"Do you have a laptop I can use?" Meredith demands from her bed as soon as Derek opens the door to her room. A week after the incident with the storm, it hasn't changed their relationship at all, in fact, it had made it stronger. They both felt more comfortable with each other.
She has also managed to shower, though the process was completely exhausting and humiliating, even with the help of Cristina.
"What?" He cocks an eyebrow and approaches her bedside, checking her stats.
"I need a laptop. Your hospital sucks."
"You can't say that, this hospital is a palace compared to your tents in Afghanistan." He fires back.
"At least my tents were efficient and effective."
"Are you saying this hospital isn't?"
"Yes." She replies confidently.
Derek laughs lightly, letting her have the win of their daily banter. "Why do you need a laptop?"
"The TV gets like, three channels."
"And you need my laptop because...?"
"Because my unit got back to the states today and their award ceremony is being streamed, but this crap hospital doesn't get the channel." She says, her voice quieter now, causing Derek to stop and study her.
"Your unit?"
"I was flown back here weeks ago because I was blown up. My unit remained in Iraq under my next-in-command until they finished their deployment. The deployment which USMC ended early two days ago, so they're all back, and they're all getting awards."
"And you're not?" He frowns, for some reason feeling slightly angry.
"I can't leave this hospital. No award ceremony for me." She shrugs, clearly trying to play it off but Derek can sense her disappointment.
"I'll get you my laptop. After you let me check your incisions."
She rolls her eyes and lifts up the hospital gown covering her beaten abdomen. He continues his work in silence, noticing how she averts her eyes from the injured area.
"Surely if your whole unit is getting an award, you'll get one too." He prompts.
"In the explosion," she starts quietly, and Derek stops, ready to listen to what she's saying, "Everything was blown up. Not just me. I was injured, but the Hellfire middle was dropped into the medical tent. It wasn't an accident. But I was the only doctor severely injured because I was in the tent, while the rest of my team was outside receiving a humvee with more soldiers in it."
Derek sits at the edge of the bed, deciding he'll finish the post-op check later. He watches Meredith, taking in the glazed, far-off look to her eyes as she speaks.
"As soon as my people realized what happened they went into triage mode and saved three of the critical soldiers we had there and myself, which is a lot speaking in military terms. Twenty of our patients died, twenty-two Marines in the base on top of that. My team's all getting Combat Actions."
She snaps back to the present, making eye contact with Derek. Meredith searches him for any type of reaction.
"Wow," He breathes. She chuckles lightly, wincing in pain.
"You can't even imagine what it's like over there."
"You're right, I can't. It's just surreal. You sign up for that?"
"I've dedicated seven years of my life to that. It's everything I've ever worked for."
"Don't you have a Combat Action already?"
Meredith drops her gaze a bites her lip. "Well, yes, which is why I shouldn't feel so pissy about it."
"You have every right to feel pissy, your entire team is getting awards. They couldn't have done it without you."
"Can I just have your laptop?" She changes the subject and Derek nods, making a dash back up to his office and returning with his computer. Meredith sets it on the table and behind typing rapidly, pulling up a livestream which Derek sits in the chair next to her bed to watch as well.
Meredith turns the volume up, listening to their general's speech and watching as each of the eleven other people in her unit get their awards.
She finds Teddy Altman, one of her closest friends from deployment, and the woman who saved her life. It's hard to keep in contact with the states and Iraq, so Meredith hasn't seen her. She assumes Teddy knows she's alive though, and faintly hopes that her friend will come and visit.
The colonel smiles, pride filling her as she watches the people she trained and worked with for so long, the people who have been to hell and back and survived so much, get their awards.
Derek takes his eyes off the screen, instead content to sit and take in Meredith. She has a slight gleam in her eyes that he hasn't seen before, and the smile on her face is so genuine and proud it makes him smile too.
Meredith studies General Michael Kellin, standing in the middle of the stage giving a speech. On his side are her team, lined up in their dress blues and there are rows and rows of chairs full of family and friends and other members of the Navy there to celebrate as well.
Not for the first time, Meredith wishes to be there. She feels a pull to the men and women on the screen, wanting so badly to be there with them.
Just over forty-five minutes later, Meredith shuts the laptop and leans back into her bed, exhaling deeply and closing her eyes. Derek had lost interest in the ceremony itself a while ago.
"You should go, you probably have other patients to check on."
He pulls his laptop back onto his lap, but makes no effort to move. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
He rolls his eyes at those two words. She won't look at him, but her tone is dismissive. The last thing he wants at the moment is to get her mad, as he's seen firsthand how hot her temper can be. A military colonel is not someone he wants to get on the bad side of.
"I'll be back later. Get some rest." He agrees finally, standing up and leaving the room, just in time to get paged for a multicar pileup.
Left to her own devices, Meredith mopes. All her friends and family at the hospital are busy with a big trauma, so she really has no one. It's infuriating and depressing at the same time.
Being confined to a hospital bed after being blown up is the worst. Even with Derek, who is the highlight of her day, he's a busy surgeon and has only has so much free time.
It's lonely.
On top of everything, she wants to see her mother. Ellis Grey is dying, and Meredith can't leave the damn hospital to see her.
Wanting to escape from her overwhelming emotions for a while, she closes her eyes, trying to get comfortable and sleep through it,
It's not until the afternoon the next day Derek finally makes it back to Meredith's room. He knocks lightly and walks in, setting his bag on the table in front of her.
"What's that? Oh my god, it smells heavenly." Meredith's interest peaks instantly.
"When was the last time you had french fries?" Derek smirks, pulling the greasy, salty, fries out of the bag and handing them to her.
"I can't remember!" Happiness bursts through her chest as she gobbles them down at record speed. "This is so much better than the shit I've been served the past few weeks. How you manage to keep your patients alive on those nasty mashed potatoes and soups is beyond me."
He sits down in the bed next to her bed after throwing out the trash as he updates her on his patients and the outcome of the crash.
Medical talk is a simple distraction from what he really wants to talk to her about, but he can't figure out how to approach the subject.
A sharp knock on the door snaps both of their attention away from each other and Derek quickly stands from the bed.
Before Meredith can answer the knock, the door opens, revealing two young men in military battle dress uniforms. Meredith is instantly confused but begins to right herself as much as she can from her reclined position in bed.
Derek watches her shift and moves to help her sit up, listening as her breathing grows heavier through pain as she moves, but she doesn't say a thing.
Both of the young men salute her, standing on either side of the door. She returns the gesture, and another, older-looking man walks in with two more boys behind him.
Derek has no clue what's going on and simply steps back to the corner, watching Meredith, whose face drops into shock as she salutes again. The blonde tries to move to attention, but sharp pain through her entire body prevents her from doing so, and she falls back into the bed.
Derek is ready to jump in, watching the pained expression on her face hurts him. Though she waves him off and quickly recovers, pulling on her military mask of confidence and respect.
"General Kellin?" She stares at the man, who gives her a warm smile.
"As you were, Colonel. We can't have you hurting yourself anymore." The general replies.
Meredith relaxes, and he comes over to her bedside. She cocks an eyebrow at him.
"I'm not glass, come on," She opens her arms and he embraces her in a tender hug. He pulls back, and the sound of military-grade boots causes everyone to look towards the door again. When Meredith first joined the Navy, General Kellin was a lieutenant and it was his job to train her for months and prepare her for her first deployment, despite not being a surgeon.
Since those first months of boot camp, the two had kept as close contact as they could, their paths often crossing overseas. Kellin is like a brother to Meredith. He taught her everything she knows about the military and he is probably the only person who can see through her walls and military mask, as he was the one who gave her the mask in the first place.
Derek is a paragon of confusion, having no idea who any of these people are or what's happening. The warm, protecting way the General is looking at Meredith causes a pang of jealousy to flash through him.
A tall, leggy blonde woman appears in the doorway also clad in a military BDU. She wears a smirk and salutes to the general as well as Meredith.
"Teddy! Oh my God!" Meredith exclaims, recognizing her friend instantly. The two women quickly embrace and Teddy ruffles Meredith's hair. "This is Dr. Shepherd, the neurosurgeon who made sure I kept use of my legs. Derek, this is General Michael Kellin and Major Dr. Theodora Altman." Meredith introduces suddenly, having forgotten about her doctor in the corner who is beyond bewildered. Derek straightens and moves to shake hands with the General, who is very intimidating.
"Teddy and I have served together for five years now. Although I usually don't do anything other than boss around my subordinates, we're great friends." The blonde surgical patient speaks teasingly with a smile on her face, glancing between Derek and Teddy.
"If you weren't all beat up from a Hellfire already I would punch your lights out." Teddy shoots back, and Derek smiles.
Kellin clears his throat and both of the military surgeons shut their mouths, blushing at their interactions in front of a general.
"Thank you for saving Colonel Grey, Dr. Shepherd." He addresses the doctor and Derek nods earnestly. "She really means a lot to all of us Navy folk."
"It was my pleasure."
"Grey, as I'm sure you're wondering, there is a reason we're here today."
Meredith falls out of her joking mood and into a work one, her expression dead serious as she gives her full attention to her superior. Derek suddenly gets nervous, wondering if he should even be in this room. From what little Meredith has given him about her time overseas, every single aspect of her job is dangerous.
"Do you mind if we record this?" Kellin asks, and Meredith's throat goes dry.
"No, go ahead." She gives her permission and two of the younger men instantly set up a camera, giving a nod to the general when it's recording. He clears his throat, turning to face Meredith again.
"We are here today to recognize the important contributions Colonel Grey has made to the United States military."
Teddy's smile grows into a grin as Meredith's face drops into shock. Derek stays where he's standing, his gaze bouncing between everyone in the room.
"Unfortunate circumstances have confined her to this hospital bed, though those circumstances are also why we are here in the first place." He smiles at Meredith. "It is my great honor and pleasure to present Colonel Dr. Meredith Grey on behalf of the United States Navy and Marine Corps with a Distinguished Service Cross for her actions in Iraq." Kellin pulls out a velvet case, opening it up and revealing a golden cross with an eagle in the center.
Meredith's jaw drops. "Sir..." She breathes.
"Congratulations, Colonel. You earned it." Kellin says, handing her the box. Meredith's shocked face turns into a huge smile as she shakes hands with the general and is embraced by Teddy once again.
"Congrats, Mer." She whispers.
"I-I don't know what to say, this was the last thing I was expecting." Meredith struggled to put together a proper response, her usual confident and collected demeanor gone. She had been caught very off guard with this award. "Thank you, sir. Thank you very much."
Derek is quiet in his spot, content to observe the pure joy that he has never seen before on Meredith's face. He can't take his eyes off her perfect smile, the way her eyes shine. He hasn't imagined she could look so beautiful, he has only known her injured and confined to a hospital bed.
He doesn't quite understand what they are saying-even as a doctor with a broad expanse of vocabulary that would sound like gibberish to anyone else-the military terms are uncharted territory for him. They had stopped recording, and the Marines were simply catching up.
Their conversation is interrupted by General Kellin's phone ringing, he excuses himself and steps out as the four other boys begin packing up their camera and standing attention to wait for the general.
"Grey, I have to go," Kellin says apologetically when he gets back. "It seems there's a problem with-" He cuts himself off, remembering that Derek is in the room. His eyes land on the neurosurgeon, then bounce back to Meredith, who gets the message. What he has to say is for military ears only.
"It's okay, I understand. Thank you again, go kick some ass and try not to get yourself killed." Meredith bids him goodbye and he leaves with the four boys following him. She is sad to see him go, they barely had time to talk, but she understands the demands of his job.
"Where's the bathroom in this place?" Teddy asks as soon as Kellin is gone, suddenly dancing on her feet.
"Are you staying here, Major Altman?" Derek steps forward.
"Mer needs someone to keep her spirits up who knows her, doesn't she?" Teddy replies, "But first I really need to piss."
"First door on your right." Derek shows her out of the room, chuckling as the blonde runs off. He then turns back into Meredith's room, finding her gently running her fingers along the medal in her hand.
"And you were jealous of your team for getting Combat Actions." He scoffs playfully, coming to her side to get a better view of the medal himself.
"I was not!" She fires back, still smiling.
"I don't know shit about military awards, so you'll have to enlighten me as to what this is." He leans closer to her.
"A Distinguished Service Cross is the second-highest award you can get, after only a Medal of Honor. A Navy Cross is right below it."
"And you already have one of those."
"I do." She nods. "This is crazy. When I enlisted I never thought..." She trails off, her eyes glazing over as she's thrown back into her memories.
Derek doesn't say anything, instead admiring the important award in her hands, allowing her whatever time she needs to think in quiet.
"This is just...this is further than I ever imagined I'd come. I didn't enlist in hopes of winning awards, but this...I think this is one of the happiest moments of my life." She shifts her gaze to Derek, "And I'm glad you're here to experience it with me."