CW: Underage content again. There is no summary, but the sections can be skipped pretty well without any problem. Let me know if you'd like a summary, though, and I'll write one.
Hey all! I'm on time this week! :-D
So! This chapter is the second half of the last chapter, so it picks up exactly where the last left off. There is some sexual content this week, and this time, it is awkward on purpose, ha. Like always, the single asterisk (*) marks the beginning of the explicit content and the double asterisk (**) marks the end. There are two main segments, with a brief interlude between them. There's also a new mark today, since there is a semi-sexual segment that is pretty important to the story, but has a lot of sexual dialogue. To let y'all know when this segment occurs, I put a tilde (~) when it begins, so if y'all wanna skim it, you can. This segment goes all the way up to the explicit content, so just keep going to the double asterisk if you choose to skim slash skip it.
Anyway! Thanks for all the comments, guys! I appreciate them all very much! :-D
Enjoy!
The walk to their room is done mostly in silence, neither teen particularly interested in conversation. Taka is doing his best to stop the anxiety and hope that wants to flow through him, while Mondo appears to be thinking about something very intently, if the furrowed brow and small frown Taka can see from the corner of his eye is anything to go by.
Luckily, though, it doesn't take them too long to get to their room, the pair entering it quickly. Taka can feel tension rise in him once the door opens and they're fully alone, and he thinks Mondo feels it too, as he falters in his confident gait for a moment, a look of uncertainty rising on his face.
But then he's moving again before the tension can fully settle, face a mask, directing them over to the couch, arm a warm band on Taka's waist. And Taka... he can do nothing other than follow, hoping against hope that this all gets resolved soon. The swirling inside him is getting quite annoying, to tell the truth...
Mondo gently lets go of Taka as he takes a seat on the couch, looking up at Taka with swirling emotion within his eyes, the main one being fear. Hating the look, Taka takes a seat a moment later, hand reaching out instinctively to grab Mondo's, hoping to provide comfort like usual. And while Mondo does smile, it seems more strained than it typically does, his eyes tight as he looks at Taka, like he... like he's nervous. Which makes sense, he has something to- to confess, but Taka hates it. If he could only find a way to take that tightness away...
The silence drags on for several seconds, the pair staring at one another nervously, before Mondo finally takes a deep breath and begins.
"Okay... so. Uh... shit. Shit. Fuck. I don't... I don't fuckin' know how to start this shit... fuckin' think 'bout it all the time, but nothin' ever seems good enough, an' I just can't fuckin'... shit. I'm messin' this up already, ain't I... goddamnit..." Mondo finally mutters, cheeks turning pink as he looks down, hands clenching tightly. Taka can feel the tension in the hand under his and he does his best to rub soothing circles on the tense appendage, hoping to provide some measure of relief. If anything, it seems to make Mondo tenser, his frown twisting further, which makes Taka's heart clench. He... he has to figure out how to fix this. To- to make Mondo relax...
Doing his best to smile, Taka squeezes the hand under his reassuringly, hoping he can figure out the words to say to get Mondo to trust in him more. To... to be more trustworthy...
"No, kyoudai! You're doing fine! It... it's okay, I promise! Nothing that you can say will change how I feel about you, Mondo... nothing. I- I promise," he beseeches, hoping that he sounds sincere enough, hoping that it helps Mondo even a fraction of the way Mondo's words always helps him.
Mondo stares at him for a long, lingering second, before looking away, towards the wall. But for the brief second before he looks away, Taka swears he can see... anguish in the biker's eyes. But... why? What could Mondo be hiding that could possibly make him look so upset? It hurts Taka to know that Mondo has something that pains him so much, and he would do anything if he could just take that pain away. To reassure the biker that it's okay. That Taka will always be there. That Taka... that he...
"Shit. Uh... okay. T-thanks," Mondo mutters, before pausing, his eyes full of tension and fear and pain. Taka can see that even though the biker is turned mostly away, and he wants so bad to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight, but Mondo looks like being touched would break him right now, so he stays where he is, feeling useless.
After a tense moment, Mondo continues, exhaling shakily.
"Okay. Just... I ain't ever told anyone this shit, alright? Not even my gang. I never... I never fuckin' could. I hadta be strong, the fuckin' leader. Couldn't afford ta be weak. I hadta keep the gang together, Daiya- fuck. He... he wanted me ta keep the gang together, so I fuckin' did, okay? E-even if I hadta lie ta do it. Ta... ta hide the truth, makin' sure no one fuckin' knew. 'Cuz... 'cuz if they knew, they'd know how fuckin' weak I was, an' ya can't be a leader if yer weak. Ya just... ya can't, an' I hadta lead them, Kiyo. Daiya, he- he... he wanted me ta keep 'em together, so I fuckin' did, I did, but... I... s-shit..."
Mondo stops again, his breathing heavy and his hands shaking desperately. Taka can feel how the hand under his trembles, but when he tries to twine their fingers— to get the shaking to stop— Mondo pulls away entirely, shifting so that he's at the edge of the couch, looking like he's half a second away from fleeing the conversation entirely. Taka tries to think fast, to come up with a way to comfort the teen, but he has no idea how. He doesn't understand what Mondo is saying, where he's going with all this, not really, and he doesn't want to say something and potentially make things a thousand times worse. Taka knows how volatile Mondo can be when upset; one wrong word can turn the pain to rage, and he doesn't think he could handle a fight. Not today, not after everything that's been going on. He feels so selfish, but he... he just can't. He can't do that to himself. Or Mondo.
So, instead, Taka just remains silent and useless, watching Mondo as he falls apart.
"See... Daiya. We were always close, ya know? He practically raised me, shit. Christ knows da wasn't gonna do it, he fuckin' hated me, never wanted another fuckin' brat ta feed. An' ma was barely there mentally, though I loved her, I guess. But Daiya, he... he was there fer me. He took care a' me. Made sure I had clothes an' food. Taught me shit, like math an' grammar, though we ain't ever used it, 'cuz fuck grammar. Even taught me English 'fore I could really talk, just 'cuz he wanted ta see if he fuckin' could. An' he was so fuckin' smart, too. Never did the whole school thing, not really, but he could read a book an' figure that shit out in an instance, while I always hadta struggle just ta read, shit. An' I... I always looked up ta him, ya know? He was everythin' I wanted ta be. Cool. Intelligent. Calm. Kind. Strong. He... he was everythin' I wasn't, an' I wanted ta be like him so bad. Did fuckin' anythin' I could ta be like him. Don't even know where the fuck I'd be without him, ta be honest. Prolly dead in a ditch somewhere, heh... shit. I... fuck..."
Mondo closes his eyes here, his breathing heavy and angry and pained. Taka watches— heart breaking at the pain he can do nothing to help— as Mondo digs his hands into his hair, undoing the pompadour crudely, clutching the curly strands so harshly it must hurt. Taka wants to help, but he's useless, just watching, too afraid to breech the distance and be helpful. God... why can't he just...
"A-an'... an' I loved him. Ya know? He was fuckin' everythin' ta me. My family. My brother. My friend. He just... he was the only one who ever saw anythin' worthwhile in me. The only one who thought I fuckin' mattered. Loved him more than I loved anythin' else, an' he loved me. We- we were so close, Kiyo. He was all I fuckin' had in the world, he... a-an' I had the gang, but it wasn't the fuckin' same. He was the leader then, not me. An' while we all were close, they didn't fuckin' need me. I was just the stupid kid brother. Most the guys were twice my age, an' I couldn't... I wasn't... I wasn't strong. Not like Daiya. Couldn't control my anger, my panic, my fuckin' fear. They didn't fuckin' respect me, not like they respected Daiya. An' I- I... I woulda done fuckin' anything ta get them ta respect me. Even... e-even... shit. Shit. Fuck. I can't. I- I- I... I fuckin' can't, shit, I- yer gonna fuckin' hate me, I can't do this Kiyo, I fuckin' can't-"
Mondo is clutching his hair so tight now he's practically pulling parts of it out, his body shaking fiercely and angrily, hyperventilating, and he looks so upset, in such pain, that Taka... Taka just can't handle it. He can't. And suddenly he knows. He knows. He has to do something, now, or else- or else he... he can't let Mondo keep hurting like this. Can't let him go on feeling this way, not when he can help it. And he has no idea what he has to do, but... but it has to be something, anything, anything at all to prove himself to Mondo, to prove that he can be trusted, that he won't leave him, that he loves him-
Darting forward, Taka carefully grabs Mondo's arms, pulling them gently but insistently away from his face, from his body. He doesn't know what he would do if Mondo resisted, he's not nearly as strong as the biker, but thankfully Mondo doesn't offer any resistance. He just lets his arms be pulled away, his eyes looking up at Taka, wide and watery and pained, pained, pained, and Taka wants to take that pain away. To erase it entirely. To take it into himself, if he has to, if only it means Mondo doesn't have to feel it himself. God, he... he really would do anything for this boy, wouldn't he...?
Unable to help himself, he wraps his arms around Mondo, tugging his head to rest against his chest, holding him tightly and securely. He feels Mondo start to struggle, and while he doesn't try to trap the teen, he doesn't let go, either. He loosens his hold, and he does his best to say comforting things, soft and low, like Mondo does for him.
"S-shh... M-Mondo, i-it's okay... I'm here, I- I promise... nothing you say to me will change anything, believe me Mondo, please... y-you are my best friend— more than my best friend— and I would... I would do anything for you. I don't care what you did, it will not change how I see you, kyoudai. I promise. I promise. Please... please believe me... you are a good person. I know that. I promise."
Mondo shudders deeply at Taka's softly spoken words, burying his head momentarily in Taka's chest, breathing heavily, trembling like a leaf. Taka is just about to get used to the sensation, to bring his hand up and rub circles on Mondo's back to help calm him, but then Mondo is tensing and he's pulling away, he's ripping himself from Taka's embrace, and it's all Taka can do to watch him, his eyes wide, as the biker shifts to sit stiffly against the arm of the couch, eyes distant and hazy as they glare at the floor. And Taka... Taka...
Taka can't help the absolute misery that hits him at the motion, his breath wanting to come out in a shaky gasp, but he can't, he has to be stronger, he can't let Mondo... M-Mondo know and feel bad and... and it's not the biker's fault that Taka is so untrustworthy, so horrible at comforting, so... s-so...
(Because of how distracted he is, Taka doesn't notice the look in Mondo's eyes. The way they shift from pained to resigned, and then to dull. He doesn't see the conflict that shows briefly on Mondo's face, or the way he clenches his fists so tightly his palms nearly bleed. He doesn't see how his body relaxes for one moment, resignation in every pore, before he tenses again, jaw set, his eyes reflecting the split-second decision he made. If Taka had... well. Let's just say it's probably better that he hadn't, truth be told...)
Taka gets jolted out of his panic and self-hatred when he feels a hand touch his carefully, feather light. He flinches, looking at Mondo with terrified eyes, but he settles when he sees familiar lavender, looking so sad and full of despair that Taka wants to wrap his arms around him again, take the pain away, but Taka learns his lessons quickly, and he isn't so stupid as to try that again. He can't even get himself to turn his hand like he truly wants to, entwine their fingers and provide comfort that way, because he's petrified that he's going to mess up again and drive Mondo even further away, and he can't... he can't do that, he- he...
"Shit... 'm sorry, Kiyo, didn't- didn't mean ta pull away like that. Just... shit, man. This all... it just... shit. I'm sorry," Mondo mutters, pulling Taka's eyes away from their hands and back up to the biker, who has a look of silent misery and resignation on his face, and Taka hates it. He... taking a deep breath, Taka tries again— since he always has to at least try— and he raises the hand Mondo isn't touching shakily.
Mondo doesn't move an inch as Taka slowly brings it closer to Mondo's face, giving the biker plenty of time to move if he wants. When Mondo doesn't, Taka lets his hand gently cup the warm cheek, gasping softly at how Mondo melts into the touch, his eyes closing and his shoulders relaxing, his other hand coming up to cutch at his hand, holding it flush to his face. A-ah... so this was the right thing to do... he'll have to remember that for- for next time... if there ever is a next time...
"I-it's okay, Mondo," Taka finds himself muttering, not entirely sure what he wants to say, just knowing he has to say something, if only to get the silent misery off Mondo's face. "It's okay. I- I understand. But you don't have to be afraid, Mondo. I... I'm not going to leave you. No matter what. Please... please trust me. I want you to trust me. Do you... do you trust me?"
Ah. He hadn't- hadn't meant to say that last part. God, he hadn't. Why can't he just... just be supportive without making everything about himself? Why... why can't he just listen, and be helpful, and be caring, without making Mondo prove himself? Why... god...
"Yes, kyoudai... with my fucking life... 'course I trust you," Mondo mutters back, bringing Taka's attention back to him. A-ah... so Mondo- Mondo does trust him. With his life. That... that's good. That...
But what about with his heart? His traitorous mind whispers, pained despite himself. What about his soul? Does he trust you with that?
Ah. Ah. That... hm.
He doesn't ask it, knowing how stupid a thought it is, and just smiles softly, feeling glad that Mondo's eyes are still closed, so that the biker can't see the pain that is still swirling within him.
"Shit, man... okay. Okay, I... I'll tell you," Mondo mutters again, before opening his eyes and looking at Taka with determination. But... also...
Resignation...?
Unease enters Taka then, but he has to push it away when Mondo sighs again, shifting so he's closer to Taka, both of their hands still touching, Taka's left still pressed tight to a warm cheek. He doesn't have time to feel uneasy, not when Mondo begins to talk, a small, sad smile on his lips. He has to focus on being supportive, after all!
"So. Uh. My bro, he... he had a lot a' ideas 'bout what it meant ta be a man. Ya know? Like... real men don't hit or snap at chicks. Real men never hurt people weaker than them. Real men stand up fer those who can't stand up fer themselves. Things like that, ya know? An' he... he made sure I knew it. All a' it. 'Cuz... 'cuz he wanted me ta be better than our piece a' shit ol' man. Ta be a better man. Ta be a good man, no matter what. An' lots a' his lessons were fuckin' fantastic, right? I still use 'em ta this day, 'cuz he was right an' his teachin' was important ta remember. Right?"
Mondo pauses again, before sighing, his eyes looking down as he shakes his head slightly— not enough to dislodge Taka's hand— lips twisted in a grimace.
"But... shit. There were some things he just... I dunno. He felt strongly 'bout, but I never really... really understood. An' one a' those things was... was 'bout who a man should, ya know... be 'ttracted ta. An' he wasn't fuckin' homophobic, shit! He wasn't completely comfortable with it, but we had a couple a' guys in the gang who liked dudes, not chicks, an' he was fine with it. Stood up fer people like that, too. But he... he always said ya hadta choose one. That people who chose both were greedy or somethin'; not faithful. Or confused, or shit like that. Depended on the day. He… he told me I hadta... hadta choose. An' when I said I liked chicks… he said I hadta stick with it. That I hadta keep on likin' chicks. An' I just... I fuckin' did. 'Cuz he told me I hadta. An' 'cuz I do like chicks, know I do. Makes my blood boil when I see a hot chick, like Hina or Sayaka, or somethin'. So, if I could only like one... I knew I liked chicks. Always fuckin' knew that shit, even when I was a fuckin' kid." Mondo pauses, his face hesitating, eyes uncertain. "But..."
Mondo squirms on the couch, looking nervous, but not quite as terrified as earlier. That... that's good... right? That means he's- he's more comfortable... right?
"Shit, man. I... I think I'm 'ttracted ta dudes, too. Like... I fuckin' tried not ta be, ya kiddin' me? Always pushed it outta my mind, said I was bein' stupid, that I couldn't like both, that Daiya told me I couldn't like both. An' I knew I liked chicks, so I told myself I couldn't like dudes. That I just fuckin'... I dunno. Admired 'em. Wanted ta be 'em. Dunno. Just... anythin' but that I really fuckin' wanted ta fuck 'em. 'Cuz that shit... couldn't do it. Wasn't fuckin' allowed. An'... an' it never really fuckin' mattered, ya know? Didn't affect me much. Never... never really hadta fuckin' examine it when chicks were easy ta like. Easy ta be 'ttracted ta. But..."
Mondo pauses yet again, before looking up at Taka. And Taka... Taka cannot help but gasp when he sees the heat within the lavender eyes, the way Mondo looks him up and down, licking his lips. His hand clenches Taka's tighter, pressing it further to his cheek, turning his face subtly to kiss his palm, lips like brands on Taka's sensitive skin. And Taka...
Grk!
~"Fuck, man. Kiyo. Yer just... yer jus' so fuckin' hot, man. Like... Jesus fuckin' Christ... make my blood fuckin' boil when ya move, when ya look at me with those fuckin' eyes... holy shit, man. Like a fuckin' wet dream, goddamn. Always kept a lid on it, told myself I didn't fuckin' want ya like that. That ya were jus' my brother, nothin' else. But… shit, man... on Halloween. The way ya pressed against me that mornin', the way ya moaned so fuckin' sexily, humpin' my fuckin' leg... felt so fuckin' disgustin', thinkin' a' ya like that when ya were jus' sleepin'. But then ya fuckin' moaned my name an' I jus' fuckin'... almost lost it, man, then an' fuckin' there. Christ, the things I wanted ta fuckin' do ta ya... thought somethin' was wrong with me; thought I was a monster, disgustin', but I jus'... couldn't fuckin' stop. Ya were in my fuckin' head... an' when I'd jerk it at night, couldn't get yer sexy little moans out, would fuckin' cum with yer name on my lips, an' I jus'..."
Mondo is panting heavily now, eyes on fire, and Taka can feel an answering heat rise inside him. The heat that has been simmering all week, since before they got sick, desire mixed with lust. It curbs his anxiety, his fear, and when Mondo presses closer to him, arm snaking around his waist, he goes willingly. His hand drops from Mondo's face to his chest, and when Mondo leans forward to kiss his neck, Taka gladly tilts his head, giving the biker more space, letting out a moan unintentionally. But when he hears Mondo groan in response, hot and heavy, he finds he doesn't mind. He just moans again, louder, adoring the way Mondo bites his neck harder in response.
"God, jus' like that, Kiyo, Jesus fuckin' Christ, dude... so fuckin' hot," Mondo mumbles, hands hot on his skin.
But then Mondo pulls back. It's only a little, but it makes Taka let out a soft noise of discontent, flushing at Mondo's cheeky smirk. Mondo kisses his nose gently, sweetly, and it's almost too much for him, honestly... god...
"Heh. So fuckin' cute, man... so fuckin' sexy... but, uh... wanna finish this. Then- then we can... heh. Then I can show ya what I mean. 'Kay?"
Taka finds himself nodding quickly at the significant look Mondo gives him, smiling shakily when Mondo smiles at him, kissing his cheek sweetly.
"'Kay. Shit, where the fuck was I... right. So, tried ta stop it. How I fuckin' felt. How I wanted ya. But then... then we fuckin' had the bath. An', shit dude, I have no fuckin' idea what possessed me ta suggest that shit. Yeah, I read that fuckin' article, but I fuckin' knew that shit wasn't gonna fuckin' work. Not... not with how I... s-shit. But then ya were agreein', an' I couldn't back down, an' then I fuckin' saw yer dick, an' fuck did I wanna... s-shit, man. Can't even say the shit I wanted ta do ta ya then, Christ. Spent the entire bath silently freakin' the fuck out, not knowin' what it all meant, shit. Wanted ta be close ta ya, wanted ta touch ya, wanted... Christ. An' then, then ya had a fuckin' wet dream every fuckin' night. Humpin' me, moanin' my name like a fuckin' prayer… god fuckin' damn. God, did I wanna fuck ya. Never fuckin' wanted anyone more, Kiyo, shit. I- I was so fuckin' confused, didn't know why I fuckin' wanted ya so fuckin' bad. Thought it was maybe 'cuz I needed ta fuck a chick or somethin', since I ain't never done that shit 'fore, but I didn't wanna go an' do that, Christ. Even if I could without fuckin' yellin' at 'em an' shit. But I didn't wanna ruin our friendship either. Ya… ya mean more ta me than just a casual fuck, an' I didn't know what that meant, either, an' I just... I- I jus'... shit..."
Mondo is breathing heavy again, but his eyes are looking more panicked than full of desire, and Taka wants to help, tries to help. Not knowing what else to do, he leans forward and presses his forehead to Mondo's, tender and meaningful. And Mondo... Mondo gasps, eyes wide, looking even more freaked out, but then he settles, he settles, he presses back to Taka and he keeps going, voice low and sensual and a little too fast, a little too laid back, but Taka understands. He... he understands...
"But then ya were fuckin' tense as shit. An' I knew how ta help ya. How- how ta... knew what ya needed, Kiyo, knew ya so fuckin' well. Ya were so tight, shit, man, an' if y'ain't ever jerked it... knew ya'd need that shit, an' I knew I could help. Fuckin' swear I meant it in'cently when I started, fuckin' promise, jus' wanted it ta be a suggestion ya did in yer own time. But then ya looked so upset, an' I couldn't bear ta see ya look near ta tears, not when I could fuckin' help, an' I... C-Christ... seein' ya, hand on yer fuckin' dick, lookin' at me like I was a fuckin' three course meal... fuck man... I never fuckin' wanted anyone more, felt so hot fer it, wanted ta touch ya, ta taste ya, all a' ya... a-an' then... when ya couldn't do it..."
Mondo pauses, letting out a soft keen, twisting his head so he can kiss Taka's neck again, nipping and biting and sucking, and god. Just... god.
"Wanted ta touch ya so fuckin' bad, man. Knew I could help ya, knew I could make ya feel so, so fuckin' good. Wanted ta make ya feel good, ta take that tension 'way from yer shoulders. An' as far fuckin' gone as I was, couldn't make m'self stop. Made the offer, an' then ya were agreein', an' I felt so fuckin' scared, but then I had ya 'gainst the wall, pantin', achin' fer it, fer me, an' I jus'... I jus' couldn't fuckin' stop. An' then I was touchin' ya, felt yer heat under my hand, the curve a' yer ass on my dick, an' it was so much fuckin' better than jerkin' off, y'ain't got no fuckin' clue... couldn't help how I bit ya, the shit I said ta ya, barely 'member what all that shit was. Jus' wanted ta make ya feel so fuckin' good, Kiyo. So fuckin' good. The way ya made me feel. An' then I felt ya cum, an' then I was fuckin' cummin', an' it ain't ever felt like that, never felt so fuckin' good, an'... an' it...
"It fuckin' terrified me, man. When all was said an' done, my fuckin' brain comin' back online, screamin' at me that I jus' fucked all a' this shit up. That ya were gonna hate me, despise me, think I took advantage a' ya, an' I jus'... I fuckin'... I couldn't lose ya, man, ya meant so much fuckin' more than a fuckin' orgasm, shit... but then- then ya were tellin' me it was okay, that I didn't fuckin' mess everythin' up, that I was jus' helpin' ya out an' shit. An' I fuckin'... shit, man. Took a hold a' that shit and held the fuck on. Told myself that I was jus' helpin' ya out, nothin' more. Didn't know why I fuckin' wanted it so bad, but I chalked it up ta the fact I ain't ever got laid 'fore, figured that fuckin' made me desperate fer any fuckin' contact. Told myself I wasn't gay, that I liked chicks, so I couldn't possibly fuckin' want ya like that. It was jus' what any teenage boy would feel if they were screwin' 'round with a friend."
Mondo pauses, nuzzling Taka's neck, kissing lightly now, tenderly, soothing the harsh bites from earlier. And Taka can't do anything more than listen, the images running through his mind too risqué to even mention.
"But I couldn't fuckin' deny how much I wanted ta do that again. An' when... when I felt ya get tense again, when ya looked so strung up... knew I could help. Knew how ta help. But I... I laid down some rules. Fer m'self ta follow. 'D only touch ya, nothin' else. Would jerk y'off, silent as a fuckin' mouse, no fuckin' hickeys or shit. Jus'... jus' a bro helpin' a bro. S'all.
"But then... then I was touchin' ya. An' ya were so sexy, man, so fuckin' sexy. Moanin' an' pressin' 'gainst me an' shit... an' I couldn't fuckin' stop myself, shit. Hadta do somethin', or I was gonna fuckin' explode. An' then I could feel ya were so close, wanted ya ta let go, so I fuckin' started ta talk, fuckin' random ass bullshit, an' then ya were cummin' so fuckin' hard, god, Kiyo. An', jus'... fuck, man. Had no idea what the fuck I was doin', jus' knew ya liked it, an' I sure as hell liked it, an' jus'... thought that as long as I didn't fuckin' cum it was fine. That it- all the rest. That could jus' be me helpin' ya out, ya know? But then..."
Mondo pauses yet again, this time for longer, breathing heavy against Taka's neck. And then he gives one last kiss, sweet and tender as can be, before pulling back, looking Taka in the eyes. And Taka... he can see fear, still. Some lingering pain. But also... also something else. Something tender. Something sweet. Something... adoring...
"But then. When... when Hina said what she did. 'Bout... 'bout likin' both genders. An' Sakura, 'bout it bein' different fer both genders, yet still likin' 'em. An'... an' you... shit. Fuckin' shook everythin' I've been tryin' ta keep down. Couldn't keep denyin' I wanted ya just 'cuz I ain't gay, right? I ain't got any clue what Daiya would think a' me if he knew. Prolly… prolly be disgusted or somethin'. A-an' I fuckin' hate that thought, man. Don't want him hatin' me, not- not ever. But... I... shit. I don't wanna keep pushin' this down, either. I fuckin' want ya, Kiyo. An' I think ya fuckin' want me, too. An' I jus'... I don't wanna keep denyin' it. I don't know what the fuck this means fer us, or what the fuck it'll make us, but I jus'... shit, man. An' if I'm fuckin' off base, if y'ain't fuckin' want me like that, shit man, tell me, an' I'll jus'-"
"No!" Taka cries, jolting at the rush of panic that fills him. He sees Mondo jolt back too, eyes wide, and he winces as he realizes how his words could be construed and finds himself shaking his head, frantic. "A-ah! I mean! Yes! Or, I... yes, Mondo. I... I w-want you, too..."
Understatement of the century, he thinks to himself privately, heart clenching at the wide-eyed look Mondo is still giving him. The biker seems to get over the shock quickly, though, as before long his eyes are lidded, looking at Taka with such intense heat that the momentary chill inside of him is instantly battled away. And then Mondo is grinning, all cocksure and arrogant, and Taka finds that he absolutely adores it, god...
"Heh. Fuckin'... fuckin' knew it, Kiyo, shit... I was prolly obvious as shit, too, heh. Jus'... can't fuckin' help m'self 'round ya. Yer so fuckin' hot, man. The way yer eyebrows get all bunched up when ya study. The way yer eyes light up when yer excited. That fuckin' self-satisfied grin when ya figure somethin' out... shit. Jus' fuckin'... all a' it, man. Fuckin' all a' it. Y'ain't got any idea how crazy ya make me, Kiyo. God fuckin' damn. Were possible, 'd spend rest a' my life 'xplorin' ya. Takin' y'part. Jus'... fuck..."
Mondo is breathing heavily by the end of his sentence, words starting to slur so badly Taka can barely figure out what the biker means to say. His body is very responsive to it, though. It would concern him if he had any blood left for his brain to think with. He is so painfully hard that it's hard to think, really. He just... he wants...
"An'... an' I think I am. Bisexual, or some shit, since it's different with dudes than chicks fer me. Different with you. More incessant an' shit. On fire. Didn't fuckin' wanna be, but ya jus'... fuckin' drive me up the walls. Want ya so bad, Kiyo. So fuckin' bad. An' I don't know much 'bout all this shit. What it means ta be bisexual or whatever. Jus' know I want ya. An' I... shit. Can I... I wanna taste ya, Kiyo, so fuckin' bad. Wanna know what yer dick tastes like, please, shit, man. Wanna make ya feel good, show ya what ya mean ta me. If y'ain't wanna, I won't, but, Kiyo, man-"
"Yes," Taka breathes, uncertain if there's any oxygen left in his brain or if he's going to just waste away into nothing now. Because... because if Mondo is saying what Taka thinks he's saying... then god, yes, please.
Mondo's eyes widen, before narrowing again, the heat somehow intensifying. He has a sharp grin on his face, a little shaky, but god is it attractive. Before Taka can get too excited at it all, however, a hint of uncertainty enters Mondo's eyes again, his grin twisting into a small grimace.
"Ah, shit... okay, just wanna be totally fuckin' sure we're on the same page here 'fore I start anythin', okay? I'm talkin' 'bout suckin' yer fuckin' dick. Ya get that, right? An' I think it goes without fuckin' sayin' that I ain't ever done this shit 'fore, so I can't promise I'll be any good at it or shit, but... Jesus Christ do I wanna try. Jesus fuckin' Christ, man..."
"Yes, I think I managed to understand that one, thank you," Taka comments lightly, his tone a little dry, but... come on. He's not five. He- he understands perfectly what Mondo means. And perhaps a handful of months ago he wouldn't have, would have felt lost and clueless and uncertain, but being friends with Mondo has certainly improved his vocabulary pertaining to the common vernacular... "My answer, er... does not change."
Mondo looks him deep in the eyes for several long, lingering seconds, before nodding sharply, the grin returning as he shifts subtly closer.
"Heh, yeah, prolly deserved that shit. Just wanted ta be clear, ya know? Don't want me ta start goin' down on ya only fer ya ta get upset 'cuz I wasn't fuckin' clear on this shit. Don't ever wanna upset you, Kiyo. Not fuckin' ever. But uh... shit. Fuckin'... yeah. Okay. Let's do this shit."
Mondo shifts a little awkwardly on the couch, before sliding off of it and onto his knees, kneeling before the couch (and Taka) with ease. Taka can feel his breath escape him again at the sight, his mind completely shorting out. Because he has been— unintentionally, he swears— dreaming about this for weeks now. Mondo, on his knees, looking up at him with heat and fire and desire. It's made him feel absolutely disgusting, but now... knowing that Mondo liked listening to his reactions to his dreams, knowing it turned him on, as it were... a-ah. It still is embarrassing, especially knowing he'd apparently been moaning Mondo's name, oh god, but now he has some reason to like them, too. And when Mondo shuffles to be between his legs, spreading them gently as he goes... a-ah. Well.
Taka can only watch— mouth partially open and his pupils blown, he is sure— as Mondo reaches with slightly shaking hands for his fly. He can't help the small whine he lets out when Mondo starts slowly undoing it, taking his time, seeming to be psyching himself up for it, perhaps. Once it's completely undone, Mondo wordlessly slides Taka's trousers off, eyes intent on Taka's tented tighty whities. He stops here for a moment, hands hot brands on Taka's thighs, before looking up at Taka, eyes smoldering with desire, but with a hint of concern within them that he is so used to seeing by now it just makes his heart melt, rather than worry.
"S-shit man... really fuckin' doin' this, ain't we... goddamn. Never fuckin' thought I'd be doin' this shit, 'specially 'fore I had this shit done ta me, first. But damn, wouldn't have it any other way, Kiyo. Been wond'rin' what ya taste like since the day in the bath. But, uh... if ya wanna stop, fer any reason, tell me. Okay? Know I say this ev'ry time, but I fuckin' mean it. Don't wantcha just goin' 'long with this shit just 'cuz ya think I wantcha ta. Got me?"
Taka smiles shakily down at the biker, his manhood so hard he barely can think at all. But the words... god, he adores them. God, he adores this boy. Just... god...
"I- I understand, M-Mondo. And I... I don't mind. You asking every time. I- I find it- it sweet. B-but... the same goes for you, kyoudai. If you- if you want to stop... for any reason at all... I will not be upset with you. I promise," he swears, meaning it wholeheartedly. He may be a bit disappointed, but he'd rather Mondo feel safe and not pressured than obtain physical gratification.
Mondo grins up at him at his words, before leaning forward to press a feather light kiss to Taka's inner thigh, which causes him to gasp loudly. His back arches off the couch at the sensation, eyes raising unintentionally to the ceiling as his head snaps back. He hears Mondo chuckle at his reaction, and when Taka looks down again, the biker is smiling softly, eyes adoring as they look at him.
"So goddamn cute, Kiyo... fuckin' Christ... but, uh... don't think I'll need ta do that, but... might. Dunno, really. Like 've said, ain't ever done this shit 'fore. Even if I do gotta stop, won't leave ya hangin', man. That I fuckin' promise," Mondo mutters with meaning, eyes intent on his. After a second, Mondo looks away, down at Taka's package, licking his lips once more. Grk... "Alright, Kiyo. Gonna... gonna get started now. If I do anythin' that feels bad or painful, let me know immedit'ly, an' I'll fuckin' adjust, okay?"
Taka nods fervently, adding a breathy yes in case Mondo can't see him. He sees the small smirk that rises on the biker's face at the sound, but he doesn't look up at Taka again. He just... he leans forward, slow and sensual, and he... he...
*He kisses the side of Taka's cock through his underwear.
Grk!
He gasps and then quickly moans at the sensation, the subtle heat of Mondo's lips a tantalizing promise of what is to come. And as Mondo presses another kiss, and then another, Taka wonders how in the world he is going to last when he feels about ready to burst from this alone. He doesn't want to conclude early and miss this wonderful feeling, so he lets himself think of unpleasant things, wanting to extend this. He even lets himself touch the ball of anxiety that still is swirling in his heart, and that works wonders to curb his enthusiasm. Sadly, it also makes him a little depressed, but eh. Beggars can't be choosers, and all that...
"Holy shit... so fuckin' good, Kiyo, better than I fuckin' 'magined an' I ain't even done shit yet. Ohh, gonna make ya feel so fuckin' good, baby... so fuckin' good," Mondo mutters against his thigh, looking up briefly with heat. Before Taka has any hope of comprehending the words, let alone replying back, Mondo is reaching up, fingers teasing his waistband tantalizingly. When Mondo looks up, question in his eyes, Taka responds nonverbally by subtly lifting his hips, hoping Mondo gets his meaning. Judging by the wolfish grin he sees on Mondo's lips, his eyes fully blown as he begins lowering his briefs, Taka's cock free at last... a-ah... he has to touch the ball of anxiety again in order to keep himself in check. How embarrassing!
"Oh, holy fuckin' shit... really doin' this, shit, man, holy... shit..." Mondo mutters, eyes intent on his cock, looking utterly ravenous. Taka now fully understands why boys his age are always talking about things like this. It... it sure is... hm.
**However, when Mondo leans forward, mouth open to take him in, something pops into his brain from his sexual education, making him sit upright, eyes wide.
"W-wait!" he cries, wincing immediately at the way Mondo flinches back, his eyes wide with panic.
"Holy shit, Taka. What, man?! Are ya okay?! Did I do something?! Do ya wanna stop?! I- I... shit..." Mondo blurts out before Taka can hope to continue, making Taka feels absolutely horrible. A-ah... it's times like this that he almost wishes he didn't have his darn morality!
"N-no, Mondo, that is not it, I swear! Just... w-we... we should use a condom! B-before, there was statistically less likelihood of spreading disease, though we likely still should have used one then, too! But this is- i-is... it's a lot more contact! And! If either of us h-have any, er... STD's or STI's, we could- could, um... give it to the other! Condoms help prevent that!"
The look Mondo is giving him right now is almost indecipherable. Like a cross between freaked out, pissed off, and utterly adoring, and Taka has no idea what to make of any of it. After a few moments, Mondo lets out a quick snort, which is followed closely by laughter, the biker leaning against Taka's knee as he shakes with the uncontrollable laughs. W-well! Excuse him for caring about their sexual safety!
"Holy fuckin' shit dude. Only you, man. Only fuckin' you would fuckin' stop someone from goin' down on ya ta lecture 'bout sexual safety an' shit, goddamn, man. Yer so fuckin' incredible, Kiyo, so fuckin'," Mondo mutters against him, several moments later, looking up with shining eyes and a happy grin. After a moment of that, he sobers up, shaking his head firmly. "But shit. Nah, man. 'M good. Got myself checked out when we started all a' this shit, ya know? 'M clean, which fuckin' makes sense. I ain't ever done shit like this with no one but you. An' since I doubt ya've ever done anythin' either, bet yer clean, too. Plus, condom would defeat the purpose, Kiyo. Wanna taste you, not plastic. If ya really wanna make a fuss 'bout this, I'll do it, but... don't think it'll be a problem, man. An' I know it'll feel better fer ya if y'ain't wearin' that shit. 'Kay? But it's yer choice. I'll do whatever ya want, babe."
Taka feels his cheeks flush at the casual usage of the pet name, loving the way it sounds on Mondo's lips. Because of his distraction, it takes him a moment to remember Mondo had asked his opinion on what to do. And so, cheeks still flushed, he thinks about it. Well... he knows what the responsible and safe thing to do is. But...
"I-it is up to you, kyoudai! I... I trust you entirely. And if you think it will not be a problem, then... then I will follow your lead!"
And, to his surprise, he finds he means it. He's fairly certain he doesn't have any diseases, sexual or otherwise, and if Mondo says he doesn't, then... well. He's inclined to believe him. It would still be safer to use a condom regardless, knowing that the only completely safe way to have sex— oral or otherwise— is to use protection, but... well. Maybe he's willing to take a risk today. Maybe.
Mondo gives him a calculating look, humming softly.
"Shit, man. I dunno. Ya prolly know more 'bout the safety shit than I do. Never took sex ed, just know what Daiya taught me. An' he mostly focused on what ta do with a chick, not another dude. Didn't even know that suckin' dick could be a problem. Though… it makes sense, I guess, heh. I don't think it should be a problem, but, uh... yer choice. Don't mind either way. Prefer without, but, uh... want ya ta be secure in what we do more than anythin' else. 'Kay?"
Taka takes in a shaky breath, heart so full it almost hurts. God, this boy... he will never cease to amaze him, will he? With a soft smile, he nods, his mind made up entirely. Safety is important, yes, but... but he trust Mondo. Completely. Fully. He really, really does...
"Okay, Mondo... I- I appreciate it... m-my answer is still the same, though. I... I want... what you want. I... er..."
Mondo grins up at him then, eyes smoldering again, causing Taka's words to trail off into a gasp.
"Want me ta suck ya fuckin' dry, no sleeve?" Mondo questions innocently, eyes dancing with mirth. Mouth dry, Taka can only nod numbly, breath shaky again as Mondo snickers, nodding back. "Yeah. Fuckin' thought so, kinky bastard. Fuck, man. Gonna make ya feel so good. Promise. Fuckin'... fuckin' promise..."
*Moment of pause done with, Mondo looks back at Taka's cock, eyes on fire once more. And this time, when Mondo leans forward, mouth open... Taka says nothing, just watches, heart racing with anticipation as Mondo gets closer and closer. And then-
"O-ohh," he moans lowly, eyes slamming shut at the feeling of heat that surrounds him, his gut clenching and his cock twitching with his excitement. He has to touch the anxiety again to curb it, but it's not working as well, not with how incredible this feels. He... he's really not going to last long, is he? How... how embarrassing...
However... before he can really get used to the feeling, Mondo is pulling back, a grimace on his face, gagging a bit. Instantly worried, Taka sits up straight again, looking at the biker with concern.
"M-Mondo?! Are you... are you okay?" Taka questions, his voice shaking and his body both hot and cold as his desire wars cruelly with his worry. Mondo looks up at him, grimace still present, his cheeks pink. Taka is about to start worrying that Mondo didn't like it, that he just realized that he's not, actually, bisexual, but then the biker is rubbing the back of his neck, letting out a shaky laugh.
"Shit, man. 'M fine. Just, uh... was a bit too enthusiastic. Made me choke a bit. Knew I shouldn't a' done what I saw on porn, heh... just felt so fuckin' good, yer cock on my tongue, man, couldn't- couldn't fuckin' help myself... taste fuckin' incredible, Kiyo, hot damn..."
It's Taka's turn to choke, his mind whiting out with Mondo's words and their meaning, the way he'd said cock, his rough, rumbling voice making it sound so incredibly filthy... mmm. He's definitely not going to last long...
That fact grows truer as he watches, eyes impossibly wide, as Mondo gets a considering look on his face, the biker humming as he freaking studies Taka's cock, biting his lip in thought as he contemplates something. Oh, god. This man is going to kill him, isn't he...? Ohhh, but what a sweet death...
Honestly, part of Taka (the part that is still able to think, small as it is) thinks this should feel awkward. That he should be embarrassed or something. But as he sees Mondo grin, eyes lighting up with renewed enthusiasm, he can't help the rush of affection and love, love, love he feels. God... Mondo is just so adorable right now, so much so that Taka can finally understand what Mondo means when he calls him both cute and sexy, which he'd always thought couldn't really coexist together. Because, while he still doesn't understand why Mondo sees him as sexy at all, he definitely understands finding someone incredibly cute and incredibly sexy at the exact same time.
"Hmm... gonna try somethin', 'kay, Kiyo? Don't know if it'll work, but, uh... let me know if it's not good or anythin', yeah?" Mondo rumbles, looking up with his head tilted, eyebrows furrowed a little with thought still. Still finding him utterly adorable, Taka can't help the ridiculous smile he gets on his lips, nodding enthusiastically.
"O-of course, Mondo! W-whatever... whatever you think is b-best..."
Mondo is smirking again, then, eyes relaxed and full of heat once more. And Taka...
"Heh. 'Kay, Kiyo. Here's goes again..."
Taka doesn't even have any time to prepare before Mondo is leaning forward again, mouth only partially open, heading straight for his cock, and Taka-
Grk!
Okay! So! Apparently, the thing that Mondo 'wasn't sure would work?' Was to lick the head of his cock, tongue swirling along his slit, before going down the side of his shaft, tongue a hot brand as it goes.
Ah!
Taka is helpless against the moans he lets out, back arching again as he looks up at the ceiling, panting at the sensation. It's not quite as good as the previous sensation, but he, uh... he still really, really likes it... god...
Mondo does this for a little while, exploring his cock with his tongue, like he's mapping it out, Taka moaning up a storm. After a minute or so, though, he seems to grow bored of this, pulling back a bit as he looks at Taka's cock with concentration again, Taka watching him through slitted eyes, wondering what he's about to do next. Because if it feels even a fraction as good as the last thing...
"Hm... gonna try an' suck yer cock again, 'kay, Kiyo? Won't go as hard, heh. Go slow an' shit. 'Kay?"
Taka just nods desperately, barely even able to hear anything through his roaring desire. He does feel the way his heart clenches at the soft look Mondo gives him, his lips turning into an affectionate smile for a moment, before the smirk is back, eyes full of heat once more. God... definitely going to be the death of him. His tombstone will read 'died by cock sucking.' He'd be embarrassed by it, but honestly... he doesn't really care. Not at all.
Not when Mondo is leaning forward yet again, eyes strangely determined as he focuses on his task. And Taka just... he just goes along for the ride, really.
The sensation of warm, wet heat surrounding him is as good as it was the last time, so much better than Mondo's tongue swirling around him, and that had already felt so utterly good. Mondo doesn't move for a moment, just pauses when Taka's head is entirely within his mouth, but then he's going deeper, before pulling back. It's shallow at first, little bobs of his head, but it soon grows more enthusiastic, back and forth, up and down, all warm heat and velvet smoothness, and Taka... Taka...
Grk!
It's all Taka can do to hold onto his release, his climax coming so much faster than usual, despite his best efforts. He's trying so hard to hold on, not wanting this to end so soon, but god. It's like trying to block a waterfall again, but this time he doesn't even have hands to work with. He's just getting drenched, unable to do anything against the furious flowing that is running over him, through him, all around him, god, it's so fucking good-
And it's not perfect. Even through his intense desire and pleasure, he can tell that Mondo has clearly never done this before, even despite his enthusiasm. It's a bit sloppy, for one, his movements jerking a little more than they likely should. For another, Taka can occasionally feel teeth scrap against his tender flesh which is, uh... not pleasant, making him hiss a couple time despite himself. Mondo corrects himself quickly, working to keep his teeth out of the way, but it still happens a few more times. And there are a couple times when Mondo gags again, taking too much, too quickly.
However... despite that, it still feels so utterly incredible that he has absolutely no complaints. None at all. Especially since the biker gets better as he goes along, his mouth growing used to the feel of the motion. Mondo sometimes pulls back with a warm *plop*, taking heaving breaths, but he doesn't go far, just keeps on licking, until he's able to go back to sucking, his hands helping with whatever he can't fit into his mouth.
And Taka... as much as he wants to hold on, as much as he wants this to last forever, he knows he can't. It's starting to become painful and if he holds on any longer, he's afraid he's going to hurt himself.
And so, with a desperate cry, he reaches down and tugs on Mondo's hair a little, trying to get his attention. Unfortunately, this just makes Mondo moan deeply, the sound resonating through his cock, making him gasp as he almost loses control. But he holds on, not wanting to do this without warning Mondo, letting him pull back, but he has to do it quick, because he can't hold it back any longer, goddamn-
"M-Mondo, I- I'm not... s-shi- shoot, I... I- I'm gonna..."
He tries to pull back on Mondo's hair again, trying to tell him without words, but that just makes Mondo moan again, the biker surging forward, twisting his hand just so and Taka- before he can stop it, Taka is cumming, so hard he screams, throat aching with the force, but he doesn't care, god he doesn't care, because that was the best fucking thing that has ever happened to him and he can't find it in him much to care about much of anything, really, and he just- h-he just-
When he finally stops twitching, every last drop expelled out of him, he leans bonelessly against the couch, eyes wide and unseeing as they look at the ceiling, breathing so utterly hard he doesn't know if he's ever going to be able to get it under control. Through it all, he can feel Mondo around him still, the biker seeming not to mind the cum he'd just, er... he can't even think of the right term, his mind so whited out, honestly. Mondo just keeps sucking, licking, gentle and without much force, but god it still feels so good, even with how weightless he now feels.
After a moment, Mondo finally pulls back, his lips leaving his manhood with a soft *plop* again, the sound more erotic that it has any right to be, honestly...
"H-heh... so... so fuckin' good, Kiyo, goddamn... y-ya... ya doin'- doin' o... okay?" Mondo pants, voice rougher and more wrecked than normal, making Taka whimper slightly as he looks down at Mondo, mind still blank as he sees the absolute wrecked look on Mondo's face, god...
He finds himself nodding absently, though, smile lazy and shaky on his lips, his voice not operational at the moment but knowing he has to do something to even partially express how incredible that had been... and seeing the bright, happy grin on Mondo's face, his eyes tired but utterly satisfied... mm...
"C-can I... c-can I touch you?" he finds himself muttering a moment later, still so far gone, but knowing that he wants to help Mondo, if he- he can, he really... really does...
But then Mondo is grimacing, shaking his head slightly, which cuts through the lazy pleasure, a cold rush of fear racing through him. A-ah, M-Mondo doesn't w-want him to...?
But then Mondo is rubbing his neck awkwardly again, looking down at his crotch with a bright blush.
"U-uh, shit, Kiyo... don't know how much I wanna say yes ta that... but, uh... havin' ya fuckin' cum so hard an' loud 'cuz a' what I was doin' kinda, uh... took care a' my problem, if ya catch my drift, heh... next time, baby, fuckin' promise. Won't cum in my shorts like a fuckin' kid, shit. If, uh... if ya wanna do this shit again, that is..."
Taka can't help the laugh, the nervous look on Mondo's face so utterly adorable to him again, his fear assuaged fully, his mind too shorted out to even make sense of the rush of heat that flows through him at the idea of Mondo cumming just from blowing him, and he just... god. He... he really does love this boy, doesn't he? God...
"Y-yes, Mondo... I... I would definitely want to do this again sometime! If... if you want to..."
It's Mondo's turn to laugh, the biker grinning again as he nods firmly, eyes sparkling, the nerves vanished like they'd never been there in the first place. And it's just so... god. Taka doesn't have the words. He never has. It's just so... Mondo, really.
"Ya fuckin' kiddin' me, babe? Shit, I think I'd fuckin' weep if we ain't ever do that 'gain. If I had any fuckin' doubt I was bi 'fore this, ain't got any now. That shit... fuck, Kiyo. Ain't ever seen shit so hot 'fore. Wanna see ya like that again, baby. An' fuckin' soon, if we can. So fuckin' good, baby... so fuckin' good..."
An almost overwhelming feeling of love and affection rises in Taka then, his eyes tearing up despite himself. And he's not sad, god no, he just... it's so much. Mondo, wanting him... so desperately, so vocally, cumming without being touched, just getting off on the thought of bringing Taka pleasure... a-ah. It's just so utterly incredible and something in his chest aches with it, and his traitorous eyes pick up on the emotion and reflect it within them. He can see the concern rise on Mondo's face, so he lets the smile that wants to escape him out, painfully wide and blinding, but Mondo doesn't seem to care. He just relaxes, beaming back, eyes liquid silver.
**"Y-you... y-you're incredible, kyoudai... y-you really... really are," he pants lightly, his breathing finally starting to calm itself the more time that passes, though his eyes are still uncomfortably full. The pressure behind them grows when he hears Mondo let out a soft laugh, the biker finally getting up shakily, but not going far. He just sits back on the couch, pulling Taka gently onto his lap, not caring one bit he's naked below the waist. In fact, the biker seems to enjoy this fact, as he squeezes Taka's behind, humming happily. Taka moans softly as Mondo starts kissing his neck again, soft and sweet and wonderful, adoring the sensation.
"Yer the incredible one, Kiyo, Christ... yer so fuckin' amazin', ain't got words ta describe it. Hoped ta show ya, but ain't even come close ta revealin' all I fuckin' feel, man... shit, Kiyo... yer just so fuckin' much, an' y'ain't got any idea how much I fuckin' adore that, adore you, fuckin' lo- s-shit... yer just everythin', Kiyo, an' I just... I don't ever wanna stop doin' this shit with ya... fuckin' never... K-Kiyo... I..."
Taka can feel his heart stop at the words, pulling back slightly to look at Mondo against his will, trembling at the meaning he can hear in his words, the soft adoration, the... t-the...
Taka can only wait with bated breath for Mondo to continue, needing desperately to know what he wants to finish his sentence with. But as the seconds pass, Mondo not seeming inclined to continue... he tries to hide the way his heart clenches, his breath stuttering again, but for a different reason. And when Mondo finally does speak, the topic has changed, Mondo moving on seamlessly, and Taka is forced to follow along, or else run the risk of being left behind. And Taka... he...
(He has to push down the emotions that want to rise within him again, refusing to let stupid emotions like pain and heartache ruin this wonderful moment for him, thank you very much...)
"Heh. We, uh... we should clean up an' shit. Once we're done, wanna... I dunno. Watch a movie or somethin'?"
Taka takes a moment— just one, he promises— to collect himself. He can still feel the rushing emotions from before they did that roiling within him, mixed with the residual desire, mixed with affection and love and... so many things, really. It's too much for him to comprehend, especially with how lethargic and loose he currently feels. For lack of anything else to do, he nods lazily, bending his head to hide it in Mondo's neck, just needing to rest. Mondo hums at the sensation, his hands coming up to rub his back, run through his hair, touch him in any way possible, and he just... he just lets it happen. He can overthink about this all later, honestly. For now... he'll just let this happen without further perusal.
"I... I would love that, my kyoudai... I- I really... really would..."
It's not entirely true. He honestly couldn't care less about the movie, to be perfectly honest. He more cares about being able to sit close to Mondo, head on his shoulder, the biker muttering his thought and opinions beautifully in his ear. That is what he truly would love...
He feels that more so when Mondo hums, warm lips pressing against the top of his head as Mondo tightens his arms wondrously.
"Heh, so fuckin' glad, Kiyo... so fuckin'. Can watch some romantic shit or somethin', heh. But, uh... s-shit... we should prolly stop callin' each other 'kyoudai' an' shit... right? I mean, uh... think it's fairly obvious we don't see each other in that way... yeah?"
Taka can feel his heart clench at Mondo's hesitant words, biting his lip as his shoulders stiffen minutely. A-ah... yes, he's had similar thoughts over the past couple of months, but... well...
"I-if you wish to, ky- er... Mondo," Taka replies softly, shrugging lightly. But he... well... "But... I... I kind of like calling you that... e-even though I know it is, er... highly inaccurate to how I feel for you... b-but, if you- if you'd like me to stop..."
Mondo is quiet for a few moments, before he's humming again, the biker shrugging as he kisses the top of Taka's head once more.
"I mean, shit, man... ya like it, I ain't gonna stop ya. I kinda like it, too, though it kinda fuckin' wigs me out. 'Cuz I most definitely don't see ya like a brother, holy shit... don't think I ever fuckin' did, just thought it made the most sense at the time, heh... 'm a fuckin' idiot, Christ... but, heh. Ain't like I ever called Daiya that shit. He was always 'ani' ta me, an' he mostly called me my name an' shit. Or other fuckin' embarrassin' nicknames I ain't ever tellin' no one, shit... heh. But not, uh... not kyoudai. S'why I never minded callin' ya that, ta tell the truth. Somethin' unique ta just us. You an' me. Fuckin' kyoudai. More than friends, 'cuz y'always... always meant so fuckin' much ta me, heh..."
Taka flushes at the words, burying his face in Mondo's neck entirely, breath shuddering as he tries to calm himself. He just... h-ha...
He nods slowly, lips gently moving to kiss Mondo's neck, feather light like usual. The shaky moan Mondo gives makes his blood boil, even though it's still too soon for his groin to start stirring, but it... a-ah. It makes him feel very nice... very nice indeed.
"O-okay... k-kyoudai... I will... will keep calling you that... i-if you do not mind..." he mutters, voice muffled as it presses against Mondo's neck. He feels Mondo shudder against him, arms tightening around him firmly.
"Nah, I don't mind Kiyo. Kyoudai. Don't fuckin' mind at all. Now... shit. Let's get ya cleaned up, yeah?"
Mondo begins to shift then, moving Taka carefully. He doesn't move away though, and before Taka can stand himself, Mondo is lifting him, causing him to let out a small sound of surprise. The biker smirks down at him as he carries him carefully into the bathroom, cradling him like he's something so very, very precious.
Once inside, Mondo places him gently down on the toilet seat, smiling at him softly. He then grabs a washcloth Taka had brought over from his room and puts it under the hot water from the tap. After that, Mondo gently helps clean him up, which isn't entirely necessary since most of the, er... mess was taken care of by Mondo already... a-ah. But Mondo still takes his time to help Taka freshen up, even though Taka could do it himself, which makes his heart melt yet again.
Taka then proceeds to watch with very interested eyes as Mondo shirks off his pants and boxers, the biker grimacing at the mess. It really shouldn't be, but there is something strangely erotic and highly intimate about watching as his not-quite boyfriend (?) cleans himself up, his face bright red but a small, smug smirk on his lips whenever his eyes dart up and he sees Taka watching him intently.
"Like what ya see, kyoudai?" Mondo mutters at one point, causing Taka's cheeks to bloom with red, but Taka refuses to back down. Not from such an obvious challenge!
"Yes, my kyoudai! Very much so!"
It makes Mondo blink with surprise at his vehement words, but then the biker is barking out a laugh, smile happy and eyes soft. It's so good that Taka can't help but smile back, not feeling awkward at all despite that fact that he is still naked below the waist.
Once they're both as clean as they can get without a shower (Mondo also brushing his teeth at Taka's insistence), they enter the bedroom again, Taka pulling back on his underwear and trousers while Mondo gets himself some new boxers, forgoing the pants. Taka then walks over to the couch while Mondo gets their snacks ready, the biker chattering about random things as he goes, Taka chiming in every so often.
They spend the rest of the afternoon watching cheesy romantic comedies while pressed tight together, which Mondo professes to hate, rolling his eyes at the overly emotional dialogue, but Taka can see the way his eyes mist over at the emotional climaxes of the films. Taka doesn't mention it, though. He just snuggles against Mondo and sniffles as the couple has an almost relationship ending fight, only to get back together ten minutes later, to Taka's relief. While the plots are very over the top and cheesy, Taka has to admit he actually really enjoys these 'romcoms,' as Mondo calls them. They're very cute!
When the dinner bell rings, they get up and head out (Mondo finally putting on trousers at Taka's insistence, to the biker's professed annoyance), walking side by side through the halls, Mondo's arm slung low on his hip. They spend dinner with their friends, Chihiro looking nervous at first, but growing more confident as the others include the boy, asking him questions about the program he's currently working on.
Once that is done with, Taka and Mondo head to the exercise room, where Taka gets in his cardio while Mondo does his weights, the pair chatting lightly in between pants. They do this for about an hour before finishing up, washing off quickly in the communal shower. Taka has to slap away Mondo's hands, saying they are in public and that they should not do such things here, though it's surprisingly hard for him to say it. Mondo gives him a slightly miffed look, saying that he had just wanted to help, but eventually rolls his eyes and agrees, keeping his hands (but not his eyes) to himself.
And then... then they head back to their room, where Taka helps Mondo with his homework for a little while, before Mondo grows bored and decides to start reading more of his new book (he'd finished The Hobbit and is now on The Lord of the Rings), while Taka reads a nonfiction book his morality teacher had given him for extra reading. The silence in the room is comfortable and relaxing, broken only when Mondo has something to say about what's going on in his book, or Taka wishes to share an interesting fact he's learned from his. It's very domestic and it makes Taka feel very full and light inside.
When it comes time to shower, they share again, Mondo grinning wolfishly at him as they undress. Despite that, nothing untoward goes on inside the shower, just the usual cleansing of their bodies. Neither of them technically needs to shower, considering they'd taken one earlier, but like heck would he miss out on his new, favorite routine!
After they finish, they get dressed and head to bed at last, the pair facing one another and cuddling close. It's incredibly warm and domestic and Taka can't help the rush of satisfaction that rises inside of him as he watches Mondo slowly fall asleep, adoring the sound of the soft snores, eyes tracing the relaxed features of Mondo's face. He feels so warm and happy inside, so much so he almost wants to burst with it, truly. And he never wants to stop feeling like this, wants to hold onto this happiness and joy forever, and ever, and ever, and never let it go. Never let it fade. Never... n-never...
And yet...
And yet...
And yet.
And yet.
When Taka closes his eyes, he cannot stop the way his mind wants to swirl with his thoughts and fears and concerns. His heart clenches with the anxiety that had ran rampant inside him earlier, his breath stuttering in his chest painfully as he finally sits still long enough for it to catch up again. He tries to push it away, to tell himself things are good now. That he and Mondo are- are together, and that Mondo trusts him, and they are good, and everything will fall into place soon, he knows it.
... right?
Well... not really, his mind whispers cruelly, making him want to shake. After all, he only said he wants to have sex with you. But you know that there is more to a relationship than that, don't you, Taka? Just because he wants to ravish you doesn't mean he wants anything else. Doesn't mean he wants you as a person. And why would he? What have you to offer him, exactly?
Taka hates the voice. The fears it brings up inside him. Because... because it is right. Mondo never did actually say he wanted anything more than just a physical relationship with him, did he? He said that he's more than just a 'casual fuck', but that doesn't mean he wants to be together. To be a couple. Just because he is bisexual does not mean he automatically wants to jump into a relationship with the first boy he feels physical attraction towards, right? And besides. All Mondo had said was that he wants Taka. Not that he- he loves Taka. And Taka... Taka knows there is a difference between 'desire' and 'love.' Just like there is a difference between 'care' and 'love,' a distinction he knows his father makes. That maybe... maybe even his mother made.
Because... because Taka is unlovable. He is so much. Too much. He is bright and harsh and jarring, and maybe Mondo finds him attractive— for some reason only the stars above know— and maybe he desires him, but why would he feel more than that for him? No one loves Taka. He doesn't deserve to be loved. He... he doesn't...
Taka shudders at the thoughts that are running through his head, his heart aching softly and acutely. He can feel his body trembling, the pressure behind his eyes rising, a choked sob trapped in his throat. He hates himself so acutely then, hating how he's ruined his own happiness again, like he always does, his thoughts and fears ruining the only nice thing he's ever had. What does it matter if Mondo doesn't want to be in a relationship with him? What does it matter if they're not together, not dating? What... what does it matter at all? Mondo wants him. Mondo desires him. Mondo even loves him, in some capacity, in some way, so why can't he just be happy? Why? Why?! Why-
Taka is forced from his thoughts when he feels Mondo shuffle, the biker grunting softly. Taka stiffens as he listens, heart pounding, praying that he's not woken the biker with his nonsense. After several tense moments, Mondo starts to snore again, pulling Taka closer, so that his head is resting on the biker's chest, his entire being engulfed in such overwhelming warmth.
It makes him want to cry, and he decides that enough is enough. He refuses to keep being so pathetic. It doesn't matter if Mondo doesn't want him the way he wants to be wanted; doesn't love him the way he wants to be loved. It doesn't! It truly, truly doesn't! Because Mondo is offering so, so much. So much more than Taka has ever been offered before, so much more than he's ever expected before. And it will be enough. It will be. It has to be. It just... it has to.
(Even if Mondo is still keeping secrets. Even if he hadn't told Taka the entire truth earlier. But Taka doesn't think about that, pushes that thought out of his head as soon as it tries to enter. Because believing that means that he doesn't trust Mondo. That he thinks Mondo was trying to deceive him. So what, something about Mondo's confession earlier doesn't quite add up? Like how Mondo had gone from utterly terrified to able to confess with relative ease. Or how he'd somehow been supposedly convinced that Taka would hate him for his bisexuality, despite a. knowing that Taka has no problem with bisexuality in general and b. greatly suspecting that Taka was attracted to Mondo in the first place. And that it makes no sense for him to be so afraid of Taka rejecting him when all evidence pointed to the contrary.
It doesn't matter, though. None of it does. Why would it? Taka trusts Mondo, and if Mondo says that was the secret that he wanted to share... then Taka will believe him! He will! Besides, maybe Mondo was just projecting again? Or maybe he was just feeling insecure? Taka doesn't know! Anxiety is irrational, after all! Taka knows that more than anyone!)
So, with that all settled, Taka forces his eyes closed, relaxing the unnatural stiffness from his shoulders, refusing to let his own nonsense ruin this all again.
He is happy. He is content. He has Mondo, at least a little, and that will be enough for him. It will.
He promises.
Ah! So! Lots happened, huh? A couple of you guessed what Mondo wanted to "confess," so kudos to you! It wasn't originally meant as a cliffhanger, but sometimes these things happen. Oops!
Anyway. Mondo came out as bi! Good for him. And for anyone curious, no, that was not what he originally was going to confess, ha. He just switched gears midway, realizing he couldn't confess his big secret just yet, which I'm sure all of you know. That gets dealt with in a later chapter, and boy, is it a doozy! There was some unintentional foreshadowing in this chapter for it too, for those of you keen enough to spot it. ;-)
But! We got a half confession! Mondo finally confessed to desiring Taka, and Taka confessed back! But! Y'all will come to find that desire and love are two different things. As someone who is asexual and possibly aromantic, I always split those two things up in my mind. And Mondo and Taka have confessed to one, but not the other. And the next two chapters go into what— exactly— this means. And as for the story, we still have one more confession between our beautiful boys to go before this story can officially close and my sequels can commence. What fun!
(Also, always use condoms, kids. Even if you completely, 100% trust the person you are with, it's safer to go with than to go without. Even if you're 'only' doing oral stuff. You should also always have conversations with your partner about safety before having any sexual encounters, and if your partner gets offended, don't do anything with them. Safety always comes first, okay? Stay safe, ya crazy kids.)