man, it's been forever I last updated this story. bit of a pity though.
but here's another chapter and I hope you will enjoy it.
The eleven days go quite slow for Shade, the few books he brought has been read and the research of the pain-numbing alchemy is safely hidden in the coded history book. So now he just waits for the last day to pass so he can get his new arm from Miss Rockbell. Stretching out, Shade looks outside the window; a smile appears on his lips watching his brother teaching his two girls- probably in the belief of Ishval. Selena and Harika do look very interested in the subject though, so that's good. Closing the book he has been reading for the second time in these days. "Might as well make myself social." He muses and leaves the room. He encounters Major Miles outside, watching his brother and kids interacting with one another. The soldier turns his head slightly when he notices movements at the door and gives Shade a polite nod as greeting. "Shade."
Shade returns the nod, asking. "Has Lieutenant Hawkeye gone back to Ishval?"
"Not quite, she has returned to Eastern Command." Miles replies to the older brother of Scar. She and Miles agreed that Scar wouldn't be any threats to the people in Rush Valley nor anyone would try an arrest the man since Riza has already told the local police and military that Scar is not a threat and under the watch of a military officer. So with no reason for staying, she left to see if Shade's suggestion of silk cultivation would work.
Miles turns his hidden red eyes to Shade, curious what the man has been working on these past days. "I presume you have finished whatever research you were doing."
"Yes, and hopefully it will help me with the upcoming surgery." Shade replies, he is still incredible worried it won't work and dreads the agony the surgery will cause him. But it's something there has to be done. Looking past that and get suspicious when Miles asks the purpose of this new research; Shade is hesitant to explain. Miles is a good man, but he is still a soldier. Like the chief's bodyguards; it is his duty to report anything useful back to the chief. And it hasn't been the first time someone has been trying to steal his research. So instead of telling about the research, he says. "You know, I have done a lot of people watching lately. And one of the things I have been noticing that the military has a lot of hierarchy. You, for example, reports quite often to who I presume is your chief. You have a good reason doing that of course, the higher-ups need to know what is going on at the bottom."
Miles sees where this is going, Shade might be a lighthearted person, but like any alchemists: he is not an idiot. "So in order words: you won't tell me about your research." The look in Shade's eyes answers enough. Miles can't help but chuckle at this. "I can now see that all alchemists are reluctant to share their research."
"Can you really blame us?" Shade asks back, his tone quite serious. "If our research gets in the wrong hands, a lot of people can get hurt."
Yes, Miles has seen that in first hand. Scar has been using Shade's research in the form of the array on the arms to cause a lot of death and destructions. However, as of yet, Shade does still not know about what Scar has done. "You got a point, but alchemist research can also help a lot of people too."
"And I will share mine: when the situation calls for it." Shade tells him firmly, turning his attention to his family sharing a moment of bliss. He wants to share his alchemy, his knowledge to people, but not to those who want to weaponize it. Selena is still dealing with nightmares about what destruction the alchemists did in Ishval, and Shade does not wish to turn his alchemy into something there will give innocent children nightmares for life.
Miles drops the subject, quietly wondering if Shade here can stand his ground like this around General Armstrong.
With this small discussion over, Shade joins his brother, listen to the man explain the two girls about the teaching of Ishvala.
Scar is a bit surprised seeing his brother has joined them, but it's a pleasured one. He gives the few years older man a nod before returning back to the small lecture of their people's culture. It's been very long since he last felt this form of peace and he is very grateful for it ease up the hardness the war and constant fighting has formed around his heart.
Shade listens very carefully at first, but slowly his mind flashes to another scene.
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A younger him, long before he fully had formed his interest in alchemy, watched his brother's master, old and wise teaches not only his younger brother but several others on how to become honorable Ishvalen warriors. When he wasn't too busy with his studies, he would go to this certain spot and watch his hot-tempered but kind in spirit brother train to become a monk of Ishval. He smiled knowing his younger brother's strength would help to protect the people of Ishval.
When the training was over, his brother would join him, always having that pleasured surprise over his not yet scarred face. Without much words, they would go back home together.
"I didn't think you would have time coming today." His brother remarked, adding with a slight frown. "You have been quite busy lately."
He chuckled, ruffling up his brother's hair, much to the trained monk's annoyance. "I admit the exams are quite demanding, but I still have time to give my baby brother some attention."
His brother slaps away his hand, scowling. "Brother, I'm not a kid anymore."
"I know." he replied, his brother has been an adult for about a year by now, but still. "In my eyes, you are still my baby brother."
His brother huff annoyed, causing him to laugh and take hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright, what about I leave the baby and instead simply call you little brother. How does that sound?"
"Better." His brother replied in a happier tone. They walk in silence for a while, broken when his younger brother asked a bit worried. "Do you think the rumors are true? That Amestris are planning on making Ishval part of their country?"
"I honestly don't know little brother." He admitted softly, although had a strong feeling it might happen. "All we can do is wait and see what the future holds for us."
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Shade winches from suddenly gotten dragged into this very strong flashback, his head hurts as if he got kicked by a horse.
"Brother?"
He looks up, noticing that his brother is looking at him with a worried expression on his scarred face. "What's wrong?"
"I... I remember something." Shade replied, caressing his throbbing head from the sudden trip down memory lane.
Scar's eyes widened slightly, his brother remembers? "What do you remember?"
"Well... apparently I used to watch you train when my exam didn't keep me hauled up back home." Shade muses as he gently waves his own and Harika's hand back and forward. "I wasn't aware Ishval's trained their monks in combat."
Scar remembers that; it was always nice to see his brother waiting for him when he was done training. "It's a sign that the strength in our bodies is as strong as our belief in god." He explains his brother, asking quite curious. "What else do you remember?"
Shade skims through these new memories, nothing much of importance, Well in the worldly point of view, while for him: it is very important. He gives his brother a smile. "That's it, but it's a memory I will treasure."
Scar blinks once before he returns the smile.
The day before he would get his new arm attached, Shade drags his brother into his room, handing him a none coded vision of the pain-numbing alchemy he has been working on. "In case I cannot perform it during the surgery." He explains his brother simply.
Scar eyes the detailed notes on how to perform this alchemy, admittedly reluctant to read it. For him, alchemy is still heresy and not something there should be practiced, in his youth, he would have gotten extremely angry and making a huge argument with his brother for trying to drag him into this heretic. But now; older and wiser on the matter. Plus having a great feeling of not taking his brother being back in his life for granted. Scar takes the note, promising his brother he will read up on it and perform this alchemy trick. "but only if you cannot perform it yourself." He tells his brother hard.
Shade nods in understanding, not sure why, but he feels very relieved that his brother didn't make such a big fuss about it. Like he had been expecting an argument or something.
After dinner, Scar sits down on his bed, reading the notes his brother gave him. Only looking up when someone knocks on the door and a moment later Miles walks inside. The soldier notices the notes and how the diagrams look awfully like alchemy. "I thought you didn't want to study alchemy Ishvalen." He remarks astounded, Scar has always scorned over alchemy so watching him actually do the study on it is quite the change.
"I don't, but this isn't for my own sake." Scar replies, returning his eyes back to the notes, quite amazed how his brother made this easy to understand. Even a novice would understand this. Which is why he will destroy this note when he knows how to do this form of alchemy, his brother will share this knowledge to others when the time is right.
Miles thought this change has something to do with Shade. "You really cares about him." He points out, earning a look from the scarred Ishvalen. Miles is starting to see an ironic connection between these two Ishvalen brothers and another pair of brothers he knows. "You know, watching you interacting with your brother, I can't help but notices similarities between you two and the Elric brothers."
Scar snorts at this, not seeing any similarities other than they each have a brother.
"You each would do anything for the other's safety correct?" Miles points out, resting up against the door to the room, watching the once killer of State Alchemists.
"It hasn't always been like this." Scar muses in a low tone, he stares at the alchemy notes but isn't reading the words; he's too caught up in the memories of him and his brother arguing over their huge difference in personality and point of views. "Before I became Scar, back when I still deserved my name. My brother and I fought a lot about the Ametrians. He wanted to understand Amestris's culture, help our people integrate into the country. That's how he became fascinated in alchemy. I didn't approve on the path he was going." Eyeing the soldier— his red-eyed brother. "I couldn't understand why he sided with the Amestrians over our people. He explained to me that we needed to adepts or we wouldn't be left behind. I didn't understand what he meant, too enraged that he dared to study something our people considered heresy."
"If you fought with him all the time; hated the fact he studied alchemy. Then why did you speak so highly about him when you thought him dead?" Miles asks the scarred man.
Scar leans forward, resting his arms on his lap. "Only when I lost my brother, lived without him. I realized how much I had taken my brother for granted. It was partly his death that made me turn to the path of vengeance." He fists his right arm, his brother's arm. "It was my memories about him that made me realize that my vengeance has only been causing more damage than good." It started when the Elric brothers confronted him about the Rockbells, how Edward had the same face when he protected the daughter of the two doctors. But Miles also helped him get away from the path of vengeance with his words of wanting to change the country, for that he is thankful. "Having brother back into my life again; I will swallow my own pride for his sake, even if it means study alchemy."
Miles watches the man for a moment, thinking back to back when they first met. Scar had been a man trapped in his own vengeance, filled with bitterness and despair. Even when he returned back to Ishval and helped the people rebuilding, the bitterness refused to fade- until now. For the first time, Miles is starting to see the man behind the killer, a man with so much regret in those red eyes, but he also sees something else in them: hope. "You have changed a lot from the first time I laid eyes on you." He remarks, catching Scar a bit off guard.
Scar stares at Miles for a moment then turns his attention back to the notes. "I have died many times, all the time coming back as a new person."
"Will one of them have a name?"
Scar hesitates on that question, he has been sort of content living without a name. Thought it suited a man like him, but... now he is daring to hope that maybe, one day. He can reclaim him name again. How or when he does not know, but he can wait. "That I do not know." He replies to the soldier, grabs the notes and tore it into tiny pieces. He has the knowledge he needs and one he will treat with great respect. It's bad enough he tainted his brother's arm of deconstruction, he does not want to tarnish his alchemy further.
Scar puts his left on his right, letting a small alchemic reaction go through the arm. Must admit that he does feel a pang of pride when the pain-numbing alchemy works.
"What did he teach you?" Miles asks curiously of what Scar did to himself. The scarred man flexes his right hand, unbeknown to the soldier; he cannot feel a darn thing in it. "Something there will spare him years of pain."
Miles blinks, but the monk of Ishval refuses to explain further, so Miles has to settle with that vague explanation.
"Miles, can you look after Selena and Harika?" Scar asks him, eyeing his red-eyed brother. "I need to be by my brother's side."
"Of course," Miles nods in understanding, asking with a slight frown. "but are you certain miss Rockbell will accept having you that close?"
Oh right... forgot about her. Has been so busy around his family that he actually forgot about what terrible deeds he did against her family. He will not apologie, it's just an excuse unworthy for her.
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Scar knows this will not be fun for his brother, but he had been hoping the pain-numbing alchemy would take the worst of it. He is sure it does, but that still does not changes the fact that this is agony and all this Ishvalen can do is sit and listen to his brother cries of pain. For a warrior like him, a man who can easily kill ten Amastrian soldiers, defeat powerful State Alchemists, stand against a monster to a homunculus... and yet he can do little to nothing when it comes to helping his own brother. He feels so helpless, feeling like a kid again; can do nothing but wait and pray to Ishvala for his brother's well being.
Scar is unsure how long he has been listing to his brother cries of pain and the sound of machines getting attached to bones and flesh. Only that when it stops, he cannot stop himself go into a fit of panic. About to barge into the surgery room but stops when Winry and that other man leave the room. "How is he?" He asks them- well mostly Winry since she's the only one he knows of the two. Right now he does not care he is pretty much losing it, it doesn't matter how he looks to the public if his brother is near death.
Winry eyes Scar and is quite taken by surprise seeing the murder of her parents actual show some humanity in the form of an incredibly worried brother. It catches her the more off guard that Scar at this moment reminds her of Edward when he's worried sick about his brother's well being. She quickly brushes it aside, though, telling Scar as she removes her uniform. "He's resting at the moment, so I suggest you don't visit him in an hour or so."
Scar calms immensely down hearing this, glancing at the door. "Is the arm attached?"
"No, we only attached the plantings holding the arm around his shoulder." She tells him, not sure why but adds: "That was the worst part, the rest won't cause him so much pain or take this long." Eyeing the murder of her parents, she remarks to him rather harshly. "Hopefully he won't kill me like you did my parents."
Scar looks away, but he cannot hide the great regret he feels. Winry sees it and maybe feels a bit smug getting such a reaction out from him, glad that he feels bad for what he has done.
Scar lets out a small sigh, turning back to the young woman. "Do not put any of my mistakes onto him. He does not deserve your anger." Glancing to the room where his brother is resting, he continues. "You once asked me why I did it, and if you still wish that answer: I will tell you, but-" he lets their eyes meet, her eyes are filled with surprise and suspicious, yet all he sees; is the blue eyes there made him snap that day.
"-it will not be what you were hoping for."
Winry takes a seat on the nearby table and only then tells the scarred man hard. "Tell me exactly what happened."
Scar nods and tells her what happed that faithful day.
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Before he was Scar, he was a monk meant to protect his people. Like many others, he was enraged but also horrified by what the military was doing to their people. He had seen so many dead people, men, women, children, didn't matter for the military. If they had the brown skin and red eyes: they were dead. But there was one small hope for the monk and that had been seeing his family still alive. His mother and father, along with some other family members were ready to leave the city. His brother too, but before heading out, his older brother gave him those crucial notes on how to stop the worldwide transmutation circle. Told him there was a higher chance for the younger brother's survival since he was a trained warrior and the older brother was already shaking like a leaf by what was going on around them.
The monk had assured him that he would be alright, but he had spoken those words too soon. For that very moment, a State Alchemist has arrived. His older brother recognized the man as one with the markings on his palms. That State Alchemist had been Solf J. Kimblee and he used his destructive alchemy- amplified by the Philosopher stone to eliminate the whole sector. During the attack, the older brother had thrown himself between the alchemist and the monk. When the attack finally ended, the two brothers were the only ones alive. Everyone else had been brutally killed. The younger brother would've died too, the blast had not only left him with several wounds and a torn face but blasted off his arm; causing him to rapidly bleeding out. The older brother found him like that, desperately tried to stop the bleeding, but hadn't learned how to do any medical alchemy. So in a snap decision and raw will to keep his brother alive, the older one tore off his own right arm and attached it to the badly wounded monk with what little alchemy he knew. Watching his brother perform alchemy on him had been the last thing the younger brother saw his older brother for a very long time.
When the younger brother returned back to conscious, he was in a medical clinic, greatly disorientated and in so much agony from his injuries. When the Rockbell doctors came over to him, he barely heard their words; all he saw was the blue eyes of the Amestrian soldiers there have been slaughtering his people. He did calm down for a moment when he saw his brother's tattooed arm, but completely snapped into a fit of terror and sorrow when he realized that the arm now belonged to him. It quickly turned into an animalistic rage, and he turned all this rage on the two blue-eyed people and he killed them. He fled the clinic, went back home, but... even his home the Amestrians have stolen from him, leaving him with nothing but the rage there soon would fuel his entire life on a path of vengeance.
Winry listens to the whole story deadly quiet, it frightens her how much horror Scar saw in that war, saw his own family get blown up by Kimblee, a man she had for a small while considered a nice guy. Oh, how she takes those thoughts back now. Her eyes land on Scar's right arm, the arm his older brother- Shade gave him. She can't imagine waking up with someone else's arm attached to her, so she can sort of understand why he freaked out. That, plus all the horrors he saw before getting taken in by her parents, he had been a ticking time bomb ready to go off and her parents have unfortunately been the ones setting it off.
"Now you know." Scar voice snaps her out her thoughts. Winry nods slowly. "Yeah..." Now she knows why he did it. It doesn't change the fact he is the one who killed them, but at least now she can understand why he did it. She can never forgive him but... "I accept your apology."
Scar eyes wide slightly hearing those words, didn't actually expect any sort of forgiveness from this girl.
Winry dries away the few tears there escaped her eyes. "I cannot forgive you, but I can accept that you are sorry for what you have done and... well, I can deal with having the younger brother of a customer around." She says with a weak smile to the scarred man. But she has to ask him. "Does he know about this?"
"No." Scar replies.
Winry frowns lightly, trying but having great trouble reading this stone-faced man, so she has to ask. "Why not? Don't you think he deserves to know what happened to his right arm?"
Scar puts his left on the right one, clenching the tattooed skin slightly.
"I can't tell him." Is all he says.
Winry titles her head, not sure what he means by that. Is Scar afraid of his brother's reaction? Or is there more to it? She has no idea and honestly doesn't think it's her business.
Winry lets Scar pays his brother a visit before he has to leave for the night. Scar watches his brother sleep, but far from a peacefully one, too much in pain for that. He gently puts his left arm on the right shoulder, now having a big steel plating covering the skin and the stump. The arm is still not there, though. He performs the alchemy and to his relief, his brother's ragged breathing eases and about five minutes later, his brother's eyes open. Shade stares at him for a long time, eyes squinted in an attempt to focus. Scar gently puts his glasses on and his older brother smiles now that he can see who is standing before him. "Hey... did you do the pain-numbing alchemy on me?"
Scar nods, for once glad he was taught for such a thing. It will at least give his brother some hours of proper rest.
"It was a painful affair." Shade remarks softly from his spot.
"Didn't you perform the alchemy before going through this?" Scar asks him.
Shade eyes him slightly offended. "Of course I did, but it faded out about halfway."
Scar is shocked how much pain someone with automail has to go through. "How can people go through this?"
"That or live without the second limp." Shade replies simply.
There is silence between them for a moment, broken when Shade muses his thoughts out loud. "I had a terrifying dream... a man with cold eyes, black hair and transmutation circles on his palms."
Scar's eyes wide hearing a well-known person, one he hopes he never will meet again.
"He was laughing when he used his alchemy to kill people I couldn't see the faces of, only one I recognized: you." Shade eyes his brother, too exhausted to really get a proper read on him. "He tore you to shreds and there was nothing I could do... I wasn't strong enough."
Sounds very much like the dreams he at times have about Kimblee, except the one getting torn apart is his brother.
"I don't want to lose you..." Shade muses groggy, the exhausting getting to him. "I won't let you die... not before I do... I won't let you, Tanvir..."
Scar can't stop himself from jumping hearing what his brother has just said, snapping his wide eyes of pure shock to his brother. He realizes that his brother has fallen asleep. Probably utterly unaware of what he had just said. Scar is not sure what to feel about this, those last words sounded very much like the last words his brother spoke right before he gave him his right arm. Scar gently places his right hand on his brother's left shoulder, pondering if those last words have been god trying to tell him that he is allowed to reclaim his name again? He isn't really sure.
Scar removes the glasses from his brother's face, musing to him softly.
"I know you won't..." He wants to say his brother's name so much, but he feels unworthy uttering it. So he puts the glasses back onto the table and leaves, pondering if he even deserves this happiness his brother and two daughters so dearly wants to give him.
After have assured Selena and Harika that he will look after their father and they feel comfortable enough spending the day with Miles, Scar returns back to Atelier Garfiel and starts the very painful waiting while Miss Rockbell finishes her work. At this time his brother doesn't sound to be too much in pain, so that's good. As he waits, many people visit the shop with several of them taking notice of the Ishvalen, some even recognize him as Scar but after he made it clear that he is no longer killing people and is getting punished for his deeds, most of them leave him alone. Not all though, some are quite curious about him, but those he completely ignores.
He is quite relieved when Winry says it's okay to see his brother, walking into the room Scar's eyes land right away on his brother's new artificial arm. It does look a bit like the Fullmetal's, yet simpler in design and currently cradled in a bandage for support. Shade is awake, and he smiles when Scar steps into the room.
Both men turn to Winry when she explains Shade that he shouldn't try and move the arm too much for the first six months. "Your body needs to recover from the surgery, after that; you should slowly rehabilitate it but don't overdo it or you might cause an unwanted strain."
"Don't worry miss Rockbell, I have already gone through the rehabilitation before so I know I shouldn't overwork it before it has properly healed." Shade tells her in a friendly matter of fact. Winry blushes slightly forgot for a moment that Shade has gone through this before. "Oh right, sorry." So instead explains Shade what kind of metal she has been using to build this arm.
Most of what she said went straight over Scar's head but his brother seems to understand. What Scar did understand of what Winry told them that she did base Shade's new arm after the cold weather automail, but did use metal alloys there wouldn't conduct heat like the cold weather automail. "So you have to be extra careful when you're out in colder weather or you will end up with frostbite." Winry explains him, adding that extreme cold can cause the alloys to become brittle and shatter. Shade nods he understands and will keep that in mind if he happens to be outside at night. Scar, on the other hand, notes himself not to bring his brother anywhere near the north, not until he has regained enough strength to change his automail into the cold weather automail.
With the operation over and being one with the money, Scar pays Winry for the automail and the bed Shade has been using during recovery.
The two Ishvalen brothers leave the shop, with Shade going straight to bed for some much-needed rest and recovery from the surgery. Scar takes a seat beside the bed, watching his brother quietly. He only leaves the room when his brother is fast asleep and Miles has returned with the kids.
"Can we see daddy?" Selena asks after he has told them that Shade is back from the surgery, but Scar doesn't think his brother can handle that at the moment. "He needs his rest, wait till he wakes again." He tells them. The two girls are quite disappointed but at least understand why, so they don't make any complaints about it. Instead, they tell their uncle how their day has been, which has been a bit boring. "It was interesting in the start, but watching metal limbs all the time is getting boring." Selena points out, Harika nods in agreement and asks the two adults. "When will we go back home?" Scar feels a pang of happiness of hearing the two girls consider Ishval their home now.
"When your daddy has recovered enough for the travel." Miles replies and asks Scar in a quieter tone so the kids wouldn't hear. "How long time do you think he will need?"
That Scar does not know, he is honestly not sure how fast his brother- now adept in medical alchemy can heal. He voices this to Miles, adding quietly. "For all I know, he could recover in a month or three years." He just doesn't know how far his brother's alchemic knowledge reaches anymore and that is scaring him. "Only time will tell." He knows his brother is too kind to use his alchemy like the State Alchemists did during the war but the uncertainty on what his brother can do with his alchemy is worrying him, he has seen what masters of alchemy can do and first hand been using his brothers somewhat unique alchemy, so with those two combined... yes, Scar is really glad that his brother is not a person to lash out in anger. Otherwise, his brother could probably turn a whole town into ruins with a single alchemy strike.
before any of you get the wrong idea, Tanvir is not Scar's canon name. it's simply what I decided to name him.
if you have a wish of a certain scene or such; feel free to tell me and I might write a chapter out from it. I do sort of just write nonsense at this point and I don't think that will make a good story.