WARNING: Slight depictions of self harm.

Last Chapter:

Bashfully, she leaned up and gave him a small kiss.

"I love you, Inuyasha." He instantly leaned down for more, but she drew away with a chuckle. "I'm gonna go clean up now."

He was helpless to stare as she sauntered away. Wondering how in the hell he had gotten her to love him. That was the third time she'd said it today. He reached for his chest and rubbed, the feeling overwhelming as he cleared the lump in his throat and blinked the suddenly stinging haze in his eyes.

After all this time, she was finally with him.

And she loved him.

Kagome couldn't help but close her eyes and sigh as she settled into the tub. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to wash away her troubled thoughts. Behind closed lids, scenes from the burned village emerged with a heaviness that darkened her spirit. Her arrows splitting through flesh sunk her heart deeper into the chasm of sadness she now found herself in.

Although she had attempted to wash at the river, she still felt dirty. Kagome lifted her trembling hands as emotions began overtaking her. Water dripped back into the dark pool as she inspected her nails. They had darkened with dry, crusted blood. Her vision lost focus as her mind detached itself, her hand reached clumsily for a yellow porous sponge and she scrubbed at her hands, arms, legs, and torso. It felt good, the physical pain from her chafed skin rushed away the pain from her heart temporarily. The guilt and anguish still there, but now less prevailing. So she kept scrubbing until there was a rapt on the screen doors, Inuyasha's worried voice calling out to her, "Kagome?"

She froze immediately, his voice bringing her mind back to her body as she refocused, zeroing in on the blood splotching all over her skin like razor burns. Her breath caught at the sight, and she raised a surprised hand to her cheek, startled yet again as she felt tears running over her flushed skin.

"I'm coming in," he said roughly, concern clear in his voice as he slid the shoji screen open. She didn't even see him move before he was at her side, his clawed hands brushing away her tears and then inspecting her shaking, blood pricked hands. "Kagome…" he whispered, guilt gnawing at his insides.

Kagome visibly crumpled before him, her face scrunching up and body bending forward as she covered her eyes and cried, "I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay," Inuyasha reassured softly, reaching out to her hunched back, the only patch of skin she had managed to not destroy.

He completely understood how she felt. Memories flashed of when he had first turned into a full demon, massacring humans without thought or control. Kagome had accepted him still, and stayed by his side as the guilt ate him up inside.

So he rubbed her moist back smoothly, trying to comfort her as best he could. And he waited, filling her with comforting words as she shook under his touch, crying until her eyes ran dry. Exhausted, she leaned towards him and he reached an arm around her, holding her tight as he kissed the top of her head, the wooden basin the only thing between them.

"Thank you," Kagome whispered. She laughed a hollow empty sound, "I'm such a mess."

He shook his head against her. "I get it," he said roughly, swallowing back the sudden heaviness in his throat. He worried about how to say the right thing, since he was so horrible with words. He was used to action, fighting, not explaining. But for her, he tried his best. "I-" he hesitated, "I remember my first time too." He felt Kagome stiffen slightly in his arm. "It's not easy, I know it isn't. It won't help you feel better now, but... you actually saved people, Kagome. You had no choice."

Inuyasha heard Kagome swallow, and felt her nod her head. "But," she whispered, "I still… how can you even look at me, touch me?" She tried to pull away, her tears running anew, but he kept her firm against him.

"How could you look at me?" He retorted, his hand smoothing carefully over a raw pink shoulder, mirroring how she had comforted him three years ago. Kagome bit back a hiss at the pain. "How could you touch me?"

Kagome's breath was caught yet again, "but you... you had lost control. I… I made the decision to-"

"To save families and children, Kagome!" He didn't yell, but made his voice firm and gruff, almost desperate to make sure she heard the seriousness of his proclamation, the truth behind his words. "Ain't nothin' black and white. You made a sacrifice to save them."

Scrunching her puffy red eyes, Kagome lifted her hand to grasp his on her shoulder desperately. Their position from so many years ago the same, yet reversed. His heat felt like it was bringing her to life again. Her body continued to weep, shaking against her command, but he lifted her spirit again, even if just a bit. "Thank you," she whispered, swallowing her shame. She cupped water into her other hand and washed it over her face. "You're so amazing," she admitted softly, so thankful for the strength he gave.

Inuyasha scoffed, his golden eyes finally noticing the bare skin of her shoulder, his gaze growing hungry at the sight. Beads of water clutched at her, some leaving wet trails as they rushed back into the cooling water. His face suddenly burned at the thought of kissing her there. Would that be okay? They had already kissed so many times. She had let him love her neck before, lavish it, suckle at it, so… would she be okay if he kissed her from behind?

All his senses zeroed in on her at once, trying to read her body. She had stopped shaking, her breaths calm once again, and tears washed and gone. So he experimented with a clawed hand, reaching out to cup a shoulder blade with his hot open palm, dragging his thumb down the wet trail leading into the tub.

She immediately tensed under his touch, gasping before whispering his name.

"Kagome," he whispered back, "can I… can I-"

"Yes!" she declared softly. Eager for him to fill the dark pain in her with his light.

The juncture of her neck called to him almost desperately. Inuyasha had to tear his eyes away from the thrum of her veins to stake claim to the porcelain skin of her back. It moved like smooth waves over rippling muscle. His mouth went dry, sliver lashes lowering as he leaned towards her, deep golden eyes closing as he tasted her, his thin lips pressing softly. Her flavor rushed through his senses like an aphrodisiac. He savored her slowly, closed-mouthed, then grew with fervor, suddenly hungry for more. He licked from the bottom of her scapula to the top of her spine. His fangs nipping gingerly at her shoulder as she gasped and arched into him, her hand moving from his to the nape of his neck. Her blunt nails scraping softly, teasing into his skin, pulling at his hypnotizing silver locks.

They were on fire, heating unbelievably with want, desire. Thinking became laborious. Instinct led them as Inuyasha snaked an open palm over her exposed chest. She jutted out of the water with each labored breath, rocking cool waves into them, nips rigid with need. He teased, prodded, pulled. Kagome keened against him, the new experience blowing all troubled thoughts from her mind. Their breaths became labored, Inuyasha gasping behind her with his sudden want for her. The heat of his breath burned deliciously on her shoulder.

Kagome couldn't take it anymore. Three years of waiting, wanting, hoping. She turned to face him, the tub and water the only things separating them. Liquid spilled over the rim at her sudden movement. Inuyasha backed up in surprise. Kagome reached soft slim fingers and brushed them over his jaw and cheeks. Her eyes were bright, blue, and determined. She looked feral, absolutely divine. Her hair wild, skin glistening in the dark.

Laboured breath moulded her delicate mounds, enticing his honeyed eyes.

She didn't bother asking. Kagome angled herself and captured his lips. They both inhaled at once, savoring their individual scents to memory. They breathed deep, their skin losing all meaning between beginning and end. Inuyasha, the scent of wilderness, trees, and air. Kagome, the scent of jasmine, the unrelenting grounding of the freshness of earth, the purity of mother nature.

Almost like in a trance, they began touching, feeling, tasting. Kagome was already halfway out of the water, Inuyasha running his palms all over her when she pulled back with a hiss. His hands left her immediately, hooded eyes clearing with concern. "Kagome?"

She grimaced, looking away shily as she hugged herself, raw skin burning from his attention. "I guess I scrubbed myself a little too hard," a soft smile left her pink cheeks.

Inuyasha chuckled and pushed a wet lock behind her ear, "idiot." He moved back to stand, his thundering heart starting to relax. "Finish up then." He walked to the shoji, sliding it open, "don't do anything stupid."

Kagome watched him leave with ravishing eyes. She couldn't help it. He was so incredibly handsome, so beautiful, so broad and masculine. She was so damn lucky. Sure her skin burned, but her desire burned deeper. Immediately, she regretted the abuse she had given herself while trying to chase away the mental pain. She could still feel the lingering phantom of his kisses, his touch. It had been absolutely voracious. How long would it take for her skin to heal so they could continue where they left off?

~-CAM-~

The sun had almost completely slipped into the horizon when Kagome finally emerged. Inuyasha had been preparing vegetables for dinner while Kagome cleaned up. When she left the bathing room, he had to fight a burning blush and rip wide golden eyes away from her as she walked into the main room dressed in a white sleeping kimono. It was intimate, far too intimate than he was used to. And what they had done just moments before still had his blood hot in his veins. He bit the inside of his cheek as he turned back to his task, hyper aware of all the rustling her clothes made as she put the miko robes he had procured for her into a nearby chest.

He heard her inhale and then release a languid sigh, "mmm." Her voice sounded like molten butter. "What is that," she asked in sleepy tones.

Inuyasha blinked a few times, forcing his blush down as he finished cutting carrots, onions, green peppers, nori, and mushrooms to add to his boiling stew of shrimp, scallops, soy sauce, and noodles. "A year and a half after," he swallowed a bit harshly from the memory, "after you were taken back. There was a vendor from the mainland selling noodles."

He felt Kagome carefully wrap her arms around him as she peeked behind his shoulder to his kitchen counter. The fresh scent of her clean skin was almost intoxicating. Inuyasha swore his heart beat had tripled. "Noodles," she asked, interest peaked. He pushed all the veggies with a knife into a large bowl and nodded. Her arms shook around him with humor, eyes twinkling as he turned in her arms. "Inuyasha!" She wiped at the corner of a wet eye, "you found a way to make ramen!"

"Yeah," he shrugged, averting his eyes in a sudden bout of sheepishness. "It was made by some guy named.." he scrunched his face as he looked at the ceiling in thought, "Mark Plo?"

He marveled at the sight of Kagome throwing her gorgeous face back and laughing so pleasantly. After a few short chuckles where he managed to screw his face back up in a vexing expression, Kagome seemed to gather herself, holding onto his bicep as she wiped tears away with her free hand. "You - you mean Marco Polo?" Her eyes wide with wonderment, "you met the Marco Polo?! And made your own ramen?!"

Vexed, he shrugged her off him, stalking to the boiling pot and dropping the ingredients to the succulent broth. "I can do lots more than just ramen," he said stubbornly, sitting on a cushion next to the fire as she joined him.

A soft smile that actually reached her cheeks was her response. "Is that so?"

He almost sighed with relief. He was truly worried about her mental state. He knew it was going to take her a while to get over what had happened. It definitely left a scar when he had done it. He was determined to help her get through it, no matter what.

"Hell yeah!" He hollered, chest puffing up as he closed his eyes with a confident fang toothed smirk. He curled an arm, the sleeve rolling to his elbow as he jutted a thumb to himself, "I've built bridges and houses!"

Kagome stared at him with wide eyes, sparkling with pride and admiration. She asked him about which bridges he had built, he told her about the ones in town he worked on, promising to show her in the next few days, along with the homes he learned to make, and finally explaining how he had built this one with his own planned layout.

Inuyasha reached a wooden spoon into the pot of ramen and mixed it.

"It smells sooo good!" Kagome leaned in, closing her eyes to whiff the comforting aroma.

Inuyasha chuckled, "wanna taste?"

"Yes please!"

Kagome got up to her knees as Inuyasha pulled the spoon out of the pot, blowing the broth and contents until he deemed it cool enough. The white sleeves of her sleeping hakama slid back on her arms as she cupped her hands around the serving spoon, helping him lead it to her lips as she sipped. The comforting taste of warm veggies, seafood, and soy had her melt helplessly back onto her cushion. "Mmmm," she couldn't resist. "So good!"

"Better than ramen?"

A coy smile and bashful eyes swayed his way, "so much better."

Inuyasha couldn't help but steal a kiss from her then. Dipping his lips quickly onto hers, the flavors of his stew lingered on her, his mouth savoring every lick, suckle, and bite. She tasted astounding. At that moment, he decided he would have to cook for her more often.

When he pulled away, he took her breath with him.

Kagome blushed bashfully as she observed his hooded golden eyes, his white lashes swaying gracefully into his irises. His pupils were blown with need. Her heart thundered as she watched him lick his bottom lip. She wanted more, so much more. But her skin was still so painfully raw. So Kagome looked away, forcing herself from his attention. "Why don't you wash up too? I'll make sure to take the pot off the fire when the soup's done."

Inuyasha lingered for a moment before grunting stubbornly, understanding the predicament she was in, and gathered his things before entering the bathing room.

~-CAM-~

The meal Inuyasha made was absolutely glorious. Kagome was pleasantly surprised, especially since Inuyasha always needed her to cook their meals in the past. It seemed that he needed some time to grow and learn to prepare his own food, and as an adult male, he had finally accomplished that. It was better than eating fish from the river day in and day out.

Belly's full, Inuyasha led her into the back room where she had seen his futon; his bedroom. "Sleep here," he said gruffly. "I'll keep watch."

Kagome flushed a color she never managed before. The room smelled like him. Wilderness, trees - pine, sandalwood, and fresh clean air. Not only that, but his individual deep musky scent. The handsome scent of man… of Inuyasha. Kagome burrowed herself deep into his sheets, lifting it onto her nose and drinking in his aroma.

She was exhausted, and sleep claimed her instantly.

~-CAM-~

Deep into the night, Kagome's scream rattled Inuyasha into attention. He rushed to her side, trying to wake her thrashing form. Tears ran down her face as her arms swung wildly, his blankets tangled around her legs. His ears pressed down to his head, "Kagome," he hissed, "wake up!"

But she didn't hear him, and she kept on struggling with her nightmare, her lips making unintelligible words. So Inuyasha grabbed her shoulders softly, his hair draping over them. "Noo," she mumbled, "sorry… nooo…!"

"Kagome!" He yelled. He felt her reiki start building up, it tingled and sparked against his flesh, emitting a pink glow and an unnatural wind into the dark room. He hissed at the feel of it, not hurting him just yet, but definitely uncomfortable.

Kagome's back arched, her legs curling as she threw out an arm, yelling again and almost hitting him in the face. Inuyasha's eyes grew wide in alarm, not really knowing what to do. So he yanked her up into a sitting position in his arms, the momentum snapping her awake. He wrapped his arms around her tightly as she struggled to catch her breath. Unseeing eyes cleared against his robes. Her breath left her in a rush, her body quivering from her nightmare, tears streaming with terror and grief.

"It's okay, Kagome," Inuyasha whispered, so relieved she was finally awake.

But Kagome kept crying, flashes of burned bodies and her arrows striking flesh replaying over and over. The screams, the smells. 'I killed them.' She felt like she was drowning, the horror of her actions taking over. They had come alive in her mind, accusing her, reaching their charred limbs in her direction, asking her why. In the darkness, it felt like she could still see them. It was like being swallowed into the void with the shikon jewel.

Kagome panicked, clutching at Inuyasha's robes frantically. "Light," she pleaded, "I need light, please."

"Okay."

The sound of Inuyasha's robes kept her attention, trying to focus on him to drive away her fears. The sound of flint hitting echoed by her ears and then a lantern came to life. Inuyasha brought it close to them, but kept it a safe distance enough to not knock it over. Without hesitating, he returned to her, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight, wiping away her tears and fears, whispering to her until they both fell asleep in each other's arms. Body's tangled intimately, comforting, deep into the night.

(A/N)

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