Finally, it is the day of the ball. Derek leaves work early, and Meredith has been home all day organizing her clothes.
"Hey," Derek calls through the house, announcing himself as he arrives.
"Hey. Bedroom." Meredith calls back, telling him where she is. He makes his way to her bedroom and when she sees him she smiles and moves to give him a light kiss. "How was work? Any interesting surgeries?"
Always a surgery junkie, Meredith asks the same question every single day.
"Nothing, really slow day."
"Don't jinx it!" Meredith exclaims, "I swear if they page you away from this-"
"I told them not to page me, there are other neurosurgeons on staff. We'll be fine."
Meredith nods, then turns back to what she was doing. Derek follows her into the room, his breath hitching when he sees the deep navy, buffed jacket hanging from a hook on the wall. He watches as Meredith's fingers move deftly around the left breast pocket, and he catches a glimpse of rows of ribbons, below it her Purple Hearts, Navy Cross, and Distinguished Service Cross.
"What's all that?" He quips, interested in finding out more about her awards.
"You already know the medals, but the ribbons are just Combat Actions, Commendation and Achievement awards, Good Conduct, that kind of thing. These-" she pauses, picking up a large velvet box from her nightstand, "-are a Surgeon General Medallion and a Public Health Distinguished Service Medal."
She offers him the box, and he gently takes them from their places and runs his fingertips over the heavy, colorful medals, completely in awe. "Wow."
"They're for the abdominal wall transplant and my other advancements in trauma surgeries."
"You're amazing." He looks at her, and she blushes. Derek hands the awards back and gives her a quick peck before she turns again and fastens them to her jacket.
"You have your tux?" Meredith asks without looking at him.
"It's all ready."
"Go put it on, we have to leave soon." She urges, and Derek, always one to please, leaves the room to obey.
When he's gone, Meredith takes a step back to admire her work. Pride wells up inside of her at the sight of everything she's worked for her entire life pinned onto a jacket in front of her.
As she shifts her weight between her feet a twinge of pain in her abdomen reminds her that she's not totally healed yet. She moves to the bed, easing herself onto the soft mattress and relaxing into the pillows.
Not long later, Derek appears in the doorway once again, frowning when he sees the mess of blonde waves facing away from him in the bed. Soft snores tell him that she's sleeping, and he smiles.
Derek closes the door, making a note to wake her up in twenty minutes or so. As her surgeon, he knows how exhausting recovery can be, so he lets her sleep. She'll need it.
He spends those twenty minutes preparing himself- mostly his hair- for the ball. When he deems himself fit, he drapes his suit jacket on a chair in the kitchen next to his shoes and enters back into Meredith's room, thinking of just a few days ago when she explained to him what to expect.
"So, you know what will happen?"
"I have absolutely no idea," Derek answers her question honestly, glancing at her from his spot sitting at the table with a case file in front of him.
She smiles warmly and stiffly sits on the table next to him. "Okay. So, the first thing when we walk in is a line of greetings. We can put our stuff at a table first, but we have to go down the line of all the hosts and highest-ranking service members and shake their hands. You exchange a few pleasantries with each of them until the end, where I'll have to stay in the line but you can go back to the table."
Derek nods. Sounds simple enough so far.
"There will be a ceremony, a couple of people will give speeches and tell stories and update on the happenings in the Middle East. It's the most boring part, but it's really meaningful.
"After that, there's a commemoration to honor the fallen. There will be an empty table, which you cannot touch. It's to honor and remember those who gave their lives. The table will have pictures on it, a lot of them, and I'll end up going there and leaving my letters. You don't really have to do anything there."
"Your letters?"
Meredith presses her lips into a thin smile, but her eyes are sad. "I lost a lot of good friends, Derek. Most of us end up writing letters to the fallen soldiers we were closest to, and we place them next to their picture at this table. A last words sort of thing. It should hopefully provide me some closure."
Derek nods, understanding the importance of this. He places a hand on hers, sensing she needs comfort and grounding.
"After, we eat. Eat and mingle and dance and drink. Once the first half is over, it becomes like a party. There will be lots to drink, and I have no doubt there will be a few drunk people. There always are."
"I won't get drunk, I promise." Derek laughs.
"Good, me either."
"Is that it?" Derek quips. He had expected something much bigger and more complicated.
"That's it. It will take a while, but I'll introduce you to who I can. It should be fun."
"Is Teddy coming?"
"Yes, she's bringing Owen Hunt as her date."
"Oh. Wow."
Meredith laughs at his reaction, eases herself off the table, flinching in pain, then gives him a peck on the lips before standing and walking into her bedroom.
"Hey, Meredith," He calls, placing a kiss on her sleeping face. It doesn't take long for her eyes to open. He frowns when he sees the pure, unadulterated fear in her eyes. He had been expecting a warm smile.
In the blink of an eye, she jerks herself away from him, reaching out to find her sidearm. Meredith doesn't know where she is. Where the hell is her gun? It should be right next to her?
"Get away from me." She hisses, then doubles over in pain after she scrambles to get up.
Derek is hurt instantly, and completely confused. His first instinct is to rush to her side upon seeing the pain, but as he takes in her defensive stance, he decides that's not the best idea right now. Instead, he raises his hands above his head in surrender, stepping back. "Meredith. It's me, Derek. You know who I am."
"No, I-" Meredith starts, still searching for a weapon. There's no holster on her leg where there should be. No rifle at her bedside.
She cuts herself off when everything comes flooding back to her in an instant. She's breathing hard, heart pounding. Fear leaves her system, and the pain becomes very, very real.
She wraps an arm around her stomach, trying to give herself some support as she tries to relax her body.
Derek is still standing, watching her, afraid from the other side of the bed.
"Oh my god, Derek," she breathes, voice breaking.
He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding and relaxes his intense posture as well.
Meredith stumbles into apology after apology, sinking onto the bed to take some pressure off her injuries. Derek slowly approaches her, squatting in front of her so he can look into her eyes, which are avoiding him.
Meredith is burning with embarrassment and shame. Horrified at what she'd just done.
"Are you okay?" He asks softly.
Biting back tears, she nods, hesitantly meeting his gaze. She's shocked to see it holds nothing but warm sympathy. Not pity, not anger, none of the emotions she'd been expecting.
For the first time, Derek stares at her and notices the utter exhaustion in her eyes. His stomach sinks. "Meredith, tell me the truth, please."
She's quiet for a long minute, then glances across the room at the clock. "Shit, we're gonna be late."
He stops her from moving with a pointed look.
"Later," Meredith promises, her voice raw.
Derek nods slightly, offering a hand to help her up. She takes it and he places his other hand along her spine to provide a bit of support as she stands.
Meredith will never get over the embarrassment of not being able to get up herself, so she avoids his gaze as she crosses the room to her uniform.
Derek leaves the room as soon as she's up, closing the door behind him to provide a bit of privacy as she changes. He walks into the kitchen to finish getting himself ready.
Meredith, with some difficulty, pulls on the white dress pants with a red stripe down the side, as well as the jacket. She slips her feet into the dress shoes, only to find she can't bend over long enough to tie them.
Spinal surgery, major abdominal surgery, and being made into a human kebab really screwed up her midsection.
It's too painful to do it herself, so she shuffles nervously out of her room and her gloves and hat tucked under her arm. Derek is in the kitchen using a mirror to try and tie his bow tie. She pushes thoughts of the incident only a few minutes ago away.
"Derek," Meredith bites her lip. He turns, eyes widening when he takes her in the uniform.
"You look..." He trails off, the uniform gives her a mix of badass professionalism and somehow accentuates her natural beauty. He's always loved a woman in uniform, and Meredith takes it to a whole new level.
"I can't tie my shoes." She mumbles incoherently, dropping her gaze down to her feet. When Derek makes no acknowledgment that he heard her, she looks up again. "Derek."
"Sorry, what?" His eyes snap back to her face guiltily and she smirks, having caught him checking her out right in front of her.
"You have to tie my shoes." She rolls her eyes, and Derek chuckles.
"Of course." He crouches at her feet, quickly tying each polished dress shoe. "Should I kiss them while I'm down here too? Submit to your power?"
"Get back up before I kick you." Her threat is empty as she tries and fails to keep a smile off her face at his teasing.
He stands, admiring her appearance.
"Do you have some gel I can borrow?" She asks, running a hand through her hair.
"I have a lot of gel. It's in my bathroom. Why do you need it?"
"I got up almost every morning for seven years and gelled my hair into a low, braided bun. It's military standards."
Derek nods, and she sets her hat and gloves on the table as she moves to the bathroom. It takes five minutes before she comes back out and looks at him. Hair perfectly parted and slicked back with a perfect braided bun resting by her neck. "Ready to go?"
"Where are we headed?" They climb into the car at about as fast of a pace as she can go.
"Magnuson Park, it's where Puget Sound is. The naval station."
Derek speeds to the address she provides and skids into the closest parking space. To their left is the Naval shipyard, expanding as far up and down the coast as they can see. In front of them stands the large, gray and blue building with huge glass windows. Across the front in big, bold letters, it identifies itself as the Puget Sound Naval Station.
"Whoa," Derek breathes as they walk up, arm in arm.
Meredith is slightly shaky on her feet, but pulls on a brave face and steadies herself. This is not the first ball she's been to, but it's the first with a real date. When they walk in, they go through a security checkpoint, and then she leads them to the ballroom.
It's not actually a ballroom, it's known as The Great Room, where important ceremonies and meetings are held. But tonight, it's bustling with people.
There's a large stage a few feet off the ground across the room, in front of the stage is a dance floor, to the side is a stretch of buffet-style food tables, and scattered across the center of the rooms are tables and chairs. Lights are dimmed slightly, but there's music playing softly and just as Meredith had said, there's a receiving line right by the door.
She instantly goes and begins to shake hands with people, making introductions with Derek as well. He is surprised at how comfortable she appears, how easily she talks to the other men and women in uniform. He's never seen her like this before.
"General Miller, it's great to see you again," Meredith shakes hands, warmly speaking to an older man.
"And it's good to see you still alive and kickin', Colonel." He replies, a hint of a southern drawl in his voice.
"This is my boyfriend, Dr. Derek Shepherd. Derek, this is General Austin Miller, he's the highest-ranking official overseas, in charge of every US troop in Afghanistan." Meredith says, and the men shake hands. "How'd you get away, sir?"
"I'm here for two days," Miller laughs, "then it's back to business."
Meredith smiles and nods then moves on. Further down the line, she pulls Michael Kellin- who works directly with General Miller- in for a quick hug. Kellin had been sent back overseas only a few days after Ellis's death, and only just now got back to the states for this event.
Derek is almost afraid to shake the protective man's hand, but does so, and is surprised at the quick small talk Kellin makes with him.
At the end of the line, Meredith turns to face Derek, smiling. "You can go find our table, there should be place cards. I need to stay here. Make some friends. Mingle."
Derek glances up the line. There are only uniformed service members in it. Around the room, mostly women in dresses are at the tables, and he realizes the spouses don't stay.
"Okay." He gives her a quick peck on the cheek, then leaves.
Twenty minutes later, Derek has made friends with two women who are wives of Marines here, as well as a man who is a boyfriend as well. They're all sitting at the same table. The line breaks apart and the dress uniforms flood towards the tables, each person looking for their date.
Meredith finds him quickly, and everyone sits down as each of the three Generals and highest-ranking Marines step on stage. All of them give long speeches, which surprisingly do hold Derek's attention.
They brief of the happenings overseas, and Derek is shocked to hear about some of the circumstances.
Meredith hasn't told him really anything about her deployment. Sure, she's shared some memories, but nothing extremely important. He looks at her now, studying the dark circles under her eyes which are concealed with makeup, as well as the exhaustion lining her features. Her posture is rigid. His chest tightens.
She's been struggling for weeks on her own now, and he hasn't even noticed.
He'll talk to her about it as soon as they get home.
The speeches and ceremonies continue. When Miller gets up to speak about the fallen, Derek quickly notices most of the Marines getting emotional. The names are read off, and he is shocked at how long it is.
When he notices a single tear escape from Meredith's eyes- despite her best efforts to hold them back- he wipes it away with his thumb and interlaces her hand with his own, trying to provide some comfort.
The ceremony takes over an hour. Afterward, everyone goes to get food. The buffet has an extremely wide range of options, and Derek gets back to the table before Meredith, as she's run into someone else she knows.
Derek sighs in relief when he sees the open bar. Quickly ordering tequila and a single malt scotch, he takes the drinks and gets back to the table, handing one to Meredith.
"You haven't taken any of the Percocet in the past forty-eight hours right?" He double-checks. Alcohol and prescription pain meds do not mix, unless you want to go into cardiac arrest.
She shakes her head, bringing the drink to her lips, savoring the burning sensation. "My God, it's been so long since I've tasted hard liquor. I love tequila."
"I know," he winks and kisses her, then they eat their food, conversing with the other men and women at the table.
Teddy is nearby, they've exchanged a few words throughout the evening, but she's seated with other majors at a different table than Meredith and Derek.
After dinner, music picks back up and people take to the dance floor. Derek turns to ask his girlfriend to dance, but she's drawing multiple envelopes out of her bag.
"What's that?"
"Letters. The Missing Man table is over there. I'll be back." She says shortly, turning and walking across the room to a big plain, white table with pictures all over it. Derek reads her tone, recognizing the emotional toll this is taking on her. While he does give her room, he watches her stand there for a long time.
Finally, she makes her way back to him, eyes a bit bloodshot. He extends a hand to her when she's a few feet away, and she smiles, reaching out to take it, only to be stopped and pulled back by a different man, also in a dress uniform.
Derek frowns, stepping forward to claim a dance with his girlfriend, until he stops dead in his tracks.
The strange man just pulled Meredith into him and planted a deep kiss on her lips.