Part 3: Nesta Finds Her Happiness
Nesta would never forget when Emerie told her that Cassian was getting married, would never forget those miserable months she spent in the Spring Court hiding from his joy. He had moved on so quickly, and found a female with a child he could claim as his own on top of it.
It infuriated her and drove her mad. Despite everything, some part of Nesta had truly believed that one day she and Cassian would get back together, but when she received word that Cassian's new wife was pregnant, those dreams were finally and truly dashed.
The years passed, and Nesta learned to breathe again. Without Cassian, she relied on her sisters more than ever, both those she had been born with and those she had met along the way. She threw herself into her role as leader of the Valkyries, and being an aunt to the ever increasing amount of children she found herself surrounded by.
Rhys and Feyre eventually added two daughters and another son to their brood, the pregnancies going smoothly and without peril. Gwyn and Azriel eventually had two children, a son and a daughter, and Mor and Emerie adopted two little girls, one an orphan from Illyria and the other an abandoned bastard from the Court of Nightmares.
Nesta loved them all. As time went by, she realized she never wanted to be a mother, and that being an aunt quite suited her. She guided and taught each of her nieces and nephews, helping them to maturity.
And Nesta forgave Cassian, forgave him for wanting something other than her, and eventually they were able to establish a tentative friendship. The first time Nesta met his wife, Eleanor, Nesta had expected to feel some sort of jealousy, but instead felt only relief. The female was perfect for Cassian, and Nesta could see how much she loved him. In the end, Nesta realized, all she wanted was for Cassian to be happy, and he had that now. Eleanor it seemed was very fertile, and a hundred years later they had five children together, with no signs of stopping.
Nesta loved those children too.
And most importantly, Nesta learned to forgive herself. She forgave herself for the monster she had been, for the harm she had caused, and learned to do so by making things right with those she had hurt. Feyre was the first place she started, and now Nesta couldn't imagine a life without her younger sister.
Still filled with fire and a sharp tongue, Nesta was hardly a shrinking flower, but instead a proud warrior and a loving member of a family she wouldn't trade for the world. She knew who she was, and loved herself flaws and all.
Apart from the Valkyries, Nesta's big project in life was nurturing relations between the human and fae worlds, using her fighting females as emissaries of goodwill between the two groups. It was hard and often upsetting work, but she couldn't imagine doing anything else. A fae with a human heart, this was what she was meant to do.
She was happy, truly happy, for the first time in her life, and fought like hell for that happiness. It was then, and only then, did love find her again at last.
Nesta was visiting Elain in the Spring Court, but Elain had to step away to take care of some official matters leaving Nesta to her own devices. Wandering through the lush grounds of the manor, a different manor than the one Tamlin had locked Feyre in so long ago, Nesta made her way to the shore of a nearby lake. Elain's Spring Court was an entirely different world than it had once been. High and low fae mingled together, ancient hierarchies meaning nothing anymore. Even though they were on the High Lady's land, children splashed and played in the lake, their parents watching carefully as they lounged in the sun.
Nesta smiled at the children, missing when her nieces and nephews were that small. Almost all were adults now, with only Feyre's youngest son still a teenager.
There was a gasp to Nesta's right, followed by a splash of water. Nesta turned to see what had happened, and saw a fully dressed female had tripped and fallen into the water. Nesta rushed forward, trying not to smile at the bewildered look on the female's face.
"Are you alright?" Nesta asked, and the female blinked up at her. She was not high fae, that much was obvious. Her eyes were a little too big, her hair a strange shade of bluish gray against her brown skin. Nesta glanced at the female's feet and saw that there was webbing between her bare toes. Some sort of water nymph then, though perhaps only partially like Gwyn.
"I'm fine," the female assured her, dragging herself to her feet. "Embarrassed, but fine." The female appraised Nesta, then stuck out her hand boldly. "I'm Nimwe."
Nesta stared at her for a second before taking her hand and shaking it.
"Nesta."
"Right, the High Lady's sister."
"Yes."
Once, Nesta would have been annoyed to be referred to as such. Being the High Lady of the Spring Court's or High Queen of the Fae's sister was only a small part of who she was, but now such comments did not offend her.
"You can always tell when one of the High Lady's sisters is visiting, the entire estate buzzes with life."
Nesta glanced around at the flurry of activity and wondered if that was true.
"Yes well, Elain loves to entertain," she said mildly, unable to stop her gaze from running over Nimwe's form. She was tall, but curvy, her soaked dress clinging to her like a second skin. And her strangely colored hair hung in tight curls down to her shoulders. Nimwe was dazzlingly beautiful, Nesta realized with a start, and the corner of Nimwe's full lips curled as she caught Nesta staring.
"Like something you see, my lady?"
"I-" Nesta spluttered, and Nimwe laughed.
"It's alright, but after a look like that, I am going to have to insist you take me out to dinner, otherwise I'm going to feel cheap."
"Uh, okay," Nesta managed, still swept up in the richness of Nimwe's laugh.
"Great!" Nimwe clapped her hands together. "I'll meet you outside your sister's home tonight at eight. See you then!"
Nimwe walked out of the water and pressed a kiss to Nesta's cheek before sauntering away, leaving Nesta staring after her, wondering what the hell had just happened.
Nesta couldn't remember the last time she was so nervous. Waiting just inside the front doors of her sister's mansion, she smoothed her hands over her dress for the tenth time.
"You look lovely, Nesta, stop fidgeting," came Elain's gentle voice. Nesta glanced at her sister, who radiated easy beauty, as Elain fluttered up next to her and tucked a stray hair behind her ear.
"I'm not fidgeting," Nesta muttered, and Elain bit back a smile.
"Of course not, my mistake."
Nesta took another deep breath, glancing at a nearby clock. Nearly eight. Would Nimwe be on time, or would she be late? And why was she waiting by the door like an anxious teenager? There was a commotion of movement as several servants came flying towards the sisters, giddy expressions on their faces.
"She's here!" one of them practically squealed before skidding to a halt. The servants opened the door, and Elain gave Nesta a small push in the small of her back. Nesta stepped forward, shooting and irritated glare over her shoulder, and walked outside.
Nimwe stood there, looking stunning in a deep purple dress that hugged her ample curves. The neckline was low-cut, showing off Nimwe's breasts where a silver pendant hung between them. Nesta suddenly felt very hot, and for once her mind went completely blank.
"Hello there," Nimwe said, her gaze devouring Nesta in a similar fashion.
"Hi," Nesta croaked, then cleared her throat, irritated with herself. What was wrong with her? She was falling to pieces and for what? A beautiful female who looked at her like no one had looked at her since Cassian?
Nimwe glanced behind Nesta's shoulder, then swept into a deep curtsey.
"High Lady," she said respectfully. Nesta turned to see Elain standing there, eyeing Nimwe closely.
"Hello," she said. "I hope you will return my sister in one piece."
"I make no promises, High Lady," Nimwe said with a wink, and Nesta flushed. Nimwe grinned and reached out. Nesta thought she was extending her arm, and was shocked when Nimwe grabbed her hand instead. "Come on, there's a restaurant tucked away in a rose garden nearby and I made us a reservation!"
Nesta gave Elain one more bewildered look as Nimwe dragged her away, and Elain waved goodbye in response, looking very pleased. Nesta snuck a peak at Nimwe, who was practically glowing in the golden light of the sunset.
"So," Nesta said awkwardly, "have you always lived in the Spring Court?"
"Oh yes," Nimwe gave her a dazzling smile. "I grew up in a village only a few miles from here. It's incredible to see how much the area has changed since your sister moved in."
"Good changes, I hope."
"All good changes." Nimwe gave her hand a little squeeze, and Nesta's heart fluttered in response. "One of them being the visitors from the Night Court."
Oh this female was a flirt, a huge flirt. Just like Cassian…
Nesta turned away, hiding her expression of displeasure. Why was she thinking of him? He had moved on, she had moved on. She needed to stop comparing Nimwe to him. They continued to walk, chatting idly. Nimwe dominated the conversation, telling Nesta more about herself.
She was a quarter water nymph, and had been raised by her no-nonsense mother who had been high-fae. Nimwe recently celebrated her 300th birthday and fished for a living.
"I used to sell at markets around the Spring Court, but ever since new businesses have started coming here, I sell directly to restaurants like this one!" They emerged into a stunning rose garden, filled with roses of all different colors. The sunset now faded, it was dark, and fae lights danced through the air.
In the center of the garden was a stone building with a large patio stretching out the side. Delicious smells perfumed the air, and the patio was filled with fae who were laughing, talking, and eating.
"Wow," Nesta breathed. "This is beautiful!"
"As nice as those fancy places in the Night Court?" Nimwe asked teasingly, and Nesta mutely nodded. They were led to their table by a very eager tree nymph, and Nesta couldn't help but notice most of the guests at this restaurant as well as the workers seemed to be "low fae". She also noticed all the eyes that followed them as they sat down, and she straightened up without thinking about it, allowing her facial expression to become distant.
"Ignore them," Nimwe whispered. "They're just curious about you."
"It's fine," Nesta said. She was used to it, people watching her every move, judging everything she said and did. It was second nature at this point to put that mask of indifference on and become the cold and powerful female everyone expected her to be.
The waitress brought two glasses of water. "Can I get you started with some wine?" she asked, and before Nimwe could respond, Nesta quickly spoke up.
"No, I'm fine."
Nimwe raised an eyebrow, and Nesta felt embarrassed again.
"Everything okay?" Nimwe asked.
"Of course," she bit out, then winced at her tone. Nimwe frowned, then leaned in.
"Are you sure? Because you seemed uncomfortable but happy on the way over here, but now you seem just uncomfortable...and you look like you are about to murder someone."
"I-" Nesta swallowed, feeling a pit opening in her chest. "I'm sorry."
Nimwe tilted her head. "Is it because you aren't used to being around so many low fae?"
"No!" Nesta said quickly. "No of course not, it's…" She looked around desperately, trying to think of a way out of this. "I'm embarrassed."
"Why?" Nimwe asked.
"I guess, after so many years being in my position, I would be used to people staring at me, but I'm not. I feel like everyone looks at me and makes all these assumptions about me."
"Oh," Nimwe's eyes were glittering again. "So feel like if you put on a steely demeanor, you are protecting yourself?"
"Yea, exactly," Nesta murmured.
"It's okay, my grandmother is the same way."
"Really?" Nesta leaned forward without realizing it.
"Yea. Being low fae married to a high fae has always been very hard for her. Everyone always assumes terrible things about her, and over the years she learned to defend herself by acting like she didn't care in public." She paused, staring into Nesta's eyes. "You know no one here thinks anything but wonderful things about you. You're a hero to these people"
Nesta pursed her lips, her heart constricting. "I don't drink," she blurted out. Nimwe blinked at her before a tilted smile graced her lovely face.
"Oh?"
"I used to, when I first became fae….a lot. Too much. So now I don't drink at all."
"Well, in that case, they have the most delicious juice made from fresh strawberries and peaches. We can order that?"
Nimwe had nothing but kindness and understanding on her face, and Nesta let out a tense breath, managing to smile in return.
"That sounds delicious."
They ordered the juice along with dinner, Nesta opting for a fish dish, which made Nimwe give her a pleased look. As they talked, Nesta looked around the crowd, and although she saw the eyes lingering on her, she noticed they held no malice, only friendly curiosity. After a little while, she managed to relax, and found herself laughing loudly at Nimwe's antics. The female was terribly charming, funny, and was openly affectionate.
As Nesta grew more comfortable, she opened up, and told Nimwe more about herself. She discussed the Valkyrie's with pride, a little bit about her work with the human world, but ended up spending quite a bit of time rambling about her nieces and nephews.
"Wow, they sound amazing," Nimwe gushed. "I've always wanted to be an aunt, but it's hard to manage that when you're an only child."
"Well, I am only aunt to some of them by blood," Nesta told her, sipping her juice. "Emerie and Gwyn's children I am aunt by bond."
Nimwe considered her for a moment, her eyes alight with interest.
"Would you think less of me, Nesta Acheron, if I told you I didn't have many friends? And certainly none who I was close enough to be aunt to their children."
Nesta paused from taking a sip of her juice, then carefully put the glass down. "I would never judge you for that," Nesta told her sincerely. "But to be honest, I'm not sure why you would struggle in that area. You seem so open and lovely."
A pleased smile broke out over Nimwe's face, but it was twinged with sadness. "I have been accused of being a lot," she admitted. "Being too loud, too honest, too much for people to handle."
"Ah," Nesta pursed her lips, trying to think of a way to make Nimwe feel better. "Better than being a frigid bitch who pushed everyone away before they even had a chance to get to know her."
Nimwe blinked. "Are you talking about yourself?"
"Yes," Nesta glanced around, worried about eavesdroppers. "When I was young I was...difficult. That's the polite way of saying it anyway."
"What changed?" Nimwe asked.
"Everything," Nesta glanced up to the sky, to the twinkling lights shining there. "I became fae, my life changed, and at first everything got worse, so I became worse. But there were a few people in my life who wouldn't give up on me, and I met Gwyn and Emerie, and they helped me pull myself out of the nightmare I had sunk into."
Silence met this statement, and anxiety erupted in Nesta's gut.
"Your mate was one of those people, wasn't he?" Nimwe asked quietly. An old nagging sensation tugged at Nesta, but it was so weak and decrepit at this point she barely noticed it.
"Cassian was a huge part of it," Nesta said, her voice low. "I would have died if it wasn't for him, and Feyre, but he stayed by my side through the worst of my healing. He was, is, a good male. The very best of them. In the end we just didn't work together. We wanted different things." Nesta examined Nimwe. "Does it bother you that I have a mate that is still part of my life?"
"I," Nimwe sucked in a breath. "No, I mean, a little," she looked abashed. "A mating bond is a hard thing to overcome, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked you to join me tonight. And I trust you if you say that it is really over between you two."
"It is," Nesta assured her. "I hardly notice the bond anymore, even when we are in the same room. And he says he doesn't feel it at all. I guess that's his wife's influence. They are disgustingly happy together."
"And you think if you were disgustingly happy with someone, it would go away for you too?"
"Probably. I hope so."
Nimwe smiled, and some of the tension eased from Nesta's chest. The conversation shifted, and the two females chatted long into the night, until their waitress told them the restaurant was closing. They walked back to the manor, still hand in hand, Nesta watching Nimwe in the moonlight. She could understand why some people thought Nimwe was too much to handle. She didn't keep any of her thoughts back, and was loud, expressive, but to Nesta it was utterly fascinating.
After so many years, she still had trouble opening up to people, trusting them not to hate her. But with Nimwe, it felt so damned easy, and Nesta felt herself trying to come up with whatever she could to make Nimwe smile. When they reached the manor, they stopped in front of the doors, and Nesta suddenly felt very shy.
"Well," she cleared her throat. "Thank you for inviting me tonight, Nimwe."
Nimwe laughed. "So formal," she teased. "Let's get right down to it. I like you, a lot, and I want to see you again. Do you want to see me again too?"
"Oh," Nesta couldn't help but feel very pleased about that. "Yes, I would love that."
"Good," Nimwe grinned, then pulled Nesta towards her. Their chests pressed together, and before Nesta could react Nimwe's hand was cupping Nesta's face, her thumb brushing over Nesta's cheek. "Can I kiss you now?" Nimwe asked.
Nesta nodded, her voice suddenly not working, and Nimwe leaned forward, pressing her full lips against Nesta's gently. Warmth spread through Nesta's body, an exciting and pulsing warmth she hadn't felt in decades. She held Nimwe's waist, leaning into the kiss more, and Nimwe smiled against her lips.
They broke apart after a moment, and Nesta blinked. She couldn't remember the last time she had ever been kissed so sweetly. Nimwe caressed her cheek again.
"Goodnight, Nesta," she said huskily.
"Goodnight."
Nimwe pulled away, still smiling, then walked into the night. Nesta watched her until she vanished, then shakily went inside. As soon as the door closed behind her, she leaned back against the wood and sunk to the ground.
A laugh bubbled up out of her, and she put her face in her hands, grinning madly. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and a single tear escaped her eye. Disgustingly happy? She could give it a shot, and for the first time in over a hundred years, she had found someone she wanted to try with.