She waited until a time when she knew the guys would be out on patrol before showing up at the lair. It made her visit a late one, but it wasn't an ungodly hour, and she couldn't risk the guys, most of all Donnie, being there. She wasn't even sure if she should have come to talk with her sensei; surely his feelings on the matter ran as deeply as any of his sons'.
But… she couldn't put off seeing Splinter or any of the guys forever, and the more the thoughts and memories niggled at her, the more she knew she should ask Splinter to help her sort them out. She knew he wouldn't be mad at her, or at least, not that mad… she thought. He was so level and calm, so very rarely more than stern or abrupt, even when his four teenage sons tested his patience.
What if he was, though? she thought, as she silently crossed the dojo floor toward Master Splinter's chambers. Za'noran had gotten the best of her and used her to atomize one of his sons. Even though she'd brought him back, she could have destroyed Donnie forever. Splinter's sons were all that he had… Would he ever truly forgive her if she ended up killing Donatello?
Her feet stopped several steps back from the sliding shoji doors. Maybe this was a bad idea, a bad time. Maybe she would come back another—
"April. Did you wish to see me?" Splinter's voice came from the other side of the doors, and he slid them open, peering down at her with a level expression.
She stifled a sigh. No backing out now. "Yes, Sensei," she managed, but her voice caught, so she didn't elaborate why.
"Come," the rat said gently. "Let us have some tea."
x-x-x-x-x
April stared into her cup in the dim room, having no desire to actually drink the bitter brew. She sighed. "I really messed things up with Donnie, Sensei. I don't think things will ever be the same between us again. I said I was sorry… but I don't think he believes me."
The rat peered down his long snout at her knowingly. "An apology must be more than words. One must attempt to repair the damage, and act in good faith in order to rebuild the broken trust."
"I don't see how I can do that, if Donnie doesn't even want to see me anymore…"
"It will take time, as all wounds require time to heal. Have patience. When you have finished with your tea, I wish to show you something."
She hurriedly blew the steam from the cup and sloshed the liquid into her mouth, coughing and sputtering as it scalded her tongue and throat. Splinter could not hold back a slight grin.
"Time will also make one's tea more palatable. Rushing to action at times does more harm than good."
April returned him a wan look, blowing into her cup until the remainder was cool enough, and downed it. She set the cup down in triumph as if she'd just downed a shot of something much stronger than brewed herbs. "What was it you wanted to show me? Is it a new technique?"
The rat gave her a slight nod, both pleased and amused at her enthusiasm. "A technique, yes, though not one of ninjutsu. Pick up your cup, and bring it here near the candle."
"Oh… okay…"
"Look closely. What do you see?"
She squinted as she slowly rotated the tiny bowl, until her eyes caught a quick flash. "Oh! There was something gold!" Turning it toward the light, she found it again. "There's…more than one… or, a line!" She traced the gold downward to a point, where it headed back up to the cup's brim, outlining a small triangle, with another line that branched off to the side, this one forming an irregular-sided trapezoid. Curious, she flipped the cup over, and found the same golden lines networking not only those two segments, but the entire cup. "How did they get the gold in it?" she asked.
Splinter took a long sip from his own cup. "This tea-set is particularly precious to me. It was handed down to me from my grandfather, and he from his. I had put it in a high spot, atop a bookcase, to keep it from harm. Unfortunately, when one has four wild and curious young boys, things put in high places do not stay there."
April pictured the scene in her mind: the four miniature mutant turtles climbing and shaking the bookshelf until, turtle-topheavy, the whole thing tipped, spilling shelves, tea-set and tots to the floor. The imagined crash brought her back to reality. "Oh no…"
"Indeed," the rat nodded. "Fortunately, none of my sons were harmed, but my antiques did not fare so well."
"You… put them back together, like a puzzle!" she deduced. "But, with gold instead of glue?"
"Almost. It is lacquer and resin, infused with gold dust. The technique is called kintsugi. It teaches us that though a thing may be broken, it can be mended to become even more beautiful, a philosophy based on optimism. Clever Donatello found a book about it on our weekly trip to the library… after hours, of course. We were supposed to be reading The Gruffalo," he recalled with amused annoyance. "While the other boys helped in puzzling the pieces together, he also developed the resin, and scavenged the gold, from old computers, of all things. He was four."
"Four! That's Donnie, though… Ahead of the curve." She continued looking at the cup, at all the joined pieces and the shimmering lines bonding them. Hundreds of tiny flecks, sparkling in the dim… lifted and carried on the breeze on a New York night… Almost like…
A loud gasp escaped her and she nearly rebroke the teacup with the force she slammed it down on the table.
"I-I've gotta go!" she said hastily, standing and giving a quick bow. "Thanks for the tea!" She flung the shoji open, stepped out and threw it closed again, her running footsteps carrying through the empty lair. The turnstiles creak-thunked, and the steps faded into the tunnels.
Splinter listened until his sharp ears no longer heard her. "Mmmh," he mumbled to himself, sighed, and poured himself more tea.
x-x-x-x-x
a/n: Sorry to leave you all hanging so long on this one! The good news is, it's my intent to finish up the last couple of chapters before starting anything else, so you'll be seeing those within the next couple weeks!