In one second, all the anger and confusion piling up from the day vanish from Meredith's body. Her breath catches in her throat as she turns to meet the gaze of her boyfriend.
He looks just as shocked that he just said that as she is.
She opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. The silence that settles over them is uncertain and heavy.
"Damn it- okay," Derek mutters under his breath before walking closer to Meredith. He's had more than enough scotch, but somehow, his thoughts are coming fast and clear. "I love you. Meredith, I'm so, so in love with you. I...I don't think I could live without you. And I almost had to. I know, it's selfish. But the thought of you getting hurt...leaving me...and, it being my fault..."
He trails off, shaking his head. Meredith fights back tears, and a big, dopey smile takes over her lips.
"You love me?"
He hesitantly meets her gaze. "I do."
Meredith takes a deep breath before grabbing his arm and pulling his body close to hers. "I love you, too."
Derek's eyes widen in shock, and a smile appears on his face as well. "You do?"
"I do," she nods.
In that second, the rest of the world falls away as their lips meet. Passionately, heatedly. Their kisses are usually intense, leaving both of them wanting more. But this is different. The warm, fluttery feeling growing so intensely in both of them simply makes the kiss that much better.
Leaning into his touch, Meredith's heart does flip-flops, buzzing with amazement and excitement. She smiles into Derek's lips at this, and he smiles back before pushing her body back until she collides with the refrigerator door. The pain barely registers in Meredith's mind as she grasps at his shoulders, wanting more.
Derek can't keep his body away from her. The gentle curves of her hips and chest enchant him, and he lets his hands wander. One supports her back as the other moves to her breast. As soon as he touches her, even through her shirt, Meredith elicits a low moan that only makes him want her more.
He drops his head, allowing Meredith to tilt hers back as he moves his lips down her neck, trailing light kisses down and around her collarbone, her shoulders.
She moans again, arching her chest into him. Derek feels his throbbing need between his legs, and it hits him.
She's still recovering from surgery.
They can't have sex.
Against every single one of his desires, he pulls back, both of them panting. Derek still supports her, and she clutches his shoulders, legs almost too weak to support her own weight.
"We can't..." he whispers huskily.
Meredith groans, this time in frustration and annoyance. "I know."
Slowly, he moves away from her, but his hardon doesn't get the message that it's not happening. Meredith's gaze falls to his crotch then moves back to his face, a knowing smirk playing at her lips.
"I- uh, I think, I'm just gonna...yeah, I'm gonna shower. I need a shower. I'll just- uh, I'll be back."
Meredith laughs loudly at his stuttering, and he moves as quickly as possible with the steady tent in his pants to the shower in his bathroom.
She doesn't move from her spot against the fridge as she watches him walk away. She shifts uncomfortably, the fire burning between her own legs is hard to ignore.
Heart still pounding, she decides it's time for a cold, cold shower. As she moves to the bathroom in the guest bedroom- her old bedroom, the physical pain from everything she's done today hits her, and she bites her lip against it.
Meredith takes two of her pain pills dry before hopping into the shower. Physically and mentally exhausted from the day, she doesn't have the energy to do anything other than rinse off.
Feeling drowsy from the drugs, she collapses into her bed. She'll talk to Derek again after a nice, long nap.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it; that nap ended up lasting all night. Meredith doesn't wake up again until nearly 9:00 AM the following morning.
It vaguely registers in her mind that the only reason she slept this well is because of the powerful drugs that literally knocked her out. Stifling a groan, she knows the next night won't be as easy. She slowly sits up in bed when a warm voice scares her so much she nearly falls.
"Good morning."
Derek's smiling face in bed next to her instantly brings a smile to her own lips. He leans over, kissing her cheek before settling back against the headboard with a medical journal in his lap.
"You slept here?" Meredith rubs at her face, stifling a yawn.
"I got out of the shower and found you fast asleep. I needed the rest as much as you, and I didn't want to sleep alone." Derek admits, almost blushing.
"Ah, yes. Your shower," Meredith bites her lip, teasing him with a side glance. "Did you feel better after that?"
Derek reddens, and she can't hold back a laugh. "Evil woman. You delight in my embarrassment. I made you coffee, but now I think I'll just drink it myself."
"No!" Meredith protests, still smiling. "I'm sorry! Let me have the coffee, please."
He smiles, handing her a still-warm mug. She sips it gratefully. "When did you get up?"
"About an hour ago. Richard sent out an email to all staff. We have a week off and can take leaves of absence if needed. Also, everyone is required to see a trauma counselor before returning to work."
Meredith cringes. "Does that include me?"
"Well, considering you're the one who-" Derek catches himself before he can finish his sentence, cutting off the train of thought. "Yes. I think it applies to you, too."
Meredith drops her gaze. "Considering I'm the one who shot him?"
Derek is silent, regretting his slip of tongue. She sighs, and he avoids her gaze, listening to the sheets rustle as Meredith finds a more comfortable position. She takes his silence as a yes and crosses her arms across her chest, taking a more defensive position.
"Did you forget what I said last night?" Meredith asks softly.
Derek can't help but chuckle. "No, I remember last night very well."
She bites her lips to hide a smile. "That's not what I mean and you know it." A pause. "I've shot people before. Pulling a trigger it's...that's not a new feeling for me."
He turns to search her face. "That doesn't make it any easier though, does it? Taking someone's life?"
Meredith hears his voice crack, thick with emotion, and faces him as well. He sighs, needing to provide her an explanation.
"Remember I told you my dad died when I was a kid?"
She nods.
"I never told you how he died. He owned a shop. Amelia and I were there one day when two guys came in and...demanded that he give them all the money in the register. They had a gun. So, he did. But they didn't leave, they wanted his watch too. This watch that my mom had saved up to get him for years. And my dad, he...he refused. He wouldn't give them the damn watch.
"They shot him. They shot him, took the watch and the money, and left. I was right there, hiding, holding Amelia so tight to my chest. When they left I went over to my dad...there was so much blood. I tried to stop it but..."
Meredith moves to embrace him, seeing the tears in his eyes. "Derek..."
"The police never caught the guys who did it." He shuts his eyes, desperately trying to keep tears at bay. But when Meredith says, "I'm so sorry," he loses his battle and lets them come.
Derek cries softly, but a warm sense of protection and safety envelopes him, and he realizes that it's coming from Meredith's strong chest against his, and her arms wrapped tightly around him.
Slowly, the tears stop, and they sit comfortably together in silence for a long time.
"You remember what else I said yesterday?" Derek breaks the silence, his tone quiet.
Meredith smiles slowly, her heart fluttering. "I think so. Care to remind me?"
Derek pulls back just enough to make eye contact with her. "I love you, Meredith."
The pure joy that crashes over Meredith when she hears those words leaves her nearly speechless. "Say it again."
"I love you."
No one has ever told Meredith that before. Not even her mother and father. Well, Lexie did, and all of Meredith's friends have ways of showing it, but this is different. Never before has Meredith been in such a serious romantic relationship.
"God, I love you too."
They kiss, but it's tender and soft, nothing like the one from the previous night. As they pull away, Bella, who was previously somewhere else in the house noses her way through the bedroom door and dashes over to them, jumping up on the bed. Both Meredith and Derek laugh as the large dog settles herself between them, panting and tail flying happily.
Meredith strokes Bella's head gently as she leans against Derek. Her midsection aches slightly from the position, but she doesn't care. She's never been happier.
Meredith never imagined she would be here. She pictured so many different ways her future could go, many of them ending with her being killed in Afghanistan or the Middle East somewhere. Not once did she think she would come back and fall in love with her cocky, arrogant neurosurgeon.
"So, you have a whole week off? Seven days with no long shifts or emergency pages? Just us?"
Derek smiles at her hopeful question, then confirms, "Seven whole days of just us."
Meredith is happy, of course, but she really doesn't know how she's going to do it. Being around Derek just like this makes her want to have sex with him. after what happened last night- they got so close. All Meredith wants is more. She's never had to resist her desires like this before, and it's torture.
"When's our next post-op check? Clear me to operate?" She clears her throat awkwardly. "And for uh...other...strenuous activities?"
Derek bites back a laugh at her question, knowing exactly what she's asking. "It's scheduled in two weeks. But, depending on how you're feeling, we can probably clear you a lot sooner. I mean, you proved you can operate after yesterday, and you had a gunshot wound."
"I feel good. Really. I mean, I was sore after yesterday and I still get pangs of pain when I move too sharp or something, but other than that, I feel good."
Derek raises an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Or are you just trying to convince me to..."
"I'm sure, completely sure. I know better than to jeopardize my own health. Surgery is like a drug. I hadn't done it since the bombing in Iraq, and I got a big taste of it yesterday. I want more already. I need more."
He nods, agreeing strongly. "It is like a drug. But the high after? It's so much better."
Meredith gives him a shocked look. "You know what being high is like?"
Derek cringes, dropping his gaze. "Well...I smoked a little, back when I rode my motorcycle and all. But I haven't done anything serious."
She nods, biting her lip. "I can't hold it against you. I smoked a lot. Tried all sorts of drugs. I had the whole pink hair, black clothes, kind of thing going on in high school. Not my favorite time to look back on."
"Seriously? Pink hair?" He laughs outright at the image.
"I needed to be rebellious, okay? I was practically raising myself and living on my own, so," Meredith shrugs, defending herself with a light, humorous tone.
"For the record," Derek leans forward, close enough to rest his forehead against Meredith's, "I think you look utterly gorgeous just the way you are."
She smiles, blushing at the compliment and then turning to see Derek's laptop, which had been cast aside the moment she woke up. Raising an eyebrow in question, she prompts him to explain what he's doing.
Derek pulls the laptop back to him, letting Meredith see the news articles he's been reading. Her brows furrow deeply as she scrolls through the headlines.
Seattle Grace Hospital Massacre
Twelve Dead and Six Injured After Hospital Shooting
Ex-Military Surgeon Takes Down Active Shooter
Gunman Gary Clark Takes Own Life After a Murder Spree
Seattle Grace: Hospital or Horror Show?
Meredith skims through them, each essentially giving the same information. The biggest thing she picks up on, though, is that all the articles have at least one paragraph dedicated to her. Her quotes, her life, her achievements. They all make Meredith out to be some sort of hero.
"This is bullshit. They make it sound like I'm Wonder Woman." Meredith pushes the laptop back to Derek, scoffing.
Derek hums in disagreement. "Mer, you saved a lot of people."
"I did what I had to do. What I was trained to do. That's nothing special," she says sharply. "And look at all the bad press Seattle Grace is getting now."
"It'll make headlines when you're officially added to the staff though, I bet."
Meredith rolls her eyes, but inside, she holds back a smile at his compliment, then changes the subject, reaching for her phone. "I need to call Teddy for an update on Alex."
"I already did. Teddy went home a few hours ago. Cristina is with Alex now at Seattle Pres. But I knew you'd want to hear for yourself how he's doing, so I told Cristina to prepare for a call from you soon."
Meredith can't hold back a big smile at his gesture. So endearing, meaning so much to her, and yet he says it without a second thought. His focus is back on the laptop, telling her what he did like it was nothing.
Without thinking, Meredith shoves the laptop out of the way and rolls her body on top of his, ignoring the flickering of pain it sends through her body.
Their chests are pressed together, both breathing equally rapidly. Her mouth hovers just above his, waiting for the surprise in his eyes to disappear.
Meredith's heart is pounding, her body burning. All she can think about is Derek. They're in love. They're so in love, and she wants to show him in more ways than one just how much she loves him.
One of Derek's hands snakes up, bringing her head down enough that their lips meet. Her tongue enters his mouth immediately, and he moans when she nips his bottom lip.
Blood rushes through his body, and Derek feels himself start to grow hard. Meredith is straddling him, hands tangled in his hair as he grips her hips tightly, trying, if possible, to get even closer together.
"I love you," she whispers heatedly, pulling away briefly. His body becomes even hotter, and Meredith smirks, pressing her lips down exactly where he desires it the most. Derek inhales sharply and heavily at the sensation before whispering her words back to her.
He's never felt more turned on in his life.
Meredith sits back, reaching to the bottom of her shirt and pulling it off in one fast motion, then tossing it on the floor. She's not wearing a bra. Derek's hands have a mind of their own as they instantly move to massage her breasts. Meredith releases a moan and moves to pull Derek's shirt off as well.
Bella jumps off the bed and noses her way out of the room.
Derek's shirt is gone, and on instinct, he flips them swiftly so he's on top.
The movement takes Meredith by so much surprise that she can't hold back the loud, pained grunt that escapes her after landing so hard on her back at the same time Derek's weight is pressed against her front.
His eyes catch the fast shift from pleasure to pain in her expression and he stops, rolling off instantly. Guilt sears through him, and he turns uncomfortably on his side to look at Meredith, very aware of the tent in his pants.
"Fucking shit," she curses darkly, pulling the blanket up to cover her bare chest, "this is too much."
"I think I'm gonna need another shower," Derek states hesitantly, his voice raspy.
Meredith laughs, trying to catch her breath. "You need to clear me. How the hell are we going to make it through the next seven days?"
Derek rubs his face with his hand, equally as frustrated as her. "I can't just clear you. That's against almost every single rule."
She looks at him, mischief sparkling in her gaze. In a passionate whisper, she smirks, "So break the rules."
AHH! Things are getting spicyyy... ;))
So let me hear it! Want more? Want less? What happens next is up to you...