Stepping Out

Per Heisenberg's instructions, I went to the building at sunrise. His face was stuck in a scowl. Maybe he was still irked about Daria's protest from the night before.

"Put those on." He pointed to a pile of clothes on the table. They were… far different from anything I'd ever worn.

"Are these… yours?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course not," he scoffed. "They're just… look, just stop asking questions."

That we could agree on. I went off to another room and changed before coming back.

"Take this." Heisenberg handed me a small black device. "It's a radio," he explained, preceding my confused look, "Hold the button on the side and talk into it if you need to reach me. If I need something from you, you'll hear me loud and clear. Knob on the top right's for volume. Don't bother with the other one."

"OK."

"Now listen carefully; you're gonna go into the village and grab me something. Nothing major."

Me? Go into the village? Was I finally getting permission to leave that metal hell? The words couldn't have been sweeter.

"Stick to the route I give you: no detours, no distractions. And try not to be seen. You'll only cause trouble for both of us if you are."

That explained the clothes… and meant no trip home.

"Got all that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Then get going."

I wasn't allowed to take Daria (Heisenberg brought it up before I could even ask). I worried that he was thinking of retaliating after the incident from the fire, but he assured me she wouldn't be touched. Maybe he'd learned his lesson.

The route almost didn't touch the village at all. While I couldn't roam around freely, I could at least get some fresh air. Seeing the landscape and houses I recognized was serene. Seeing faces I recognized was agonizing. The urge to greet them tempted me away from my objective.

But you don't really like them.

Damn that man. He was playing me like a violin. Maybe his objective all along was to isolate me away from the others. But why? No, I wouldn't go down that rabbit hole of questions again. I wouldn't suffer another headache trying to puzzle what his intentions were. For now, I would play the part of a good, faithful servant. In due time, I would figure out what I wanted to do: stay obedient or go my own way. So, I stuck to Heisenberg's route. Turned out it led to a house that had been abandoned after a fire.

"You get lost, buttercup?"

I almost yelped at the disembodied voice. I grunted as I grabbed the radio from my waist.

"No. Just…"

"…Just?"

"… Never mind."

"Well, if you're not lost, then you should see what I'm talking about. There's a typewriter on the desk in the back corner of the foundation."

"Yeah… yeah, I see it."

"Good. Bring it back to me. Oh, and try not to drop it. It won't feel good on your feet."

How he expected me to carry that heavy thing back by myself was beyond me. Considering the length of the trip, I wouldn't have been surprised if my arms gave out before I could deliver it. Once I picked it up, the radio buzzed again.

"You got it?"

I rolled my eyes.

"… I'll take your silence as a yes."

How intuitive.

"I bet you're feeling peachy right now, aren't you? Out on your own again, seeing the people you were forced to talk to everyday?"

Yes, "peachy" was a perfect way to describe how I felt. And "forced" was a strong word. Sure, it was expected that everyone in the village was courteous to each other, but that didn't mean everyone was. Anton never once said a kind word when I passed him.

"Don't you wanna thank me for freeing you from that place? Oh, it's OK; take your time. I know you're busy."

Yes, thank you, Lord Heisenberg, my savior, the man I owe my life to.

"If you keep this up, I might even consider granting you one wish."

I stopped. My whole body numbed as the weight of the typewriter absorbed into my arms.

Heisenberg laughed. "I'm kidding, of course. Although I would love to hear what that wish would be some time… y'know, as a hypothetical. I'm curious."

I loathed how much he was enjoying this. I prayed that someone, anyone, would give me a front row seat to watch him get knocked down a peg or three.

After I made it back to the factory and dropped the typewriter off, my arm muscles seized. It took some effort to coax them into functioning again.

"Nice work," Heisenberg said as he examined it.

"…Thanks."

"Oh, don't look at me like that. Admit it; you had a little fun."

Ah, yes, fun.

"It… was nice to stretch my legs," I said.

He smirked. "Well, since you behaved yourself, I'll let you do it again, say… once a week. The rest of the week you're stuck here. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

"The route won't be the same every time. You might even have to leave later to avoid being seen."

"Yes, sir."

"Eager, aren't we?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

"Oh, c'mon. Don't tell me you're that sick of me already?"

I stayed silent. Another impossible question.

"That's it for today. Go do… whatever it is you do."

"…Lord Heisenberg?"

"You can drop the… the 'Lord' business. I think we've known each other long enough."

"OK… Heisenberg?"

"What?"

"…Thank you. For letting me leave."

That stoic expression came back. "Save it. Gratitude's wasted on me."

Per the agreement, I left Heisenberg's factory once a week. I dressed in the same clothes as the first time and kept a low profile. I saw other people, but they never saw me. The items I obtained were inconsequential: a collection of Grimm's fairy tales, some cigars, paper, some of the wooden goats lying around, etc. What Heisenberg wanted with any of it was beyond me. For all I knew, this was just busy work. I didn't care. Any excuse to let me out was good enough for me. He even let me keep some of the items for myself when he was in a good mood. Occasionally, he would bug me if he knew I was going somewhere that wasn't densely populated. His voice became background noise after a point. But sometimes it would keep me entertained.

One night, I slipped. I broke one of Heisenberg's stipulations for letting me out. I couldn't help myself. I had to risk it, just that once.

You see, I saw a friend I'd known since childhood. We practically grew up as siblings. In fact, his parents are the ones who gifted Daria to me for my tenth birthday. She was just a foal then, barely able to walk. The family bred horses and saw my bright eyes gleaming at each one every time I went to visit. I was the first one in my family to own a horse. Just because we were saddlers didn't mean we knew how to take care of horses. Tată and Mamă put together the funds to build a small stable for Daria when they learned what the family meant to do for me. My friend was thrilled too; we would finally be able to go on rides together. He taught me everything I needed to know about caring for Daria and how to maintain the stable. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't have turned out as well as she did.

On the night of my transgression, it had been a month since I started going on "grocery" trips for Heisenberg. I was going close to the heart of the village, but since it was so dark, no one would be out and about to see me. And that's when I saw him. Correction: that's when I heard him.

He was singing to himself, his voice raising and lowering fickly. My first instinct was to hide in accordance with Heisenberg's instructions. But then I heard a loud thud and the lament of the boy.

I rounded the corner, looking at him before approaching further. He stumbled to his feet, a bottle gripped in his right hand. He was drunk, so I wouldn't have to worry about him recognizing me. But…

"Oskar?"

The boy slowly turned to me, his eyes glazed. A smile spread across his face, and he pointed at me with a lazy finger.

"Hey! Hey, it's… uh…" Oskar scratched his forehead before pointing at me again. "Ffffffrrrrrraaaannnnkkkk?" At each consonant, he checked my facial expression to see if I gave any hints. I just smiled and nodded. He pumped his free fist in the air.

"Yes! See? I wouldn't forget you ol' buddy ol' pal."

"It's good to see you, Oskar. How have you been?"

"Me? Oh, y'know, just, hangin' out, y'know how it is… feedin' horshes, groomin' horshes, building horshes…"

"Wow. That sounds like a lot of work." I stopped myself from giggling. Really, I wanted to cry. I hated that those were the circumstances we had to meet under, but I was thankful I could talk to someone I cherished.

"Yup… yup, yup, yup, it's quite the load… and y'know what else, man," he stumbled over to me, almost face planting again. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "I… I kinda miss… I kinda miss the old days, y'know? When we were just kids, and we could run around and do whatever we wanted without our parents gettin' in our faces about 'you gotta get the work done'! 'Mrs. Dalca will be angry with you if you don't feed her horshe'! And…"

Oskar scanned my face. He squinted his eyes at me. Even the hat couldn't conceal my visage with him that close.

"Wait a second… you're…" He took a step back, his finger pointing at me again. The bottle shook as his face lit up. "LIPA!"

He threw his arms around me, almost spilling his drink on the back of my shirt. I quickly glanced around. Luckily, we were just far enough away that no one could hear the commotion.

"Oh my god… oh my god, Lipa! Where… where have you been?! Everyone's been worried sick about you! And your mother! Oh… oh, your poor mother… she's taken on all that work all by herself! Where have you been? We all thought you died, but your mother, she − she insisted, y'know? She insisted that you were just going out for a little bit. We thought she meant that you were gone gone, but of course you weren't! I mean, we all know Mother Miranda," he looked to the sky for a moment as if he expected to be struck by lightning, "would've had some stern words about that. So… so where'd you go? What took ya so long?"

Everyone else, worried? About me? That had to be an exaggeration…

"Oskar… Oskar, I'm… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone, really. I just… had some things to take care of."

"Oh… oh, OK. Well, are they… taken care of?"

"No. No, not yet. But soon… hopefully."

"Oh… oh, OK." He took a sip of his drink. "It's… real lonely, y'know?"

"I know, Oskar."

"You'll come back soon, right?"

"As soon as I can."

He smiled and hiccupped. "Good. …Hey, while you're here, can you… can you help me with somethin'?"

"Sure."

"I just… I was…" he made a circle motion with his arm, "around earlier, and I couldn't help but notice somethin' was just a little off with this well." He approached the well's stone perimeter. I watched him curiously from a small distance.

"What do you mean?"

"I just… I just kept hearing this noise, y'know? Like there's somethin' down there? But – but that's not possible right? I mean…" He blew a raspberry, "There's no way there's something down there, right?"

"Right. Oskar, will you come here, please?" The ledge was too close to him for comfort.

"Shhhh," he held his hand up towards me and looked around for a second. "You hear that?" he loudly whispered.

…Silence.

"Oskar, I think you're hearing things."

"Pffft, no I'm not! Here, see? I'll show you!"

Oskar leaned closer to the well, his torso dangerously close to the center.

"Oskar, wait−"

"It's down there, Lipa, I know it is! See, see? It's just down−" As he leaned forward for a closer look, he lost his balance and fell headfirst. A half second later, glass shattered.

"Oskar!"

I ran to the well's edge. There was no sign of him. When I looked down at the moonlit hole, his head was submerged, his feet barely above the surface. There was no motion other than the unsettled water. Tears welled in my eyes as I slowly backed away.

"Oskar…"

Who could I tell? How would his family ever know? I couldn't risk giving myself up, but… wasn't this more important? Wasn't there something I could do? The eerie silence was enough to drive me mad. Hadn't anyone heard? Why didn't someone, anyone, hear what had happened?!

The coward in me won out. I didn't want to be there anymore. My heart felt like it was made of iron as I made my way back to the factory with whatever item Heisenberg had requested. When I brought it to the building, Heisenberg barely glanced at it. He locked on me.

"What's wrong?"

Tears had been running down my cheeks since the shock evaporated and reality sunk in. I choked on my words.

"I… I watched someone…"

Heisenberg gave me the courtesy of not interrupting.

"My friend… Oskar… he fell… down the well… H-He didn't… know what he was doing, he was drunk, and I should've…!"

I clenched my fists, not willing to go further. Why was I telling Heisenberg this? He couldn't change what happened. But my heart cried out for someone else to know, and he was the only person I was allowed to talk to.

He looked to the side. A beat later, he just said, "Tough luck."

I went back to the barn and told Daria about what happened too. At least she seemed sympathetic. We grieved together in the solace of the barn with the moon as our blanket.

The next time I was allowed out, I checked the well in secret. I crept my head over the edge and squinted in the darkness. But all I saw was the black water resting at the bottom.