"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!"
"For goodness sake Usagi, shut up!"
"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!"
They were running at top speed towards the Crown Game Centre, Usagi miraculously avoiding any collisions despite her tightly shut eyes.
"You already knew she was reading that sort of thing, so why're you blubbering about this!?"
"It's one thing knowing she's interested in reading that stuff but it's another seeing just how interested she is!" Wailed Usagi.
She was still letting out cries of disgust when they finally made it inside the deserted game centre.
Usagi's displeasure lessened as she distracted herself with some of the abandoned games, leaving Luna to paw at the controls of the Sailor-V arcade cabinet.
"Put that down and come over here," sniped Luna fifteen minutes later.
With a huff, Usagi holstered the plastic gun and dragged herself over to the stool Luna was perched upon. With a shudder she noticed her mother's laptop hooked up to some strange wires from within the bowels of the cabinet.
"There've been reports of a lot of people passing out across the city, most of them women and teenage girls. And my scans have found the common thread between all of them." She pointed a paw at the game's screen, which was displaying the serenadesofserena homepage. "It seems the enemy has been using this website to steal energy from people who write on it."
Usagi's brow furrowed. "But then why didn't I pass out? I just felt a little weird for a second or two."
"It must depend on how much time and energy you put into writing your stories," replied Luna.
Usagi gave another shudder remembering just how deeply her mother had been out of it.
"Hmm, guess being lazy has paid off for a change."
"Hey!" Despite her protest, Usagi was privately grateful for the mental distraction.
"Anyway," pressed on Luna, "The computer has zeroed in on an energy spike nearby. We need to check it out, it'll probably help us put a stop to this."
With that, Luna hopped off her stool and made for the door, Usagi lightly jogging to catch up.
"Hold on," she called out, "Just where are we going?"
Jadeite smirked at the ever expanding ball of energy building before him. He'd gathered more than even he could have hoped for. And yet…
His smirk faded.
… Would even this be enough to placate Beryl? She'd been in such a foul mood lately she may well be looking for an excuse to punish somebody. And given his string of failures he'd be the prime candidate.
Then again, maybe a success of some kind might be enough to save his skin. And he was confident that this time would indeed be a success. A combination of bad luck and a lack of forethought had undermined him before. That wouldn't happen now.
The nature of his plan had been selected carefully, although his servant's disguise had been intended to mock and belittle his adversary. It was an indulgence he felt safe in pursuing. After all, he was sure his enemy was too young and too high minded, too noble, to engage in the degeneracy he was exploiting.
"Hold it!"
Jadeite tore his gaze away from the energy and snapped his head towards the edge of the roof.
"Reading and writing about physical intimacy has made millions of women and girls happy across the world. How dare you try to exploit that for evil!"
Jadeite made an imperceptible noise at the back of his throat. It was something between a groan and a growl.
"I am the pretty sailor suited soldier of Love and Justice. Sailor Moon!"
At the sight of several all too familiar poses, he clenched a fist and began to grind his teeth.
"In the name of the Moon, I shall punish you!"
Jadeite positively glowered at the Senshi. "Just when I thought you could sink no lower in my eyes, Sailor Moon," he said with a snarl.
"And just what's that supposed to mean?" She shot back.
"In a moment it won't matter."
Moving to the side so as to remove the energy ball from sight, Jadeite extended his other hand outwards, his palm aimed at the Senshi. She dived to the side, but Jadeite seemed nonplussed by her manoeuvre.
"Come on out Purūdo!"
A rectangle composed of blue light formed at the centre of Jadeite's outstretched palm. The rectangle swiftly expanded until it's height exceeded Jadeite's own. From it emerged…
"Serena Midnight!?" Gasped Sailor Moon.
Sure enough, a blonde, blue eyed woman with two hair buns walked out of the square.
Jadeite let out a sinister chuckle. "Serena Midnight was merely an invention, a disguise I concocted for my servant to discreetly inhabit the website you humans visited. She was watching you the whole time, connecting to your hearts and minds as you all so willingly expended your energy writing your tripe."
"She… She could read our minds!?" Sailor Moon breathed out, Jadeite delighting in the anxiety in her voice.
"Only the thoughts you were focussing upon when writing." To his displeasure, Sailor Moon seemed relieved about this.
"But why does she," the Senshi pointed at the Youma, though her gaze was fixed upon Jadeite, "look like me!?"
Jadeite let out a short yet derisive laugh. "It amused me to mock and humiliate you so Sailor Moon. To imagine you knowing that dozens of people would be envisioning someone who looked like you in all manner of…" he smirked again, "... 'compromising' scenarios."
"Ha!" Sailor Moon's reaction wasn't what Jadeite had expected and swiftly wiped the smirk from his face. "Jokes on you Jadeite. In writing my own stories I've grown beyond being embarrassed by something like that."
"Ha!"
For a moment, Jadeite's curiosity got the better of him and he wondered who had laughed and why Sailor Moon suddenly looked rather annoyed. Then he quashed these thoughts and re-focussed upon the business at hand.
"Embarrassed or not, you shall still fall at the hand of my great Youma!" He shot a nod at his oddly silent and still servant.
For a moment nothing happened and Jadeite wondered if he should give a more obvious command. But then the form of the blonde, bun-headed woman began to contort and change. Before Sailor Moon could move another muscle 'Serena Midnight' was gone. In her place stood a creature with blue skin, a high collared Victorian-style dress and a monocle affixed to it's right eye.
"Now, Sailor Moon," chided Jadeite, "Purūdo will dispatch you before returning to the internet and continuing to drain these human fools of their energy. Your pitiful powers pale in comparison to her might!"
His face split into a wicked grin. However, the grin was soon replaced by a look of confusion once he noticed Sailor Moon's own expression. He had been hoping for fear. He would have been satisfied with apprehension. At the very least he had expected to see a note of defiance upon her features. And yet he saw none of these. Instead, Sailor Moon looked… confused?
"... Um… Your Youma doesn't look very well."
Jadeite blinked. Then he turned his gaze upon his servant.
"Purūdo what… Whatever is the matter with you?"
Purūdo's body stood oddly still and rigid. She might have been a statue, were it not for her unusually dilated eyes and quivering bottom lip.
"... M-m-master Jadeite…. T-th-the things these humans w-wr-write…"
For a second or two nobody moved or spoke, leaving Purūdo's haunted words to hang in the air. Finally, Jadeite let out a deliberate, and thoroughly convincing, cough.
"... Yes, well… Pull yourself together Purūdo. You have a job to do after all," he said in a voice of forced gruffness.
Purūdo made an odd jerk of her head which Jadeite took as a sign of affirmation.
"I'll be nearby, so… um…."
In a flash the Shittenou departed, eternally grateful to vacate the all encompassing awkwardness of the situation.
Vaguely, a part of Usagi wondered if she should attack the monster. The rest of her, though, was too busy blushing profusely.
"... Er…" she began, unsure what exactly to say. "... So… is there any chance you could give back that ener-"
"What is WRONG with you humans!"
Usagi jumped and gave an embarrassed little gulp, trying very hard to avoid Luna's eye from the ledge below.
"Whilst I was inside your computers I was exposed to… exposed to…" She shuddered and let out a slow, rattling breath. "I know from master Jadeite how you humans make a big deal of something called 'love.' Well, if that's what love is supposed to be then you all need our Dark Kingdom to take over your planet."
Purūdo drew herself up and adjusted her monocle. "Not one of our members would even dream of the depraved things you all commit to writing." Leaning forwards, she placed one hand on her hip and used the other to thrust an admonishing finger in Usagi's direction. "Each and every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves!"
"Hey!" Usagi retorted. Unconsciously, she'd mimicked Purūdo's pose, although she was straight backed and had planted her feet firmly. "Reading and writing about love and sex isn't anything to be ashamed of!"
The fire in her eyes was matched only by the righteous indignation lacing her voice. "Whether it's a teenaged girl during the blossoming of her youth or a middle aged mother taking a break from housekeeping, " Usagi could practically feel Luna shooting a raised eyebrow at her, "it's a natural and totally healthy thing for people to do so long as they're old enough."
"Even if it involves dressing up in a nurse's outfit with no panties on? Or roleplaying as a cop who likes to tie up their criminals with handcuffs and rope? Or a queen who dominates an imprisoned prince at her leisure!?" Purūdo yelled.
"Uh," Sailor Moon stammered, thinking the Youma was being oddly specific. "Yeah... Even something like that! There's no harm in it if it's just someone's imagination. Or something someone reads for fun! Or even something people do together in real life, so long as they all consent to do it!"
Purūdo scowled at Usagi and, with blistering speed, manifested two lengths of thin rope out of thin air! Usagi was so taken aback she hesitated for the merest instant. Purūdo, by contrast, did not. The ropes shot out like striking vipers and Usagi found herself suddenly ensnared and dragged along her back towards the Youma.
"This is but a taste of the horrors I was forced to witness," Purūdo snarled, "But don't worry, even I wouldn't subject you to the degeneracy you humans wish to inflict upon one another."
Usagi tried flexing her arms but succeeded only in making the ropes cut into her.
"Instead," continued Purūdo, "I shall simply put you out of your misery so you need not suffer such an indecent world any longer. Although..." A wicked smile broke across her blue skin. "... since you were so keen to defend this filth, I suppose a little bit of irony might be in order."
Looking up at her assailant, Usagi's eyes widened as Purūdo manifested something else from thin air. A nine tailed whip!
Purūdo raised the whip and prepared to strike!
SHUK!
A red streak cut through the air. Immediately Purūdo let out a yell of pain and abruptly dropped the whip.
SHUK!
SHUK!
SHUK!
Usagi suddenly felt the ropes binding her slacken. With little effort she cast out her arms, the ropes falling away completely. Hastily freeing her legs, she bounced to her feet. Putting a little distance between herself and the Youma, she chanced a glance at the now discarded ropes. Amongst the severed threads, and embedded into the concrete, were four bright red roses.
She whirled around and quickly zeroed in on a nearby construction crane some feet above the bookshop roof.
"Tuxedo Mask!" She exclaimed.
Purūdo followed her gaze, looking up at the tuxedo and top hat clad man perched atop the crane, his cape billowing in the wind.
"Love and romance is what fuels the hearts of women and girls everywhere. It gives them hope they might find their true love and share something special with them for all the years to come. Any monster hoping to dash those dreams is truly unforgivable!"
"Even this sort of smut?" The Youma quipped. "That's not love, that's just filth."
"Smut?" Tuxedo Mask cocked his head. "Wait, what?"
Sailor Moon laughed uncomfortably. "Yeah, well," she rubbed the back of her head. "I mean, some of it can be a little spicy…"
"Oh." From underneath his white mask, Sailor Moon could see Tuxedo Mask's face flush, which in turn caused her own cheeks to burn red.
"Oh please," the Youma groaned. "Get a room already."
"Ahem," Tuxedo Mask cleared his throat. "Sailor Moon, if you wouldn't mind." Using his cane, he gestured towards Purūdo.
"Huh? Oh, right!"
Usagi swiftly brought her hand up to her tiara.
"Moon Tiara Action!"
In a single fluid motion, she removed the tiara, transformed it into a glowing discus and hurled it at the Youma!
Purūdo was totally caught off guard and grunted as the attack hit her stomach, the force of the discus popping her monocle off. "No! To die knowing even this is probably somebody's kink!" she screamed before dissolving into dust.
On a nearby rooftop, Jadeite winced as the ball of swirling energy vanished into thin air.
Tuxedo Mask leapt from his perch, landing but a foot away from Sailor Moon.
A light breeze blew across the bookstore roof carrying away Purūdo's remains as if she'd never been there at all. For a moment the pair of them stood silently opposite one another, her skirt and his cape moved gently by the wind.
"Good work Sailor Moon," he said softly.
"Thank you," she replied quietly. "And thanks for helping me again, Tuxedo Mask. Even if you didn't realize what me and that monster were arguing about." She let out a slightly nervous laugh.
"It doesn't matter. I might not have known, but I stand by what I said. It wouldn't have made a difference to me. Although..." Usagi noticed his body tense slightly as he hesitated. "... is that, uh, is that something you're interested in, Sailor Moon?"
Now she was blushing. Nervous laughter rolled out of her uncontrollably.
"Well," her face grew redder and redder. "I did try writing it myself earlier, but I didn't get very far. I think maybe I needed a little…"
Blue. His eyes were blue. She had never noticed that before. Then again… she'd never been this close to him before either.
"... inspiration?"
"... Oh really?" His voice was heady and it sent shivers down her spine. A part of her thought she might collapse.
"Yeah, I guess so," she said, a little breathlessly. "I've always been curious when reading about it, but I've never, you know…"
Her chest was tight. He was so close now and she could see his lips parting, almost inviting her to kiss them. She felt a slamming sensation within her chest and hoped he couldn't hear her heart beating a mile a minute.
She looked up at him reluctantly, blood rushing to her cheeks and throughout the rest of her body. "It's something I've definitely thought about sharing with someone special," she said quietly. "If I happened to meet them."
"Yeah, me too." Tuxedo Mask smiled and shifted awkwardly. "That is, if I found someone special, too." The two beamed at eachother like it was their first schoolyard crush.
They didn't say anything more.
She simply watched as tipped his hat to her and silently departed. She watched him hop from one roof to another until he was out of sight. It was only then she moved a muscle, walking over to where the Youma had previously ensnared her. Bending down she plucked one of the roses out of the concrete and lifted it to her face, touching its soft petals to her nose, feeling the scent practically course through her body.
All of a sudden, Ami's biology lecture made a lot more sense to her. And on top of that… she felt an incredible urge to write...
Excerpt from Tuxedo Romance By LovelyBunny0630
One day, at a jewelry store Serena met a really handsome man in a tuxedo named Darien. It turned out they were totally soulmates, so they wasted no time going to his amazing mansion to make the greatest love in the universe!1!11!
Darien unzipped the pants to his tuxedo and took out his very, very, very big(delete)huge(delete)large(delete)gigantic(delete)enormous(delete)monstrous(delete)gargantuan (delete) nice penisdelete)dick(delete)cock(delete) manhood.
He then put his very, very, very good looking manhood inside Serena's vagina(delete)pu(delete)cu(delete)ga(delete)(why're all these names horrible!)flower, which she liked a whole lot.
Then, they both had awesome, mindblowing super orgazmic sex for the next eight hours, and it felt super duper good for both of them.
Later they got married and had even more yummy sex (usually with cake and ice cream in between their fanomanall orgazims) and had lots of cute babies and totally lived happily ever after!
The room was dark save for the, distinctly not blue, light emanating from the laptop screen. It was also silent, save for a sigh of satisfaction from the figure lazily leaning back into her chair.
"This is fun," nodded Usagi with a smile.
A/N: I hope you are enjoying enjoying my story so far!
I'd also like to inform you that I am part of a discord server called 'Moonlight Legends' which is all about Sailor Moon fanworks, including fanfics, fan art, etc.
If you would like to join DM me and I will happily send you an invite link.