He made his way through the set, admiring the recreation of his second home all those years ago. Even after seventeen years, it looked exactly the same, down to the last detail. He was instantly transported back in time, where he started to relive countless old memories - table reads, camera blocking, and laughing so hard with the cast that they cried...but mostly of her. Jen encompassed all of his most happy and most painful moments of those ten years, all combined into one.

He hadn't seen her in person in so long, but they had spent countless hours on Zoom chats and Facetime calls over the past number of months while planning this reunion. These frequent talks with Jen turned up some feelings that he had been repressing for almost half of his life now. Perhaps it was because he was older now, or maybe he had just developed a different perspective, but there was something about their interactions. He couldn't help but feel a spark between them again. In a way, it was like no time had passed at all. Except this time, it was different - they were both single. He knew it would be a long shot, but he wondered in the back of his mind if maybe now, after all these years, it would finally be the right time for them.

While planning the reunion with Ben, he pitched the idea of openly discussing not just Ross and Rachel, but the off-screen chemistry between the two of them. In all the interviews the two of them had ever given, this had never been discussed so openly, despite the countless times he had forced himself to change the subject because he couldn't mask a smile, or Jen had stumbled on her words and come close to spilling the truth. He admitted to Ben about his old crush in hopes that he would pitch the idea to her and it could give them the opportunity to explore their feelings off-screen. Turns out, she not only agreed to it, but admitted her feelings to Ben as well. Now they were finally here and it was happening and he was nothing but a bundle of nerves and excitement all wrapped into one. He was dying to see her.

His thoughts were brought back to reality as he heard someone else walking into the set. He could recognize that laugh anywhere.

Lisa.

His nerves softened at the sight of her. She always had that effect on him. She was the person he had remained closest with through the years and he was so thankful for her friendship. They spent some time reminiscing and joking as they explored the set together. Suddenly he heard a laugh from the other side of the building. He didn't even need to look to know who it was.

"Floosh!"

He knew that voice anywhere. He was filled with anticipation as he peeked around the corner. They had seen each other only a handful of times in the past 17 years. They both had been married and life and pulled them in very different directions. But somehow, the thought of seeing her, hell, just hearing her voice, made his heart flutter.

Jen. She was gorgeous. Her blonde hair swept perfectly across her shoulders. Her eyes were already filled with tears because, well, it's Jen. He assumed being back here would make her pretty emotional, and it didn't take long to see that he was right.

He stood back while she hugged Lisa and he couldn't stop the huge grin from spreading across his face. As soon as her eyes met his own, his heart began to race. Hell, he could be running for his life and his heart would still race even faster whenever she looked at him. She had always had that effect on him, and even after all this time, some things never change.

Her eyes contained a soft warmth that felt like home when he looked at her. This was the most at home he had felt in years. She made her way towards him and hugged him tightly. He impulsively kissed her cheek as he held on to her. Feeling her in his arms again elicited so many feelings, a beautiful mix of old and new. Without any hesitation, there was only one thing he knew to do. As he hugged her tight, he kissed her hair and gently squeezed her upper arm two times.

He waited for a response but didn't feel one. Instead, he heard a soft sob against his shoulder. He held her tightly, and then pulled away so he could see her. Her glistening tear-filled eyes met his and he was filled with an unmistakable desire to protect her. He reached for her hand but she quickly pulled away. Instead, she held her hand up and started to walk away.

"No, I can't."

The way her eyes had burned into his, silently pleading with him, haunted him.

"Jen- wait, what?"

He stopped himself, knowing that the truth would deafen him. He was at a loss. He was so sure that this would finally be it for them - that it would finally be their time. She had seemed so into him any time they talked. Apparently he was very wrong. And now he'd have to get through this entire goddamn reunion with her. He looked towards the camera crew.

"Hey, can we cut?"

It really did feel like the old days all over again. But not in the good way, in the worst way - when he had to pretend he was okay after she had chosen someone else.

--

{ 2004 }

He stood in the living room with his castmates for the very last time as she stood behind him with her arms draped around his neck. This was the very last scene the six of them would ever shoot together. It was difficult, and to be honest, he just wanted it to be over. He was never one to show emotion and this was about to get the best of him. The finality of his relationship with Jen could not be more loud and clear. They hadn't spoken a word to each other since the devastating final scene they had just shot together. There are some people that are impossible to let go of, no matter how hard you try. But at the same time, it's just as hard to have them in your life. Jen was one of those people.

At one point in his life, he was certain that Jen was the one for him. Even though the timing wasn't right, he was so certain that eventually time would be on their side, the stars would align, and they would have their happily ever after. But then she met Brad. He charmed her right into his arms quicker than David could blink. Now, nearly five years later, she was married and he was still going home alone every night thinking about her. He realized that he had been delusional to assume that someone like Jen would wait that long for him. Of course she moved on. It killed him that he couldn't be what she wanted him to be for her.

They still got along great at work. In fact, the cast jokingly called her his 'work wife'. Their connection was undeniable and their chemistry was off the charts. But once she got married, he knew his chances with her were over. She still gave him 'the sign' when they were shooting, but it felt like it had just become an affectionate gesture between friends. He wanted her to mean it, but he knew he had no business asking that of a married woman, so he stopped giving it all together, and she soon followed suit.

Things started to slowly shift towards the end of the series. He started to notice a twinge of sadness any time Brad's name was spoken. He started to notice that she was alone quite often. He couldn't help but suspect there were some issues starting to arise between them, but he never asked. It wasn't his place.

--

The cameras rolled as she got off the plane and Ross and Rachel finally got their happy ending. As he kissed her for the last time, he poured everything he had into it, desperate to let her know how much she meant to him. As they wrapped their arms around each other, he was hit with the realization that this truly would be the last time for them. Being with Jen had become so second-nature. He needed her like air. He held her tightly, and without thinking twice, he squeezed her arm two times. In the same moment, Jen completely unraveled on him. She began to sob as she flung her arms tightly around him. He knew they had blown the scene, but neither of them cared, and more importantly, neither of them wanted to let go. Even after the director yelled "cut", they held each other like their lives depended on it, knowing that the moment they let go, it would all be over. As he kissed her hair and prepared to pull away, he felt two light squeezes on his neck.

--

He had recently made the decision to move back to New York City - to get out of the spotlight, to be someone other than Ross, and to start over… away from her. The past five years had been a never-ending struggle. There is no greater pain than watching the woman you love fall in love with somebody else. He hoped time would make it easier… but it didn't. One moment he and Jen would be happy and laughing in their own little world, and the next, she was mentioning Brad, and tearing him apart over how much it hurt to be in the same room with her. This unending spiral made him question whether being close to her was worth it. He existed in a constant state of uncertainty over whether staying was the right thing to do because any time he thought about leaving her, his heart shattered. As much as it hurt to see her happy with someone else, when he imagined his life without her in it, it felt like an even worse form of torture. But he knew deep down that the longer he held on to her, the more he would prolong the pain; the more he would delay his own heartbreak.

He tried to move on for years. He tried so hard to put all of his energy into other relationships. At one point, he even thought he would go the distance, but at the end of the day, he was faced with the reality that he couldn't handle a serious relationship until he had his entire heart to give to someone. He couldn't just replace lost love and trick his heart into thinking it was healed. His heart still belonged to her, and as the show was wrapping up and they were starting to move on with their lives, he wondered if it always would.