Meredith takes one last look at the framed pictures of her friends, biting back the tears at the sight of George O'Malley. She tries to imprint this photo of him into her head, so she'll remember him like this instead of the horrifying flesh remains she keeps seeing in her dreams.
She turns away and heads back to the table, meeting Derek's bright gaze from across the room. He offers a smile and begins to meet her halfway. He extends a hand, silently asking for a dance. Meredith smiles, grief fading and being replaced with the strange warmth that always fills her when she's around her boyfriend.
Just as she's about to reach a hand out to take his, a tight grasp on her arm jerks her body backward. Before she can breathe, there are lips on hers and a tongue trying to gain access to her mouth.
Panicking, Meredith pushes her assailant away roughly, stumbling back. On instinct, she reaches to the side of her leg where her gun holster should be. But there's no gun.
Her vision blurs slightly and she braces herself on a chair, trying to regain some composure.
"Death, are you okay?"
She would recognize that Australian-hinted accent anywhere.
"Give me a minute, Nathan." Meredith holds up a hand to stop him from coming any closer to her, avoiding his gaze. It takes a minute, but her heart rate slows enough for her to stand shakily. "What the hell?"
Major Nathan Riggs blinks, stepping back. "What?"
"God, you should know not to come up behind someone and pull them like that. Were you trying to throw me into a PTSD flashback where I might end up punching you out?" Anger seeps through her tone and she takes an aggressive stance.
Nathan drops his gaze, realizing his mistake.
"And then you kiss me? I have a boyfriend! He's right there! What is wrong with you?" Meredith's voice raises, and she's practically shouting at him now.
"I was expecting you to be happy to see me. You and I both know how we left things." Nathan defends himself, though in shock from her reaction to his presence.
Derek, watching the scene from a few feet away finally snaps out of his daze and moves to quickly place himself between Meredith and the other Marine, who he's figured out is Nathan Riggs.
"Get out of the way Derek, I can handle this myself. Let me just-" Meredith tries to push past him, voice vicious.
He stops her with an arm around her waist. People have begun to stare, and Nathan is silent, almost afraid.
"How about we go outside for some air?" He suggests, moving his lips to her ear so only she can hear the suggestion.
Meredith doesn't turn her sharp gaze away from Nathan, even as Derek gently pulls her out of the room. When the doors swing shut behind them, he heads towards outside, but she pulls away.
The anger is gone. Completely. Now, she just feels guilt.
"What did I just do?"
Derek offers her a tiny half-smile. "Lost your shit at Nathan Riggs."
The uniform hat is long gone, but she pulls off her gloves and clutches them tightly in her hand. "Goddamnit."
"To be fair, if you hadn't, I probably would have."
His attempt to make her laugh fails, and he realizes this is more serious than he thought.
"Derek," she whispers, leaning against the cool tile wall and sinking down to the floor, knees at her chest. The movement causes pain to shoot through Meredith's whole body, but she doesn't care. "I lost control of myself. My emotions. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing- I couldn't stop myself."
Derek frowns, moving to sit down next to her.
"I blew up. That's not me. I'm known for keeping my temper under control and emotions in check. Always. That...I don't know what that was."
"He scared you. He pulled you back without warning."
"Nearly triggered a panic attack," she mumbles, hiding her face in her hands. "This is so embarrassing. How do I go back in there?"
"We can sit out here for as long as you need."
Meredith tilts her head back, squeezing her eyes shut. In a very small, shaking voice, she whispers, "It's a symptom of PTSD."
Derek puts a hand on her arm, looking at her. "What is?" Even though he's a neurosurgeon, he doesn't know much about PTSD.
"Mood changes like that. Being unable to keep control of emotions."
He sighs, not knowing exactly what to say. They're both quiet for a few minutes, then he voices his concern. "Have you been sleeping?"
Meredith doesn't know how to answer that. She avoids his gaze, trying to decide how to respond.
She's saved by the sound of the door to the ballroom opening and closing, followed by footsteps. Both surgeons glance up from their position on the floor.
Derek tenses, expecting Nathan Riggs, but instead, it's Teddy. Teddy, who, without question sinks down onto the floor on the opposite side of Meredith.
After a moment of silence, she laughs. "You should have seen the look on his face when you walked out. Cocky, arrogant, asshole thought he could just waltz back into your life after like two years."
"Did you just make a pun?" Meredith moves her eyes to meet her friend's gaze. Teddy gives a guilty shrug in response, and all three of them laugh.
Meredith's injuries are throbbing because of the uncomfortable position, and with one pleading look at Derek, he gets up and helps her to her feet as well. Teddy follows.
"You're okay?" The cardio surgeon asks sincerely.
Meredith only shrugs, beginning to walk back to the doors. "Let's just get the rest of this night over with."
Teddy reaches out to stop her. The blonde takes a moment to brush off Meredith's dress uniform and tuck a few stray hairs back into place. After a minute, she steps back to admire her work, then gives Meredith a nod in approval.
With a grateful look at Teddy, Meredith reaches back and grabs Derek's hand tightly, all three of them heading back into the room.
"You never answered my question." He whispers again, to her ear.
"Tonight. When we get home. I promise I'll talk." Meredith answers. She knows that will satisfy him for now, but she's running out of ways to stall the hard conversation she knows is coming.
Teddy splits away from them, back to Owen when they get back into the room. Everything seems to have returned to normal.
"I need to talk to Nathan," Meredith says to Derek.
He pulls back, ready to object, but she cuts him off.
"Not like that. I need to set him straight. It's been almost two years since we've seen each other. We dated. It was pretty serious, Derek. Everything ended abruptly but...that's the last time we talked."
Derek debates for a moment, then nods, sending her off to find Nathan. He takes a moment to go back to their table and get another drink. He struggles to soak up all the information about her past she'd just given him, so he leans against the chair.
More and more questions arise about her past, and suddenly, Derek finds himself doubting her.
Another thing to add to the list of what they need to talk about.
Meanwhile, Meredith finds her ex at the open bar, nursing a beer. His eyes light up when he sees her, but he also steps back to give her some room.
Meredith waves him closer to her, letting him know she's back in control of her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, she begins the speech she's been rehearsing in her head. "I know we left things off badly. I shouldn't have been sleeping with you after we broke up. We never really got the chance for any closure. But I'm telling you this now. It's been two years. I nearly died, and I'm completely in love with my boyfriend, who is here. You're a great person Nathan, and I want to stay friends. But that's it. Friends, nothing more."
Nathan is stunned into silence. Finally, he nods, offering a half-smile. "I understand. He's lucky to have you. I shouldn't have let you go, huh?"
Meredith returns the smile and shrugs. At one time, his smooth, accented voice would make her knees go weak and ignite a fire between her legs. But now, it doesn't affect her at all.
"Can I at least have one dance tonight? As friends?" Nathan asks, hopefully.
"I'll have to talk to Derek," She replies evenly. No promises on that one.
He nods, and Meredith turns off, back to the one person she really wants to dance with. She finds him at the table, and he stands to greet her. Without warning, he pulls her in and brings their lips together in a gentle kiss, but one that sparks a fire of desire within Meredith.
"Let's dance," he says, reading her mind and already leading them to the dance floor. "I need to show that Nathan over there you're mine."
Meredith laughs, then realizes it's still hard for her to move nimbly because of her injuries. "Take it easy on me, okay? I don't have the best motor control right now, and it's been a long night. I also can't remember the last time I slow danced."
Derek smiles knowingly, then adds his own teasing remark. "What? You can't do the Cotton-Eye Joe after major surgery? I can't believe you."
She smiles, and they join together as the music for the next slow dance picks up. He guides her, supporting her back with his arm. She leans into his touch, warmth growing inside of her.
Nothing needs to be said, for a while, they stare into each other's eyes, moving as one, and eventually, Meredith leans her head on his shoulder, soaking in the scent of his cologne.
Three dances later, they take a short break. Afterward, she dances with Nathan, and he doesn't try anything else.
The music turns from a slow dance to more upbeat, and more people fill the floor, now dancing however they please in a giant mass of bodies.
Meredith doesn't last very long, she feels her legs tingling and recognizes she needs to sit down. She escapes from the crowd with Teddy, and the two women sit at a table together, catching up.
Later, Derek joins them and leans over to whisper in Meredith's ear. "When can we head home?"
She glances at the clock. "It's almost over. We can try to go now, but saying goodbye will take a good amount of time."
Derek nods, helping her up and gathering their things. She's about to head over to Teddy and Owen, who have moved back to their own table when something stops her.
"Oh my god, Colonel Grey? You're alive?"
A shocked voice causes both Meredith and Derek to turn and face a shorter, Asian woman dressed in a Marine dress uniform similar to Meredith's. At her side stands a large Belgian Malinois. Derek frowns at the woman's awed appearance and the dog's rapidly wagging tail at the sight of Meredith.
It takes a moment, but recognition does hit Meredith, and she breaks into a large smile as they shake hands. "Ortega! Long time no see!"
"Hi, I'm Master Sergeant Lily Ortega, I run the K9 branch of the Marine Corps." The woman shakes Derek's hand, and he's surprised for a moment at how strong it is. "This is Rex. He's my partner, though he's been retired for over a year now."
"Dr. Derek Shepherd, Meredith's boyfriend." He replies.
Meredith slips her gloves off and bends slightly to greet Rex. "Hey, buddy. Remember me? I bet you remember me."
Another taller, dark-skinned woman in a long dress comes to Lily's side, placing a featherlight kiss on Lily's cheek. "Ryleigh, this is Colonel Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd. This is Ryleigh, my wife. The colonel over here saved both mine and Rex's lives." Lily makes the introduction.
Meredith stands from petting the dog to shake hands with Ryleigh.
"Thank you. I've heard a lot of stories. Rex is like a child to us, and I don't know what I would do without him and Lily." Ryleigh says earnestly to Meredith as they shake hands and Meredith nods graciously.
"Lily is strong, she would have made it even if I hadn't been there. And Rex truly looks so much better."
"Hang on, what's the story here?" Derek interrupts, still confused about how the two Marines know each other.
Meredith laughs. "Just under a year ago I was in Delaram when Lily ended up in my medical tent covered in more lacerations than I've seen in my entire life. I mean, all over her body. Glass from an RPG."
Meredith begins to tell the story, veering off the topic momentarily to give Ryleigh and Derek some explanation. "Delaram is the Marine base in Afghanistan that is closest to the front lines, the most action. That place has been where I've seen some of the worst cases in my career. That is where soldiers are brought for damage control. Most of the time I didn't get to finish the surgery, I just got them stabilized and they were moved out.
"Anyway, I fixed Lily up and against my orders-" Meredith fixes Lily with a pointed look, "-she went right back out, saying she needed to get Rex. Not a week later I'm standing by the gates receiving a bomb victim when Lily comes running out of the rubble with something slung around her neck, resting on her shoulders. Rex." She glances down warmly at the dog.
"I was knocked out. Rex climbed on me to protect me, just as he'd been taught. Somehow, he ended up with three bullets in him from protecting me." Lily cuts in. She doesn't exactly remember the events of that day, nor does she want to. All she knows is that Rex is a hero, and he saved her.
"She laid him on the operating table in front of me and begged me to save him. She was a mess." Meredith adds. "I handed the bomb victim off to one of the other surgeons there."
"What was I supposed to do? He saved my life and there aren't any vets in Delaram. You were the next best thing." Lily shrugs defensively at the looks everyone gives her.
"I had no idea what to do, but the clock was ticking so I said screw it, and...well, I opened Rex up."
"You performed surgery on a dog?" Derek's jaw nearly drops, shocked. "In the field?"
"I was utterly clueless. For the first time since AP Chemistry in eleventh grade, I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. A dog's organs are similar to a human, they look kind of the same, but the placement is all off, and there are many differences. I was panicking. Somehow, Teddy found me a radio and got a vet from another camp online with me, telling me what to do. Although, by that time I had already removed the bullets, I just needed to make sure I knew how to finish."
"She saved his life," Lily glances at Rex affectionately and then smiles at Meredith. "Thank you so much."
"You've said that more times than I can count."
"I mean it." Lily nods, leaning into Ryleigh's embrace.
Derek clears his throat stepping forward. "It was really great meeting you, and that's one hell of a story there." He pats Rex. "But we were just about to leave, I'm exhausted and have an early shift tomorrow."
Derek's not tired. He could stay there all night, and he has the following day off. However, Meredith has had a crazy, draining night, and he can tell she needs to get home and get some rest.
They say their goodbyes, Meredith quickly making rounds to bid farewell to her friends. She wants nothing more than to sleep right now.
The ride home is quiet, and by the time they pull up to Derek's house, it's raining and past midnight.
"I need some sleep," Meredith says quietly as they enter the house and greet Bella. Her core is throbbing, sending that her thoughts are slow and she's dizzy. With weak legs, she heads to her bedroom, leans against the doorframe, and calls to Derek. "Can we talk tomorrow?"
He understands her exhaustion, but promises they're going to talk tomorrow. She's not getting out of it this time.
In her bedroom, Meredith slowly takes off her dress uniform, hanging it back up. She pulls her hair out of the bun, and though it's slicked back with gel still, she doesn't have the energy to shower tonight. She'll do it in the morning.
Pain pills are off-limits for the next few days, thanks to the alcohol she consumed tonight.
So, she puts on her comfiest clothes and collapses into bed, hoping that her tiredness and desperate need to sleep well overpower the horrible dreams that come to her every night.