As I lay in my mother's womb, waiting to be born, I promised myself two things.
1. It would not be apparent, that I was anything out of the ordinary.
2. There would be no government experimentation or religious cult to form around me.
Suddenly, I heard a voice call out from the outside. "Good luck at the academy, Inoichi! Try to make friends with Shikaku and Choza, okay?"
"Yes, Kaa-chan."
God. Fucking. Damn it. This cannot possibly be happening to me.
I am in Naruto and Inoichi Yamanaka's younger brother.
As I am a Yamanaka, it is exceedingly likely that I will have to fight in the third shinobi war.
I probably won't even be able to live past twenty.
One might say that being reborn as a Yamanaka is a reincarnator's worst nightmare.
All it takes is a single mind-walk, and every single powerful ninja in the village is rushing over to show their "interest" in you.
However, I would argue that my situation is a net boon rather than a net burden.
After all, a Yamanaka's forte lies not only in attacking the mind but also in defending their own. Also, as long as I do nothing suspicious, there would be no reason for any of my clan members to use an a-ranked torture and interrogation Jutsu on the substitute clan heir.
As a baby, it is incredibly easy to do nothing suspicious. All I had to do was let my body's instincts run wild, and my crying, screaming, and flailing looked 100% natural.
It's incredibly humiliating, but I don't want to get Orochimaru on my ass before I'm coordinated enough to run the hell away.
I am currently seven months old, and the opportunity has finally presented itself for me to look at my reflection.
Oh wow.
My eyes are a shade greener than her, but I look like a spitting image of Ino. My straight, platinum blonde hair and teal eyes stand out quite a bit.
I've decided.
If my sensei asks what my "dream for the future" is, I'll say that I want to get married and have kids.
After all, it would be a shame to let these top-tier genetics go to waste.
As a side note, I was finally able to crawl around for a sustained period. My parents looked at me like I was some kind of genius, but I don't quite understand why. Back in my old life, it was perfectly normal for a baby to start crawling after 7-10 months.
Oh. Now I understand.
As stated in the anime, a baby's chakra network is incredibly underdeveloped. I'm willing to bet that the first few months of development are spent growing the baby's chakra network, with little to no physical growth.
Huh. Well, there is no problem with showing fast development, considering I'm going to have to become a shinobi anyway, but I should still be careful hiding my ability to talk. I'll speak my "first words" at the 15-month mark, which should be pretty ordinary no matter how you slice it.
Although I would have preferred being born to a rich noble or merchant, being a main-line shinobi clan member is still far better than spending my entire life as a peasant farmer or fisherman.
And among Konoha's clans, the Yamanaka clan is among the most preferable. Akimichi, Aburame, and Inuzuka all have some weird body modifications, Uchiha and Hyuuga get hunted down for their eyes, and the Senju clan is going extinct.
Being reborn as a Nara would be pretty great too, but the Yamanaka clan is still a top-tier option.
Thank you, god, I guess?
Author's note: In this story, I will be assuming that Inoichi and Minato are the same age and that Kakashi is 12 years younger than them. Hopefully, this gives you a good idea as to where our protagonist fits on the age scale.