Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210. None to Silent Night.
Chapter Eighteen: Silent Night
After my confession she went silent, it took me opening my eyes just to confirm she heard. She gives me a warm but teary smile.
"I'm scared too."
"That I won't be able to handle the separation?"
"No Dylan I know you will. You've been through so much in your life, battled all the demons both external and your internal ones. This is just another." She pauses and again runs her finger tips down my cheek- there was something about the delicate action, it makes me feel like I was precious to her. "It's not fair but your life never has been, it's why you were given an old soul. I can't imagine anyone else walking this path and not being bitter or just deciding to give up." She runs her finger tips over my lips. "No I'm scared once you know everything you'll decide you don't want me. That I'm too much work." Was she serious? There is nothing that could make me not want her.
"Bren that cou -" She put her finger across my lips, effectively requesting I stop speaking.
"Nope don't say it - let's not make promises you may not want to keep." I give her a questioning look, resulting in her rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. She goes quiet and when she speaks again it was no longer in the almost whisper we had just been conversing in. "Look we have eight days together, and on Monday you start your daily therapy. This week is going to be hard enough for you, for me." She then rolls back on her side with a nervous smile. "So let's make a deal, a pinky promise." She holds out her pinky to me – she is adorable.
Understanding she is trying to free us from our heavy conversation, I play along. "What am I swearing to?"
"That we spend the next eight days being light, having fun, enjoying each other." Hey that's my line.
"Wait enjoying each other like Spring Dance enjoying?" I wiggle my eyebrows.
"The speed you can move to a one track mind is truly impressive, but no. I'm thinking that we just enjoy this time, this bubble, being in our home together." Even if I tried I couldn't stop the smile, I loved when she referred to it as ours. I loved that she wanted her home with me. I held out my pinky but didn't connect them.
"Before I make this promise I want one truth in return." She looks nervous- what had her so worried? I mean I assume she wasn't telling me everything about her job, but Bren's organisational skills were crazy. If she was managing Ray and the guy's careers like I suspected, why was she so concerned? I mean it was a crazy big job to do well, especially at our age– Steve was the clear example of it not being done that way. Actually that could be it, maybe she didn't want to draw more heat on her from the gang? Show up Steve and have Silver beg to be managed by her.
Ignoring my epiphany for now I see she is nodding in agreement, she'd tell me one truth. So I ask what I have begun to suspect. "Are you ready yet?"
She had been more affectionate, she looked at me differently, flirted with me more. I wanted to know it wasn't in my head, that it wasn't just another crazy thought my mind had latched onto.
She nods.
I'm not even sure it was a conscious thought or just my bodies instinctual reaction but in a split second I am reaching for her whilst rolling onto my back, pulling her on top of me.
She shrieks from the sudden movement. "Dylan."
I kiss her cheeks, her eyes, her forehead, her nose.
"Baby, we can't." She is breathless. As I stare at her lips moving closer to them feeling her breath exhale onto mine.
"Why not?" She doesn't move away, and as she responds her lips continue to gently brush against mine.
"Me ready and you better was the deal." Shit she was right. Maybe though a taste.
I don't move my lips away. "What about we negotiate some more conditions on this promise?"
I can't see her smile our lips are to close together, but I can feel it. "I'm listening. What's your contract terms?"
"This. Kissing daily all the time if I have my way." She giggles.
"That sounds like a slippery slope, I don't think we have ever been capable of just kissing. Something always increases makes it impossible to be just kisses. You heard them yesterday in the rec room."
"Baby is that your way of saying you won't be able to resist me? Because if that's the case, I'm stealing your line- don't fight it." She breathes out deeply and then I can feel the tip of her tongue come out to moisten her lips. She is driving me crazy.
"Okay there's limits one a day." Fuck that.
"Twenty."
"Two."
"Twenty."
"Five."
"Twenty."
"Zero." She goes to pull back. Hell no.
"Five it is." I lean in and taste her for the first time in months. She runs her hands through my hair and pulls me even closer. I reach behind her and slightly press down on her lower back pulling her into me more. I had missed her weight on me, sending shockwaves through all my nerves.
When breathing becomes a necessity she pulls back, and with a beaming smile and a bite of her lower swollen lip she holds out her pinky. "So do we have a deal Mr McKay?"
"We do Miss Walsh." I lace our fingers together.
The next few days were a mix of absolute bliss and an enjoyable torture. I would wake first- something I never did, but I just wanted to feel her lips on mine. For the last five weeks her eyes on me had been my alarm clock, now my lips on her cheek, nose, eyes were hers. When her mouth begins to lift into a smile I knew she was awake, and then I would pounce and cover her lips. When the kissing became on the borderline of more we'd stop. Before we would part ways in the morning, her to work, me to surf or now go to therapy, there would be another. That one would stop only when one of us would eventually be pinned up against the closest hard surface or I had lifted her onto one.
The one after therapy was always gentle, it hinted at nothing more than just pure love. It's like she knew talking about my fears of losing her, unpacking the nightmares, the porch, the Paris fling, the hold up, cardio funk, the incident with Emily, her threat to walk away if I kept drinking, the pregnancy scare, Minnesota, the cancer scare, Palm Springs, the Monday after I stood her up for our first date when she looked like she'd turn me away; unpacking all those times she ran, could of ran, or was nearly taken away from me. Starting the process of going through all those buried emotions, the ones I didn't know how to, didn't have the skills to deal with at the time, was agonising. Coming home to her gentle kiss helped to calm it all.
As she was not working in the afternoons we would do her 'fun' thing together. Usually we'd go on my bike, and somewhere along the way one of us would surprise the other with our fourth kiss. That one remained tame, well as tame as our usual public kisses were. The last was when we would arrive home from her parents, after her tea with Iris, when we had climbed into bed. By silent agreement that one was slow and intense but never got too heated. It was like we knew out of all of them that one we could lose ourselves in the most. Could lead to us crossing lines we both wanted too but weren't yet ready to cross. I wanted to know everything before that, no more secrets. I wanted her to know I was better.
Our moments, our gradual relationship change was also kept just between us, it was part of our little bubble as she called it. It was something I didn't realise I needed so much. I had though. My life was now so exposed, it was discussed openly with our parents, Paul knew from AA, the guy's knew parts though they never raised it, Brandon well god knows what he had told the gang, my therapist well she was on a mission to get rid of all the cobwebs, have no more traumas left unanalysed. I was sick of being so raw. I loved my privacy. While I knew it was all necessary- well not the gang knowing, but the others I accepted should know for now, even if it wasn't my normal state to allow people in. Though our bubble reinforced that I would be happy when this was over, returning my private life to just Bren and I. I would still share more with our parents, keep those relationships "healthy" as my Doctor referred to it, but I wouldn't need to expose so much, every thought feeling, and most importantly I would reinstate my rule that I didn't kiss and tell, it would mean Bren and my sacred relationship could once again be just for us.
On Wednesday OCD Bren comes out. As Iris and I return from my last therapy session until after the long Christmas weekend, I chuckle at the smell of disinfectant as I step onto the porch.
"Sorry Mum be prepared."
"What for?"
"Your crazy daughter." With that I open the door.
"Good your home. There is so much to do." I walk over and switch the vacuum off. She glares.
"Baby I'll switch it back on but I couldn't hear you properly." She sighs but begrudgingly accepts the interruption.
"There's a list on the table of everything we still need to do here before Christmas, before Jack gets here." My poor Mum goes and lifts the list and begins to read through it.
"Darling does the linen cupboard really need to be reorganised and all the kitchen cabinets wiped down internally?" Danger Mum, danger, you don't mess with her like this. I had learnt that the hard way at the start of summer, you need to just ride this wave until it, well Bren loses all steam and then becomes sane again. Bren gives me pleading eyes to fix this, I go and grab the list.
"Mum are you okay to do the grocery shopping? I'll help Bren with the rest." I could at least save my mother, even if I couldn't save myself. "Bren once we are done we can go to the shops and get the last minute gifts. Though do we really need gifts for each of the gangs families?"
"Yes Dylan. The families have decided to buy small tokens this year and well as the McKay family we need to participate." She catches herself only once it was out, and flushes red. "I mean you, Jack, Iris need to participate."
From her voice I can tell my Mum is fighting back a laugh. "Well Darling what did you have in mind for our McKay gifts?"
"Um a Christmas ornament maybe handmade chocolates, doesn't have to be very big."
My Mum must have seen my look and quickly moves to grab the shopping list from my hand. "Well I'll think on it while I go do the grocery shopping." With that she was out the door.
Bren starts playing with her fingers, I am in front of her in seconds lifting her up and moving her to the dining table. "Dylan the vacuuming."
"Oh no the McKay's need a private moment together in their home." As I attack her neck with kisses, she tries to explain herself.
"I didn't mean to say it."
I speak into her neck. "But you think it." I gently push on her hips bringing her closer to the edge of the table, closer to me. "Your subconscious knows it." I begin kissing a trail to her lips, "you no longer see yourself as a Walsh." As I kiss her a hairs breath away from claiming my third kiss for the day I catch her eyes, "you see yourself as a McKay."
That kiss walked the borderline, well slipped over the borderline a few times, but we managed to control ourselves for the most part.
By the time Iris returned hours later I was just finishing off the last of the kitchen cabinets, in the spotless but quiet house.
"Where is my Darling but mad daughter?"
"Jim got a call that her new car has arrived, she went to collect it."
"You didn't want to go too?"
"Nah Jim would like this rite of passage moment, her picking up her first car. Cindy and him have had to give up a lot to help me so the least I can do is not take all their moments with her." She smiles at me.
"You know Dylan you are a good man-" I go to interrupt her, but she puts her hand up. "You aren't perfect and you have made mistakes but they don't define you unless you let them. We all make mistakes think we are making the right choice in the moment- I've certainly done that, Jim has, Brenda has. Hindsight allows us to see the error, the things, people we didn't consider would get hurt from our actions. As long as we learn from that own it, well I have to hope for our sake, my sake we can be forgiven and not be defined by that forever." I move to give her a hug. I wasn't normally affectionate with her but living together these last three weeks with Bren and her, we had become a little more tactile.
"I haven't thanked you for putting your life on hold, coming out to support me. I do appreciate it, it's meant, well it's helped."
"Thank you for letting me be your Mum again." It was a good time to raise it, a thought that had been playing on my mind since Bren said she would be leaving.
"When are you planning on going back to Hawaii?"
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Crap that's not what I meant, I just wanted to know when I would be alone again, get myself prepared.
"I didn't mean it that way. You can stay if you want, but you have a life there, and well I don't want you to feel forced to stay here with me if you don't want to."
"Well that's the thing, I'm liking being here, I love being around my kids, and Cindy and Jim they feel, they are family. For so long it's been just me on my pineapple mountain and well if it's okay with you I'd like to stay? I've already agreed to help Brenda with the volunteer program on Monday's, and Cindy and I are looking at signing up for a park beautification program to restore some of the neglected green spaces in the city. If me staying here though gets too much I can find my own place-"
I cut her off with another hug, "I'd like that. You staying." Once we break apart I ask her about her place in Hawaii. She was thinking of renting it as a holiday rental and keeping it as a vacation home for the time being. She thinks it was a good idea to have a place to disappear and recharge our batteries, and the seclusion, island life would be perfect for that.
That night laying in bed I told Brenda my Mum's plans, she had thought that would be the case. She couldn't imagine Iris being let in, earning a place in my life on my terms, would then be eager to run back to Hawaii. That night she fell asleep wrapped around me our hands entwined.
Dylan had gone to collect Jack and I had taken to wringing my hands sitting on the edge of the couch.
"Darling he is my ex-husband and I'm not even that nervous. What's going on?"
"I just want Dylan to have a good few days. He's been good this week, even with the additional sessions, I just want that to continue. Give him a good Christmas before I leave."
"How are you feeling about it? I know Dylan is apprehensive but whatever has changed between you since he stormed out on Friday night, well even his Doctor said he is driven to getting better as quickly as possible, he isn't putting up any resistance in his sessions, he's open to talking about everything, and well if you being apart will make him better quickly he is finally onboard with the plan." I smile at that, Iris was sweet she knew what had changed but she was respectful of our privacy enough to fain ignorance.
"I'm nervous."
"Living by yourself in that big beautiful house? If it's overwhelming just stay in that guest house on the property work your way up to the house."
"No the house is fine and the decorator finished it up on Monday, it's big but with the furniture I chose and her styling it's very cozy. It's classic Hampton's, beachie more Dylan and me than the California modern look that is all the trend here." Looking down I notice Dylan was right- I do wring my hands when nervous. "It's just what if this is it? What if once he's better, and I tell him everything that he doesn't want me, can't live in that lifestyle? What if he thinks I invaded his privacy writing songs about us, sharing our personal story with the world?"
She moves from the chair and sits down next to me, "I can't say if he will take it well and accept it straight away, but like the last few months the loss of the other, the hurt, it's just a moment of time in a long life together. Sweetheart if true love was meant to be easy then what would artists write poetry about, sing songs about." She places her hands on my restless ones. "It might take time but my son loves you, he'll come around."
A few seconds later the front door opens and the McKay men walk in. Dylan's smile drops once he notices my face. "Everything okay in here?"
Iris jumps in. "Absolutely, we are just catching up." She stands then. "Jack, Merry Christmas!" They awkwardly shake hands as I get off the couch.
Before Dylan can introduce me, Jack is in front of me. "You must be Brenda." He immediately gives me a warm hug. Over his shoulder I can see Dylan has an amused look on his face. Pulling back from the hug I give Jack a warm smile.
"Nice to meet you Jack and Merry Christmas!"
Dylan makes his way over to me and places his hand on my lower back. "Dad do you want to come in and sit down or take a look around?"
"Let's sit I'd like to catch up with you all, get to know Brenda." As he moves into the lounge area he looks around. "Wow it's very Christmassy in here. He stops by the stockings noticing the fourth embroidered one that hung on the mantle, he sends me a surprised but touched look.
"It's my Midwest upbringing, if I can't have snow I at least want all the other Christmas traditions. Even if your son has teased me all week about some of my decorations." I send Dylan a glare, he has been on my case all week especially as I keep bringing more decorations home each day.
"Bren I just don't see why we needed Christmas tea towels or the train going around the tree." I sigh, not this again.
"They are festive."
"The train makes a whistle that even you can't stand."
"That's not the point it's pretty, even if I can only have it on for a few minutes, and anyway I blame Paul, Ray and you for that. If you didn't find it all so amusing to get me annoyed and play it all Sunday evening, well I wouldn't be so resistant to putting it on." The jerk gently touches both my shoulders.
"But Shorty you get such a cute look when you're frustrated." I breathe deeply and start counting in my head. He then eggs me on further. "You into the twenties yet." I glare, he laughes.
"Iris?"
"Yes Jack they are always like this." I can feel my cheeks get warm, Dylan pulls me into his chest and while he hugs me I can feel him laugh.
"Sorry Dad. Bren's just fun to tease." I move out of his arms and playfully whack his stomach.
"Iris, Jack your son's a jerk."
"Darling if you didn't bite every time he would stop doing it." I raise a sceptical eyebrow. Jack joins in.
"It's true Brenda, Iris and I had to give bonuses to many house cleaners because of his antics, but it was only when we got Gertrude did he stop."
"She was horrid. She would make me eat broccoli for dinner if she caught me messing around." I laugh and then respond.
"I'm surprised you didn't just refuse to eat it." He grumbles clearly still upset from the injustice.
"She made good desserts and well no vegetables no dessert."
"Oh yeah her cheesecake was really good."
"Jack you were obsessed with it. You made me have it on the menu whenever we were entertaining your business associates." Dylan's eyes are sparkling – I don't think he thought he'd ever get this moment.
"Speaking of food, Jack do you have a preference for dinner? We are having lunch at my parents tomorrow but tonight we can stay in or go out to eat."
"Bren are your parents joining us for dinner tonight?"
"They can if you want them to, they left it up to you and Jack to decide." My parents didn't want to make Jack uncomfortable coming into a full house tomorrow and meeting them for the first time, but they also wanted Dylan to have quality time with his dad.
"Dad there's a great seafood restaurant Bren and I love, they serve your favourite lobster mornay. I could get us a booking?"
"That sounds amazing but I don't have a suit with me."
"Jack your son's definition of restaurant is lose, it's more of a beach shack but it does have the freshest seafood. Jeans and a jumper or shirt would be fine."
"Well then it sounds great, as long as it's fine with you Iris?"
"Absolutely, I miss eating fresh seafood, it's served all over Maui."
"Okay I'll call your parents Bren and see if they want to join and then make a booking."
With Brandon working Dad and Mum decided to come along and would meet us at the restaurant. As there ware too many of us to fit into the Porsche, and Jack literally had to be in Dylan's care the whole time we decided to take my car. Dylan had looked at it yesterday when I came home but he was yet to be driven in it, so he was surprised when I passed him the keys on the way out. His face lights up.
"Baby are you serious?"
"Yes I'll sit in the back with Iris, and it will save us all from listening to your backseat driving comments."
"Hey I don't do that." At that I slightly tilt my head and give him a I call bullshit look.
"No you just fake break every time I'm coming to a stop, and recheck every angle when I'm turning."
He gives me a bashful look and then leans in and kisses my forehead. "Well I have a vested interest in your safety."
Jack makes no comment, but I am starting to pick up on the questioning looks he keeps giving Iris every time he sees Dylan and I interact.
The meeting between Jack and my parents was slightly awkward at first. My Dad was still very sceptical of Jack, but after a pleading look from me he tried to take him at face value. Dylan spent most of the night holding my hand in a death grip under the table, waiting for a blow up. It never came. The night having started off a little stilted found common ground in all things Dylan and I. They discussed school. Jack was impressed I had finished enough credits that I could go down to such a light load in order to work full time. Dylan's grades were discussed- his favourite topic. After they all agreed that Dylan was exceptionally bright, Jack and Dad found common ground encouraging him to take on the harder AP English and AP Chemistry courses following his almost perfect results in the recent semester finals. He agreed I think in part because it was the first time both men had looked like they were enjoying the other's company all night.
The volunteer programs were also discussed with Jack interested in how I would co-ordinate both. He did ask if I played a musical instrument, and not wanting to lie I answered that while I had no formal lessons I used to play around with Grandma Walsh's piano back in Minnesota. Dylan was surprised that he didn't know that, and asked if I was any good. I avoided the direct response and with a roll of my eyes told him the truth, AJ tells me I have a lot to learn. Which was accurate. Though I didn't clarify that AJ was referencing my self taught technique, and how for me to play some of the most challenging pieces I would need to learn a more traditional fingering approach in order to move through the notes fast enough.
The night overall was a success, and with a promise to my parents that we would be over early in the morning to help set up we went home. Jack knowing I was staying with Dylan and knowing he was having some challenges at the moment, chose the ride home to get more details on his son's condition. Dylan did most of the talking with Iris filling in some minor details. I stayed quiet letting Dylan control his own narrative. As Iris made our nightly tea, Dylan and I made up the sofa bed while Jack had a shower. When he came out he joined us at the table, sharing smirks with Dylan over Iris who was beginning to teach me about Tarot cards. When they both were caught snickering for the second time, Iris and I ordered them to the lounge room.
"She's the one right?"
I smile and teasingly ask. "You don't like her Dad?"
"No she's wonderful, but you guy's are young. You sure you don't want to play the field for a bit then settle down with her after College?"
"I've played the field before I met her, and Bren well I hope like hell she doesn't ever want to do that." I look over at my girl who is now packing up the cards with my crazy mother. "She's… it's hard to describe what she is to me, she makes me a better person, I like who I am when I'm with her."
"In the car it sounds like you guys are pretty intense. Hearing what you are going through well it doesn't sound good son."
I sigh and rub my hand through my hair. "It's not, it's not good for her. The holdup well it's triggered alot but it goes deeper than that. It's her and my history together- it was intense from the start, it's you, it's Mum, the drugs, alcohol. I need to get better. I told you I'm in therapy, but I didn't mention that on Sunday she leaves. My Doctor thinks it's time, that I'm ready to work on the night terrors and the acute stress response that is triggered when she's away or when I perceive her in danger. It'll mean she stays away from me for a few weeks, could be longer. It'll be up to my Doctor."
"You sure you're up for that?"
"Yeah I have to be. We made a deal, we'd get back together when she was ready and I'm better. If I want her back well it's up to me now."
"You didn't say why you broke up was it because of this, did it get too much for her?"
"No Bren's not like that. She wouldn't leave if I was sick. No when she was away rather than asking for the help I needed, I found a distraction to take the edge off the crazy in my head. The distraction just happened to be her best friend. She found out a month after she got back from Paris. She understandably left me, but my actions also pretty much damaged all her relationships with our high school group of friends."
"Wait, shouldn't it have damaged your relationship and that other girls with them, not hers?"
"Our friends, ex-friends at this stage- I don't have the energy to figure that out, but you'll meet them tomorrow. Once they found out they just decided that they didn't want to get involved or just didn't care. She finds out and then she is expected to act normal with them and, her now ex-best friend Kelly. When Bren didn't comply well I think they blame her for breaking up our tight knit group."
"Shouldn't you and Kelly get the blame for breaking up your group?"
"Dad don't apply logic to this situation, there is none to be found here."
"Let me make sure I get this situation. She goes through a traumatic experience, it sets you off enough that Jim suspects something isn't right and bans you from seeing her which results in her being sent to Paris. She comes home, thinks everything is great then finds out you messed around on her with her best friend over the summer and have been lying about it ever since. She stops seeing you, her friends abandon her because of you and this Kelly girls actions. Though even after she has stopped speaking to you, she notices one night that you're acting off, worries enough to send her parents over to check on you, they take you in. Then after everything, she completely alters her life and has spent the last nearly six weeks supporting you, helping you get better, helping you build a proper support network, all the while being the one who was fucked around to begin with."
"Yeah that about sums it up."
"Okay, I don't give a shit if you're young. There is no need to play the field, believe me you will find no one better. That is one hell of a woman you have there."
I chuckle. "Yeah welcome to the team Brenda Club- I think Mum wants to get t-shirts made."
"Tell your Mum to get me one."
My girl having got changed into her pyjamas comes into the room. She makes her way over to the armchair and stands next to me.
"Hey you two, I'm going to head to bed. I'm getting tired and well tomorrow will be a big day. Jack do you need anything before I go? Another blanket?" My Dad gives her a warm grin, I look down hiding my amusement at another McKay man wrapped around her finger.
"No thanks I think I'm all set here."
She begins to play with my hair, I look up and meet her eyes. "Baby I'll be in in a few minutes."
"No spend time with your Dad, and now that she's out of her shower I think your Mum is going to come and sit with you both for a bit. She went through the old photo box that was stored in her wardrobe here. I think she has some great 70s pictures of you Jack that she wants to show you both."
"You don't want to stay and laugh at my parents tragic fashion with me?"
"No I'll let you guys have your fun, remember though there are still two new photo frames in the hutch that are empty and waiting for you to fill." As my Mum comes into the room she hears Brenda's comment.
"Darling we will not be displaying these pictures, me in brown polyester well it's not a good look." Brenda gives me a wink and bids us all a good night.
After my Mum kicked me out of the armchair, she then preceded to hand over the pictures she found. Some of me as a baby, Jack and me, Mum and me, all of us together, the two of them. I got to hear stories I hadn't before, and see my parents actually get on. I chose two pictures for the frames, with my Mum accepting that while it wasn't her greatest fashion moment I looked cute in the picture and Jack, well he looked worse than she did. An hour later I was crawling into bed next to my girl. She automatically wrapped herself around me and I pulled her even closer. The day had been unreal, except that I didn't get my fifth kiss. I would insist on the addition tomorrow.
He was laying almost air kisses over my skin, they were so light and delicate. They drew me awake as they had every morning since Saturday. They'd send a tantalising idea to my subconscious – the dream is better in the real world. As soon as he knew I was awake he kissed me, and gradually, gently moved himself on top of me, letting me feel every inch of him. When the kissing session became too heated by some mutual agreement we pulled back. In his gruff morning voice he quietly greets me.
"Merry Christmas Baby!"
"Merry Christmas!" I run my finger across his lips. "You know you make an excellent alarm…" he gives my finger a gentle kiss and then playfully draws the tip into his mouth. "Not nearly as annoying as the buzzing sound." He lightly bites down, I laughingly withdraw my finger.
"You know you have to stop stealing my lines." I move my head back and forth on the pillow. He begins tickling me. "You're refusing?" I giggle and move my head up and down. "Oh Baby you're in for it now."
His tickle attack increases until I squeak for mercy. He immediately stops but stays on top of me and starts looking at my lips. The air between us changes and then he reverently states, "you owe me another one today I didn't get my fifth last night."
"Are you wanting to claim it now?" He reaches down hovering over my lips and then moves to lay a kiss on the tip of my nose.
"I always want to be kissing you, but my bonus kiss… hmmm I'm keeping that one up my sleeve." He smiles at me. "Do you want your Christmas present?" I nod, he reaches over and opens his bedside draw pulling back a wrapped ring box. My eyes go large he wouldn't? Seeing my face he chuckles.
"Relax Baby, I will be asking when, well let's just say my parents won't be in our house." He reaches down and whispers into my ear, "I plan on celebrating that commitment loudly and for days on end." He kisses my neck, "like a warm up to our honeymoon."
When he pulls back I smile at him. "So I guess that means I don't have to worry about a public proposal."
"No. Definitely not. Too much of our story has been exposed in the last six weeks because of me, I'm looking forward to when our relationship is just only for us again." I try not to let my worry pass over my face but he sees it anyway, though he misinterprets it. "Hey I know you are nervous about the next few weeks, like me, but I'm not so scared anymore. I got great motivation on Friday night and five regular daily boosters on what awaits on the other side." He holds out my gift. "You ready to open your gift? Well one of them there are still a few little things under the tree."
I sit up and unwrap the box, and then lift the lid. I am presented with three white gold interlocked rings. "It's for your right ring finger, it's called a Russian wedding ring." He picks it out of the box and shows me the unbreakable connection. "Each ring represents a different time- past, present, and future."
I pick the ring out of his hand and study it, noticing an engraving in each.
Loved in the past.
Loved in the present.
Loved in the future.
I give him a tearful smile. "Baby it's beautiful, I love it. Thank you." I kiss his lips. On pulling back he quickly declares.
"That doesn't count." I laugh. After placing my ring on, I move out of the bed and quickly open my draw and remove a gift. Turning around I notice he is wearing a curious look.
"I was going to give this to you tonight, in truth because I didn't think I would be able to pry it from your hands today, and well you can't read through all of Christmas." I pass him the gift he opens it and gives me a confused look.
"Bren I love it but I already own all of Byron's poetry books, I think I could hold back on reading it today and wait till tonight."
"Open it up to the publishing information." He does and then his eyes flash to mine.
"It's a first edition, Bren how did you get this? Baby it's too much." I move onto the bed and place my finger against his lips.
"Shhhh do you like it?" He nods. "Then the rest is between Santa and I."
He claims his bonus kiss then, and if it wasn't for the gentle tap on the door from Iris wishing us a Merry Christmas, I am not sure if we could have stopped before crossing that frustrating but needed line.
After unwrapping gifts over coffee with Iris and Jack, the latter being touched by receiving them from each of us. We all went to get ready for my parents. As I was just finishing putting on the last of my makeup Dylan calls out "Bren your entering your own Timezone again." He arrives at our doorway and notices what I was wearing.
"Do you mind? I was thinking more happy memories could be associated with it rather than just the reminder I came back."
"I don't mind. You look beautiful."
"Will you help me with this?" I hold up last year's Christmas gift. He comes overs and helps me clasp it, the half heart hangs under my white jumper. I then turn around and reach up and kiss his lips. "Relax it doesn't count." He smiles and then I begin to stumble through my next question. "Um… I hope you don't mind, but I saw it the other day, and as it was meant for me - "
"Bren I won't mind as long as you get it out quickly so we can get to your parents before everyone else." I pull up my sleeve in lieu of an explanation and show him my wrist. He grabs my hand while he studies my wrist. "I don't mind at all, it's yours, it looks beautiful on you."
"Thank you it's beautiful even if I didn't say it at the time."
"Well I shouldn't of blindsided you on your birthday. You may have kept it if I hadn't pushed so hard." I give him a gentle peck on his lips that turns into slightly a little more.
"That one doesn't count either." He laughs at me as I move past him to our bedroom door. "Come on McKay I've been ready for ages."
On arriving at my parents it was another round of Christmas present opening, made only slightly awkward due to the tension between Brandon and I, and well Brandon and Dylan as well. Jack must have noticed it as I catch the tail end of Dylan's explanation of Vegas, when I went to check on the fire pit progress. With nearly the same crowd as Thanksgiving, minus David and Camille and Chris and AJ who used their week off to travel home for Christmas, we were once again hosting mainly in our backyard. With Andrea and Jack in attendance our numbers were nearly as large.
Without lighter fuel both the McKay and Walsh father and son teams fail to get a healthy fire going, leaving it to Ray to once again save the day. Once all the guests had arrived my Mum caved to peer pressure and invites us all in to exchange gifts. As I walk into the lounge room I can hear the radio playing and go to turn it off, causing four squeals of no to come from across the room. Gees Nikki, Kelly, Andrea and Donna can shriek.
"Brenda you can't, Raven recorded a Christmas song for this Christmas donation appeal. Every $50000 raised they release another artists song. They just hit $990 000 for the Red Cross. If they raise a million then her song is played." Donna was nearly hyperventilating, I send Paul a look who has started chuckling pretending to find a Christmas ornament on the tree particularly amusing; while he dislikes Dylan being kept in the dark he is very much in favour of the others being left there.
As I move away from the radio I stand by Paul, elbowing him in the stomach to stop laughing. It makes him laugh harder.
The parents realising it was pointless to start exchanging gifts until the song plays, keep a quiet chatter. However, when the million dollar mark is hit and my voice starts coming out of the speakers they all go silent. That was until the front door bell rings.
Mel who is carrying a disgruntled and teething Erin in the entrance way, goes and opens the door while his stepdaughter complains about the interruption to the song. A few seconds later Paul bumps my shoulder and signals to the door where Mel was now pointing me out to a man in a suit. I quickly make my way over.
"Miss Walsh?" I nod.
"Please sign here." I do as requested. He then unlocks a security bag, and passes me a card followed by a red box with the words Cartier in gold written across it. "He asked me to wait for your answer."
"Bren what's going on?"
As I turn to look at Dylan, I notice all eyes are on me, with the last line of my rendition of silent night echoing throughout the room.