates that too! Heh... h-heh...
Hmmmmmm...
However...
"A-ah! I understand, kyoudai! B-but you needn't worry about me! I am too focused on my studies to be bothered with such matters! The only job a student should have is to study hard and do well in school! P-perhaps, after school is over... but! I am not interested in such things! Not at the moment! And besides! I view Hina in a strictly platonic light! I hope that she and I will become great friends!"
Mondo is still frowning at him. W-what had he said wrong there...?
"Yeah, but ya can still wanna have sex with a chick, right? I mean... don't all guys? 'Specially one as hot as Hina?"
...
...
...!
Grk!
A-ah! Mondo, he is- is talking about-! S-sexual intercourse-!
How improper!
"I would never dream of such a thing! Sexual intercourse should be reserved for two individuals who are deeply in love! They should be in a long-term, committed relationship, at the very least! I would never be as improper— as- as immoral— as to think of a friend in such a way!"
Yes! That is it! Of course! That's why he doesn't feel anything for Hina; he respects her too much and wouldn't wish to be improper! Aha!
A-aha...
He just... doesn't want to objectify his friend...! S-surely... surely Mondo would understand that... surely, it's not that unusual for a guy to... to not...
Taka startles when he hears Mondo snort, before the biker starts laughing, his loud and boisterous laugh that Taka usually likes but now is feeling very queasy to hear. O-oh... o-oh no... he doesn't... he- why is he laughing, does he... does he...
(Does he know? Does he... has he figured it out? Oh god... is he going to hate him now? Did he just ruin... ruin everything? He's so stupid... so pathetic... how could he dare to-)
"'Course ya'd say that, kyoudai! Yer such a nerd! Noble an' all that crap. Ferget sometimes yer the Ultimate Moral Compass, heh. Well, that's cool then. Hope ya an' Hina become good friends, then. Ya need more friends, nerd."
Mondo strides over to him and wraps his arm around his shoulder again, looking down at him with soft eyes, and a soft smile, and Taka-
Taka feels-
Grk!
"Now c'mon. Let's get this fuckin' homework bullshit over with. Eugh. Bein' friend with ya sure is hard work, ain't it? Totally worth it, though," Mondo smiles, squeezing Taka's shoulder gently before pulling away and gesturing for Taka to hurry up and pack his things. Brain short-circuited, he can do nothing else but comply.
Things are fine... perfectly fine, Taka tells himself, his heart definitely not leaping out of his chest every single time Mondo brushes against him as they walk, the biker seeming to always be bumping into him or touching him or... or something.
Everything is fine, he chastises himself that night, heart pounding for unrelated reasons, when Mondo mutters softly to him, asking him if he wants to sleepover again that night, something they've not done since that first night.
Perfectly, perfectly fine, he thinks desperately, heart stopping entirely as Mondo pulls him close, his head nestled comfortably on Mondo's broad chest, the biker's hands absently running through his hair, humming that soft, tuneless lullaby he refuses to admit he absolutely adores until he eventually drifts off.
It's all so, so fine, it's ridiculous to think it could ever not be fine! Aha... ahahahaha! Ha... ha...
Ha...
(God, he's so screwed-)
Summary of homophobic section: Taka makes a friend at school when he is 8, a new boy who doesn't have the context about his grandfather and doesn't hate him immediately because of it. Taka, excited at having a new friend, rambles at him all the time about things he finds interesting and exciting. Which, since this is Taka that we're talking about, is mostly politics and morality.
They are friends for about a month, before Valentine's Day occurs. In Japan, it is traditional for girls to give boys chocolates. They give lower quality chocolate to boys they feel obligated to give something to, while they give higher quality or homemade chocolate to boys that they are romantically interested in. Taka had never gotten either kind of chocolate, but on that Valentine's Day, his friend gives him a homemade chocolate, which indicates that he is romantically interested in Taka.
Taka realizes then that he has a crush on the boy, something he's never had on any of the girls in his class. He is excited and happy about it, not knowing about homophobia. He kisses the boy, since he thinks the boy wants that.
However, after a moment he finds himself on the ground, the boy looking and acting disgusted while some other boys in his class come out and begin mocking him. Taka is confused, but quickly learns that the boy had been lying to him, pretending to be his friend when he actually hated him, and that he'd suspected that Taka had a crush on him and was trying to win a bet with a friend to prove that Taka was gay. He then tells Taka "There's something wrong with you, you disgusting freak!" and kicks him in the stomach.
Taka runs home after that, skipping school for the first and only time. When his mom comes home, he doesn't tell her what happens and keeps it to himself, thinking that there is something wrong with being gay. He pushes it down, then, forcing himself to pretend that he's not gay and that he's just not interested in relationships. Though, deep down… he knows the truth.
He also is afraid of what Mondo would think, if he ever found out his hidden truth, but he pushes this away since it's unhelpful to him.
Ah, so yeah. The event with Taka and the boy was not originally planned out when I began writing this story, I just realized that I kind of needed Taka to have a reason for being so opposed to being called gay, without it being him being homophobic. Reading over it, though, I realize how harsh it is... so I hope no one was harmed by it. Please know that I don't agree with Taka's thoughts about how being gay is immoral, and neither does he, really. He just... it was traumatic for him and his thoughts are what make sense to him, personally. But, throughout this story, he does learn that his thoughts are wrong and by the end of this story, I promise that he is fully accepting of his sexuality.
Also, I would like to state for the record that, when I originally wrote this chapter, I hadn't made Taka's mom die a month after his 'friend' turned out to be a homophobic jerk. That was something I added after finishing this story, realizing it was the only way my internal timeline would make sense. Regretfully, this means that Taka had two huge, emotionally horrible events happen back-to-back, which is… not fun. :-(
Anyway... at least Taka has another friend now. I like the idea of a Hina and Taka friendship, honestly. I hope I wrote her well.
Also... yes, pretty much their entire class thinks that Mondo and Taka are dating now, ha. I privately call them the "Hope's Peak Peanut Gallery."