Authors Note: I own nothing. No ownership rights to Beverly Hills 90210. None to Stronger written and produced by Max Martin and Rami and performed by Brittany Spears.
Chapter Nineteen: Stronger
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I was going to kill Howard the label head, this had his over the top finger prints all over it. I told him I'd decide on the tour by the end of the week. Considering we met on Sunday I took it to mean this Sunday, not Christmas Friday. Dylan was looking at me, waiting on a response.
"Ma'am?"
I turn to the expensive courier, personal assistant, god knows who and smile. "Please take these back. Tell him I will call when it's not Christmas."
"Sorry Ma'am but you've signed for them the transport insurance only covers the item till it's in your custody." I give him a pleading look. Dude take the hint I need you to take these and go. "I'm sorry I've been told to stay till I have an answer."
Putting the box under my arm I open the tiny envelope and pull out a small white card.
R- Isn't it time to see the world?
-H
"Torchy?" I looked at Paul. He, AJ and Chris had already confirmed that they would be happy to extend their contracts to include a tour, a second album, a third, I think Paul pretty much agreed to sign up for life. Without saying anything he understands what this is about, and as I meet his eyes I can see his support is being offered for any choice I make.
I look at Ray. If I was going I wanted him as my opening act, I wanted him on this. Even with only our duet released I knew he would be big if given the opportunity, but we hadn't discussed it yet- I hadn't wanted to get his hopes up if I decided not to go. I damn well hope he was on the same wave length as Paul and I.
"Ray?" It takes him all of two seconds then his eyes go large.
"Shorty… really?"
"Yep, but don't call me shorty." He is almost glowing his smile is so big.
"Sounds good… Shorty." Great month's on the road with short jokes.
I look back at the poor man who has wrecked my Christmas, and know it wasn't his fault. I could fucking kill Howard. "Please pass on this message: Tell him yes, but there are conditions. Also let him know it would serve him well to avoid me for a couple of days."
"Yes ma'am."
Feeling like shit that this guy could easily get the brunt of Howard's anger. I give him a weak smile and soften. "He'll be pissed at that, so you can also advise him I'll arrange the document with my conditions to be received by his office tomorrow." He gives me a grateful smile. "Yes ma'am. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas." He turns and leaves, and I close the door behind him. Taking a calming breath I turn around.
Dylan looks frustrated and is now standing at the entrance to the still and very quiet lounge room. He raises an eyebrow. I attempt an explanation.
"It's from my boss." I wave of guilt hits me. That was the closest thing to a lie I had ever told him. Howard was the head of the label that distributed my music, I had a contract for the service his company offered me, which had commitments on both sides. He wasn't my boss though, we were partners in this, he had no control of anything Raven. I owned it all, including the largest stake in the tour I had just agreed to go on. Though as my distributor, the bigger I was the more money he made, and since I wanted control it meant little upfront investment by him. His profit margin on me was huge, it was why he was pushing for this so hard.
"Does your boss usually give you jewellery?" Huh? Seeing my confusion he taps the box. Oh Cartier right.
"Dylan I have no idea what is even in this. It could be a nice Christmas ornament- " I give him pleading eyes, come on baby let this go at least until we are alone.
"With insurance and a locked bag?" He gives me a sceptical look, great he wasn't going to comply.
"Open it. Let's see what your boss sends you on Christmas Day in the hopes of getting a yes out of you?" Wait, was he jealous? I look at him- shit he was, and he was serious about me opening it up in front of a room full of people who were arseholes to me. Now I was pissed, this conversation couldn't be done privately?
I place the box in his hand. "Here knock yourself out."
There were worried looks on Ray, Paul, Iris, my Mum and Dad's face. Though they couldn't jump to my aid and risk breaking my secret to a room full of people. The label would have a fit and for some it had significant financial impacts if either myself or the label sued. The former was not a risk but the latter, well Howard he was just seeing dollar signs, case in point today. They also wouldn't jump in and lie to Dylan to get me out of this, and I wouldn't want them to do that. I was on my own to deal with this, and he was pissed enough not to care who saw.
He opens the box while I am looking at the wall- anything to avoid making eye contact with anyone in the room. I can hear the box hinges creak it was that silent in here. What happened to the radio? Erin's grumbling?
Steve whistles- great the peanut gallery is getting involved.
"Want to explain why a Cartier watch covered in diamonds was sent to you as an incentive to say yes?" What the fuck was he insinuating?
"Funny enough Dylan I really don't want to." I take another breath, I could escalate this or try and deescalate. I strived for a calmer tone, "though since you asked, I work in the music industry gifts are not uncommon like the twenty thousand dollar plane trip we all took to Vegas a few weeks ago." There was a gasp from some of the girls and a oh crap from one of the guys. Seriously how much did they think that was? That had been another gift from Howard, a thank you to David and I for our new song. "They like throwing their money around, especially if they want something."
"And what does your boss want from you?" I meet his eyes, and try and see if he is alluding to anything inappropriate.
"He wants me to sign up for a long business trip taking these guys with me." I point at Ray and Paul. If he asks what type of trip I was done for. I wouldn't weave a lie like that to him. Luckily, though his fear of me leaving became his main concern.
"Wait and you just said yes to leaving, without discussing it with me?"
"Well if you couldn't tell my boss is a dick and just orchestrated that little display to get me to agree to something I have been putting off. That was his little times up message." I didn't want to say if I said no he would have been on this doorstep in the hour using whatever means necessary to get me to change my mind. Nor that while I held the power at the moment, Howard was not a bridge I should burn this early on in my career unless I wanted a great first album and then be an artist who is never heard from again.
"But you said yes without- " Enough already.
"Yes I said yes, without discussing it, I said yes because it is a good career move for all involved. I said yes because I wanted to."
"And me?"
"Right now Dylan- if I could I'd throw you off a bridge, but if you were listening closely it was a yes with conditions."
"I'm the conditions?"
"Yes, kinda of, I assumed that you could help put them together, after… well in January."
"You told him tomorrow." He said it like I was lying to him. I hit back straight away, in my best smart arse tone I can muster.
"Tomorrow, he's going to get a paper saying Dick the condition is that the conditions will come in January."
Jack laughs. Dylan looks at his father.
"Son she has a head for business, that is gold. Right Jim?"
"Well I wouldn't address it to Dick, but yeah that meets the terms she stated." If I wasn't so mad I would be pleased that they are getting along.
Dylan lost what was left of his fire and as he turns from our fathers he must have finally clocked everyone else in the room. Figuring out that he has been blowing up at me in public, in front of an audience that didn't need more ammunition, he turns to me with an apologetic look and gently says.
"Bren- " I cut him off.
"Save it." He then shyly reaches out to pass me the watch. I pick it up, and without looking shut the lid and throw it on the desk as I move passed him. I take a deep breath and as I move between Paul and Ray I try to put on a tone of nonchalance. "Mum weren't we doing gifts or something?"
Paul wraps an arm around me and sends Dylan a glare, and Ray slightly moves in front of me shielding me from the room. They both may be forming a brotherly bond with my ex, future boyfriend, but they love me; they wouldn't be okay about what they just witnessed.
Bless my mother and Iris they worked their best magic to change the vibe in that room. By the time the gifts had been exchanged and everyone was on their way back to the fire pit, while Mum finished off setting up Christmas dinner, the mood had been restored. When I had offered to help Mum in the kitchen, she kissed my forehead and rubbed my arms. Go calm down first. Looking out the back door I didn't want to go out there, I contemplated going up to my room here but what was left of my clothes and personal items I had already moved to my new place. I looked at my bag on the kitchen hook that carried my notebook and made the decision.
"Mum I'm going to go for a walk. What time is lunch?"
"Not for another forty minutes."
"Okay I'll be back by then." With that I grab my bag and leave.
I walk to the park and sit under a tree. Taking out my notebook, I did what David always encourages me to do just let my soul speak without judgment. Within minutes it becomes obvious I was pissed at Howard, at Dylan, at something that should be so exciting being ruined by both.
As I wrote more I was also able to see how angry I was also at myself. In just under six weeks Dylan had come back in and I had surrendered my whole life to him again. My career decisions were filtered through his needs, I was constantly stressed about how he would react to my career, if he would leave me because of it. I had even offered to not release currently the number one dance song in the US and UK in fear of him hearing it randomly. He was to blame for none of it, I was. He didn't even know what I did, but I was back moulding my life to fit his perfectly.
When we first started dating it had been a partnership, I remember he would give and I would give, we would find common ground. Halloween costumes, parties, school events, we would make them work to make us both happy. When I looked into what the future held a month from now, that wasn't the couple I saw. I saw me compromising my art away to keep him happy. Even Iris had warned me that in feeding others first adapting my art to make them like it I would risk starving myself, and in my mind I was already preparing to do that. Somewhere along the way I had begun falling back into that role of a Beverly Hills girlfriend working to keep her man happy.
I wanted to be stronger than that. I want to be stronger than I was last month, stronger than last week, I wanted to be stronger than yesterday.
I gave her five minutes, but when she didn't come out to the backyard I went searching for her. When I didn't find her upstairs or in the lounge room, I asked Cindy.
"She has gone for a walk Dylan." From her tone I can tell she is pissed at me.
I rub the back of my neck, "sorry about before."
"Dylan I am not the one you owe the apology to." She comes around the kitchen bench and stands next to me. "Look I understand that was unexpected for you but your life and the long term relationship you have with your partner…" she wasn't saying Brenda I couldn't have fucked it up that badly, could I? "Is going to have some of those moments. Reacting like you did publicly that wasn't okay. You know what half the people in that room have done to her, and you you just did exactly what they had. Got angry at her for something done to her not done by her." Fuck. "Dylan you had the right to ask the questions, you didn't have the right to use that tone or to do it in the forum you chose to ask them."
"Cindy it was a shock I wasn't thinking clearly."
"And on Friday when you did the same thing right here in this kitchen, yelling and demanding, refusing to hear her out?" Fuck.
"I just hate that she keeps things from me, that she doesn't discuss her life with me." She softens her tone slightly.
"Dylan that hasn't been your relationship since the hold up. You cut her out of your thinking, and she was forced to scramble to change her life to keep you, to keep you happy, and that was even before your breakup." She was right back then I had started wanting things on my terms only.
"It's not like that now."
"Isn't it? Dylan it's not your fault alone. Brenda has done this, continues to do this as well. You've picked up a bad habit and now you need to break the cycle." Cindy moves back around the kitchen bench and resumes her cooking. When had the habit started? I could see my Doctor ask me that question and then say trace when it wasn't there and when it materialised. Sarah. The night of Karaoke when I left her without care, knowing the cardio guy was interested in her, and when she asked me to stay I refused to even discuss it. We never spoke about that afterwards. We spoke about her kiss and I vaguely admitted to Sarah making a move on me, but we never discussed my treatment of her. I hadn't even done that when I was drinking. It was the first time I had ever disrespected her in private or in public. I assumed because I had some moral authority in that situation, I was helping someone it was justified. Looking at what I just did, I was using the same rationale. I felt mistreated so with my moral authority I was justified in disrespecting her again, it was a behaviour I was normalising. I didn't want to be that guy. The guy that talks to his girl like shit in public or private.
I waited for to get back on the front steps. As she walks up to me I send her an apologetic look. She sits down on the stairs but leaves distance between us.
"In there before, how I behaved it wasn't okay, not even close. You didn't deserve, you'll never deserve to be disrespected in such a way. It's not the first time I've done it though, it's happened a few times."
"Yes."
"Even before the hold up."
"Yes."
"Do you remember the first time? I've been trying to figure out when it started."
"The night I met Jack for the first time." I send her a curious look. What? "You took your mood out on me and yelled at me. I stood up to you then - "
"You walked away, ran once I destroyed the pot plant."
"The next time was when you stood me up on the Friday night of our first date, three days it took for you to come and apologise. Would you have come over that afternoon if Brandon hadn't called you out for it?"
"Yes I'd like to think I would have, but maybe I would have waited till you were back at school. I don't know. It was the first time I wanted to apologise to someone and was scared that they wouldn't forgive me. I knew if you didn't I wouldn't be okay."
"I called you out for it then, was prepared again to walk away." Yeah she was right, my fear of losing her made me work hard to be a better man. Then after that sophomore summer getting back together I gradually accepted that she'd be there. I began taking her for granted. Even after the hold up my fear was for her safety not that she'd ever walk away from me, unless I broke her drinking limit. It was why Kelly wasn't a big deal to me. Why I didn't think she'd be a big deal to us.
"The more in love we fell, you stopped being willing to call me out on it. The night of Karaoke I did it again, but this time I justified the disrespect as being allowed cause I was helping someone. Today, I believed I was justified because I was jealous of the attention someone else was giving you, because I was pissed that Paul and Ray knew more than me." I turn to face her more. "I genuinely want my life with you and yet I expect you to accept unacceptable behaviour from me."
"Dylan you aren't alone in this, I stopped setting clear boundaries. I am still doing it now." She takes my hand. "I've, I'm crazy in love with you, have been from the first moment." I squeeze her hand it's the first time she has said she loves me in a long, long time. "It's an intense all consuming love as you know -"
"Believe me I know."
"We both could lose ourselves in it, especially at our age. I never want that, I never want that to be an issue that makes either of us run. I never want to hear that I've lost you because how intensely we love the other. That our love is a problem." She shuffles a little closer. "But I also don't want us to know that we love each other so much that we can just get away with anything. That we can treat the other badly, take the other for granted. We've agreed to some limits, no drinking or cheating. I just think we need to be clear about some others."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Bren I love you, I want that love to feel good for the both of us. I don't want to be that jealous guy that I was in there." I lift her hand up and kiss it. "Do you want to set them now?" She looks down at her watch the one she wears everyday.
"My mother will kill us if we ruin her Christmas dinner and well she said forty minutes and it's now forty-five. When you are better though. When I know you aren't agreeing because you get a physical reaction from the prospect of me going." I kiss her hand again.
"I'll always get a physical reaction, but I get it. When I'm not making decisions based on the adrenaline that is flooding my system and clouding my brain." She nods. "So the business trip are we talking days, weeks or months?" As I had waited for her I had figured out that it's probably like what Camille is doing with David's career. That she needs the guy's to do a promotional tour of their own. I could go on that if she wanted. I love travelling and as long as it was after graduation I could go.
"That's one of the conditions I need to figure out, but it won't be days." She didn't want to discuss it I could tell.
"Cindy will murder us." I stand and offer her my other hand, she takes it and stands up. "We good?" She nods. I lean down and kiss her forehead, then her cheek, she turns and offers me her lips. It goes beyond a peck and as we pull away we are smiling. At the same time we speak.
"Doesn't count" "Doesn't count"
We are still laughing as we walk in through the door.
Cindy sends us a smile from the dining room. "Great you're back Iris and I are just putting out the last few dishes."
"Need a hand Mum?"
"No everything's under control. Jim's carving right now and Jack is finishing off the dishes." Seriously Jack washing a dish? "We will be sitting down to a warm Christmas meal with a spotless kitchen in a matter of minutes." Being in love with Bren had made me aware of the weird joy that Cindy was experiencing at the moment she referenced a clean kitchen and a perfect meal. The perfectionist apple didn't fall very far from the tree. As Cindy turns back into the kitchen, I lean down and whisper to Bren.
"Do you think our kids will get the genetic perfectionist trait? Cause if so I think we should really consider adoption." As her elbow makes contact with my stomach a little harder than usual, I chuckle.
"McKay I'm sure your sloth genetics will help take the edge off." I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and whisper.
"Sloths move slow, I'm very capable of moving fast. If you want I can take you upstairs and show you?"
She turns in my arms and wraps her hands around my neck. "Baby is speed really a point you want to emphasise?" Oh she didn't.
I lean down and whisper against her lips. "You know I'm capable of whatever speed best suits the situation. Though if you have forgotten I'll gladly show you my repertoire?"
A throat clearing, causes us to turn and we are faced with both sets of our parents.
"Darlings it's good to see you two made up, but -"
"Time and place are important son." Jim actually laughs at my Dad.
"Jack, that is a lesson Dylan and Brenda have always failed to learn. The amount of times Cindy and I have caught them looking at each other like that. Well let's be thankful that we don't have grandchildren yet and it was only a false alarm last time."
My Dad's eyes go wide and zone in on Jim. "Came that close?" A nod from Jim has him swinging to look at me. "Son we'll be having words about this." My girl who had buried her head in my chest in embarrassment starts vibrating. Ignoring my Dad's renewed interest in parenting after nearly thirteen year's I focus on my girl.
"What is so funny?" She lifts her head out of my chest.
"I've been on the receiving end of that lecture for nearly two years. Now it's your turn." She then smiles at my dad. "Jack can I make popcorn and watch?" With an indulgent smile my Dad responds.
"Of course Darlin." If it makes her this happy I might even pretend to let my Dad give me the lecture. I tickle her then.
"You are supposed to be on my side."
Through laughter she responds. "Nope."
"Okay I'm inviting everyone in now for lunch." Cindy looks at us both. "Try and compose yourselves."
"Yes Cindy."
Bren moves into the lounge room to grab a tissue and wipe away her tears of laughter that my tickling caused. As I lean against the archway to the room I notice the cause of our most recent fight.
"Bren you sure you aren't interested in taking a look at it?" I point to the red box. She sighs and opens it.
"It's pretty but it's not really me is it?" She gives me an amused look.
"It's very Beverly Hills Princess." I don't add that I imagine Donna or Kelly would love it.
"Yeah in other words not practical or me."
I smile, if her new navy blue Jeep Wrangler was anything to go off then even with more money now she wasn't ever going to strive for that princess look. Thank god.
"Are you going to return it?" She looked at it then and closes the lid.
"My boss would find that insulting and well he'll be pissed enough about the vagueness of my agreement tomorrow. Starting off a business relationship like that -"
"Would be foolish." I turn not realising my Dad had come into the room. "You've got a good head for business Brenda, not letting ego get in the way. I wish someone had checked mine more." She smiles at him.
"Thanks Jack."
"Iris sent me in to here so I could tell her children. She'd like the McKay's to sit together." He frowns. "I swear we may be divorced but she still gets pleasure out of ordering me about. I was told to repeat the message word for word to her children." I look at Bren who has flushed pink. Jack notices. "I know the blow up with your brother was partially because he thought you'd got married in Vegas, but you sure there is no truth to that?"
"No Dad she turned me down." Bren rolls her eyes.
"You knew I'd never agree to a Vegas wedding." As she walks out of the room she continues. "Baja would have got a different response."
I breakout in a smile. My Dad puts an a hand on my shoulder.
"Can you wait till at least you both graduate son?"
"I make no promises Dad." I follow my girl out.
As requested the four of us sit together, along with Ray and Paul who had become somewhat regular fixtures in our home since Vegas. My Dad entertains us with embarrassing stories of me as a child and of Iris's gradual spiritual awakening, like the time she tried to fengshui my nursery believing it may make my teething pain more manageable. He doesn't clarify that my Mum only started toying with the pursuit of inner enlightenment when she began to see my Dad's ruthless pursuit for the biggest bottom line. Nor that it was only when she saw that he was starting to get involved in shady business deals did she truly begin to reject the Beverly Hills life, and then after being bullied into abandoning me her hippie stuff became her only source of peace.
After lunch Ray and Paul grabbed their guitars, they begin singing carols and some old classic songs around the fire pit. Kelly who had taken an interest in Ray all day, according to Paul- who was finding Ray's discomfort hilarious, finally found the courage then to ask him to sign her CD single of his duet with Raven. My Dad was informed then that he was currently in the company of the man with the fastest climbing country and pop song in the US. He asked Ray to play it.
"Jack it's a duet. Raven wrote it to be a conversation at times, so I can't really play it without a partner."
That surprised me. "Ray you didn't co-write it?"
"God no when Raven writes it's like magic. You just sit back and try and not interfere. It's the same when she composes though the musicians she plays with are pretty good at reading her and knowing when they should offer input."
Andrea jumps in then. "She does it all herself writes the lyrics and the music compositions? That's in nothing I've read about her."
"That's cause everything you've ever read is all bullshit made up gossip. She has done one interview and that will be coming out in the January edition of Rolling Stone."
My Dad clarifies Ray's comment. "So she's pretty private then?"
"Jack no one knows who she is. Well accept our man Ray here." Steve lays a hand on Ray's shoulder like they are good friends. Paul strives not to laugh.
"That's not absolutely true, is it Dad?"
"Brandon, I've told you even if she was a client I couldn't disclose that. I imagine everyone around her would have an NDA or something like that."
Wait she records out of the studios Bren works out of. "Bren did you have to sign one?"
"What Brenda you know her? You haven't said anything…" Donna goes a little quiet and gets uncomfortable, "I mean even before Vegas."
"Um she records, well used to record, out of the studio's where we all work."
"So you've met her? Are you guys friends?"
"Um Donna, she's not like someone I could call up or anything. I mean that would be weird."
Paul laughed. "Torchy yeah that would be an awkward conversation."
Andrea picking up on the fact that she didn't answer asks again. "So you signed one?"
"See if you sign one you can't confirm you have, but I imagine everyone who works there has."
My Dad clarifies. "Yeah she's right, the existence of the NDA is also confidential."
Kelly moves the attention back onto Ray. "Ray does that mean you're going to get in trouble?"
"Nah, I've been doing press for the last two weeks since our song was released. Bren has arranged a pretty good script for me." That was the closest thing to confirmation that she does manage him.
"Brenda is that part of your role there organising press, because if it is I would love an interview. Everyone loved David and Kelly's piece about the Vegas release. Jordan and Beverly Hills High even ran it in their campus papers."
"Oh yeah I'd love an interview for the radio show."
"Sorry Andrea and David I avoid the press aspect, I leave that to the marketing department. Though I'm sure Ray could help you out." He sent her a glare and then complains.
"Not another bloody interview." Paul and Bren crack up.
"So do I get to hear this song?"
Bren stands up. "Sure Jack I'll get a CD player as I go start a pot of coffee. Who would like tea or coffee?"
As Bren insisted on making the tea and coffee by herself we all listened to the track. At the end of it my Dad looked at Ray.
"Excuse my language but she's been screwed around hasn't she?"
Ray nods at my Dad. "Yeah, but well she's amazing. She's damn near unbreakable."
"I'm getting to know the type." He smiles then and stands. "Excuse me I'm going to see if my daughter wants a hand." Jim clears his throat. "Fine my future daughter in law."
"Can we at least wait for the wedding Jack?"
My Dad laughs. "Jim I think I'll just take to calling her McKay then." Jim volleys back.
"Maybe she'll want to keep her family name." I give Jim a fuck no look.
"Don't look at me like that Dylan. I'm yet to call my mother for Christmas and I'm sure she'd be very interested in your Vegas question." I laugh, his mother was his new favourite threat with me.
I was repacking the dishwasher with the last of the lunch dishes as Jack walks in.
"Need a hand?" I turn to face him.
"No I've got it all sorted in here but feel free to pull up a stool and chat while I arrange the trays of tea and coffee." Turning on the dishwasher I move to grab two kitchen trays from above the fridge.
"So this business trip. Where will you be heading?" Shit he wanted to talk about this. I wasn't going to lie as I didn't want Jack to mislead Dylan. Their relationship was only just starting. As I move around putting cups out, and filling a jug with milk I answer.
"That hasn't been worked out yet but Europe probably will be on the list."
"What will you be required to do?"
"Hopefully, I'll still have a chance to do what I do now with some additional responsibilities." It was true I wanted to still be able to work on new music while I was out on tour.
"And Dylan can go?"
"If he wants, I'd like him to, but he may not like the constant travel or once he's better he may not want…" I look at Jack. "I may hope we are it for each other but combining our lives together properly, well they may clash. He may decide he doesn't want me enough."
"I think my son would never not want you."
"I've changed a bit since we were together, I'm not sure he'll like all those changes."
"Dylan got a bad deal. I didn't want his mother to take him away from me. I wanted my son with me, thinking I could do it all, but I was work obsessed and well without a parent around he got into some bad things. By the time I figured it out I didn't know how to handle him, and when it got too hard I kicked him out. It didn't help that being my son meant he was in the public eye. He got a lot of attention from people wanting to do business with me, trusts were broken he got used a fair bit when he was younger, when he got older some of his antics got a bit of local press, and with associates of mine always in and out of our homes, the penthouses, apartments, he became very introverted- hated his privacy being taken away. It was probably the only luxury that was denied to him from birth. I can tell he still doesn't trust many people, and I can't imagine he will ever embrace public life, will probably always guard his privacy. But he does love you fiercely, I'm sure you both can find the middle ground." What the fuck? He stands from the stool. "This tray ready to go out?" I slowly nod. He goes to move. "Oh before I forget I found this in the entrance way. It must have fallen from your pocket while you were being tickled." With that he pushes a little white card across the kitchen bench. "It's probably best that it makes it's way into the fire pit out there."
Then he picks up the tray and goes back outside.