Chapter 12

Courting Nimwe was unlike any relationship Nesta had ever been in before. Nimwe was spontaneous and filled with life. If Nesta was in the Spring Court, Nimwe would show up unannounced and whisk Nesta away for some adventure. She loved spending a day hard at work just as much as she enjoyed a day spent lazing around inside cuddling in silence. Although she wasn't much of a reader, she didn't mind if Nesta wanted to do so, happy to just be in the same room with her.

When Nesta was home in the Night Court, she would receive a letter almost every couple days, each one long and rambling, about every little thing Nimwe was up to. They often made Nesta laugh, and she always wrote back a letter for every one she received. They usually were accompanied by presents from the Night Court, as Nesta discovered she loved spoiling her new lover.

And a lover Nimwe was. Over the years, Nesta had begun to explore her attraction to females, so Nimwe was hardly her first in that department, but she was by far the best. Everything felt brand new, and their nights together always ended with them breathless, holding each other close and falling asleep still intertwined.

It was perfect, except for one thing. No one in Nesta's family, apart from Elain, knew Nimwe existed. It was not that Nesta was embarrassed, not at all, she was just worried that if she told her family about Nimwe the relationship would be ruined.

These people, who she loved dearly, could also be overbearing and judgemental. What if they didn't like Nimwe, or she didn't like them? And there was still the issue of Cassian. Nimwe said she didn't care about him, but what if she met him and he scared her off just by being there? And the worst possible thing, what if they told Nimwe the full truth about Nesta's past, and Nimwe hated her for it?

While getting to know each other, Nesta offered small bits about her difficult start to life, and the kind of person she had been, but never the full story. Nimwe was kind, and generous, and everything Nesta hadn't been for a long time. Would she understand?

It couldn't be postponed, however. Her best friend being mated to a spy-master usually wasn't a problem, but when Gwyn cornered her one day demanding to know why Nesta was hiding her lover, Azriel standing abashedly behind her, Nesta knew she couldn't put it off any longer.

Feyre volunteered to winnow them to the Night Court, and she was practically bouncing up and down with excitement as they waited in Elain's home.

"Would you knock that off?" Nesta snapped when she couldn't take it anymore. Feyre grinned at her, not chastised at all.

"I can sense her outside, she'll be at the front door in any second!" Feyre and Elain both hurtled out of their chairs, running for the front door. Nesta ran after them, exasperated. Feyre threw the door open and caught Nimwe, her hand raised, about to knock. Nimwe blinked in surprise, then immediately bowed deeply.

"Your Majesty!" she gasped, "I wasn't expecting to meet you so soon!"

Feyre glanced at Nesta. "I wanted to be the one to deliver you both the Night Court, and please rise. I'm so excited to meet you!" As soon as Nimwe straightened, Feyre enveloped her in a hug. Nesta pursed her lips. Feyre was really over-doing it, but she supposed she was grateful for her sister's enthusiasm. As the women broke apart, however, Nesta's amusement vanished.

Nimwe was dressed head to toe in black...Night Court black. Her Nimwe was bursting with color inside and out, Nesta didn't even know Nimwe owned anything black. Nimwe turned to her, holding out her arms. Nesta stepped into them without hesitation, and they shared a kiss.

"I'm so excited!" Nimwe whispered, eagerness written all over her face. Nesta forced a smile, giving Nimwe a little squeeze.

Feyre held out her hand, Elain already grasping the other, and as soon as Nimwe took it they were whisked to the Night Court. They landed at the base of the stairs to the House of Wind, and Nimwe looked around, her eyes sparkling.

"Wow, it's an...alleyway?" she asked, and Feyre laughed.

"No one can winnow directly into the House of the Wind. We will be flying up."

On cue, Rhysand and Azriel appeared, bothing looking very handsome and smiling widely. Nimwe gasped and bowed to Rhysand. Irritated now, Nesta pulled her up. Nimwe shot her a look then turned her attention to the males who had just arrived.

"I am honored to meet you both!"

"The honor is ours," Rhys said warmly. "I hope you won't be uncomfortable with flying, it's the only option unless you want to walk ten thousand steps up."

Nimwe bit her lip, clutching Nesta's hand tightly.

"I've never done it before. Promise you won't drop me?"

"Never. I wouldn't want Nesta to set me on fire," Rhys flashed Nesta a wicked smile, and Nesta glared back. He was being lively tonight too. Her relationship with her brother-in-law had never really recovered after she had cheated on Cassian, but Nesta guessed that Feyre had made him promise to be on his best behavior.

"Azriel can fly her up," Nesta declared, stepping towards Feyre as she was unwilling to let Rhys carry her either. This left Elain for Rhys. Nimwe looked Azriel over.

"I can see why Nesta says you are the pretty one," she teased, and Azriel cleared his throat, shooting Nesta a look. Nesta grinned at him before Feyre picked her up. It was a tiny bit awkward, considering Nesta was taller than her sister, but Feyre was much stronger. Once everyone was situated, they took to the skies. Nesta could hear Nimwe laughing with glee, behind them.

"She's brave," Feyre observed. "And don't worry, we kept it small. No kids just like you wanted."

"And Cassian?" Nesta asked nervously.

"He's busy in Illyria, so it wasn't a problem."

They landed on the balcony of Nesta's home, and she immediately went to check on Nimwe, who Azriel was carefully putting down.

"That was so much fun!" Nimwe squealed, planting a large kiss on Nesta's lips in excitement. Nesta couldn't help but smile.

"Come, look at the view."

Nimwe fawned over how beautiful Valeris was for a few minutes before they went inside. When they entered the dining room, the rest of the "adults" were waiting for them. Gwyn and Emerie immediately rushed forward while Mor and Amren lingered behind, watching with amusement.

After introductions were made, they sat down, and their meal instantly appeared on their plates. Nimwe let out a delighted gasp.

"Oh! This smells delicious," she gushed. "You must have the best chefs working here."

"Actually," Rhys said, "it's all the House. It is very fond of Nesta, and only provides her with the best of everything."

Nesta grimaced at the words, and Nimwe turned to her, confused.

"The House has its own consciousness," she explained. "It responds to requests as needed."

"Oh," Nimwe frowned, then her smile immediately returned. "Uh, hello House. Would you mind if I had a bottle of white wine?" The bottle immediately appeared in front of her, and Nimwe's smile widened. "Thank you House!"

Everyone chuckled, but a tightness had started to form in Nesta's chest. Dinner started, with everyone peppering Nimwe with questions while trying to act like they weren't being nosy. Nimwe didn't mind the attention, telling them all about her fishery, her family, and the adventures she and Nesta had been on together.

Nimwe was no shrinking violet, but Nesta was a little surprised by how well she was doing with the attention of the most powerful fae in the world on her. The House and its generosity also seemed to be a source of endless delight, and between that and the black dress...Nimwe was making herself right at home.

Almost as if she had planned all of this, a sinister voice whispered in the back of Nesta's head. She frowned, taking a sip of her water. Was this her goal the entire time? To get access to the wealth and acclaim of Nesta's family? Trying to shove that thought away, Nesta forced her attention back to the conversation, though she couldn't ignore her uneasy feeling.

It would make sense, wouldn't it? Afterall, why would a bright, loving, good person like Nimwe really want someone like Nesta? In the end, Cassian hadn't wanted her, how long until the charms of Nesta's life weren't enough for Nimwe either?

Nesta felt a brush against her mind, and her eyes snapped to Feyre, who was giving her a look.

You okay? You are looking a little sour over there, Feyre asked when Nesta lowered her shields.

I'm fine, she said before snapping the shields shut. Feyre didn't look convinced, and took the initiative to change the subject, instead offering bits of information about everyone at the table so Nimwe could get to know them better.

Nesta knew Feyre was trying to help, but this only made her anxiety worse. Nimwe latched on to every piece of information she got, asking questions and turning her dazzling smile on each person, trying to win them over with her warmth. Jealousy and anger roiled in Nesta's stomach. Did she think her family outing her would be the worst thing that could happen? She was a fool. This was far worse.

As if fate was laughing at her, Nesta noticed Rhy's eyes flash with alarm a second beforea tingling feeling went up her spine. Nesta groaned as a large booming voice called out through the dining room.

"A family dinner without me? What did I do wrong now?"

Every inch of Nesta's being went on alert as Cassian's voice washed over them. Her eyes wide, she turned to Feyre, panicking. Cassian emerged into the dining room, and his laughing smile immediately faded when he saw Nesta and Nimwe.

"Oh, shit," he said, every emotion blatant on his face. "Guess I wasn't invited for a reason. My mistake."

"You were supposed to be in Illyria," Rhys sighed.

"Came home early," he shrugged. "El said you all were up here, so I thought I would crash. My mistake. I'll be leaving now."

"No, wait!" Nimwe jumped to her feet, and she strode over to him. Cassian eyed her wearily, like she was a wild animal who might attack him at any second.

"This isn't necessary," Nesta cut in, but Nimwe ignored her.

"Hello," Nimwe said confidently. "My name is Nimwe. I'm Nesta's partner."

It was Cassian's turn to blink in surprise, and a slow smile spread over his lips.

"Hello Nimwe," he greeted. "This your first time meeting everyone, then?"

"Yes," she responded, openly eyeing him. "You should know, even though I respect you, I have no intention of letting Nesta go, and you won't be able to intimidate me into leaving her."

Cassian tipped back his head and laughed, and Nesta wished she could winnow herself out of this situation.

"Trust me, I have no intention of trying to scare you off. Nesta is all yours."

Oh, Nesta did not like his tone with that. Dismissive, like Nimwe was foolish for even assuming he might ever want Nesta back.

"Good," Nimwe said with a tone of finality. "Then we won't have a problem."

Cassian chuckled. "I like you," he told her. "I'm surprised no one has mentioned you before. You keeping secrets from me Rhys?"

"Not at all," Rhys said, his voice clipped in a way that indicated Cassian should stop talking. Nimwe frowned, looking at Nesta.

"He didn't know about me?" she asked.

"Of course not. It's not like Cassian and I spend an overwhelming amount of time together."

Nimwe pursed her lips, glancing around the room. It was clear she wanted to question Nesta further, but decided to wait. Giving Cassian another look, Nimwe trotted back to her seat and sat down, putting a blatant and possessive hand on Nesta's knee. Cassian observed this with a slight smirk on his face.

"Well, this has been uncomfortable for everyone. I'll just head out."

Nesta didn't breathe until she saw Cassian take off from the balcony, then slumped back in her chair.

"I'm sorry about that," Feyre jumped in, ever the peacekeeper. "Cassian is his own creature, but he means no harm."

Nimwe smiled easily, launching into a story like nothing had happened. The tension didn't leave Nesta's body, however, and she hardly said a thing as conversation started again. It seemed everyone noticed, and likely assumed it was Cassian's sudden appearance that upset her, but they were wrong.

The fact that Nimwe had just stood up and declared Nesta hers in front of her family should have pleased her, but it didn't. It only fueled her paranoia. Nimwe's grip on her leg burned, and even though everyone was friendly and there were no more awkward moments, Nesta found herself watching Nimwe with a suspicious eye.

"Where are all the kids tonight? I was hoping to meet at least one of Nesta's nieces or nephews. Maybe prince Nyx?" Nimwe said, looking around hopefully as if he might appear.

"Why?" Nesta asked, her tone cold and savage.

Stop it! She shouted at herself, but it was too late. Nimwe froze at her tone, turning to look at her with wide eyes.

"You talk about them all the time, Nesta. Of course I want to meet them."

"Nesta," Rhys cut in, his voice commanding, "perhaps you would like to show Nimwe the rest of the house? Maybe the library? It's your favorite spot."

He was giving her a way out, a chance to reset her attitude before she said something she regretted. Nesta took a deep breath, then forced a smile on her face.

"Of course. I would love to show it to you."

Nimwe looked upset, but accepted Nesta's hand and allowed her to lead her out of the room. They walked in silence until they entered the library, and Nimwe whirled on Nesta.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded. "You've been acting weird all night, and why did you talk to me like that?"

"I'm not the one acting strange," Nesta shot back.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You! You are fawning over my family and this house. You don't fawn over anything. And you're wearing black, I didn't know you even owned anything black!"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Nimwe asked, aghast. "Are you implying something?"

"Maybe," Nesta glared. "Maybe I have been blind to what you really wanted this entire time."

Nimwe's mouth dropped open, and she stared at Nesta in horror. Slowly, moisture started to gather in her enormous, beautiful eyes, and guilt crashed through Nesta like a wave.

"How," Nimwe swallowed, "how could you think that? After all the time we spent together, everything we have shared, you really believe I was using you to get to them? Just because I was friendly and I wore black?"

"I-" Nesta stumbled, realizing how stupid it sounded now that it was said outloud.

"I borrowed this dress from your sister!" Nimwe seethed, wiping at her eyes angrily. "And I am fawning over your family because I want them to like me! I know how important they are to you, and I didn't want to give you a reason to push me away, but it sounds like you found one anyway."

"Nimwe," Nesta had no idea what to say. She thought she had gotten rid of this part of herself, the part that always saw the worst in people and hurt them to protect herself, but apparently she was wrong. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking."

Nimwe crossed her arms over her chest angrily. "Where did this come from? You have never treated me like this before. I deserve to know why."

This was exactly what Nesta had been terrified of, but it wasn't her family that had outed her, she had done it to herself. She had to tell Nimwe the truth, there was no other option now. Slowly, dreading every word, she explained everything. Every horrible, cruel part of her past she had kept hidden, every terrible thing she had done, the real reason she and Cassian had split up was revealed. Nimwe listened silently, hugging herself, and by the time it was over, Nesta was sure her beautiful lover was about to leave her.

"Oh, you silly thing," Nimwe said, striding forward and pulling Nesta in for a crushing hug. Nesta held her back, surprised.

"You don't hate me?" she asked, stunned.

"Of course I don't," Nimwe murmured, pressing a kiss to her neck. "All that was a long time ago, and it isn't who you are anymore." She pulled back, searching Nesta's face. "Your past doesn't define your present, and I love the female I know."

"I love you too." Tears filled Nesta's eyes, and she kissed Nimwe desperately, relief flooding through her body. When they broke apart, Nimwe rested her brow against Nesta's for a few moments before pulling back.

"But," she said, almost regretfully, "if you are struggling with these old feelings, this old behavior coming back, you need to be honest with me about it, because I am not going to tolerate being treated like that." Nesta let out a breath, trying to control herself. "I am not the type of person who is going to sit back and let my partner humiliate me or make me feel bad about myself, no matter how much I love them. I want to work through you with this, but I need to know that we are in it together."

"I promise," Nesta assured her. "I don't want to hurt you, ever. I don't know what happened tonight. I hadn't felt like this in decades."

"Something about tonight must have been triggering for you," Nimwe mused. "Whatever it was, we will figure it out, and make sure the next time a situation like this happens, we are prepared for any bad feelings that may arise, okay?"

Nesta nodded, sinking into Nimwe's embrace. She was a fool, Nesta knew that. How could she have ever doubted this remarkable female? But perhaps, perhaps it was a good thing this had happened. She didn't want any secrets from Nimwe, and now Nimwe was going to not just help her through her struggles, but hold her accountable when she screwed up with love and compassion. It was a huge piece of what she had been missing from her relationship with Cassian, and now more than ever Nesta knew in her heart that Nimwe was her future.