Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210. None to Lost Boys Life written by Darren and Chuck Criss, performed by Computer Games, producer & mixer Tony Hoffer.

Chapter Twelve: Ray's Demo (Lost Boys Life)

There was something about her voice, her words, I could literally listen to her all day. I had bought her singles and played them when ever I was alone. On Friday after leaving the Doctors in a panic, her voice had kept me sane enough to drive- she enabled me to get back to my Bren. Looking at the room I may not be the only one who felt that Raven was magical. My Mum and Cindy were wiping away tears, Felice, Samantha and Jackie were visibly moved, Donna and Nikki well I guess they were still riding their excitement from being one of the first people in the world to hear these new releases. The guys- as Bren likes to call them were beaming, whilst Jim looked strangely mad, and wasn't meeting anyone's eyes except his wife's, Camille's and David's. My girl was a little different she was looking down at her hands and rubbing them together- it was her new nervous tick.

I wonder if she identified with these words, metaphorically speaking she had been shot down by alot of the people in this room and I had been the one to send the biggest bullet her way. It was as my brain formed the thought did I feel the panic start to rise- her being shot. I could see it, I knew what that looked like, felt like. My breathing increased, and I could feel the start of the acute stress response. I started tugging my hair trying to talk myself down- she was physically fine, I could see her, she was less than five feet away. I was trying to fight it off, I didn't want to do this in front of everyone.

As the song came to a close I could hear Kelly declare from far away. "Her words are so relatable, she's amazing!" Though I could hear the words, they sounded to my ears like echos, as if I was hearing them whilst I was underwater.

Trying to hold on to my reasoning, I attempted to recall what the Doctor said happens on the verge of a panic attack. Your hearing is like being underwater… why is it like that? You know why- think! You have to hold this together. Not here. The adrenaline was flooding my system it's making my blood flow… it's loud, yes it's loud, the blood is loud, it's moving fast near my eardrum, it's changing my hearing.

Breathe, breathe, she's fine, she's there.

Kelly's words made Bren look up at her, my Mum grabbed her hand, and then she looked around the room. My girl eventually looked at me. Her eyes went wide, she knew what was going on. She knew I was moments away from losing it. She whispered something to my mum who looked over and then stood. She quickly suggested that everyone should go outside for an after lunch drink before dessert.

My girl stood but the movement in the room, the voices too many people around her blocking her from my eye-line, it became too much. I was unable to hold off the panic attack.

I remember Bren making it over to me, I remember her running her fingers down my cheek, but I was unable to respond. I was back in The Pit standing over her, as something fell from my hands I looked down, they were covered in her blood, her lifeless body by my feet, and she wasn't waking even after my pleas.

Bren somehow got me upstairs, but it wasn't till almost an hour later that I was calm enough to make it down them, and even then I was still not myself, but then again when was the last time I had felt like me. Bren held my hand for the rest of the day- she was my lifeline. My titanium girl ignored the looks, the whispers, and instead never left my side. Camille and David who had been upstairs with us, though I don't know how long for, sat with us for the rest of the afternoon around the fire pit. Both speaking to me predominantly in French.

David told me about how he met Bren, how he knew how special she was from the get-go. Camille told me about their breakfasts, lunches and dinners around Paris, exposing my girl to the true Paris, the one beyond the Eiffel Tower. They told funny stories about her translation mistakes, of dancing in clubs to David's music, of sitting around and discussing life for hours over coffee. They spoke about her with such fondness, such love, that by the end of the evening as we walked them to their rental car, I felt they were going to be our friends for life. That if Bren was ever capable of forgiving me that Camille and David would be apart of our family, our Dylan and Brenda McKay family.

Later that night when we were laying in our bed, on separate pillows, facing each other, she asked.

"Dylan what was it about the song that set you off?" She had a look of guilt upon her face, maybe thinking that David was her friend and that in someway she had caused this.

"It wasn't the song. Not really. The dance version was great, and Raven's ballad was beautiful. Have I told you how soothing her voice is to me? I listen to her all the time in the car, and she helped keep me sane on the drive back here after Friday's session. Anyway, I was thinking about how magical she is, and then looked around the room at how everyone else felt the same way. No one could listen to her without being moved." I paused and laid my hand between us, she took the hint and gave me hers. "I watched you. You were wringing your hands. Do you know it's your new nervous tick?" She shook her head. "Well I began wondering what you felt about the song, and why it was making you nervous. I began to think the song perfectly described your emotions, of being attacked by so many of us in the room. In that moment, I figured out that I had shot the largest bullet at you out of everyone, caused the most damage. In my mind, it sent me back to The Pit but this time I became the shooter of my nightmare. I killed you, I killed us."

I didn't realise I was crying until she took her hand from mine to wipe my cheeks. I returned the action and wiped hers. Though it took a while for either of us to stop shedding them. Once finished we put our hand's back between us, and lightly interlaced our fingers together.

She didn't say anything but eventually she moved herself forward, still mirroring me but now on the same pillow. We fell asleep a while later sharing the same air, staring into the others eyes, with less than an inch between us. It was the most intimate experience I had ever had with her.

The next morning I woke with her staring at me. It was her new morning routine, one that I often just allowed her to undertake in the guise that I was still asleep. I liked her eyes on me, and knew that when I announced myself awake there would be very little of it during the day. This morning though I wanted to make sure there was no barriers between us, no untruths. After last night being so honest, opening my soul to her through my eyes, I wanted that to continue. We had been like that once upon a time, it had been an instinctual response at my locker and out the front of my apartment on our first date. I wanted to get back to that time. No more excuses, rationalisations, or lying through omission. She was entitled to all of me, it had always been hers to have.

As I opened my eyes I smiled at her. "Do you know each morning I wake to you looking at me? As soon as your eyes land on my face my body awakens."

She raised an eyebrow in amusement, "and yet you pretend to be asleep."

"Well I like your eyes on me. I like waking up to you, I like that you are now my new alarm clock- especially, as you aren't nearly as annoying as that buzzing sound."

She reaches down a pinches my arm. "Not nearly as annoying- McKay are you calling me annoying?"

"Well… your lateness, you know Brenda time, is a little annoying. Oh and your need to re-fold my shirts in the draw you have given me- don't think I didn't notice, and…"

She mock glares at me. "Say another word McKay and I will make sure my Mum serves broccoli with every meal next week."

I blanch. "You wouldn't? You know it's gross, they are one of those vegetables that should stay in the ground, let the birds eat them."

"Well, I'm annoying that way!"

I give her a beaming smile. It had been a long time since we could have our fun banter without clouds overhead. "Bren there is nothing annoying about you- even Brenda time just emphasises how much you are worth the wait."

She gives me a knowing smile, understanding that I wanted to make this morning light, after the heavy of yesterday. "Well, I guess I can ask Cindy not to serve broccoli when you are home for dinner."

A few seconds later her smile drops and she gets serious. "Dylan if I ask David won't release that song. He can make another one."

I was surprised by her subject change, and shocked he would do that for her. I knew he loved her like family, but that song had the potential to be huge. "He would? What about Raven wouldn't she just release it?"

"They both need to sign off on the song for it to be released, if I ask David he won't sign."

"But he was so excited- a musical god!"

She rolls her eyes. "He's a musical god at least twice a month and after every good show. David's god status is guaranteed, he won't mind giving up this ego boost for me."

Trying to understand what she was offering, the scope of her influence. "Raven could just release the ballad version herself."

She looked down and spoke to her hands. "From everything I know she has a lot of songs in the pipeline, she is very prolific in her song writing. I am sure she would not see this as a single without David's version being released as well."

She spoke like she knew her. "Bren have you met her?"

She places her hands under her head, I'm not sure if it's for comfort or to prevent the nervous tick I pointed out to her last night. "She and her band record at the studio."

That surprised me, she never said anything before. I knew she owned each single but she never played them. Apart from that one time last week in the kitchen when she had sang along to the radio, I didn't see her ever enjoy the music that was on nearly constant repeat across the school campus. She must be hearing it everyday at work.

"Thank you for the offer but I wouldn't put you in that position with David." She goes to interrupt but I continue on, "and the song, both versions are amazing. It wasn't the song it was me. I am constantly being hit by waves of realisation about what I have done to you, to us, how much my actions have hurt you, how my failure to ask for help, and my destructive methods of self medicating have blown up your life, destroyed your friendships, strained your twin bond. Yesterday was just a tsunami realisation. A very physical and public one."

She was quite for a long time. "What you have done has hurt me a lot but you aren't responsible for Brandon or our friends. I think… look over the last two weeks I have seen that I can't cut you out of my life, we will always be family to the other. Maybe we will never be lovers again but I'd like… I want us to try and be friends."

It was a maybe not a no, it was an offer to be in her life more than now. It means we could possibly talk, spend time together outside of this bed, this room, this house. It was more than I deserved. "I'd like that."

"Good then this weekend we will try and be friends. It does mean you'll have to get to know the guys better. Chris used to live in Vegas so he played the going home card with David, and AJ, Ray and Paul are all refusing to miss out on the fun. You'll learn quickly that all of them are frustrating and like to get their own way."

She said that with an indulgent smile so I knew she was actually complementing them. "Are you just saying that because they keep teasing you for being short?"

She glared at me. "Don't you start too! I am not that small."

Teasing her back. "No you aren't, not at all."

She groaned. "I'm going for a shower."

A half hour later we arrived downstairs for breakfast. I was surprised that my mother was here this early.

"Good morning. How are you my darlings?" Bren had been going around kissing our parents cheeks, and responds to my mother first.

"We are good, but I've awoken with a height complex." She glared at me.

"I never said you were short I was saying you weren't."

"It was the way you said it."

My mother smiled into her tea. "Well you both seem to be spirited this morning."

I smile at her as I walk past her seat on my way to grab a coffee. Moving back to the table I put another cup in front of the seat Bren had claimed and then I lean against the kitchen bench.

"So Mum why are you over so early?"

"Dylan!"

"Oh Brenda it's fine my son doesn't do subtle with me. We wanted to discuss your trip to Vegas this weekend."

Jim takes over. "After yesterday, we just wanted to make sure Dylan, that you are up for the trip, and that Brenda is sure she is okay to support you if needed?"

Acknowledging that at times Jim and I have had communication issues I wanted to make sure I understood what he was asking, so with only curiosity in my tone I asked. "Jim are you worried that I'll have another panic attack or that I may be tempted to drink?"

Cindy stepped in, "Dylan we aren't concerned about you being tempted by alcohol, you haven't relapsed in over a year, and even though you did go for a drink that night when you were fighting with Jim, that's not our current concern. We are all very proud of the steps you have taken in your sobriety."

"Cindy, I didn't know about him going for a drink. When was this?" Crap she sounded concerned.

"Mum, it's okay it was the night of the Silver's wedding, and Jim and I were fighting. He wanted me to stop seeing Brenda, end our relationship." My Mum went to interrupt. "You know that happened."

"Yes, but I didn't know it almost caused you to drink, and I thought it was just a step back and slowdown not a complete end."

Iris looked annoyed she loved Brenda, she loved Brenda and I together. I assumed she could understand a slowdown but she wouldn't have gone along with a complete ending. I felt bad for Jim he was only trying to protect Bren. "Mum as much as I hate to say it Jim was right to want to put distance between us." Brenda turns her head to face me- she is hurt.

"Jim I never said it but I knew you knew something was off with me. While I wish we could have found another way at the time to communicate with each other, I also know up until a week ago I was still in denial. I still believed that if Brenda and I could just get back together that I could make this work- keep quiet, live with this. I know that won't fix this, and me being around her in this state is risky." I held Jim's eyes. "We both love her, want her to be safe and happy- you were right, she always has to come first."

He gave me a proud look. "Thank you Dylan. I assume you understand where we are coming from, that for you both to go away so soon into your treatment, when you are still trying to determine your triggers is a little worrisome to us."

Bren having turned back around looked at her Dad, and filled in the blanks of what he hadn't said. "So you don't want us to go?"

Moving over to her I knelt by her chair. "Bren no you go have fun I'll manage. I just may need you to call me every few hours so I know you are fine." I then turn my head to look at Cindy who is across the table. "If I could still sleep here, I would appreciate it, as it may help."

Brenda touches my shoulder, and I turn my head back to face her. "Dylan I won't do that to you."

Jim interrupts, "well actually we don't want to stop either of you going." I stand up to face his direction. "Both of you are legal adults, and have independent means, we realise that our views are now a courtesy rather than a requirement." What? I mean how much was Bren making at her job? It's not like she could move out and be completely independent of her family, until then they surely would have a say. I mean who was going to pay for her college?

"We were thinking if Brandon went with you he could be of support. I mean I know David helped yesterday but Brandon knows Dylan, and I'm sure you are more comfortable letting him know if you are feeling on edge or he may notice any signs of a panic attack approaching."

I didn't want to burst Jim's bubble but since the lunch a week ago and Brandon's inaction in defence of his sister I had been keeping my distance. I knew not to get between the twins, but I didn't think in my current state that I could sit idly by and let even her twin not treat her with the respect she deserved.

Before I could Brenda answered her Dad. "Dad you do know if Brandon goes he will invite or at least the others will end up inviting themselves along." Shit she was right.

"Yes, and we could tell yesterday that the gang is a little strained at the moment, even with your regular coffee catch-ups with Donna and Andrea it doesn't seem right with you all. It was also obvious they had no idea about what is going on with Dylan- that they hadn't noticed his weight loss, lack of sleep, anything being amiss at all." He paused. "Thankfully Iris, Camille and David were able to usher them out before they could catch on to anything not being right, but with their constant questions about both of your whereabouts, well if it wasn't for Paul and Ray breaking out their guitars as a distraction, I don't know if we could have stopped them from going upstairs."

Wait Paul and Ray know, I looked at Bren in question trying to keep the hurt from shining through. "They don't know but they were the last to leave the room yesterday, before Camille and David came back to help. They could tell something was wrong, I told them that I had you but if they could keep everyone away that would be great."

"They followed through no questions asked?"

"Dylan my guys may not listen to me when it comes to short jokes or on really anything fun and light but they do listen to me when it's serious, and they won't question my personal decisions." Shit maybe I had misjudged douche. Maybe I had assumed they were Beverly Hills friends, after something well after Bren, but they could be better than that. I guess this weekend I'd find out.

Jim pulling us back to the topic. "Sweetheart, I assume the plan was for you and Dylan to stay with Camille and David?" Bren nodded in response and I sent her a confused look.

"They like late night chats and morning coffees in pjs. Being in separate suites, well that would require running through the halls in our pjs and David wouldn't be caught dead in public in his novelty pyjama pants that Camille keeps buying for him." I give her an amused confused look, "it's Camille's attempt to deflate his ego."

Jim brought us back to their request. "So about this weekend we were thinking your Brother, and well if he invites the gang they could be in their own rooms. I'm sure we could organise tickets to the show for tonight and tomorrow, but apart from that it would be up to you how much you saw them. We just want the option for Dylan to have more support in Vegas other than just you, and Brenda if you needed it you could call your brother, especially if Dylan goes into a panic attack."

Brenda and I looked at the other, we both didn't think this was necessary. If we were going to try and be friends on this trip then I wouldn't be away from her for whole days. I might be just one of a larger group but even that was a privilege that I didn't have any right too after what I had done. Without whole days away from her, and her still granting me permission to share her bed, the only fear was for a panic attack being triggered like last night, and I would strive for that not to occur.

While it may not be necessary, it would give our parents comfort, and after all they had done for me I would be selfish to not grant them their request. Bren sensed my acceptance, and having I assumed come to a similar conclusion responded. "That's fine, Brandon and whoever he wants can come. I need to go now and meet David, I promised him a coffee while Camille's at her meeting. I'll arrange the passes for the show's, and have the hotel details and flight information ready when I get back in at elevenish. In the mean time can you find out who will be accompanying us on this trip, I mean from the gang?"

She directed the request at her parents, and while she had accepted, her tone indicated she wasn't happy with the request. "Mum can I borrow your car?" On receiving a nod from Cindy she farewelled us and left.

Jim looked at me. "She's not happy with this is she?"

I sighed and took her seat, Brenda was going for honesty with her parents, letting them into her life. If I was going to do better, be better, I could try and do the same, though it meant giving more truth than I normally would. "No she's not. The gang have been treating her poorly. I can't figure out if it's out of a desire not to get involved, a lack of awareness to what she would be going through, indifference to her pain, or misdirected blame, somehow this being her fault." Jim tried to interrupt and I raised my hand slightly, silently asking for permission to let me finish. "None of what has happened is in anyway her fault, it's all mine."

Iris jumped in then. "Kelly played a part."

I shock my head. "Mum you know Beverly Hills people better than anyone else in this room, she was well schooled on power dating."

Cindy looked confused, "Power dating?"

Iris jumped in. "Yes, it's this horrid practice where you go for the person who provides the most advantages, wealth, popularity, status, connections, looks. In Beverly Hills girls are taught to spot a good catch from a young age, and since it's a blood sport- it wouldn't matter who got in there way if the prize was worth having."

"Well she may have been raised like that but I wasn't." Jim tilted his head as if confused. "Jack had no interest in teaching me any of that, or actually anything at all… Jim, I told you I barely know the man." Taking a deep breath I exhaled. "Anyway the fault is mine alone, I broke my promise to Brenda, so the gangs treatment of Bren is puzzling, but look it's not in Bren's head, it's occurring. When I have seen it I have tried to stop it, but it's weirdly subtle in it's delivery, that's why I'm not sure it's intentional."

Jim looked frustrated. "No wonder she is annoyed. Should we tell Brandon not to invite them?"

"She'll be fine and besides her and Brandon are tense at the moment they'll probably keep him distracted, and from what I have seen from the guys, David and Camille they'll have her back, and I'll spend the weekend keeping her away from them."

After breakfast I headed back to my house for clothes and then stopped past the bank. Not knowing what to expect on this trip, I'd taken out a lot of cash which may mean Jim might need to send me an early top up this month.

By the time I got home Bren was just pulling up behind me. I looked up the drive to the garage and noticed Brandon's car, he must have finished his breakfast shift early. As I got out, I noticed some of the gangs cars were also out on the street. Wanting to make sure Bren didn't walk into the house alone, I leaned against my car until she got out of her mum's.

Giving her a smile. "Good timing. Did the coffee go well?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "David was happy until I told him about our entourage, he is less than enthused."

I quipped, "Well that makes three of us."

Granting me a slight laugh she went on. "Anyway, there was a lot of grumbling, and proclamations about the four of us hiding out in our suite as much as possible." Then she gave me a teasing grin. "Maybe, I should have bought you novelty pjs to match his."

"Or we could go back to the time when pjs were not required."

"You want to walk around naked with David? I mean the French maybe liberal but I'm not sure he'd be cool with that. I can ask him if you want?"

"Haha I was thinking that dress code could be for our room."

She looks at her watch, "McKay less than four hours into our friendship and you are already making sexual innuendos- this bodes well for us."

As I opened the door I whispered to her, "I was thinking we could be bosom friends." She laughs. I had achieved my goal, distracting her from what awaited us inside.

As we walk into the house Steve starts to sing viva Las Vegas. Turning to face the lounge room we are presented with the whole gang, along with Nikki who were all spread out with eager faces.

"So Brenda what's the plan? I have some tickets on hold I just need confirmation of when we need to leave." Steve's enthusiasm had obviously tipped our parents off that we, well Brenda at least was home, so they came out of the kitchen to join the conversation.

She turns and smiles at our parents and then looks back at Steve. "The tickets won't be necessary, the label is lending us their plane for the flight down there and back on Sunday afternoon."

There was a squeal and the guys did our famous snapping handshake, I stayed with Bren in the entrance way. "The shows at the Mirage, so we have held two adjoining rooms for you. David has played there twice a month since he arrived so the hotel has comped your rooms. You'll just need to bring money for food and any Vegas activities you want to do but there will be passes for you in your rooms for David's show tonight and tomorrow." The gang had lost their enthusiasm and were staring in shock. Donna was the first to respond.

"Wow Bren that's so generous, thank you so much for organising it."

She nods her head and then points in the direction of the stairs, "I have to go and pack. We need to be at the private airstrip at Bob Hope Airport at two o'clock. As it's a public holiday traffic is crazy so I'd plan for an hour commute." With that she went upstairs.

The gang immediately, stands up and begins to rush out the door to get themselves ready. Brandon runs upstairs to pack, leaving me with our parents. We all look at the other and go back to the kitchen.

We spend the next hour going through their weekend plans. Iris had decided a spiritual retreat was in order so she had booked herself in for the weekend, while Jim and Cindy had decided for a weekend in Santa Barbara. They give me all their hotel details in case they were needed and then I go up to check on Bren. She was still packing, deciding on outfit combinations. I pick up my book off my bedside table and go to the window seat to read. I get about fifteen minutes of quiet reading before her OCD takes over and the questions start.

"Dylan did you pack a suit? If we go somewhere nice for dinner you should have a suit."

Not looking up I answer, "yes I packed one."

"What about a coat or jacket? David says the desert can get cold at night."

I turn the page, "yes I packed one."

"What about your shampoo, toothbrush and aftershave do you need me to get that from the bathroom and pack it in my bag?"

At that I put down my book and walk over to her placing my hands on her shoulders. "It's already packed, now what has got you so stressed or was it our earlier guests?"

She nods. "Hey, you've got David, Camille, Ray, AJ, Chris, Paul, and most importantly you have me no one is going to ruin your weekend with your friends. If they do they'll have to deal with me. Okay?"

She nods her head and gives me a weak smile. I drop my hands and look at her weekend bag, "is this ready to go downstairs?"

She reaches over and zips it up. "Yeah, I just need to pack my handbag then I'm set."

I look over at the clock we still had over a half hour till we had to leave. "Why don't I bring this downstairs and make you some tea- I'm sure my mother knows the right one to calm your nerves." Rolling my eyes and already picturing the hippie rubbish my mum will sprout when making it.

She teasingly looks at me, "that hurt a little bit didn't it, offering one of your mum's new age solutions?"

As a exit the room with her bag I stop at the door and give her a teasing response, "well if you can actually be ready before Brenda time I can go against my better judgement and offer to make you crazy hippie tea."

I can hear her laugh as I leave the room. Hopefully, she's a little calmer now.

Half an hour later we were in the Porsche together for the first time since she found out. Brandon had gone to collect Nikki so we were driving together.

We arrived before the gang, though not before the guys, and Camille and David. We greeted everyone, and all of them grew in my respect when they didn't comment on yesterday or act any different to me. As I went to put the top up on my car, Paul came over.

"Nice wheels."

"Thanks, I love her though she can be a little temperamental. My mechanic keeps begging me to make her a sometimes car but I just can't do it."

"Of course it would be a crime to lock her up." With that Paul started helping me lift the roof up.

"You like classic cars?"

"Absolutely, who doesn't?"

Smiling at him. "Maybe when we get back you can take her out for a test drive."

He looked pleasantly shocked. "Seriously?"

"Well, I have let Bren drive her, and well…"

He put his hand up. "Don't say anymore. She's looking to buy a car, we are all trying to convince her to buy a Jeep in a bright colour. We are hoping that she'll be big enough in it that she'll be unmissable. You know so if she is going to drive at least her car could be like a warning to others- danger approaching." I didn't know she was looking to buy a car, her job must be going really well, she certainly did enough crazy hours.

Just then the gangs cars started to pull in to the carpark. I must have made a face as Paul asked. "You unhappy that your friends are coming along?"

"I prefer it if they weren't." Moving back around the other side of the now locked up car I stood next to Paul. "Can you do me a favour?" He nods. "One of us," I point in the direction of the both of us and the other guys as well, "are around Bren if they are."

He got serious. "I'll tell the other's. Protecting Torchy always comes first for us."

"I hear you." He gives me a sceptical look- of course he knew. Shit she loves these guys so I wanted them to be cool with me.

"Look it is a story but basically I fucked up. I won't give excuses or reasoning cause in the end all that matters is that I fucked up- my one job was not to hurt her and I did, but I won't make that mistake again."

He looks taken aback. "Hey man, that woman is a powerhouse none of us would dare question how she lives her life, the same way she doesn't question us, if she is cool with you then we are cool with you. You don't need to answer to us- we trust Torchy."

As we begin to walk back to the group, I clarify his statement. "Even David?"

Putting his arm on my shoulder he give me a sympathetic look. "Oh no he is just waiting to unleash, but even then I'd be more worried about Camille."

"Really?"

"Look she's the type that they'd never find the body." I must have made a face because he starts laughing. "Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be okay, they love her, they like her being whole again." Maybe he was a good guy.

Once everyone had unpacked their cars we made our way onto the plane. The cabin was split into two sections with a mix of seats and lounges in both. Not wanting to leave Bren I moved to the section her and her new friends had commandeered. Having walked on the plane behind him I sat next to Paul with Ray sitting across from us. The guys start to quickly chat about a song Ray was working on, not wanting to mess with their music talk I grab out my book and begin to read.

Ray must have noted the book. "Dylan you like poetry?"

"Yeah. You?"

"No I'm into my lyrics. When I was younger the simpler stuff was good but then they started going on about haiku and then meters, they just lost me from there."

I nod. "Well, they aren't my usual go to reads either, I'm usually prone to the works of Byron and Blake."

David who was sitting across the aisle joined in. "Do you write Dylan?"

"Poetry?" He nods. I look at Bren who blushes and looks down, "I have occasionally written one, but I'm more of a reader."

"You must write."

Bren interrupts, "David believes we should all let our soul speak without judgement through art. Even if the world judges it as crap."

David beams at Bren. "Yes and in whatever fashion the soul chooses; songs, poems, sketches, rap, beats, it doesn't matter you just have to give your soul a chance to breathe. Maybe Ray can show us how it's done, you feel like playing some of the piece you are working on."

Ray who had taken out his guitar began to play. As soon as the first note was heard our end of the plane went silent.

Within seconds my eyes found Bren's. I was floored, I swear he wrote it about me and her. For the whole song we didn't blink, move, we were back sharing a pillow with our souls exposed to the others. As he finished we held on for a few more seconds until Bren gave me a shy sweet smile, the same one she had given me by my locker two year's ago. I returned it with a slight raise of my eyebrow and the cheeky grin she had always said she loved.

She turns to look at Ray. "Ray that was amazing. I loved the repetition of that line, how you weaved it throughout. It's just… beautiful, such a simple line but it hooked me- it was all you had to say."