"Wanda, Sam is making breakfast in the kitchen. Would you like to come have some? He's a better cook than I am." Natasha asked the blurry-eyed teenager when she entered her room the next morning. The last week or so had very much stretched her culinary abilities. She could do the basics- eggs, sandwiches, pasta- and was actually very skilled with the blender but beyond that her go to would be takeout menu drawer. When Sam joined them at the Tower, he had joked that between herself and Steve they could burn a pot of boiling water.
She had planned it out with the guys to try and have breakfast out in the common area that morning with Wanda. With Tony gone to California, Vision gone upstate, and Rhodey not joining them until the construction on the new facility completed, the spy thought it would be a good time to start coaxing her to spend time with at least Steve and Sam. But Natasha had not anticipated the nightmare that alarmed the entire floor last night. Nightmare seemed not a sufficient enough word to describe the panicked cries coming from Wanda's room, Natasha had bolted out of bed with the firearm from her nightstand thinking the girl was under attack. But when she went Wanda was alone, only plagued by the terrors in her own mind. Natasha kept her distance as she called out to the girl to wake up; she did not see any red tendrils of magic coming from her, but she did not want to risk startling anything out of her.
When Wanda jerked awake, she looked bewildered and terrified, and Natasha started to move toward her, however the girl flinching away from her and backing up against the headboard made her stop. Then Steve appeared in corridor only his boxer and white t-shirt as well as Sam behind him who had also grabbed a gun, the pistol pointed down at the ground in front of him but ready to use it. She quickly handed off her gun to Steve and hurried them away, explaining it just seemed that Wanda had a bad dream. The guys had looked concerned but went back to their rooms like she had asked. Getting back to Wanda, the teenager seemed more closed off though still visibly shaken. She tried asking if she was all right, but Wanda only apologized for waking her and turned away as she said goodnight. Natasha fought her instincts to go to the girl and instead reluctantly allowed her to go back to bed. Back in her own room, the woman could not fall asleep, worrying about Wanda and listening for any more signs of distress.
Natasha did not hear anymore disturbances though and managed a couple more hours of sleep herself. She considered postponing her plans for their breakfast but ultimately decided to not let one nightmare derail potential progress. As she stood in front of Wanda, the girl did not appear to be very receptive to the idea. She pressed to reassure her, "It will just be you, me, Sam and Steve. It'll be good."
Wanda paused for another second but then nodded and climbed out of bed. Natasha nodded approvingly, "Let's pull the sheets off your bed first. They need to be washed."
The agent took a laundry basket out of the closet and had Wanda help her strip the sheets and pillowcases off the bed, piling everything into a heap in the basket. Natasha walked with the laundry basket on her hip and showed Wanda the laundry room at the end of their hallway. There was a washer and dryer she used for clothing but there was also a chute so larger things like linens and towels could be sent someplace else to be washed. Natasha had never really thought about where the laundry went. Practically everything in the tower was automated first by JARVIS and now FRIDAY. Things like laundry came and went, groceries were always stocked in the kitchen and little robots were programmed to come around and clean regularly. She dumped the hamper down the chute and told Wanda they would go get her new bedding from the linen closet after breakfast.
When the women entered the kitchen, Steve and Sam were already there. The Falcon standing over a skillet on the stove and Captain America sitting at the island with a cup of coffee and a newspaper. They both looked to them, and Steve smiled broadly at them, "Hey, good morning. Glad you could join us, Wanda."
"Good morning." Wanda replied back politely.
Steve's smile widened and he stood, "Take a seat, ladies. Nat, coffee?"
"Yes please." Natasha had Wanda sit at the counter on the end and she took the spot next to her. "What's for breakfast, Sam?"
"I'm making omelets and home fries. Ham, cheese and green peppers okay with everybody?" He asked though it appeared he was nearly finished cooking the last omelet.
"Sounds good to us." She agreed for both her and Wanda, whose eyes had turned to her for the answer. Steve pushed a cup of black coffee across the counter towards her and she thanked him. Then he asked, "Wanda, do you drink coffee?"
The teenager shook her head no and Steve began offering her other things to drink, "Do you want milk or juice? We've got all kinds of juice- grape, apple, orange."
"Orange juice, please." Wanda answered this time without having to defer to Natasha.
"Coming right up." Steve said with his cheerful helpfulness and poured her a tall glass of juice that would probably be way too much for her to drink.
As Sam pulled a baking sheet of perfectly roasted, cubed potatoes he announced, "Breakfast is ready."
He plated up the omelets and potatoes then passed a plate and fork to everyone. He gave Wanda the plate with the largest portions, which would definitely be too much for her stomach to handle. She would maybe have to talk to the guys about portions for Wanda and what would be appropriate. The girl definitely needed the food but it would not do any good to overwhelm her. She advised Wanda, "Don't make yourself sick trying to eat all of that."
The girl nodded as Steve took his spot back at the counter one seat over from Natasha and Sam elected to eat standing at counter across from them and they all tucked into their meal. Natasha noticed how quickly her fork went back for a second bite. After her first bite, the agent complimented the cook, "This is good, Sam. What do you think, Wanda?"
"It's delicious." The girl said with amazement and with her mouth full. "How did you make it?"
Sam chuckled lightly, "I'll give you a hint. If it tastes good, it probably has too much butter in it."
Wanda nodded thoughtfully and the man continued, "I could show you around the kitchen some time if you want."
The girl paused then looked to Natasha with slightly big seeking eyes, "Could I?"
"Of course. If you want to." She smiled encouragingly.
Wanda glanced back at her plate shyly, "Yes, some time ."
"Great," Sam grinned. Then added impishly, "Someone has to teach you how to cook. Natasha's idea of cooking is memorizing the phone numbers for the local Chinese restaurants."
"I'm not that bad." The superspy rolled her eyes at him. "Right, Wanda?"
The girl nodded in serious agreement with her, "The food is adequate."
This caused Sam to burst out with laughter and next to her she could hear Steve trying to stifle his amusement at her word choice. In between his giggling, Sam managed to say, "A ringing endorsement from the kid."
"I didn't mean it was bad." Wanda looked between the two of them anxiously that she had said something wrong.
"It's alright, I know. The team just likes to tease each other." Natasha grinned at her, which seemed to put her at ease. Then she turned to Sam who still appeared entirely too pleased with himself, arching an eyebrow at him she said, "I'm going to remember this later on for our sparring session, and don't think I can't hear you laughing too Captain Rogers."
The humor from the Sam's face dropped at her implied threat and Steve waved his napkin at her in surrender with a laugh, "Hey, don't include me in this. I'm just trying to eat my breakfast."
Sam quit his ribbing and mumbled a belated apology in an attempt to placate Natasha, but she simply sipped her coffee, apparently unaffected by his repentance. They moved on then to talking about other plans for the day. Sam had some maintenance tests he needed to run on his flight suit, Steve and Natasha were meeting with R&D to look at some new gadgets. Sam insisted Wanda try dipping her potatoes in ketchup, but she wrinkled her nose at it and said it was too sweet. Mostly the Sokovian listened and observed them quietly though the nervous energy she had at the beginning had dissipated almost entirely.
Even with liking the food, Wanda could only finish about half of the omelet before having to stop. Steve offered to do clean up since Sam cooked and Natasha took Wanda to the closet to get fresh sheets. After she helped the girl make her bed, she asked if Wanda wanted to watch a movie and the girl said yes to her mild surprise. The Black Widow had some time before she needed to be anywhere, so she turned on The Wizard of Oz and sat down on the couch with her, though she was more interested in keeping an eye on Wanda than the film. Natasha could not shake the worry she had over the Wanda's nightmare and felt extra vigilant. The teenager made it to the Emerald City before she started to drift off to sleep, her body giving in from her lack of sleep last night. When she was completely out, Natasha paused the movie with a sigh.
Wanda seemed okay, the woman tried to tell herself and it was just one nightmare, she was probably worrying over nothing. Noticing the time, Natasha realized she needed to leave. With one more concerned gaze at the girl dozing peacefully, she decided that Wanda would be fine, it probably was just one nightmare, and left for the gym to go kick Sam's ass around.
/
It was not just one nightmare. It became a regular nightly occurrence that Natasha would wake up to Wanda screaming and crying and she would run to her room. But once she had woken the thrashing girl, Wanda would clam up every time, pulling away and receding into herself as she turned away from Natasha with an embarrassed 'I'm sorry'. She desperately wanted to do more for her but from her behavior Wanda seemed to not want Natasha to be near in the aftermath. So she would inevitably back off and allow her the space. It did not make it any easier to go back to her room though and pretend like the teenager was not frightened and hurting. Sometimes the terrors woke them up twice per the night.
Despite the disruptive dreams as the days built into weeks Wanda continued to make strides during the daytime. Breakfast with the guys became a part of their routine, she would not immediately crawl back into bed after eating and Natasha started introducing her to other areas on their floor, so she did not spend all day in her room.
First she started watching television in the entertainment room. Natasha tended to turn on classic movies or nature documentaries for her to watch but sometime Steve would sit with her and show her movies from when he grew up. Then she introduced Wanda to the library to much success. The teenager liked to peruse the books though there were not many in the collection she could read. Hydra had not put much into her education and while she spoke English very well, reading in English was not her strong suit. Still she seemed to enjoy just being in the room and turning through the pages. Natasha would have to figure out how to teach her soon and probably get her some books on her reading level or at least in Russian or Sokovian. However she was still primarily concerned with improving her mental and physical health for the time being.
Natasha started to give Wanda lunch or at least an afternoon snack in addition to her breakfast and dinner. Then a couple nights out of the week she asked for the guys to be around for dinner as well. Sam would cook something, and Wanda would watch with great interest as he talked her through it, sometimes performing the tasks he asked her to complete- chopping vegetable, mixing ingredients into a bow, grating cheese and the like. They fell into a relatively comfortable pattern and bit by bit Wanda became more engaged in her surroundings.
Of course it was not always perfect. When the twin's birthday came around, Wanda back slid, staying in bed practically catatonic. Getting her to drink a glass of orange juice was all she managed to get the girl to do that day and Natasha took it as a win. And Wanda did not yet move about the apartments without Natasha leading her to a different spot. The agent found this out the hard way when she left Wanda in the library on her own and had gotten caught up in a training session. When she got back to their floor she had gone to Wanda's room expecting she would have gone back there but the room was empty. She went to the library then and found Wanda near tears asking if she could go lie down. Natasha immediately took her back to her bedroom to let her get into bed and explained Wanda did not need to have permission to move freely around, she could go anywhere except people's private rooms without their consent. The girl said she understood but still had not changed her location without prompting, most likely because Natasha made sure she or one of the guys could check in on Wanda more regularly.
That was another time Natasha had wanted to do more to comfort her, but Wanda shied away from her like she did not want that. Not since the funeral did the girl seek out any form of physical touch as if she had determined that she would be able to handle things on her own. Like when the Sokovian had become sick one night after having too much Chinese food. The poor girl had expelled everything from her stomach into the toilet, but she would not allow Natasha to come in and help her, leaving the woman hovering outside the bathroom door and listening to ensure she was all right.
Despite that, in the five weeks since Pietro's funeral Natasha felt okay about her progress. It was just those damn nightmares, her mind circled back to her worry. She was sitting at the kitchen island, facing away from the counter so she could look out through the breakfast cutout into the main living room where she knew Wanda slept on the couch with the book Little Women in her hand. Natasha was pretty far back from the girl and could not see her since the couch did not face her, but she would be able to see if she sat up. Fortunately, her sleep during the day had yet to be affected by nightmares, perhaps their one saving grace.
It was Sunday, the day Natasha had designated for changing Wanda's sheets. When she had gone in to wake up Wanda this morning, the teenager had already been up and was taking the sheets off her bed without being told. As absurd as it sounded, the woman had felt a beam of pride for Wanda when she saw that; small, seemingly insignificant moments like that giving her hope that she was indeed on the road to recovery. So she had just come from putting new bedding on the girl's bed on her own instead of rousing Wanda to help her and now she drank a cup of coffee though she began to feel like she should have tried to have a nap like Wanda.
"Hey Natasha." Sam greeted her as he appeared in the kitchen, heading straight to the refrigerator.
"Sam." She tilted her mug at him.
"Are we doing dinner tonight?" The man asked as he emerged from the fridge with a yogurt cup.
"Not tonight." The agent shook her head. "Wanda is pretty tired today, so I think we'll just eat in her room.. She had two nightmares last night."
Sam frowned and opened the utensil drawer, "Right, poor kid. You're probably getting about as much sleep as the Barton's right now."
Three weeks ago the baby had been born, Nathaniel Pietro Barton. She had talked to both Clint and Laura a few times over the weeks and both mom and baby were healthy, and the boy was disgustingly adorable from all of the pictures and videos she received despite his betrayal. They talked about visiting but with Wanda not sleeping through the night a visit still seemed pretty far off with Sam's assessment of their sleep schedule probably being accurate. She said lightly, "I don't need much sleep."
After a beat though she continued more confessionally, "I wish there were something more I could do for her. I feel like I have no idea what I am doing."
"I don't think that's true. I think you have a real strong instinct for the kid." Sam had set down his yogurt and was focusing on her. "So, do you have an instinct for something more you could do?"
"Yes.. but," She immediately replied. "With the signals I'm getting from her I don't think she would want that."
"Or maybe she doesn't know how to ask for it." Sam countered. Natasha paused, cocking her head to the side for him to elaborate. He went on.
"You know I was a trauma counselor, with veterans and not with children but I know a little about it. Thing with kids and trauma is that a major side effect is stunted growth, physically and emotionally. In some ways Wanda had to grow up very fast but really, emotionally, she probably never really got past 8 years old when she lost her parents. She learned how to get things she needed from her brother, but never from an adult. There were not any adults she could trust and now she doesn't know how to communicate her needs to you."
"I'm trying to be open with her, let her know she can talk to me." Natasha did not mean to sound defensive as she said the words, but she knew she did.
Sam quickly spoke up with some assurance, "I think you really are, Nat. But that might not help if she doesn't know how to say what she needs."
Natasha went quiet as she thought about what he said. The Falcon let her consider things for another minute before he continued, "Look, I'm not telling you what to do. Shit, I think you're the reason Wanda is standing on her own two feet but what I am telling you is, that if you have an instinct follow it.. If it is wrong, you'll know, and you can learn from it."
"Thanks, Sam." The Black Widow gave him a small smile. "That was surprisingly insightful."
"Hey, I'm a man of great depth and mystery." He pointed his spoon at her.
"I'll spread the word." Natasha said and little smile grew into a snarkier grin, "Just don't think this will make me go any easier on you during spars."
"I didn't think it would." He exhaled heavily with resignation and patted her shoulder before he headed back out of the kitchen with his snack. Natasha watched him go, her smile fading as she disappeared and turned back out to gaze into the living room, not looking at Wanda but keeping an eye out for her. Thinking about what Sam said, Natasha considered what she could do differently for the girl when the sun went down, and the nightmares came in.
/
It was a little after one in the morning when Natasha started to hear faint crying from Wanda's room. At first she waited. Sometimes she tried to let her stay asleep if the dream did not sound as awful, though more often than not the crying escalated to screaming and she would inevitable rush in. The woman had not gone to bed yet, deciding to sit up with a book and wait rather than be woken up suddenly. As expected the noise from Wanda's room steadily grew to hoarse shouts and sobs. The agent tossed her book aside and hurried over to the girl's bedroom.
Natasha stood a couple step inside the doorway like she usually did and called out to the girl over her cries as FRIDAY raised the lights halfway, "Wanda, wake up honey. You're having a bad dream again."
Wanda gasped, her body snapping up to sit up in bed. Natasha could see her chest heaving as she took in short, ragged breaths. The girl swallowed hard, trying to contain herself as she spoke, "I'm sorry. Sorry."
"It's alright, you have nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay, milaya?" Natasha asked her gently as she came further into the room. Wanda blinked in uncertainty at her new approach but did not flinch away, just nodded her head once and kept her eyes trained on the woman.
Natasha continued to draw nearer, "Do you want to talk about it? Sometimes that can help."
The teenager looked stricken and shook her head no and Natasha reassured her, "That's fine. You don't have to if you don't want to."
The woman lowered herself to sit on the bed next to Wanda. She thought about what Sam said, how trauma stunted development and what Wanda at 8 years old would find comforting. Slowly Natasha brought her hand up to push Wanda's hair out of her face and behind her ear. She spoke in Russian now, guessing Wanda probably knew the language since most people in Sokovia spoke both, and if not it would at least be comfortingly familiar to her native language, "It's alright if you're not okay. Just let me know how I can help, milaya."
Wanda raised her own hand to where Natasha's still stroked her hair, wrapping her fingers tentatively around her wrist and leaning into the touch. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her lips twisted into a pout. The woman went on tenderly, "It's okay, malyshka. I'm right here."
The girl sobbed then and fell forward into Natasha then, pressing her face into the crook of her neck. Natasha moved her hand to cradle the back of her head and wrapped her arm around Wanda's waist, pulling her closer to sit across her lap. Wanda held onto her like her like a lifeline, bawling away her fear into Natasha's collarbone. She let her get it all out, subconsciously rocking her and murmuring soothing things in Russian to her. Eventually the intensity of her tears began to wane and finally they stopped all together, leaving Wanda sagging against Natasha with the woman swaying them slightly. When they were both totally still, the woman asked, "Do you feel a little better?"
Wanda sniffled, "Da."
"Do you want to try and talk about it now?"
"No." Her fingers flexed where she gripped onto Natasha's shirt.
"Okay, that's alright." She would not push her to reveal anything tonight.
After a moment, Wanda asked in a barely-there voice, "You will stay?"
"Of course, malyshka. I'll stay. Let's lie down." Natasha urged her to let go for a moment so they could get under the covers. As soon as Natasha was settled, Wanda was pressed against her side and resting her head against her shoulder while the woman kept a comforting arm around her. Glancing down, the Black Widow saw Wanda had not closed her eyes, sort of just staring into the middle distance, and she wondered how often she simply did not go back to sleep after her nightmares. Then she noticed the book the teenager had from earlier in the day sitting on her nightstand and she got an idea, "How about I read to you for a bit?"
Wanda thought then nodded, rubbing her cheek against Natasha as she did so. She awkwardly reached for the book Little Women, trying her best not to dislodge Wanda from her spot, before they resettled once again. Not knowing where the girl left off, or if she had really read any of it, she started from the beginning, "Chapter One: Playing Pilgrim. 'Christmas won't be Christmas without any presents,' grumbled Jo, lying on the rug."
Her voice floating in the room, low and rhythmic as she read aloud to Wanda. Slowly but surely she felt the girl relax and would catch her eyes drooping closed until she completely fell asleep. Natasha set the book aside and FRIDAY knew to lower the lights as she rested further into the pillows, careful not to disturb Wanda. Closing her eyes, Natasha felt herself sink further into the mattress, already feeling more at rest in the last few seconds than she had in the past few weeks knowing Wanda was at ease for now, safely tucked in her arms.