Everything is one-sided, Yuuka's mind is just a mess. I do not even ship Kouta & Yuuka.
Warning for cousin incest & light nsfw.
Whumptober 2021: No.9 - Tears.
Hurt no Comfort.
Disclaimer: I own this fanfiction but not the source material.
It was so easy to get lost in the busy day-to-day of the Maple Inn; their ragtag group having grown, with Yuuka embracing a matriarchal role while Kouta, in her mind, was her husband and they were looking after their family. It was in those times, when she smiled small and warm, like when Kouta gave Wanta attention when Mayu was busy, and other times trying to help Nyu expand her vocabulary in his own clumsy way.
She bit her lip, shaking, trying and hold onto to what little composure remained.
Kouta, Nyu...
The pair were why she holed herself up in her room, storming off. Yuuka Slapping Kouta first after catching him and Nyu in another compromising position. Tears blurred her sight. Intimately familiar intrusive thoughts swarmed Yuuka's mind, reminding the young woman of all of her insecurities with force that made her question if her heart or head hurt more.
Those moments like earlier were brutal reminders of her knowing this was a fantasy life she let herself get lost in. In the mirror, she saw all the cracks; compared to Nyu she was plain. Nyu was beautiful, had bright pink hair that stood out and horns(ones like Kouta was so taken by and drew often when they were children). The other woman looked good no matter what clothes of Yuuka's she wore, and being in her difficult position, Nyu always had a smile on her face, wanting to make sure everyone else in their little family was happy too.
Her throat tightened.
It was no wonder Kouta was attracted to her, Nyu was Nyu and she could not bring herself to be mad at the other girl, not when it was Kouta being unfair, forgetting what a treasured night they shared that was cemented in her heart, her mind. Yuuka had no horns, plain brown hair and eyes. A glance to the side showed a few new fashion and style magazines she had taken private time to study. It was so much harder than it looked to try and keep a stylish appearance- look good, stand out in her own way... To catch Kouta's eyes more.
His eyes went to Nyu's more than her.
In her desperation to keep in the fight for his heart, whenever Kouta discussed Nyu, Yuuka had to know if Kouta would do the same for her. Sometimes more.
A light flush stood out on her face, she shut her eyes, embarrassed having those thoughts even now.
Years. Years she had dreamt of Kouta touching her in ways only meant for a lover to do. A hand groping her breasts, his other in her panties while she held onto him and they kissed with open passion of lovers reunited. Some nights the dreams felt so real(how many times had she had awoken to soiled panties? Even in waking times, Yuuka felt shamed on how easily she got wet. It was unbecoming and a problem she did not know how to fix).
Those dreams would not stop and Yuuka knew she would not let them go just yet, not after what was on her mind. Adding them to the fantasy she was becoming conflicted on holding onto with everything or leaving it all behind.
Did she truly belong here anymore?
Mayu was young, yet very independent, could cook and Nyu had made progress, being able to prepare simple rice dishes. Kouta was not a graceful man, but could cook as well. They really did not need her to help prepare their dinners, make sure they had warm baths. They were also capable of keeping the inn tidy without her supervision. If Kouta were on his own, her presence would be more effective but then there was Nyu who would be there cleaning along with a smile on her face and a cheerful hum.
A painful realization struck, taking the young woman's breath away, her legs weak.
Without seeing it, her fantasy was slowly becoming Nyu's reality. Yuuka, who wasn't sure if she was being truly fashionable, who was plain compared to Nyu, who struggled to keep her true loves eyes on her, who gave up so much to be with him, who had lived her life based on a memory so special she felt it too cruel that Kouta forgot, that his amnesia was so strong it took away their precious shared festival night. The insecurity burned too hot, taking it out on Kouta for doing that to her, causing her this pain when he should know how she felt.
He would wait for her to come out of her room first, she knew this, knew him too well.
Yuuka had no intention of leaving her room that night, appearing a mess with red eyes, flushed face and tears that had not stopped. Nyu would try and make her feel better not knowing seeing the other woman now would make her feel worse, comparing herself to her and knowing in her heart, that she was fighting a losing battle with Nyu over Kouta.
It was unfair.
Nyu, with her own carefree ways did not know she was also competition in Yuuka's eyes. Yuuka did not fault Nyu. Yuuka was hopelessly in love and dedicated to Kouta, the life she dreamt they would have, all the plans she had involving it. Involving both of them together, eventually having a child of their own. Unlike her own father, who worked so many long hours there were some days she would be lucky to catch a glimpse of his face, Kouta would come home to her, their child and they would be happy together.
Would be.
Already this life was falling through her grasp, watching her dreams shatter before her eyes. All brought on by them in a position she would have given so much to trade places with Nyu for. Kouta was not pushing Nyu away, not turning down the other girls advance. His eyes were not one of someone unhappy, focused entirely on her, certain his thoughts went to places like Yuuka's did for him. That was all she needed to see to know.
Fruitlessly she wiped away tears that had continued to fall fat and heavy, seeing cracks in a mirror only visible to her but all too real.
It was time for her to leave.
Her fantasy was broken.