"So, this won't make me sick or loopy or anything, right?"
Derek chuckles. "Nope. It feels normal but...I don't know, fresher."
Meredith nods. "We should take the bandages off, right?"
He moves to her side. Meredith is sitting on a gurney in the hyperbaric chamber, for the first time in a very long time, she feels slight nerves rolling in her stomach. The door closes as Derek pulls on a pair of gloves to lift up her gown and remove the gauze bandages covering the nasty wounds marring her midsection. The chamber begins to pressurize, and she sucks in a breath, eyes glued to her own body.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing that. It-it doesn't even feel like my body." She starts softly, shifting painfully slowly to her side so the oxygen can reach her back and front sides.
"Do the scars bother you?" Derek takes a seat in one of the chairs on the side, tilting his head slightly at her as Mark's words echo through his head. Mark, one of the best plastic surgeons in the world could probably do something about that.
"I don't know, kind of. My other scars don't, but for some reason these do."
His curiosity spikes at other scars but he doesn't want to push her on them. The last time he asked about a scar she nearly ripped open her incision in a panic attack. "You've heard the name Mark Sloan?"
"That plastic surgeon from New York?"
"Yeah, he's the head of the department here now. He's like a brother to me, actually."
"Seriously? You never mentioned that."
He shrugs.
"Maybe...maybe he could come to look at them sometime. I mean, it's obviously too early to do anything about this one-" she gestures to the biggest jagged cut through her midsection that has barely begun to heal, "-but the ones from surgeries, maybe."
"He'll be really happy to hear that, believe me." Derek chuckles. As the chamber reaches its full capacity, they fall into a comfortable silence, Meredith soaking in the pure oxygen.
Earlier...
"So...you were married." Meredith nods slowly, taking in the information.
"I...I honestly don't know why I told you that..." Derek sucks in a breath, hoping that this fact doesn't change their relationship, whatever it is.
"Thank you for telling me."
"You're not mad or anything?"
"Everyone has a past. Yours just so happens to be an ex-wife."
"You don't want any details?" Derek is in awe. Anyone he'd told about his divorce before had pressed and pressed for information and taken sides.
"Not unless you want to share them. It's personal, I get it."
He blinks. Now, he wants to tell her more. For some strange reason.
"Addison and I were together for eleven years. Married in med school. The first few years were great. We were happy, we wanted a family and everything but we were both just starting out and our careers got in the way. Once they took off, we stopped having so much time together. I loved her, I did, but looking back now I realize our marriage was over long before we signed the papers." When he opens his mouth, the words come pouring out.
Meredith nods, saying nothing. It makes her feel all warm inside that he's willing to share this with her.
"I got home from work early one day and...I found Addison in our bed with one of my coworkers. One of my closest friends. That...that was when I brought up divorce. She fought me on it. I almost forgave her, but she admitted it wasn't just a one-time thing. It had been happening for months. She had an affair."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I left our life in New York and moved across the country to Seattle. Richard and I are old friends, so I got the department head job as soon as it opened. Mark really is like my brother, he was there through it all. We grew up together. He packed up his life and moved here to be with me."
"How romantic." Meredith smiles, her tone teasing.
"Oh, ew. No. Not like that. I already told you. Brother. He's like a brother. That's it."
"I understand. The fight or flight kicked in. I understand the need to get away from somewhere, how controlling that urge can be." She smiles sadly, her eyes glazing over as she's plunged into memories.
"Can I ask why you joined the military? Did it have something to do with that?" Derek asks after a moment, bringing her back to the present.
"I think that's a story for another time." She laughs, nervousness creeping in. Derek picks up on this instantly and changes the subject. The two fall back into a much easier conversation.
Meredith hadn't revealed much about herself. She's a private person, and there are not many people she knows who she can trust. Cristina and Alex, but that's about it. They're her family, been with her since the beginning. But that's it. Only now does she realize just how lonely it can be.
Derek glances at her, laying on her side in the bed. Her recovery is ten times more difficult because the gash on her torso goes through and through.
Even though Meredith demanded that they take her pain medication down, she's still on relatively high doses of narcotics to control it. With her previous surgeries, when she was weaned off, she went through withdrawal. Meredith shivers at the thought. Never wanting to experience that horrible few days again, she decided it would be better to deal with the pain.
In a few days when the wounds are better healed, hopefully, her pain will be at a more manageable level. If her final post-op labs and scans came back clear, that's when she could be discharged.
Eight hyperbaric treatments over the course of four days later, Miranda Bailey stands between the two much taller surgeons on Meredith's case in a viewing room. The door opens, and two other people enter, one in scrubs, one in camo pants, boots, and a plain t-shirt tucked in.
"The spine is clear. No clots and the nerves are intact. So is her brain." Derek says, staring at his MRIs. There are multiple darker shadows on the brain scan, but it's not a concern, they're just old concussions and head injuries.
"The abdominal scans came back clear, too. The poor woman is missing half her internal organs. Yet somehow, she lives." Bailey adds.
Teddy, shutting the door behind her laughs. "That's the colonel for you."
"From a cardio standpoint, she's completely good to go. No heart or lung damage and blood is flowing to every part of her body cleanly." Cristina walks past Teddy towards the center of the room.
"All her bones are intact still. Shepherd and I handled the spine well. The metal screws we installed will hold." Callie, standing on the other side of Bailey nods as well.
"Have anything to add, Major Altman? Colonel Grey specifically requested your opinion, since you have experience with these kinds of injuries." Derek turns to face the veteran who is still standing behind the other surgeons.
Narrowing her eyes and studying the scans for a moment, Teddy gathers her thoughts before she replies. "You may think the spine is good, but with this kind of thing, patients experience major setbacks all the time because of impact damage. Trust me, being blown up is..." she shakes her head, unable to describe it. "You still need to keep an extremely close eye on that."
The other surgeons nod.
"Besides that, if her incisions are closing up cleanly, I don't see anything else to be worried about."
"Great. Let's sign off on these discharge papers, then." Derek smiles largely, which doesn't go unnoticed by the other occupants of the room.
Teddy leaves, with the intention of going to Meredith's room to talk to her friend before she leaves the hospital. "Guess who's getting discharged?" She announces gleefully upon entering her colonel's hospital room.
Meredith nods. She had known this was coming for two days now. "I'm happy about this, I really am."
"You don't look like it." Teddy objects, sitting on the edge of Meredith's bed, studying her friend.
"Teddy, I've been overseas for seven years. The longest I've been back in the states between that is four months, and I was traveling across the country, everything paid for by the Navy."
"You were stuck at Cleveland Clinic for your shoulder reconstruction for two months a few years ago. And your leg surgery before that was three months at UCLA. Not to mention the weeks at New York-Presbyterian and at Mass Gen for dust pneumonia and that bullet to the side before that."
"Why do you know all about every damn time I've been injured?"
"Most of the time, I was there." Teddy fires back.
"Point taken. I know I've been back for injures a lot, but I've always known I could go back when I recovered. The Marines became my life, Teddy. Now there's no way I'll ever be fit enough to deploy again."
"You feel stuck."
"I am stuck. I have nothing here. Nothing anywhere. Deserts across the globe have been my home for a long, long time."
"Mer, you can probably get a job at any hospital and demand any salary you want."
"I don't know where to go. I have to be in one place for the better part of a year while I recover from this."
"I understand."
"There's a nice hotel not far from here. Alex's apartment is across the street and Cristina's isn't far either."
"You shouldn't be alone." A deeper, male voice sounds and both women turn to see Derek Shepherd leaning against the doorframe. "Sorry, I just overheard. You're five weeks postop major surgery and back from war for the first time in years. You should have someone around."
"Hotels have room service." Meredith shrugs.
"Is it at least a nice hotel? Colonel Dr. Meredith Grey shouldn't be staying in a dump." Derek smirks.
"It's not a dump. Four and a half stars. It's small and close to the hospital. I'll be fine, I can take care of myself."
"I don't doubt that, but it doesn't mean I won't be concerned."
Meredith blushes slightly, and Derek simply shrugs. He told the truth.
"Just a thought." He then turns and leaves the room. Teddy bursts out laughing as soon as he's gone.
"You haven't slept with him yet?" She manages to get out.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm kind of an invalid."
"Yet somehow, he's got it for you."
"The flirting between us is relentless," Meredith admits.
"You've got it for him too?" Teddy gasps.
"No, of course not. I'm not a relationship kind of girl."
"Well, it's not like you've had much of a chance to be in a relationship the past seven years. You're getting old."
"What the hell, Teddy! You're a year older than me!"
Teddy smirks, and Meredith gasps. "You have a beau?"
"Maybe. Maybe not." She shrugs, though the blush on her face says it all.
"Who? Tell me who!"
"You can't say anything." Meredith makes a motion to cross her heart and Teddy lowers her voice. "Owen Hunt."
"Major Hunt?" Meredith raises her eyebrows. Teddy nods. "Finally."
"What?" Teddy is taken aback.
"The sexual tension when you two are in a room together is astronomical. Every single time you're near each other. When did you first sleep with him?"
"Meredith!" Teddy hisses, and her friend cocks an eyebrow. "First year in the Marines when he was deployed with us. Since he's come back to the states we kind of..."
"Sleep together every time you come back?" Meredith laughs, her joyful expression quickly turning to pain as she rests a hand on her abdomen. The damn gashes across her stomach and back aren't getting any less painful.
Teddy blushes furiously, and Meredith has her answer.
"You and Dr. Shepherd would be cute together." Teddy changes the subject, wedging herself in the small space between Meredith's body and the edge of her bed. The two fall into a comfortable silence, just thinking. "Do you want to stay in Seattle?"
"I have to for physical therapy and post-op."
"No, I mean after. What are you going to do?"
"I have no idea. I'm still going to operate, obviously. I'd need a job at a top-level hospital."
"Like I said, you could go anywhere. My question was Seattle."
Meredith shrugs.
"What if I told you I was staying in Seattle."
"What?" Now, it's Meredith's turn to be taken aback.
"There's a cardio opening here and the Chief of Surgery offered it to me. You know Seattle Grace is one of the best hospitals in the country."
"You're taking it?"
"I'm not sure yet, or I would've offered up my place for you to stay."
"Your nonexistent place." Meredith snorts.
"Hey, like you said, some hotels are pretty nice. Free cleaning every time I leave."
Meredith shakes her head. "You think they'd have an opening for me here?"
"Trauma or General?"
"I don't know. Part of me had seen enough trauma for a lifetime, but the other part lives for the adrenaline that comes with it."
"Hunt and Kepner are both in trauma. If there's no department head, you'd already have a team whipped under your command."
Meredith chuckles. She can only imagine how the two veterans who would be under her command once again in her department would react. "Very true."
The next day, Meredith sits at the edge of her bed, dressed in leggings and a sweater. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun and Teddy stands beside her, the box of belongings in her hand.
"Okay, everything has been signed off on," Derek announces brightly, handing over the discharge papers in his hands. "I trust you know the signs of infection and your post-op limits?" He looks at Meredith.
"No lifting, no running, no strenuous activities, keep the area clean, the list goes on. Basically, I get to do nothing. I got it." She replies, standing up.
"Ah, no-" Derek pulls a wheelchair over and motions for her to sit, "-have a seat."
"What? No. I can walk out of here on my own two feet."
"Hospital policy." He shrugs, challenging her with a raised eyebrow.
Meredith rolls her eyes and sits, and Teddy places the cardboard box in her lap.
"Oh shit, Mer, I have to be in a meeting with the chief and head of cardio in like, three minutes. I don't know how long it will take, but it means I can't drive you."
"You're meeting with Yang? Good luck." Derek snorts quietly.
"It's okay, what's another hour here going to do?" Meredith shrugs.
"Wait, you're just staying at the hotel a street over, right?" Derek cuts in.
"Yeah, why?"
"My shift is practically over. Why don't I take you?"
Teddy laughs, but quickly covers it up with a fake cough. Meredith glares sharply at her friend, which doesn't go unnoticed by Derek.
If he's honest, he doesn't know why he offered to take her. Helping someone move in is kind of a couple-y thing to do, and they're not dating. But, he plays it off, hoping, for some reason, that she'll say yes.
"I-I don't have much, I can probably..." Meredith starts, but trails off, meeting Derek's gaze. She can't drive, anyway. She shakes her head, wondering why she's going to say what she wants to say. "Okay. Thank you."
Derek smiles. "Great! Let me change and we'll go." He gives her a look before leaving the room, and Teddy instantly starts snickering.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"Sorry, but did you see the way he looked at you? C'mon Death, a blind person could see the chemistry."
"You're such an idiot, there's no chemistry, it's not like we've kissed or anything."
Teddy scoffs. "You don't have to kiss for there to be sexual tension." She raises her eyebrows suggestively at her last two words. Meredith blushes, causing Teddy to laugh again.
"Just-just shut it, okay? I'm leaving the hospital, we're not even in a real relationship, this is probably going to be the end of..whatever this is."
Besides, she's his patient. There are like, a hundred rules saying they can't be together.
"But he offered to drive you home." Teddy singsongs.
"He's just being nice. Drop it."
Teddy scoffs and rolls her eyes but after working under Meredith for so long, she hears the warning in the colonel's tone and shuts her mouth.
"Okay, ready?" Derek appears in the room, sporting a sweater and jeans.
"I'm so ready. I never want to have to see this place again. No offense."
"None taken, five weeks of living in this place would be hell."
"No, hell was the deserts overseas. This is a close second, though."
"You got me there." Derek nods.
The two leave Teddy behind as they make their way through the halls to the elevator. Stepping into the carriage, the doors shut, leaving them alone together in a confined space. The tension in the air is palpable.
"Uh," she clears her throat, changing the subject from what's on both of their minds, "do you mind if we stop somewhere before we go to the hotel?"
"Like where?"
"Bright Hills Nursing Home?" For a moment, Derek is silent, unable to comprehend why she wants to go to a nursing home. "I'd like to see my mother." Meredith finishes quietly.
"Oh, of course." He agrees.
"It's just...it's been so long, you know? A-and Cristina tells me she's..."
"I've worked with Alzheimer's patients before. It's not going to be easy to see her, you know. She won't be-"
"I know. She won't be my mother. She never really was a mother to me in the first place, I-I don't know why..." Meredith rambles quietly. Even if she and Ellis never had a good relationship, it doesn't change the fact that she's her mom.
"You have a right to go and see her. We'll go."
"Thank you."