A New Life

I exited the carriage, luggage in hand. And there was… what the Duke told me. Something not dissimilar to the village, at first glance. It was a forest, deep and wide. Mountains loomed on the horizon. A castle, not quite as ominous as Castle Dimitrescu, hung on a hill. I would have to wait until I got further down the path to see the rest of it. Benjamin carried the Duke and his carriage back toward the village as I gave a small wave.

What greeted me once I walked to the city was more than what anyone could have prepared me for. The buildings were large and sturdy with the utmost care put into the architecture. Cars zipped up and down the road. Lights flashed constantly, noise filling the air. Even with the Duke's instructions, I felt hopelessly lost. Everything was moving impossibly fast. Everyone was dressed in strange clothes, holding small electric devices. There were no wells, no outhouses, no fields growing crops. The many stares I gave other people were given back to me in kind. Was this city one of a kind, or was every other one like it? I was too scared to ask. As scary as my arrival was, I am forever grateful that I ended up in Munich and not a city in America. The way the buildings tower into the sky like malicious giants in that country horrifies me.

After the culture shock wore down, I managed to gather the courage to speak with the locals. Luckily, they were kind enough to answer my questions. Many seemed unsettled by how out of touch I was with everything, how I winced at every new device I encountered. Thankfully, I remembered to keep my metal arm hidden at all times. The last thing I needed was that kind of attention on top of everything else.

Once I made it to a hotel, I asked about where I could find a job. The money Duke gave me only covered the costs of food and a living space for a few weeks.

"Don't you have a phone?" the man at the front desk asked.

"Well, in the room, yes."

The man just furrowed his eyebrows at me.

I practically begged him to help me. I even gave him a list of my skills that would prove useful to an employer. As it turns out, there's no need for saddlers in a city. However, after a short search on his phone, he told me that the trades were my best bet. The type of engineering I knew wasn't quite up to modern standards, but it was enough to get me into an auto shop. It would have to do.

And that's how I entered this city: a young woman from a hick village in a foreign country named Emma Stark. Not only did I have to give up my family and friends, but even my identity couldn't stay with me. My essence as a person has remained, but everything from my past had to be erased from the public eye. Duke said it was just a precaution in case someone came looking for me. Part of me wanted to just use my real name. Who would look for me all the way out here? But Duke had taken the effort to carefully pick the name, so I didn't want it to go to waste. It's certainly not the worst name I could've gotten.

Before I arrived at work, I was sent to a physician for an examination. I had to show the nurse and doctor my metal arm. They were the first outside people to see it. They were stunned at how smoothly it worked for being made of what they deemed "outdated" technology. I smiled to myself, thinking of how Heisenberg would react. They kept enquiring about where I got it from, which doctor treated me, and how I lost my arm in the first place. I refused to answer; they would've sent me to a psych ward if I had.

"We can get you a new one," the doctor offered. "You'll get your sense of touch back and have some more mobility. It'll be lighter too, less hazardous… less noticeable."

"No thanks. I'll keep this one."

He raised his eyebrows. "Really? If you're sure… May I ask why?"

"Because it was a gift."

I worked in the city for six months before my employers gave me an offer. They were the closest thing I had to the family I lost. Actually, they're filing to legally adopt me as I'm writing. They weren't able to have any children of their own. When I first arrived at their doorstep, they were overjoyed. They even offered to let me live with them. Elias and Sophie… I'll repay them someday.

Sorry… about the offer; they were impressed by my skill and saw my potential to reach places beyond their shop. They offered to help me apply and pay to go to college for engineering. That's how I got to this dorm where I'm writing now. I just moved in last week.

Even now, being integrated into the modern world, I can't help but think of the village. I keep the Dimitrescu daughters' necklace, Donna's doll, Moreau's rock, and the music box sitting on my dresser. Perhaps that's why I can't get it off my mind. I'm not even sure why I kept them. All those people had tried to kill me. Yet, without them, who would I be? Would I have ever made it to this point?

Every night, I wonder if I'll suddenly wake up in Mamă's house or the factory. I catalogue the interesting things I learn and see every day, wondering how Heisenberg would react if he saw how far technology has come. I can picture him tinkering with every little thing, dying to figure out how they work. He said he would be bad company in this world, but I disagree; I think it would be hysterical, especially informing him that he can't smoke almost anywhere.

Every now and then, I see a stranger on the street and think that they're him. The mistaken identity incidents only last for fleeting moments, but it's enough to get my hopes up. It's been a year since I left the village. I thought Heisenberg was close to his goal when I left… Maybe he didn't have the heart to leave after all. Or maybe he found another place to go, a place that intrigued him even more. …I can't bear to think of any other alternative.

Heisenberg… You're a pretty selfish bastard, you know that? Forgive me for being harsh, but you know you deserve it. It's rude to keep a lady waiting. We made a deal. I fulfilled my end, now it's time for you to fulfill yours. ...You will, right? You won't leave me in suspense like this forever, will you? That'd be incredibly fucking cruel, you have to admit. So please… Please, come find me. All I want is you. I don't want to write those words to you on paper; I want to say them to your face. Please, please… If you just give me that, I'll never ask anything of you again... I swear.

Sometimes I wonder which world is the fake one. To this modern world, the village would sound like a fairytale. If I told anyone in the village about this world, they would think I was spinning tales. But they're both real. The act of writing my story down has reaffirmed that. Nothing that happened to me was a dream. It was all real and it's how I ended up here.

Once in a while, I get drowned in despair when I sleep. I see the faces of those I lost, those who never got to see this wonderful place. I wake in agony, sweating from nightmares of reliving past trauma. I wake in agony, knowing that I'm not in the village with Tată or Mamă or Oskar or Duke or Daria or Heisenberg; it's just me here. I wake in agony, making connections with others that can't replace the ones I've lost.

From here on, I want to focus on my studies and do the best I can with the opportunity I've been given. I want to make Heisenberg proud for making his sacrifice worthwhile. Yes… above all, I will live.

I have to admit, I'm incredibly nervous though. I've entered a school far beyond anything I've been exposed to before. The other students must be top notch. What if I'm not good enough? What if I don't really belong here?

Every time I have these thoughts, I remind myself of how I got here, of how much I've learned without any modern conveniences. Surely the modern world isn't that different. No, it's not that complicated. I just have to remember one thing; it's all just wires and screws.