There was a wet teabag on the kitchen counter.

Danny stared at it for a long moment, feeling the prickle of annoyance from the past few weeks precipitate into a burning anger that he hasn't felt in a while. He snatched up the wet lump of trash and chucked it aggressively into the bin. This was the day. He could feel it. He was going to die on this hill by himself, or take Vlad down with him.

He opted for the latter.

Danny stormed into the library where the man sat innocently with his book and steaming cup of tea, minus the teabag. Danny felt something inside him snap.

"Is there something satisfying about leaving teabags everywhere?" He said heatedly. "Or do you just do it to annoy me?"

Vlad stared blankly at him. "I beg your pardon?"

"You. With the tea. Teabags everywhere staining the counters," Danny said through gritted teeth. "Why do you make it your life's mission to piss me off?"

Vlad just looked lost. "Do you want me to break down my twelve-part plan or...?"

"Oh, you think this is funny?"

"I don't even know where this is coming from!" Vlad cried. "What's gotten into you this morning, Daniel? It's just one teabag."

"It's not just the teabags!" Danny was livid. Everything was coming out now. "It's the cups. It's the glasses. It's whatever drink you leave behind because you never finish it."

"I put them in the sink!"

"That wasn't you, that was me!" Danny retorted. "God, Vlad, this quarantine is hard enough without you driving me insane day and night. And speaking of nights, I can't even sleep now because your snoring has gotten worse."

Vlad scoffed. "Now you're just exaggerating. My snoring is not that bad."

"Oh, please. It practically rattled the windows. My dad's RV didn't make that much noise when it hit rocks!"

"You think you're so easy to live with, don't you?" Vlad fought back. "I can't even walk around our bedroom without tripping over your shoes or your clothes. How difficult is it to use a hanger?!"

"At least it's not as bad as spending an hour in the bathroom on your hair!" Danny said. "How many beauty products does one person need? How much more vain can one person get?"

"You leave my hair out of this!"

"I can't even use the bathroom when you're in there!"

"You live in a house with five full bathrooms, Daniel. So just pick one and use it!"

"It's about the principle of the matter!" Danny yelled. "You can't just hog the bathroom all to yourself!"

"I bought all five bathrooms. If I want to take my sweet time using one, then I'm going to do whatever I want!"

Danny threw his hands up and started walking away. "That's it. I'm not gonna talk to you when you're being impossible to deal with."

"I'm impossible to deal with," Vlad said incredulously. "This whole fight started over a teabag!"

"It's not about the teabag!" Danny screamed and ran for the stairs. He couldn't do this anymore. He was going to kill the bastard if he stayed one more second.

"Oh, you're walking away. That's just terrific! Happy fucking Valentine's Day to us!" Vlad shouted sarcastically, too livid to censor himself. In all his years alive, Danny was the only person to push his buttons enough to make him curse.

Danny slammed the door to their bedroom hard, listening with satisfaction as the noise reverberated through the hallway. That felt good.

He plopped onto the bed with a groan, massaging his hoarse throat. They haven't fought like that in a while. Man, quarantine was really making this marriage age in dog years. He hoped that they don't kill each other before this whole nightmare is over. Loving Vlad through COVID lockdown was really hard sometimes.

It wasn't even about the teabag, dammit.

Danny got up, frustrated. It wasn't a good idea to sit here and brood. He needed some distance. Or something to take his anger out on. The ghost zone for the next few hours sounded just perfect.

He made sure to leave a note before leaving.

When the sun finally started setting, Vlad decided enough was enough and went off to find Daniel. Call him old-fashioned, but Vlad was a firm believer in never going to bed angry. He had some making-up to do.

Vlad easily phased through the door to their bedroom, searching for a familiar figure but coming up empty. He frowned at the two shirts on the ground that didn't belong to him. It seemed so silly. It was just two shirts. Why were they even fighting?

"Daniel?" He called out. No answer. Vlad started getting a little worried. Daniel wasn't the type to just up and leave with no explanation.

A note on the bed quickly reassured him that it wasn't the case at all.

Dear Vlad,

Went for some alone time in the ghost zone. I think we both need it.

This doesn't need repeating, but I love you. You're my husband. Marrying you was, and still is, the best decision of my life.

But if you yell about stupid shit one more time, I will personally social distance myself the fuck out of this marriage.

Happy Valentine's Day,

Danny

P.S: This is still not about the teabag.