Chapter 26 - The Inevitable

Edward

(A year and a half later...)

The oven timer buzzes. I slide out the baking sheet of scorching hot Bagel Bites using my bare hands. Next I locate a can of chilled soda inside of the refrigerator. With the serving tray loaded with everything needed, I lift it from the counter and carry it out of the kitchen. I gave Bella space this morning so she could read without interruption. But it is noon now.

Lunchtime for the human.

I enter the living room on my way to the staircase. Everyone - with the exception of Bella - is in here.

Carlisle shakes his head in disappointment at the headline in the local newspaper. Blizzard Headed For Newfoundland, it reads. Businesses all across the island are likely to close for the next several days, including the general practice he joined after we moved here. The work is different than what you would deal with at a hospital, but he found that he likes the change very much. He can spot diseases during their early stages, thereby giving his patients a much better chance of a quick recovery.

Meanwhile, Esme uses her vast knowledge in architecture and design to work on blueprints for a greenhouse. Soon, cold Canadian winter's will no longer keep her from gardening year round.

My brother Jasper sits not far away. He is busy playing with the new Macintosh Plus he received a few days ago. The computer came with a whopping one megabyte of ram, plus a copy of Oregon Trail. He was happy with this Christmas gift at the time, though he wasn't impressed by the computer game's lack of historical authenticity. Evidently, finding an abandoned wagon loaded down with supplies wasn't as prevalent in real life as the game makes it seem. And Jasper should know. He followed that trail more than once back in the day.

As I pass through the living room, my other brother glances at me. Once Emmett sees what's in my hands, he smirks mischievously.

Aww, Edward. Look at you with that serving tray! All that's missing is a frilly little apron tied around your waist and you'd be mistaken for a French maid. So, what did Bella force you to cook for her this time?

I whip around to glare at him. "Bella doesn't force me to do anything. I decided to surprise her today with her favorite lunch."

He snickers to himself. Whatever, dude. You are so whipped.

"So says the man currently painting his wife's toe nails hot pink," I retort.

Emmett's dimpled grin droops to a frown. He can't come up with a proper defense. That's partly because he sits cross-legged at Rosalie's feet - giving her a pedicure - while she watches a soap opera on TV. She never asks him to do this. It's more like she hands him a bottle of nail polish with the expectation that he will do what she wants. Whenever he musters the courage to complain, all she has to do is give him a sultry pout and he turns to putty in her hands.

And he has the nerve to call me whipped?

With a roll of my eyes, I stroll away with the intention of heading upstairs. I take no more than two steps before I am distracted. The fashion magazine my sister Alice had been flipping through falls to her lap. I watch along with her as she is swept away by a vision.

Mahogany brown hair blowing in the wind.

Blood-red lips curved into a soft, alluring smile.

And...

Like a virgin, hey! Touched for the very first time! Alice sings the annoying song inside her head, blocking out everything else.

My forehead furrows in confusion. The vision vanished without a trace, which is disappointing... and suspicious considering it ended just when it was getting interesting. I would recognize that brown hair and those lips anywhere.

"Alice? What was that vision about?"

"Nothing," she says flippantly as she retrieves her copy of Vogue. She suddenly becomes inordinately intrigued by the menthol cigarette advertisement in the magazine.

"Well, this 'nothing' you speak of looked a lot like Bella."

"Did it?" she says without looking away from the page.

"Yes," I say impatiently. "Why did you cut off that vision? I didn't get to see much of it."

"Good. It's... a surprise."

I replay Alice's vision again from my infallible memory. Bella's plump bottom lip was coated in bright red. I've never seen her wear that particular shade of lipstick before. When she does decide to wear makeup, Bella usually sticks with pink or a soft red. I must admit this new color had her mouth looking particularly delectable.

Thinking of lipstick gives me the clue I needed. Now I have an inkling of what Alice is trying to hide from me.

I look to her once again. "Is Bella having another makeover soon?"

"Makeover?" Alice purses her mouth and twists it to the side. "Umm...sure! I guess you could call it that."

I nod in understanding. Alice would happily dress up Bella daily if she could, and she did back when the two of them first met. However, Bella enjoyed her newfound freedom too much to allow that to go on forever. Now it is only for special occasions that Bella will give Alice free rein of her wardrobe and makeup. I am almost positive one of those "special occasion" days will fall on our anniversary, which is coming up soon. Almost two years ago I moved to Forks and met a quiet girl who changed my existence for the better. I bet Alice was receiving a glimpse of how lovely Bella will look on our anniversary and doesn't want to spoil it for me. I'm fine with that. Surprises are nice when it comes to Bella.

Just as I am preparing to leave the living room, another vision from the future appears before Alice. All I see is a flash of pale skin before my sister shuts the vision down in the most cruel way imaginable.

"Like a viirr-GIN!" She croons the song out loud, using the rolled up copy of Vogue as a stand-in for a microphone. "With your heartbeat, next to miii-ne. Who-o-ooa!"

I cringe and try to block out her voice as best as I can. Her Madonna impersonation is spot on...and disturbing. They both sound like eight year old girls singing through their noses.

Following my escape from the living room, I am relieved when Alice shows mercy to my ears and shuts up. I take my time as I climb the stairs. Many pictures line the wall along the route, most of which have Bella in it somewhere. There's Bella with a smudge of dirt on her nose as she helps Esme weed the garden out back. Another is of Bella being tossed in the pool by Emmett. The look on her face is equal parts thrilled and terrified. But, I think my favorite is her prom photo. Our prom photo, I suppose I should say. Attending a school sanctioned dance was a first for the both of us. My second favorite is the photo Carlisle snapped of her as she walked across the stage at her graduation six months ago. She looked so proud of herself, and rightly so. It's not easy starting high school in a new place. And, it is especially hard when you are worried someone will discover that the life story you provided the school is in fact one gigantic lie.

We did all we could to protect ourselves after we fled Forks. New identities were created. All connections with our past were severed. But that did not stop the news of what I had supposedly done from spreading like wildfire. Newspapers across the Northwest screamed with headlines about how teenage arsonist (aka Edward Cullen) was wanted for burning down a small town's only supermarket, and how he was suspected in the disappearance of an innocent girl (aka Bella Swan). Even my parents were wanted for questioning. Carlisle, Esme, and I were fortunate in that no one had any photographs of us. This made the police's job of finding us much more difficult. They had to be content with releasing police sketches to the press of what we look like. Those drawings were laughable. None of them even remotely resembled us.

Bella was not as lucky. Thanks to years worth of yearbook photos, her image was splashed across newspapers and missing person signs all across the state. She would have been featured on the back of thousands of milk cartons too if Alice hadn't foreseen it first. We had just enough time to break into the facility and switch her face and information to that of another missing girl. However, there wasn't much we could do when the local TV news affiliate covered the story. It was strange watching people we once knew talk about Bella's disappearance. Heather Sawyer told the reporter about how she warned her "close friend" that getting involved with me would be a bad idea. Then she turned dramatically to the camera and begged for Bella's release, all while crying with the driest eyes I've ever seen. Bella snorted a laugh and gave a thumbs down to Heather's performance.

During this stressful time, my family gathered round to help and support us. Alice and Jasper cut their vacation short. Emmett and Rosalie gave up their chateau in France and returned to us months earlier than they had first planned. After watching the media circus for several days, we decided leaving things in Forks the way they were wouldn't be in our best interests. There were too many loose ends. My name had become synonymous with that of a crazed maniac. The people of the Olympic Peninsula were paranoid that I would return and cause more destruction.

To put their fears to rest, my family staged a crime scene. We pushed my beloved Jaguar over a cliff and into the waters of the Pacific. When the authorities discovered the wrecked vehicle and realized who it was registered to, new speculations arose. They surmised that Edward Cullen - having lost the last remnants of his sanity - decided to do away with himself, his adopted parents, and quite possibly his girlfriend Bella Swan. The search for the four of us was eventually scaled back. Everyone assumes our bodies were washed out into the ocean. Although the case is officially still open, no one in Forks believes we are alive.

It was the best possible outcome for us.

We found sanctuary just outside of Clarenville, a small town in Newfoundland. Since it is on the opposite side of the North American continent, news coverage of the teenage arsonist and his missing girlfriend was minimal. It consisted of a small, one paragraph mention in the newspaper. No photos were used. It appeared we could finally relax and start new lives in this quiet, peaceful town. So far, no one has suspected that the McCartys are anything other than a large yet also extremely private clan. The family consists of Doctor McCarty, his wife Esme, her nieces Bella and Alice Platt, and their four adopted children (including the Hale twins).

It was a relief having my siblings there to attend high school again. Students were less likely to gawk at Bella and me when they could watch much more riveting things, such as Emmett and Rosalie shoving their tongues down one another's throats in the cafeteria. But that didn't stop Bella from worrying whenever a student did happen to stare at her for a beat too long. She was paranoid someone might see one of her old missing person posters and notice a resemblance. Alice and I assured her that we would see it coming if anything like that were to happen. Nevertheless, Bella spent most of her senior year wearing her hair in a high ponytail just to give herself a slightly different look.

Although it is unlikely we will ever be found by the authorities, my family continues to monitor the situation in Forks. A couple of interesting developments have occurred. Thanks to my reputation there, most people in town assumed I must have been involved in the explosion at the Swan residence. However, after months of investigation, no evidence of foul play could be found. It was officially declared an accident. That doesn't matter much to the good people of Forks. In their minds, I am guilty.

In other news, support for the music ban crumbled after Chief Swan's passing. The new chief of police - former deputy Gerald Mitchell - announced that his department would no longer enforce it. The citizens of Forks are set to vote if they want to do away with the ban permanently this spring. I may not have Alice's power of prophecy, but I do predict the music ban there will be coming to an end soon.

I take another step up the stairs and admire the next few photographs on the wall. After graduating high school, Bella decided that she wanted to take a gap year before we both head off to Brown University. She and I have spent the last six months touring Europe. The wall of photos reflects this. There are pictures of Bella marveling at Stonehenge, Bella in my arms as we lounge on the grass at Versailles, and many more. Watching her joyous reaction when we arrive at a new place is addictive. The only reason why we returned home was so we could celebrate the holidays with the family.

Once I reach the second floor, I pass by my bedroom and head for the one at the very end of the hallway. Esme thought separate bedrooms would be best since Bella was only seventeen when we first moved here.

"Shared bedrooms are for married couples," she had said.

I agreed with Esme wholeheartedly...but that never stopped me from crawling into Bella's bed each night. I usually only enter my room if I need something from the closet. Early on, Bella felt that I shouldn't have to go back and forth between bedrooms so often. After all, I am in her room a majority of the time. She created space in her closet by tossing out a few dresses she had no plans on ever wearing. Then, she offered to let me stick some shirts and pants in there.

Alice threw a fit.

According to my sister, Bella was going to get rid of one particular outfit that would have resulted in the destruction of the entire universe had she been successful. Apparently Vivienne Westwood is a designer whose clothing you never want to part ways with. I told Bella that keeping my clothes in my own closet was less of a hassle than dealing with Alice's drama. What I didn't mention was that one day in the near future, neither Alice nor Esme will be able to say anything about the two of us sharing a bedroom or closet. That's because I plan on marrying Bella as soon as she graduates from Brown.

I just need to ask her first.

Bella's door is ajar, just like I left it earlier. The bedroom is like an extension of herself. It's warm, with soft touches here and there to please the eye. A large bookshelf is on one wall, my music collection is on another. Across the room, Bella sits in the window nook. She wears a pair of dark leggings and a blue sweater. Around her neck is the locket which once belonged to my mother.

She looks beautiful.

The new book she said she wanted to read this morning is laying open on her lap. After being alone for hours, she only got to page three. Her gaze is aimed at the view outside. The garden during the warm months is a floral paradise. She likes to leave the window open so the scent of the flowers can enter the room. But all that's growing out there in January is the snow, so the window remains closed.

I manage to cross the room without her noticing. Her eyes are unfocused as she stares out the window. For her to look like this, it can mean only one thing.

"You're thinking awfully hard about something," I point out.

She jumps, wide eyes darting to my face. "Edward! What are you doing up here? I thought you wanted to play your piano."

"I already did. It's after noon now." I dip my head toward the serving tray in my hands. "I brought you lunch."

She frowns slightly while staring at the food. "Thanks, but I'm not really hungry."

"Why not? Is something the matter?"

She opens her mouth but quickly clamps it shut. An odd expression washes over her face before she snaps out of it. "Um. I'm fine," she says. "It's just...will you dance with me?"

I smile. "Of course." I place the tray of food on a table and step over to the sound system. "What song?"

"I don't know. You choose something this time."

I nod and pick a cassette at random. The familiar beat of a drum machine is the first thing we hear. My smile widens. Hall & Oates. They are one of Bella's favorite groups.

I lead her to the center of the room. We sway to the music with our eyes locked and my hand on her waist.

I'll do almost anything that you want me too, yeah,

But I can't go for that, no (No can do)

No, I can't go for that, no (No can do)

I raise my hand to spin her. She stumbles slightly when her foot gets caught on the rug. I grab her elbow to keep her from falling. As soon as I let go, she scrunches her face. "I can't believe I did that," she huffs.

"Don't worry. It was only one small mistake."

I reach for her so we can resume dancing, however she backs out of my reach. She stomps over to the sound system and stops the music. Spinning around, one hand falls to her hip. "We've been dancing together for a year and a half, Edward. I shouldn't be making mistakes like that anymore."

"Says who? No one is perfect."

"Yeah... except for you!"

"I am far from perfect."

"Well, you dance perfectly. You never step on my toes...or screw up your footwork. That's all me."

"You are downplaying how good you really are, Bella. You've learned a lot in very little time. It takes most people years to master what you can do. And the way you move is phenomenal. I've never seen a human as graceful as you."

I am hopeful my honesty will boost her confidence and maybe even make her blush. Instead, my compliment produces the opposite effect. Her entire body sags as she walks away. She flops down in a chair in the corner and frowns again.

"Bella?" I ask worriedly. Her eyes slowly lift from the floor. I seize the moment and direct a question to her. "What's wrong? I could tell something was off with you almost as soon as I walked in here."

She sucks on her bottom lip while staring at me. I don't push her. I remain quiet and wait patiently. A full minute is what it takes for her to talk.

"I've noticed that whenever people compare me to you," she begins softly, "I never quite measure up."

My eyes narrow. "Who's telling you that nonsense? Was it someone in the family?"

I hear a chorus of sounds from downstairs. Esme gasps. Alice tsks in offense. Carlisle sighs. Jasper groans. Emmett stifles a snort of disbelief. And Rosalie mutters "idiot" under her breath.

"No, Edward. It wasn't any of them. They've been nothing but kind to me."

"Then who?"

She shrugs a shoulder. "Doesn't matter. Just some people."

"What people, Bella?" Tell me so I'll know who I need to kill.

"Fine. I'll give you an example. Remember when we went to that night club in Edinburgh?" I nod my head, silently encouraging her to continue. "Well, after we danced for a while, I went to the restroom. While I was in one of the stalls, I overheard a group of girls talking about you and me. They were saying it didn't look like we belonged together."

I remember overhearing that conversation. It was frustrating that I couldn't bust inside of that restroom and give those catty girls a piece of my mind. When Bella returned to me, I tried to do damage control. I suppose my reassurances did not comfort her as much as I would have liked.

"I told you to ignore them," I remind her. "They were bad-mouthing everyone they saw."

"No. Hear me out, Edward. I think they were on to something. I mean...look at yourself and then at me. You look better. You dance better. You even sound better than I do. No wonder they thought that!"

I deepen my gaze, not allowing her to look away. "You are taking a few jealous girls' opinions from months ago and ignoring the vast majority. Most people equipped with functioning brains are aware of how lovely you are."

"But what they said was true. You and I are so different. Humans and vampires weren't made to be around each other so much, and it's affecting the way we live. I think it's time we face the fact that we can't go on like this forever."

"What are you trying to say?" I ask this question calmly, but if my heart were capable of beating, it would have stopped just now. "Are you saying you're ready to... move on from me?"

Her eyebrows knit together. "What?" She must notice the hurt registered on my face because suddenly her mouth parts open. "No! It's nothing like that. I'm not breaking up with you."

I close my eyes in relief. They reopen when I feel her little hand slipping into mine.

"It's just that I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," she continues. "All I want is to be your equal. But, I'll never get to be that as long as I'm stuck like this." She waves her other hand at herself. At my look of confusion, she sighs. "I want you to change me into what you are, Edward."

My eyelids stretch open to the extreme. Out of everything she could have said, never in a million years would I have guessed this.

As I stand here in petrified shock, Emmett breaks the silence. He's chuckling to himself downstairs. "Man, this is gonna be good! You'd think as much as Edward moons over Bella, he would have realized she's been hinting around about what she wants for months. I figured it out last spring when she asked how painful it was when Carlisle bit me."

"I told you Edward isn't too bright," Rosalie remarks without looking away from her soap opera. "The mind-reading is his crutch. Get rid of that power and he's only about half as smart as a bag of hammers."

Jasper turns away from the computer to add his two cents. "Actually - in my opinion - he never noticed the signs because Bella distracts him a lot. They both exude a near constant state of pent-up lust. Maybe if they found an outlet to relieve the sexual tension..."

Esme sucks in a breath. "Jasper! Discussing your brother's love life with others is rude. He's probably uncomfortable with the fact that we all know he and Bella haven't gotten past third base yet."

Jasper nods. "You're right. Sorry Edward!"

I groan, fingers tugging at my hair. My family has blindsided me. Not only have they evidently guessed that Bella wishes to be a vampire and kept quiet about it, they also know more about my private life than I would like. I always assumed they were too happily occupied with their respective spouses at night to pay any attention to what Bella and I were up to in her bedroom.

Damn vampire hearing!

While I'm wallowing in embarrassment, Alice addresses me alone.

Surprise! Isn't this exciting? Look!

Then she allows the vision from earlier to play in its entirety.

Snow falls from above. I see Bella hunched over the corpse of a moose. She straightens up and stares off into the distance, hair blowing in the wind. I am floored by her beauty. Her skin is a flawless milk-white. Her eyes are large and luminous, as always, yet the chocolate brown I know so well is gone.

They have been replaced by the eyes of a newborn.

My attention focuses on her mouth next. It dawns on me that the red "lipstick" I saw earlier is in actuality blood - blood from her kill. It has coated her mouth, making her lips glisten like rubies. A sudden smile lights up newborn Bella's face. A hand - which I recognize as my own - caresses her long neck. Then we're kissing, and it's unlike anything she and I have ever done. My tongue licks the wet blood from her mouth and then plunges inside. To do that with Bella while she is human would likely mean instant death for her. Before I know it, our clothes get ripped to shreds. The fabric pieces give color to the newly fallen snow. Newborn Bella climbs on top to straddle me. I don't resist. We fit together like puzzle pieces. Hips roll sensually. Fingers dig into flesh. She closes her eyes, back arching from pleasure.

I barely can wrap my head around what I am seeing. This version of Edward and Bella have nothing to hold themselves back. They can make love without fear. I can even playfully nip at her neck. She does the same to me. Her teeth leave imprints on my rock-hard skin.

Without warning, the vision slips away, leaving behind only Alice's inner voice.

So...what do you think? Isn't Bella going to be gorgeous? That new body of hers will be a bit more curvy. I can't wait to update her wardrobe! Maybe I can finally convince her to wear a dress that shows off her midriff...

Alice babbling nonsense about clothes helps me to snap back to reality. "No," I grumble, too low and fast for Bella to understand. "Don't bother getting excited because it's not going to happen."

Oh yes it will. Don't even try to argue with me, Edward. This is inevitable. I just showed you your future for cryin' out loud! Bella is going to be one of us, and you're going to be as happy as a clam after it happens. So, you better get used to it, Mister Sourpuss.

She stops her scolding to reveal more visions she has hidden from me: Bella and I scaling up a mountain and stripping the moment we reach the summit. Bella and I writhing together in bliss on the sandy bottom of a secluded lake. Bella and I naked on the floor of a penthouse overlooking Central Park.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to keep my carnal passions in check. Seeing Bella like that is distracting me from what's important: to keep her human. Can't Alice show me at least one vision where Bella and I are fully clothed and not feeling each other up?

The visions cease when Alice begins singing in her head again.

Like a virgin. Oo-oh! Like a vir-GIN. She pauses to giggle. Or in your case, maybe I should change the lyrics to 'Still a virgin'!

I moan. "Shut up, Alice."

Consumed by curiosity, Emmett's head whips around towards our meddlesome sister. "Why is Edward being grumpy with you?"

"Oh you know how he gets sometimes. So touchy! I was only thinking about something kind of funny," she admits.

"What is it? Tell me!"

"Alice..." I say in warning. If she shares with Emmett even one detail of the things she showed me, I swear I will have her blacklisted from her favorite department store. I'm sure they will think twice about letting her shop if I inform them that this little pixie-like girl is in fact an infamous kleptomaniac.

As soon as I make my decision, Alice sucks in a breath at the new vision she sees.

Edward! Don't you dare say that to Bloomingdale's! I'm their best customer! Besides, you should know I would never share such a private vision with a third party. I am always discreet. I was going to tell Emmett something else to appease him. OK?

With my concern put to rest, Alice turns to Emmett. "I was just sitting here doing a little reminiscing. Did you know that Edward could have potentially ruined his chances with Bella if we had moved to Forks?"

"Really? How?" Emmett asks this like an eager child being told a fairytale.

"It's simple. If the four of us had been there, he wouldn't have felt pressured to stay and help out Carlisle and Esme. He would have fled Forks as soon as he realized he might be falling for a human. Then he would have spent months nursing a broken heart. Basically, he would have been super-mega dumb and mopey until he finally gave in to his feelings."

"Ah." Emmett nods in understanding. "Dumb and mopey. So you're saying he would have acted like he always does, right?"

The living room fills with hearty laughter - even Esme joins in, though she at least slaps a hand over her mouth to stop herself. No one else down there feels guilty for finding humor at my expense.

Emmett offers more of his insight. "Seriously though...phew! That would've sucked. Edward was depressing enough back then. I can't imagine it being any worse. I'm glad Bella came along. She's pretty cool for a human. Edward smiles more, and he doesn't act as snooty either. She really helped remove that stick up his ass."

"Not all of it, apparently," Rosalie pipes in. "There's still a big piece wedged up tight in there. We'll have to give Bella a crowbar so she can pry out the rest."

I let loose a growl. I've had enough of their teasing. I need to speak with Bella alone.

"All of you...get out."

Rosalie snorts and aims a smirk at Emmett. "See? Told you. It's in there deep. I'm surprised he can even sit down."

Carlisle folds his newspaper and tosses it on the side table. "That's enough, Rosalie. I suggest we give those two lovebirds up there some privacy. They have a lot to discuss."

"Aww, man!" Emmett whines. "I wanna stay and see what happens."

Rosalie, having slipped on some shoes, rises from the armchair and shuts off the television set. "It'll be the same thing that happens every time they have a disagreement. Bella lays out the facts, and Edward gets his ass handed to him. Nothing new."

"I know but I wanna hear it, Rose. Bella says the funniest stuff sometimes!"

Across the living room, Alice comes up from behind and places her hand on Jasper's shoulder. "Come on, Jazz. We have to go."

He frowns at the computer screen. "I can't leave yet. My wagon just made it to the Snake River. I need to decide if I should hire a ferryman or float across it myself."

"It will still be there when you get back." She leans close to his ear. "I was thinking we could do something else for a while. Doesn't a little Jazzercise sound like more fun than this silly game?"

Jasper's eyes light up. He's out of that chair in record time. Jazzercise is their code word for sex.

I hate that I know this.

Everyone leaves through the back door. Five of them run directly into the forest. Emmett, however, stops midway in the yard and stares at the house.

"Hey! Hells Bells!" he bellows.

Bella grins at the sound of his booming voice and walks to the window.

"Don't make me regret giving you that nickname," he shouts. "Give 'em hell... and tell me the highlights later!"

Bella laughs softly and nods. Pleased by her response, Emmett waves his goodbye and takes off running towards where the others have already disappeared. Bella turns away from the window. Her smile crashes when she sees the agonized look on my face.

"Why, Bella? Why did you keep this a secret from me?"

"It wasn't a secret exactly. It was more like I was waiting for the right time to tell you." Her voice lowers to a near whisper. "I knew you probably wouldn't like it."

I exhale through my nose in an effort to maintain my composure. "And you were correct. I don't like this one bit. Not only is it insane to even contemplate, but you are also too young to go throwing your human life away on something you don't know enough about."

She holds her chin higher. "I'm nineteen. That's a legal adult, Edward. And I've thought long and hard about this. I'm not some stupid little girl that decided to do this on a whim."

"I didn't say that you were. My worry is that you don't fully understand what you are asking for. There are many things about being a vampire that you are not aware of." I bow my head, ashamed to look her in the eyes. "When you lose your human life, you also lose your soul."

"What? Says who?"

"Me."

"I don't believe that. You have a soul, Edward. I see it in your eyes every time you say you love me."

Slowly, I shake my head at her optimistic assessment. "Monsters don't have souls."

"You're no more of a monster than I am." Annoyance fills her voice.

I raise my eyes to her innocent ones. "I am a monster. I have hunted people, Bella. I took many, many lives."

"You hunted the worst of the worst. Society didn't suffer when you got rid of a bunch of criminal lowlifes."

I chuckle darkly for a moment. Bella only sees the good in me, never the bad.

"A human life is a human life, regardless of the moral character of the deceased," I explain to her. "It's been more than fifty years since I walked away from that lifestyle, yet I am still sometimes haunted by the faces of those I killed. Time doesn't lessen the guilt. I don't want you to ever know that kind of misery."

She steps closer, her face softening. "Is that why you don't want to change me?"

"Partly," I admit.

"OK... so, what if I promised you that I would never hurt anyone? Would that make you feel better?"

I drag the palm of my hand down my face. "Bella," I sigh. "It isn't as simple as that. Promises made as a human have nothing to do with the vampire you become. Most newborns live by their instincts - not their conscience. Their first kill is usually made within hours of the change."

"Yeah. I already knew that."

Her casual admission takes me by surprise. "Is that so? And where did you hear this?"

"From Rosalie."

My eyebrows rocket up to my scalp. "Rosalie! Why on earth was she talking about newborns with you?" Ordinarily my sister only watches Bella curiously from the sidelines. They rarely hold conversations with one another. She hasn't quite gotten used to the concept of a human knowing all of our secrets, however she is getting there.

"Well, it all started when I asked Alice what it was like when she was a newborn," Bella confesses. "She was telling me about how hard it was for her to go from hunting people to animals. Rosalie was listening and said that it's easier when the newborn is taught from the very beginning to avoid humans altogether. It gives them time to build up self-control. That strategy must have helped her a lot. She said she's the only one out of Carlisle's children to have never tasted human blood."

Of course. That's why Rosalie decided to talk to Bella. She was bragging about herself.

Rosalie's vanity strikes again.

"When did this conversation occur? I certainly have no memory of it," I say.

"You weren't here. It happened during one of our Girls Only weekends."

"I thought those weekends were for pampering yourselves - not for swapping pointers on how to become a vegetarian vampire!"

Bella shrugs. "We were bored. You can only play around with someone's hair so much before it gets kind of repetitive." She puckers her mouth briefly. "Esme gave some helpful advice too. She said having the right person to guide and support a newborn is essential. They should be compassionate and have mastered their self-control." Bella's eyes seem to grow in size and emotion. "I was hoping you would be that person for me."

I have to turn away from that pleading look before I can do something stupid, like agreeing to this insane request of hers. It's almost second nature for me to give in to what she wants.

I make it to the bookshelf without uttering a sound. Next to her treasured Swan family photograph is a framed picture of the two of us. Esme snapped it while Bella and I were in the garden out back. In the photo, Bella smiles sweetly, her cheeks a becoming shade of pink. The sunshine brings out even more of her natural beauty by exposing the red highlights in her hair. In my eyes, Bella is the personification of everything sacred and wonderful this world has to offer.

Then there's me.

There's a smile on my face in the photograph too, but my happy expression is barely perceptible thanks to my chalk-white, gleaming skin. The sun knows exactly what I am, and it is determined to get the word out. I am cold, unnatural, and a threat to every living creature on this earth.

I am the embodiment of Death.

So, why in heaven's name would anyone - let alone Bella - wish to be like me?

I turn away from the photograph. Bella stands where I left her. "I would do anything for you," I begin solemnly, "and you know that...but this is too much to ask. It goes against all of my beliefs. What reason could you possibly have that would warrant ending your human life?"

"I have loads of them."

"Such as?"

She begins playing with the locket around her neck, twisting the pendent between her fingers. "Umm...if I became a vampire, what I look like would change, right? That would be great for me. I wouldn't have to worry about being recognized as that 'missing Swan girl from Forks' ever again."

"A layer of makeup and a different hairstyle would accomplish the same thing," I say. "Next."

She's quiet, but only for a few seconds. Her face lights up once she comes up with something else. "I wouldn't make your throat burn anymore."

I cock my head in utter disbelief. "My comfort in exchange for your eternal damnation? Unacceptable."

"OK. Fine. How about it would make the entire family more comfortable, then. It's annoying how everyone has to constantly watch out for me. As soon as their eyes get even a shade darker, they're scrambling to go hunting. And it's worse for poor Jasper. He refuses to come any closer than ten feet from me. Sometimes I even catch him holding his breath when I'm in the same room with him!"

"No one in this house expects for you to have yourself changed just to accommodate their own hunger problems. And Jasper has been working on his control and is doing much better. It will get easier for him as time goes on." I lift an eyebrow. "Anything else?"

"Yes. How about I'm tired of being a burden to you."

My gaze sharpens. "I have never thought of you as a burden."

"I know you don't think so." She jabs her thumb into her chest. "But I do. You seem to think you have to protect me every second of the day. That isn't fair. You deserve to take a break, and the only way that's going to happen is if you know I can take care of myself."

She steps forward into my personal space. Her arms slide around my neck. "I want to run on my own two feet alongside you instead of being carried. I want to hunt with you instead of being left behind at the house. I want to stay up all night and watch the sun rise with you instead of sleeping. When we dance, I want to be able to keep up with you instead of holding you back." Standing on the tips of her toes, her lips come within an inch of mine. "But most of all, I just want you - in every way possible."

The way her voice dropped seductively makes it crystal clear what she is referring to. She and I have done nearly every intimate act a couple can do... except for the ultimate one.

"You know why we haven't done that yet, Bella," I say faintly.

"Not really. All I know is that you and I have been 'practicing' for more than a year and a half. I think that makes us experts in the art of foreplay. How much longer will it be before we can advance further?"

"I'm not sure."

Her arms fall from around my neck and land by her sides. "You said that we would try...not get stuck in a rut! Just when it seems like we're finally getting somewhere, you pull back and say you don't think you're ready yet." She puffs out her cheeks to relieve the stress. Her voice is calmer than before. "Look... I understand there's a lot of pressure on you. You're scared you might lose control and hurt me. But, there's a simple solution that would fix all of this. If I was a vampire like you, we could..."

"Stop!" I groan.

I want to keep her from saying anything that might feed my imagination. Of course, it's too late. The thought has been planted.

Bella as a vampire.

I have already seen how it could be for us if I were to agree to what she wants. No more feeling like an ember is caught in the back of my throat when I kiss Bella. No more worrying about being too rough with her. No more fears of accidentally biting and draining her of life while in the throes of passion.

Thanks to Alice's vision, I can easily picture Bella over, under, and spooned to the side of me. We could be with one another in ways we once could only dream about. Open-mouthed kisses to her entire body. Our limbs tangled together underneath the sheets. Her sigh would be like an old love song as I enter her. We would forget about the outside world for a few hours...or days, perhaps. The love nest we created wouldn't be something we would want to leave anytime soon.

The very idea excites me beyond belief. Yet, it also leaves me disgusted with myself. Bella is sweet and warm, and she fills everyone's existence she meets with immeasurable joy. To take away her human life would be loathsome; to do it with the intention of taking her innocence would be blasphemous. It would be like capturing an angel, ripping off their wings, and forcing them to become a demon.

I try to shake the dangerous fantasy of Bella as a vampire out of my head. It's stubborn. Arousing images of her with golden eyes and gorgeous marble skin refuse to leave. I am forced to think about sickening, unpleasant things just to get my mind elsewhere.

The hole in the ozone layer.

Tape players that eat your cassettes.

Pee-Wee Herman.

Parachute pants.

Pee-Wee Herman in parachute pants.

Ah. That's better. Fantasy gone.

With my thoughts under better control, I gaze into a set of chocolate brown eyes. "I've lived eighty-five years without sex, Bella. I think we both can wait a little longer before we go all the way. I need more time to prepare. In a year or so I'm sure I will be ready."

That same set of eyes I am staring into stretches open. "You expect for us to go another year without doing it? Shit, Edward. You're going to give me a heat stroke long before then!"

I chuckle at her exaggeration. "Need I remind you that I am very willing and able to please you in other ways." I place my mouth at that spot behind her ear that never fails to drive her wild. Very carefully, I suck on her skin, making sure my jaw remains locked tight. It produces the desired effect. Bella's breathing grows heavy. Her eyes roll into the back of her head. She even shivers when my hands begin roaming over her body. "I promise to keep you so busy, you won't notice how much time has gone by," I murmur into her skin. "A year is nothing."

I feel her stiffen. Suddenly, she tears herself away until several feet separates us. She pants to catch her breath. "But wouldn't it...be easier...if you went ahead...and changed me?"

Another frown conquers my face. My attempt at distracting her failed.

"Just because changing you might make some things easier, it doesn't mean it's the right thing to do," I reply. "Why would you want to give up your freedom to live like a freak of nature for all of eternity? That's no life! Right now you can do so much. You can go shopping in a crowded mall. You could ride into town and have dinner in a nice restaurant. And, if you wanted to, we could hop on a plane and pick up our tour of Europe right where we left off. Do you honestly believe you could do any of that if you were to become a newborn?"

She ticks off a finger for each point I brought up. "Alice does most of the shopping since I don't like malls all that much, so that's no big loss. I wouldn't need to have dinner in a restaurant if I was a vampire. And I'm pretty sure Europe will still be there if we don't go back this spring like we planned. If I live forever, I can visit it any time I want."

I frown at the way she dismissed the point I was making. "What about Brown? We were going to start there in the fall. For heaven's sake, we already have a house in Providence waiting for us. Are you really going to give up the chance of attending an Ivy League university?"

"Oh yeah...about that. I've been doing some figuring. See, if we started the transformation process today, I would have eight whole months to get ready for Brown."

I rub at my eyes using my thumb and forefinger, like a human who has a headache coming on. "It takes most of us years to build up that kind of resistance, Bella," I say wearily. "I shudder to imagine an eight month old newborn on a campus of roughly ten thousand students. That is a recipe for disaster."

"I know it would be hard, but I want to try. If in eight months I'm not ready, fine. Going to a university will just have to be put on hold for a while longer. But if I am ready, well... I'll have you nearby just in case I need help. I know you would prevent me from having any accidents."

I crack one eye open. "What makes you think I would be willing to do that?"

"Because that's what mates do. They support each other's decisions - even if they don't necessarily agree with them one hundred percent."

This perks up my ears. "Mates? Who told you about mates?"

"Esme." Her eyes narrow at the scowl forming on my face. "Don't even get mad about it, Edward. Esme told me all about it the day you fought James, and I appreciated her telling me the truth." She folds her arms and continues to stare me down. "And now that we're on the topic of mates, that brings up another reason why I should be changed. Esme said that vampires who have lost their mates barely function. It must be true. Just look what happened to me when I thought I had lost you forever! I turned into a vegetable. The depression was so terrible, I couldn't do anything. So, what about when I die, Edward?"

A heaviness settles in my chest at the mere mention of her dying. "I would never let anything bad happen to you," I answer.

She huffs a scoffing laugh. "That isn't how life works and you know it. Humans die. No matter how much you protect me, one day something bad will come along and you won't be able to stop it. I might catch a fatal disease. I might tumble down the stairs when you're not around and break my neck. Heck, I might even slip in the bathtub and drown! There are literally hundreds of ways I might die. What will you do after I'm gone? Sit in the corner and suffer just like I did?"

I wince. "You're right. I can't protect you from everything." She smiles triumphantly. "There will come a day when you are too old and weak to go on. I don't like dwelling on that happening to you, Bella, but you should know I have already made a decision on what I will do after you are gone. I plan on asking Jasper and Emmett to assist me so I can follow right after you. If I argue my case well enough, I'm sure one of them will agree and show me mercy."

There is a long pause. Her face twists. It looks like she is on the verge of being sick.

"Are...are you saying that you would commit suicide if I died?" she croaks.

"Yes."

Her expression changes in a snap. A fire in her eyes ignites but her voice remains remarkably calm. "That is the dumbest thing you have ever said...and that's saying something."

"What else would you have me do? Live alone and miserable until the end of time?" I grunt back.

"If you change me, you won't be alone or miserable," she counters. Her index finger pokes hard into my abdomen. "I am not going to be the reason why you hurt the family. It would break Esme and Carlisle's hearts if you offed yourself. I cannot believe you would be so selfish!"

"What would be more selfish of me is if I changed you into a vampire just because I was damned to be one. I am perfectly fine with you living out the remainder of our time together on this earth as a happy, healthy human."

"Well I'm not fine with it anymore. And it wouldn't be selfish of you to change me if it's what I want."

I raise my finger in contradiction. "No. You think you want this life because you are looking at it through rose colored glasses. You fail to see its many downsides. Just know that if I changed you, you would be giving up everything to become a walking corpse."

She tightens her fists at her sides, making her entire body shake. "Ugh! You are not a corpse! And I won't be one either. To me, you're more alive than anyone I know."

"I'm not alive in the ways that count," I mumble.

"What do you mean?"

I slip my hands into my front pockets and hang my head low. "I am referring to the fact that, one day in the future, you will want to start a family. Having children is out of the question once you become a vampire. Your body freezes, making reproduction impossible. This is one thing that I will never be able to give you." I alter my voice to sound positive. "There are other ways, of course, for you to have a child as long as you remain human. Sperm donors and such. So, all hope isn't lost."

Her nose wrinkles like a rabbit's. "I won't be needing any 'donations'. And where did you get this idea that I want kids? I've never said anything about them as far as I can remember."

"I know. But Rosalie was around your age when she was turned, and she has said many times that losing her chance at motherhood was what hurt her the most. It wasn't until Emmett came along that she was able to find some happiness again. I wouldn't want you to end up in her shoes."

Bella's expression loses some of its irritation. "I've heard her mention before that she wanted kids, and I am very sorry that she can't have what she wants. But, Edward, there is something you need to keep in mind: I'm not Rosalie. I don't want, never have wanted, nor will I ever want to have children. Yeah, I admit they're cute as can be despite the fact they throw temper tantrums, projectile vomit at the worst possible times, and demand adult supervision 24/7." She shakes her head. "That lifestyle isn't for me."

"So you say now. Just wait ten, fifteen years. You'll have wished you had remained human."

She tilts her head, her eyes searching my face. "Did that happen to you? Are you saying you want kids?"

"Not exactly. I'm OK either way. I only want what you want."

"Good," she says with a decisive nod. "I want you to change me."

I grumble under my breath. Bella is the most obstinate being I have ever met.

"Have you not listened to a word I've said?" I ask her, just barely keeping my cool. "Giving up your humanity would be the greatest mistake you have ever made. I will not allow you to throw your life away."

Her eyebrows raise. "Excuse me? Allow? Do you even hear yourself right now? You sound exactly like my dad."

"And what do you mean by that?" I say in offense.

She sighs and shakes her head, as though it should be obvious. "My dad dictated my life in the name of protecting me from everything. I couldn't drive, couldn't dance - I couldn't even live like a normal person because he thought he knew what I needed more than I did. I felt so...confined. Now I live with you and I can do what I want. You've made me incredibly happy - happier than I've ever been - and I love you all the more for what you've done for me. But, you need to understand that this is my life and my decision to make. And, most importantly, you are not my father and I am not your child. You have no right to say what I can or cannot do."

Her expression mellows. It's warm and tender, sending heat into my dead heart. "I've spent the last year thinking things over," she says gently, "and this is what I want. So - for what feels like the hundredth time I've said this - I want you to change me. Make me a Cullen."

Her sincerity almost breaks my resolve. My selfish side is ready to throw in the towel and agree to what she wants. In panic, I dredge up the very last objection I can think of.

"Humans are notoriously fickle," I say nervously. "They change their minds at the drop of a hat. Losing your human life to become a vampire is something that can't be reversed...and forever is a long time to regret your decision. Sorry if this is upsetting, but I can't in good conscience do that to you."

The room goes dead silent. Bella's eyes harden into diamonds. If I wasn't bulletproof and immortal, I would genuinely fear for my life.

In one swift movement, she grabs the hem of her sweater and pulls it over her head. She's left in a thin white camisole shirt that shows off more cleavage than it actually covers. Gathering her long brown hair to one side, her throat is left on full display. Her jugular vein pulsates underneath her skin. The sight makes my mouth fill with venom.

This is something she is very much aware of.

She steps closer, her gaze determined and her neck exposed.

"Edward...Bite. Me."

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A/N-

Bite me /baɪt mi/ - Slang expression popularized during the '80s which conveys discontent or aggravation towards another person. Or, in this instance, could it possibly mean something more?

Songs Used In This Chapter-

Like A Virgin by Madonna. Fun fact: This hit song is sometimes used to tease vampires who are afraid of going past third base with their human girlfriends.

I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) by Hall & Oates. Daryl Hall's fabulous mullet combined with John Oates' badass mustache made them icons of the decade. (Plus they were gifted musicians, which I suppose helped a lot career wise too.)

Next Chapter- Do you like happy endings? Sure, we all do. This story is going to be put to rest '80s style.

Thanks for reading! :-)