The Gift

I woke to the caws of the neighbor's rooster just as I had every other morning. I shifted over and rolled into a standing position to stretch before hearing Mamă's voice.

"Lipa! Are you awake?"

Of course I was; that was why she called me. She could decipher every creak in my bed to determine my state of consciousness. I sighed, knowing what came next.

"Yes, Mamă."

"Good. Hurry and get dressed! I'm sure Daria's hungry."

"Yes, Mamă."

After rubbing my neck and staring into the mirror, trying to wrangle my hair into a bun, I scrunched my nose.

"Shouldn't I be returning saddles?"

"Well, everyone else can wait. I think Daria takes precedence, don't you?"

Daria always took precedence for me. But normally my job came first, then time with Daria. I pondered what Mamă was up to but shrugged it off as her giving me some leeway after a busy week.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed the bucket by the door. Mamă wasn't preparing breakfast. I scrunched my nose again, but knew she had to be close. I walked out to the stables, the apples jostling in the bucket.

"Dariaaaa?" I sang out.

Her white and brown speckled head popped up from behind her stall door. I giggled as I went to stroke her mane.

"Hi, girl! You hungry?"

Daria's lips curled when I raised an apple from the bucket. I placed my palm out, letting her take every bite she wanted.

"What do you think Mamă's up to? Think she's got some trick up her sleeve?"

Daria just kept happily nibbling, leaving me to answer my own question. I gave her one last pat before taking the apple core away.

"Lipa? Can you come here please?" Mamă called.

It was only sunrise, and she was already running me around. I sighed and returned to the house after throwing the leftover apple to the neighbor's chickens. I placed the bucket back and rinsed my hands in the sink. A pair of hands gently covered my eyes.

"Close your eyes!" Mamă said hurriedly.

"Fine, fine!" I obeyed, replacing her hands with my own as she led me by the arm. In just a few steps, she instructed me again.

"Annnnd… open!"

On the table in front of me lay a small, round, chocolate frosted cake. Fresh cut strawberries adorned the rim with a pillow of whipped cream underneath each. Two candles burned in the center, flickering with the breeze.

"Happy birthday, my little angel!"

It was my 20th birthday. I had completely forgotten.

"Aw, thank you!" I hugged Mamă before turning back to admire her gift (well, the first of her many gifts).

"Make a wish," Mamă urged as she walked to the other side of the table.

I leaned closer to the candles, taking a moment to think of the perfect wish. There was so much I wanted at the time, but I managed to simplify it all to just one sentence. I blew out the candles to Mamă's applause. And then, for the first time, she asked me a question I thought was forbidden since childhood.

"What did you wish for?" Her eyes were intense. Each of her hands held the other.

I took a moment to see if she would take it back. When she kept staring at me, I obliged, smiling.

"I wished to explore the world with you someday."

Truly, at that time, all I ever wanted was to stay by Mamă's side and see the outside. The wish wasn't exclusive to that year. We had lost Tată just three years before. The pain of that loss taught me to never take anything for granted. I never wanted to lose anyone else. If making a wish upon burning candles once a year was enough to guarantee that Mamă and I would be together and we would get out of that hick village, that was more than enough for me. I knew that there would be hardships in life and leaving would be next to impossible, but all I needed was her.

After hearing me recite my wish, Mamă's face faltered. She tried to recover by forcing a smile and turning her back to me.

"Mamă?"

She wiped her face with her sleeve before turning to me with a giggle. "Sorry, just… realizing how grown you've gotten. Or maybe I'm realizing how old I've gotten?" She laughed again before grabbing a knife from the counter and cutting a slice of cake. "Now, eat up and enjoy." Grabbing her satchel and hat, she made for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?"

Mamă paused in the doorway. "Just heading to church. I won't be long."

"OK…"

Why, of all days, did she insist on going to church? For the past month, Mamă had amped her church visits from only Sunday mornings to every morning of the week. I thought she would make an exception for her only daughter's birthday. I was naïve to think her faith was lower than me.

But I did take her advice and savored the cake alone as I listened to the laundry sway on the line out the window. The love seeping in each bite thawed my frigidity towards Mamă's absence. It was rare that we were afforded such delicacies. I felt guilty for judging her.

Then, the sound of horse hooves approached the house.

"Good morning! Anyone home?"

It was the unmistakable voice of the Duke. I set my fork down and rushed to the door.

"Duke! How are you this morning?"

"Ah, Ms. Tarnicerin! I'm doing well! Hope I'm not interrupting anything important?"

"No, no, not at all! Is everything all right? Benjamin's not too tired from pulling you around, is he?" I gave Benjamin's neck a stroke, causing him to playfully nip me.

"Everything is in perfect order. You and your mother's craftsmanship are exquisite as always."

"Then you came to peddle your own services?"

Duke chuckled. "Come now, Lipa, I'm not so crude as to barter goods on such a special day. I came to bring a gift your mother commissioned for you."

After reaching back into his carriage, Duke held out the journal I'm using now. The black binding was embellished with an embroidered rose complete with thorny vines. The cover was closed with a small clasp. I snapped it open, eager to feel the pages in my hand. I found a note on the first page:

To my dearest Lipa,

Duke has been short on roses as of late and I was worried you would get tired of the same old bouquet. So, I told him about your third favorite hobby. I pray that this journal may give you the

space necessary to lift your burdens. Tell it all the things that you cannot tell others.

Love,

Mamă

"Happy Birthday, Ms. Tarnicerin." Duke smiled.

"I… Thank you, Duke." I couldn't stop feeling the leather in my hands. I flipped the pages back and forth, back and forth… It must've been a relief for Mamă to know I would no longer need to use her spare cloth as a writing pad.

"Lipa… Forgive me if I speak out of turn, but I feel compelled to warn you."

"Warn me?"

"Do you have any regrets? Anything that you wish to tell your mother?"

Regrets? Not once in my life had I ever stopped to think about regrets. After all, what did I have to be sorry for? But when Duke asked that question, I couldn't help but get the same sinking feeling that I got when Tată died.

Surely there was nothing I needed to say to Mamă that hadn't already been said. I even told her my dearest wish. Wasn't that enough?

"…No. I've told her everything."

"I see… Then you'll be ready for what comes next. Take care, Lipa."

Just as promptly as Duke arrived, he rode away. Benjamin's hooves clopped along, becoming a distant, almost melancholy sound. Duke's words swam in my head as I went back inside and carefully set my journal on my bed.

That's when I noticed; sitting next to my door frame was a suitcase. Normally, it just sat in the corner of my room. I hadn't remembered moving it. Maybe Mamă had moved it aside when she was cleaning? Upon closer inspection, I decided to lift it. One arm didn't suffice as it usually did; the suitcase was inexplicably filled.

Dumbfounded, I checked the house for Mamă to inquire about the matter, but she was still at "church". The sinking feeling dug deeper into my soul. In an attempt to shake it off, I went out to the stables and grabbed my saddle. Mamă would scold me for not delivering the lineup of saddles near the workbench, but…

"You could use a walk too, couldn't you, Dari? Besides, it's my special day. The customers can wait."

Daria neighed, watching me. I placed the saddle on the side of her stall and grabbed the pick from her bin. As I adjusted the latch to open the door, I heard voices… awfully close voices.

"Please, my lord, you must take her! She's my only child, all I have left!" Mamă.

A deep voice responded. "If she's your only child, then why've you done such a piss poor job protecting her? And if she was really all you had, then you wouldn't have anything else to give, right?"

I had never heard that man's voice before. But it was a voice I'd be forced to grow accustomed to. I gently put Daria's pick on the ground and scurried toward the back door. Through the door frame, I could see Mamă's back.

"I swear, I've offered all I can give! If that won't suffice, then… then you can take my life as your price!" Mamă… Those words sent a shiver down my spine.

The other figure came into view, his gaze fixed on Mamă. Another chill. Before that moment, I had only ever seen his picture. It was pinned up on the church altar along with Mother Miranda and her other three children. The hat, the glasses, the hammer… it all rang up to be the man I'd heard so many rumors about.

He took a puff of his cigar, laughing. "What a tear-jerking display. Really, I'm touched. …Y'know what, why not?" He sent his cigar to the ground before grinding it into the dust with his boot. He lowered his voice and moved closer to Mamă. "But you better keep your end of the deal. I want the full payment… minus your life. I don't have any use for that."

"Thank you… thank you, my lord!" Mamă looked as if she would crumble in front of him. "L-Lipa! Lipa, come quickly!"

I was frozen. What was Mamă talking to a man like that for? Why was she talking about me in such mysterious terms? The sinking feeling spread to my whole body, making me tremble.

"Lipa! Oh, for Miranda's sake, now isn't the time for games, child!" Her tone was the most frantic I'd heard in a long time. She sped through the house and lifted my suitcase to the front door. I couldn't keep her waiting. Lord Heisenberg was pacing now. If it was her head or mine, I preferred it be mine.

"Mamă?" I finally forced myself to emerge.

"Lipa!" She dropped the luggage before grabbing my face with her hands and kissing my forehead. She pulled me into a hug. "You're gonna go with Lord Heisenberg, all right?"

"…What? Mamă, what're you−?"

"He's taking you with him. Be a good girl and do whatever he says, all right?"

"But why? This doesn't make any sense!"

"Lipa, don't argue! Just… just go with him! Please!" Mamă's eyes were streaming with tears now, her voice breaking, hands in prayer. Heisenberg was watching me behind his shades. The smirk on his face put a pit in my stomach. I wanted to vomit.

"O-OK… OK, Mamă… Just give me a moment." I returned to my room and snatched my journal, holding it to my chest. "I… I wanna bring Daria too."

Heisenberg's eyebrows furrowed.

"Her horse," Mamă explained.

His smirk came back. "Sure. It might make a good assistant, too."

I rushed to the back and gathered Daria's supplies into a satchel. I tacked her up and urged her to the front by her bridle.

Mamă clung to me with all her might. "I love you, Lipa. I know it may not seem like it, but this is for your own good, I swear."

Tears fell from my eyes to mirror Mamă's. She took her thumb and wiped them away before kissing my hand.

"All right, time to hit the road." Heisenberg turned away from my home. I attached a cart to Daria and slung my luggage inside. I kept the journal in one hand as I mounted her. As she started to walk, I turned around to get what I thought would be the last look at Mamă. But she was already gone.