Wanda lay in the calming, warm water that eased the ache in her bones from the cold that had settled in. With Natasha sitting next her on the outside of the tub holding her hand, she finally started to feel safe once again. Especially after the conversation that clarified so much for the young girl. Natasha would never hurt her. She was not in trouble anymore. And she did not have to leave Natasha, yet. She lay her cheek on Natasha arm as she tried to think about what it would be like living on the farm with Clint and his family.
The little witch felt herself tear up just at the thought of it. She knew Natasha said it was one of her favorite places and that Wanda would love it too but could not imagine liking it if it meant being apart from the woman. She could imagine it- a nice, quiet life with doting Clint and his kind wife who would take care of her along with their three children, treating her as if she were one of their own. And it would be nice and blandly pleasant, but it would never feel like she belonged there Wanda realized. Not like the way she belonged with Natasha, belonged to her in some ways. Large, helpless teardrops silently rolled down her face and the woman brought her hand up to gently cup Wanda's cheek, wiping away the tear drops with her thumb, "What's wrong, milaya?"
She did not know how to answer, did not know how to tell Natasha that she did not think she would ever be ready to go live on the farm, worried that it would disappoint her somehow. Instead she did her best to set aside the intrusive thoughts. Instead she replied with a sniffle, "Can I get out now?"
"Yes, you can get out." Natasha agreed quickly but still continued to study her for a moment longer as if she were searching for something amiss while she affectionately stroked her cheek, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm okay." Wanda managed to tamp down any remnant of her previous thoughts, letting herself just soak in the comfort of Natasha tenderly clearing away the last of her tears. The superspy seemingly conceded to Wanda's answer even though it sounded a little feeble even to her own ears, "Okay. I'll go get you some clothes while you dry off."
The woman started shifting back to allow her the space to stand and moving to stand herself. However, instinctually Wanda's grip tightened on Natasha's hand holding her in place. A spasm of panic that the woman would be leaving her seize her, her eyes begging for Natasha to stay with her. In her mind if she could hang onto Tasha, she would not poof away like before, or if she did maybe Tasha would be taken along with her. The woman placed her other hand over top their clasped ones, her fingertips stroking along the strained tendons of Wanda's hand as she said gently though leaving no room for argument. "You have to let go, sweetheart. It will be okay."
When Wanda made no effort to relax her grasp, Natasha carefully continued, "Do you remember what it felt like? Right before you teleported away?"
"I don't want to teleport ever again." Wanda immediately proclaimed, not certain why she would be asking her about that.
"Alright, we can talk about that later." Natasha glossed over her statement, trying to keep her at ease as she asked, "But do you feel like that? Like you might teleport?"
Wanda remembered the blind panic, the dizzying fear from before but it did not grip her now and she shook her head in the negative. Smiling encouragingly Natasha said, "See? You're not going anywhere. And when you do feel like that or like you might teleport, I promise I won't let go, okay? But you know we can't always be touching, right?"
Slowly the little witch nodded in understanding. She knew Tasha was right but at the same time disliked it immensely.
"Okay, let's go." The Black Widow confirmed, pressing a kiss to her forehead, an action Wanda had come to like immensely. It spread a feeling of warmth through her, seeming to imbue her with courage that she had not previously had. And Tasha did not hurry away immediately as she helped her to stand, wrapped a towel around her, and assisted her in stepping out of the tub onto the plush bathmat under her feet. "I'll be right back. You can wait on the bed."
Waiting for Wanda's hands to fall from her, she then turned and disappeared out the door. The girl froze for a moment, waiting to see if the bad feeling came back. She felt uncomfortable, or maybe a distant feeling of uneasiness but nothing like the terrible fear that had pulled her away. Diligently she focused on drying herself off, then rewrapped the towel around her and pulled her hair down from the messy bun Natasha had put it in. When finished she went out and sat on the edge of the bed like Tasha told her to, looking around the room.
She liked Natasha's room. It was a lot like the woman who slept there, minimally decorated but elegant with surprising elements of warm colors and dark wood. Wanda considered the best part was how it smelled like her, like amber and cardamom and comfort. The nights that she had been allowed to sleep in here with the superspy had been the best sleep she had since Pietro died. It was not a collapse into blackness where when she woke the tiredness still weighing down her mind, nor was it the erratic sleep interrupted by night terrors and screams. And even if she had one, Natasha was there to listen and talk her through it, or to read her back to sleep, or simply to run her fingers through her hair until she could gently nod off once again. At least right now, the fact that she would be able to share bed with Natasha for so long was what she looked forward to most about their upcoming trip.
"Here we go." Natasha came back suddenly. Her eyes appeared a little glassy and Wanda realized that was gone for a bit longer than necessary for just grabbing her clothing from a drawer. As she put on the pajamas the woman handed her, the witch tentatively grazed her aura; she felt mostly like her usual self, initially shrouded in stoicism then underneath that tenderness, strength and heat however now there were traces of something worried and frazzled. Once she finished dressing, Natasha asked her to sit and instructed, "Let me see your feet, milaya."
The girl took a seat and watched as the Russian knelt in front of her and lifted one of her feet, looking it over then doing the same to the same to the other one. With her foot still in hand, Natasha placed the other on her hip in a posture of contemplation. With slightly exaggerated seriousness and a little shake of her head said, "I don't know, milaya. Looks like we'll have to have these removed."
She felt a gentle pinch in her toe and saw a teasing smile playing at the corners of her lips, further indication the woman was trying to make her smile. It was working but she did not want to give in that easily, the way Natasha could so finely control her expression. Doing her best to smother her grin, she groaned, "Tasha.."
"Can you feel this?" Natasha held her foot up a little further and use her other hand to run a finger up the arch of her foot.
"Tasha, no." The smile popped onto her face, and she giggled as she tried to pull her foot away. Natasha held on but stopped tickling her.
Pretending to misunderstand Wanda's protest, she poised her finger to run it up her foot once more, "No, you can't feel it? Should I test again?"
"No, Tasha, I can feel it." Wanda squirmed to try and evade her, giggling more with anticipation.
"Okay," The woman said still slightly keeping up her charade. "You can keep them for now."
She took the wool socks she had tucked into her palm and pulled them onto Wanda's feet, mindlessly running her fingers up Wanda's calves as she stood then offering her a hand as she announce, "I know I said Thai tonight but it's getting late, so Steve will make us some grilled cheese sandwiches. We can get the curry tomorrow, sound good?"
"Sounds good.." Wanda agreed. The spy was acting normally, always doing her utmost to care for her and taking a chance to see her happy, but Wanda could not help but think about whatever might be bothering the older woman. As she stood she tried to think of a way she could help her, even in a small way, "Tasha?"
"Yes?"
"I can help with the dishes." When she made the suggestion, Natasha smiled broadly, more genuinely than before and Wanda felt a rush of satisfaction having been able to make her feel better, perhaps having gained some approval at the same time.
Putting an arm around Wanda and pulling her into her side, she confirmed, "Sure milaya, you can help with the dishes."
They walked out to the kitchen where Steve was stirring a pot of tomato soup. As the ladies entered them he greeted them a little softer than usual, "Hey, how you doing kid?"
"I'm okay." Wanda said as evenly as possible, not wanting to leave any doubt or room for discussion, while Natasha sat her down at one of the stools at the island.
The redhead eyed Steve's progress with dinner, "How about I take over?"
The Sokovian peered over at what Captain America had accomplished, which was one rather blackened looking sandwich. With a sheepish expression, Steve nodded, resignation tinting his voice, "I think that's for the best."
Wanda tracked Natasha's movements as she took Steve's spot at the stove, taking the spoon he used to continue stirring the soup, immediately turning the burner down when she glanced inside. As she watched the agent spilt her attention to buttering slices of bread, Steve appeared beside her, "Mind if I sit with you?"
The man had a certain endearing clumsiness in his approach with Wanda. Where Natasha could practically anticipate her needs before Wanda realized she had them, Steve would announce his intentions, check-in, ask permission, being ever so careful with her. And while it led to some awkwardness hanging between them for brief moments, Wanda appreciated his sometimes overly considerate efforts. Suddenly she remembered that Natasha told her she could ask Steve if he would come to the Barton farm with them and the task was enough to distract her that the woman was across the room. She nodded and gave him her full attention, "Steve, I have a question."
"What's your question?" He folded his hands on the counter in front of him like he was prepared to do business.
"Me and Tasha are going to the farm for Christmas. Will you come with us? Please?" Wanda tacked on the word as she stared up at him questioningly. She had not celebrated any holiday in a long time, but from what she knew about them it was time to spend celebrating with your family. She did not know if Steve considered her his family, but him and Tasha and the others were the closest people she had to family now. And Steve was like her, all of his family was gone, she did not want him to spend the holidays alone.
"Of course, sweetheart. I'd love to come spend Christmas with you guys." Steve seemed pleased and this pleased Wanda, "I think it will be a real special time."
The girl considered this then decided, "I think so too."
With her endeavor complete, the little witch found her gaze drifting back to Natasha however Steve was distracting her once again as he slid over the shark edition of National Geographics that had wound up on the counter. "You've been reading about sharks?"
"I like to look at the pictures.. some of the words are too hard." Wanda confessed as she shifted to tuck one foot underneath her butt so she could sit up a little higher and place her elbows on the counter better to see the pages Steve began to flip through.
"I can read some of it to you if you'd like." The man stopped on a page with images of sharks floating through the ocean with little blurbs of white text against the blue water. Nodding, Wanda leaned in closer to Steve and he pointed to one of the small paragraphs. "This one says sharks have been around for a very long time. Based on fossil scales found in Australia and the United States, scientists believe sharks first appeared in the ocean around 455 million years ago."
"Fossil?" Wanda searched for the word in vocabulary but came up blank.
"Iskopayemoye." Natasha supplied for her in Russian then added cheekily. "Steve should know a lot about fossils since he is one."
"You know what Romanoff one of these days you're going to hurt my feelings." But he said it with a hint of a smile.
"And on that day Rogers, I will beg your forgiveness." She said airily then raised an eyebrow at him. "But today?"
"Today you're rescuing dinner." Steve said and his smile grew into full-blown fondness as he looked back down at the magazine and Natasha turned back to stove to flip the sandwich that sizzled in the skillet. He returned to reading some facts to Wanda, telling her the different species as she pointed to them- tiger shark, great white, hammerhead. Until finally Natasha was pushing plates across the island with sandwiches and bowls of soup, telling them to put it away for now. Wanda withdrew from Steve, not realizing they had been sitting so close her arm had been pressed against his, but he had not seemed put off by it. Natasha sat on her other side. Wanda and they started to eat their dinners.
Steve had two grilled cheese, one Natasha made for him and the burnt one he had made. He claimed he liked the extra crunch and tried to get the girls to try it, but they just turned him down and laughed at him. After dinner, Steve hung around and chatted with them while Natasha washed the dishes and Wanda watched how she did so for future reference as she dried them. When the last pot was put away, the Black Widow declared it bedtime and Wanda felt herself swaying a little on her feet and she resisted falling into the woman. Natasha took her hand though and started walking them back to their hall, Steve following behind to go to his rooms until he peeled off from them saying goodnight to them both.
Once in the corridor with their rooms, Wanda slowed down her pace, so much so she began to lag behind and Natasha stopped them. Instead of getting a lecture about sleeping on her own like she expected, Natasha kissed her temple, "Go wash your face and brush your teeth. Then you can come in with me tonight."
The girl hurried off at that. She went to her room, going to her nightstand first to put the shark magazine back into the drawer. Her eyes scanned the other items held there out of habit- her sunglasses, two books, and three magazines. Then she rushed through her nighttime routine so she could climb into bed with Natasha and snuggle into her open arms.
/
The next day a cellphone arrived for Wanda along with shiny red case for it. The little witch sat with her chin on Natasha's shoulder as the woman showed her how to use it. She now could call and text and look things up on the internet, though Natasha asked that she stay off any social media platforms. Wanda did not know what she would do with any social media accounts, so she agreed with the woman.
She only had five numbers in her phone put in by Natasha and each with their own customized emoji for each- Clint with an arrow, Sam with a falcon, Sharon with an umbrella, Steve with a stack of pancakes, and Tasha with a spider, though Wanda thought she would prefer the red heart for her. Wanda even started with some texts the others; an action encouraged by Natasha so the team members could have Wanda's phone number as well. She sent the same message of 'Hello, this is Wanda.' to everyone to which she got varying responses:
Clint: Great! Can't wait to see you, kiddo!
Steve: (thumbs up emoji)
Sam: Welcome to the 21st century!
Sharon: Hey, Wanda! Sam told me about what happened, I hope you're doing alright. Text or call me for anything even if it's just to talk.
Tasha: Hi, milaya.
The woman texted her back even though they had been sitting right next to each other on Wanda's bed. Wanda had not responded to any of the new messages yet, but the redhead said she did not have to right away if she did not want to. So setting her phone aside, Natasha started to help her packing a suitcase for their trip. The Black Widow pulled a variety of clothing from her dresser and closet while Wanda neatly packed them a black suitcase lying next to her on the bed. As she folded up a dress and Natasha rifled through her sweater drawer, the girl looked over to her nightstand, "Can I bring my books? My glasses?"
"You can if you want to milaya, but we'll come back to finish packing before going to the Compound. You don't have bring everything now." Natasha said as she brought over a few sweaters.
"Will I have to put the magazines back?"
"You can take them. No one will miss them here. We can see about bringing the whole collection along too." The witch was happy to hear this, however she thought she would take everything just in case.
Natasha must have caught the expression on her face because she lowered herself onto the bed next to Wanda instead of going back to taking clothing out of the dresser, "Still a little worried about heading out to the farm?"
"Not worried.. maybe cautious." The girl looked for her favorite lounge sweater, the one with the SHIELD logo, but did not see it in the case.
"It's okay to be cautious.. But is there anything I can do to help?" She asked.
Wanda shook her head no, unable to voice her thought that Natasha already was helping. The woman said okay with a smile but then went on with an exceedingly practical tone, "There was something I wanted to ask you before we go."
She could not help but tense up, which the Widow picked up on immediately as she soothed, "Nothing bad. You're not in trouble. It's just something we have not really talked about before and I just want to talk about it with you to better understand."
"Alright." Wanda said with upbeat uncertainty.
"I wanted to talk a little bit about your powers." This only caused Wanda to tense up more than before. She felt Natasha bring her hand to her jaw and direct her face toward her until she was looking her in the eyes. "Nothing bad, malyshka.."
When the little witch nodded, she dropped her hand and continued, "Yesterday was the first time I've really seen you use your powers since you've gotten here."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." The girl immediately stated, worrying her lip between her teeth.
"I appreciate the apology, but it's okay, that's not why we're talking about it." Natasha told her as she covered her hand that had curled into a fist on her thigh. Wanda stayed still though, not turning into the contact the woman offered. The redhead did not push but she did not withdraw either as she went on, "It's just you hadn't lost control before so I wanted to see if anything else could have contributed to it."
Wanda did not really want to think about it as she shrugged her shoulders. Tasha was not easily deterred as she formed a different approach, "Okay.. Does anything happen when you don't use your powers for a while?"
"No," The Sokovian paused though, taking a moment to think about it. "Not really, but it.. does not feel good."
"Does it hurt?"
"No, not hurt- It's like when you sit down for too long. Uncomfortable, fuzzy…" She trailed off unable to verbalize anymore.
"Restless?"
"Yes, restless. It's not always, I can forget the feeling." Like when a song got stuck in your head, as annoying as it was in the moment it would inevitably fade away.
"Do you think that might have contributed to you losing control and the teleportation?" Natasha proposed.
"I don't know." However then Wanda thought about it and remembered the buzzing sensation under her skin that had been a little more persistent over the previous days. The feeling had dissipated now, or perhaps had been released when she puffed herself across town and alleviated some of the tension. Her eyes found Natasha's again, "Maybe.. probably."
With her patient concern, Natasha asked, "If keeping your powers in gets uncomfortable, why haven't you been using them?"
"I didn't know if I was allowed." The girl admitted.
There was a beat as the Black Widow considered what to say next, but she ended up coming up with another question, "You're powers are like a part of you, right?"
"Yes." The magic flowed through her like the blood in her veins.
"I wouldn't tell you that you weren't allowed to use your legs anymore. I wouldn't ask Steve to stop using his arms. The rule is only to not use your powers to invade people's privacy. You can use your powers when it's an extension of your body."
"Extension of my body?" Wanda's brow wrinkled in confusion.
Natasha looked up in a thoughtful expression as she listed examples, "Like you could use them to get a book from a high shelf in the library or flip a light switch at the end of the hall, stop your hot chocolate from spilling, or.."
She pointed to Wanda's open closet. "Grab your boots to pack for the trip."
Only after the briefest hesitation, the red tendrils tumbled easily from her hand, wrapping around her boots, and the shoes floated up and across the room to land gently in the suitcase. Natasha smiled proudly at her, "Good, milaya. If you're not sure you should do something with your powers you can ask me. And if you think it will be okay to use them I trust you to make that decision."
"You- You're not scared?" Wanda asked in a small voice.
"I'm not scared of your powers, Wanda. I'm not afraid of you." She turned Wanda's hand over and unfurled her fingers. Instead of holding Wanda's hand though she hovered hers over it. The little witch understood what she was asking her to do. Peering at Natasha searchingly, she looked for a trace of fear however only found the usual tenderness with touch of sadness, like a mirror behind her eyes. Then she unleashed a blossom of her magic in her palm, the strands curling and spiraling upward to brush along the woman's palm. Wanda sighed a little at the sensation. It felt like all of Natasha's touches- the protective, the gentle, the casual, the encompassing- all put together, the outcome becoming greater than the sum of its parts. Natasha had a wonder-filled grin now as she watched the magic and wave her fingers over it, "See? Not scared."
"I can use them to hold your hand?" The Russian had given practical examples, and none of them involving touching others with her magic, but she was touching it now so maybe if she asked it would be okay. Before answering, Tasha moved her fingers delicately against the magic for a few seconds longer then started to lower her hand into Wanda's while the girl let the red diminish as if it were the woman's hand that pushed it down. Until finally their hands were clasped, and the red magic was a small, pulsing ball of warmth between their palms, they could not see but feel, "Yes, malyshka. I like how you hold my hand."
Natasha lifted their hands and placed a kiss on the back of Wanda's. The teenager rested her head against the woman's shoulder then, trying to press her gratefulness and affection for the Avenger into her. Natasha's other hand came up to run her fingers through Wanda's locks as they sat together for a moment. It ended when Natasha pressed a quick kiss in her hair and started to pull away. "Alright, let's finish up here and then you can come help me pack my bag."
"Okay." Wanda nodded and watched as the agent went back to sorting through her drawers, then asked, "Can we bring my SHIELD sweater?"
"Of course, milaya. It's in the wash but it'll be done before tomorrow morning. You can wear it on the jet to make sure we have it." Natasha said, distractedly gathering socks, like that had been the plan all along.