A/N: To the last person that reviewed, no you are not bothering me AT ALL. I love reviews, so keep it up! :) Re this story...I just wanna say, I think to enjoy this story and to believe maybe it could happen one day...you have to believe that it's possible they belong together. I'm not stupid or delusional, I see they're both happy and that hurts, selfishly as a fan of them, but none the less, I get it, they haven't been together in a long time. But there was a time, many years ago where I was almost positive they belonged together. I know it seems unlikely now, and it probably is - but it's NOT impossible (i mean they were in love with each other once and as Penn said "we have something unique and special") so just try and read this with the mindset of believing they do belong together...and this is how it happens! x
Chapter 7.
Penn had been feeling uncomfortable all day, though his thoughts hadn't been interrupted too much with those of Blake since the auction last week and his wife's pregnancy was going smoothly, life was good. He rephrased, life should be good. Domino had gone out for lunch with a friend and Penn had been home alone for the last half hour. He had made attempts at strumming at his guitar strings or reading a new script he'd been sent, but whatever it was, he couldn't concentrate. His mind was elsewhere, not merely focused on reality or the present, but lingering somewhere in the distant past. Lifting himself from his desk chair he wandered towards his closet, as he arrived he knelt down pushing aside his many bags and tatty shoes to find a small cupboard. He wrapped his left hand around the knob and prised the door open. Crouching on the dusty oak flooring he reached both hands inside and dragged a vintage black box from the floor of the cupboard. He took it back to his emerald green chair and placed the black container on the desk. He rifled through it purposefully knowing exactly what he was craving to find. As the urgency in his fingers distilled, they wrapped themselves delicately around a polaroid photograph. Steadily he towed the photo away from the box and swayed his chair gently to the left as he held the picture above his lap in front of his beady eyes. Though her long blonde locks largely covered her round face, you could see the unmistakable grin covering her red lips and the twinkle in her eyes. The hem of his pastel blue shirt rested inches below her hips, covering those long, sexy legs of hers. Her hand was placed firmly against his chest, her fingers tangled in the soft material of his shirt. He clearly hadn't shaved for several days and her right hand was sitting possessively on his rough cheek. His lips were tangled in a wide, toothless grin. His curly hair was messy and disheveled and his large hands were gripped tightly on her hips.
Penn's thumb rubbed the edges of the frame as his eyes were wide on the image that lay before him. He gulped at the sight, nostalgia creeping through him like an intruder in the night. He swept his hand through his hair as he leered at the polaroid that lay tauntingly opposite him.
Blake signed for the sizable parcel and took ownership from the delivery man's hands. She took it with her to the couch to examine it closer, propping it up against the leather. It only took a mere second for her to read where it was from. Her eyes started to waver and her bottom lip quivered. Her memory had failed her and she had honestly forgotten this was coming. She ripped away at the beige parcel wrap, like a small toddler would on Christmas Day. As the floor slowly piled with layers of wrapping paper, the artwork lay before her. It was beautiful, to be honest it was almost as beautiful as the sentiment. The reminder, the unmistakable truth that it so simply symbolised. She stroked her hand tentatively over the plastic covering, she didn't want to damage it or mark it in any way, it was too special for that. With simple and undeniable realisation running through her she had to steady herself on the couch. Planting both hands on the yellow leather she swallowed hard; but her eyes never stopped admiring the sight before her. She was transfixed, truly and utterly taken over by the enormity of this moment, the mass and the weight that it carried was something she was unsure she could carry for a second longer. Leaping from her resting place she grabbed her car keys and ran to the driveway, taking all her thoughts and undeniable truths with her.
"Blake, oh my god, hi!" Robyn's arms were open wide as she greeted her sister with a welcoming grin, though you could see the confusion that was leering behind her eyes. Blake stood there, standing still. Arms to her sides and a look of utter disbelief wrapped through the lines of her face. Her sister's expression quickly duplicated hers as she pulled her sister into her apartment. "Is everything okay?" Her eyes searched Blake's face, she needed some sort of clarity.
"Yeah, I…" she faltered, how could words explain what she was feeling? "I…" her face trembled and her head shook. Robyn guided her to the nearest stool and rushed to the sink to pass a glass of water to her sister who seemed to be almost shaking. Blake gulped away the cool liquid and looked deep into her sister's eyes. "Oh god Blake, please, say something." Robyn feared for the worst and needed some definition, where the lines were nothing but foggy.
Blake inhaled deeply, knowing she needed to utter some words to relieve her sister from the fear she knew she was feeling. "It's not...it's, everybody's okay, I just...think I need something stronger than water." She laughed a little and shot a playful look at her sibling. The air that escaped Robyn's lips could have filled several party balloons. "God Blake don't scare me like that." She scolded her sister with a whack on the arm and proceeded to raid the gin cupboard. As her sister fumbled around for her favourite weapon of choice, Blake sat in lonely thought. She could hear his laugh in her ear, she could feel his soft curls pressed against her cheek and she could see that daring look in his eyes, that look that said love me one more time.
"Wow…" she was totally taken aback by the pinkish print in front of them "it's so beautiful."
"It sure is." He didn't know whether he was referring to the art or her. Wait, who was he kidding, she was art too. He raised the card reading 182 from his lap and wiggled it before the auctioneer. Her head turned to his, she observed him, warmth radiating from her eyes...and her heart. She couldn't find the words, but her expression said all she needed to say. His eyes were on hers again and his lips contorted into that grin of his that made her melt each time she saw it. "Penn…" was about all she could manage.
His smile was still there and his eyes scanned hers a little too lustfully. "Now you can have something sentimental too."
The peach gin had been sitting in front of her for a little too long. She had neglected it for her thoughts. She could have sworn her sister had asked her name at least once but her memory was so distracting, he was so distracting. He always had been. "Blake!" The third intrusion was enough to wake her from her fond recollection. Her eyes met her sister's and latched on with everything they had, she needed such comfort in this moment. "I'm sorry." She drowned away several gulps worth of alcohol and plucked up the desperate courage to face the music. "Do you remember..what you thought when I told you Penn and I broke up?" Blake looked confident in her questioning but only someone who knew her well could see behind the facade and see she was secretly guilt stricken and fearful.
"What?" Robyn was so utterly confused, this was not what she had anticipated.
"Just, answer the question." Her tone was a little more stern than she would have liked "please."
Robyn lowered herself so her arms carried her weight, leaning firmly on the breakfast bar. She exhaled and contemplated her response, fearful of the repercussions it might have. "I...I was gutted, to be honest. I could see you two had something really special and you were so in love, you loved him so much Blake, everyone could see it. I thought you'd make it all the way but...then you found Ryan and you too are also incredibly happy, sweetie. I know marriage can be tough but, it's gonna be okay." She reached forward and traced her palm over her sister's hand.
Blake smiled at her sister, it was a half smile, a sad hopeless smile and for a second she looked so broken. "Sweetie." The compassion in Robyn's eyes was undeniable and true.
Blake's face quivered a little and her eyes blinked rapidly. "I know. I know, marriage can be tough, but it's been so easy with Ryan, everything has been...a dream. It's everything I wanted and...I've never looked back." The passion and strength that shone through Blake's mannerisms was so vivid. "I never...thought I would, you know? Breaking up with Penn was...hard, I mean it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through and there were times I didn't think I would ever cope without him. But I got through it and I'm here and up until three months ago…" Blake paused, this needed more alcohol. "I didn't need him. I didn't look back, not for one second but...I guess what I'm trying to say is somehow...now I know…" Blake's words fell to a brief standstill. "I made a mistake." Her eyes lifted from the granite table top and shot to meet her sister's unsettled expression. Robyn looked puzzled to say the least and Blake honestly wasn't sure how she would react.
"Okay…" was all Robyn could make out. "Okay...um...where has this come from? I mean I know you saw him last month sometime? But...this, this doesn't come from one meeting, Blake." Robyn shook her head. She had seen how happy those two were and there were times she had wished her sister would have chosen to go back to him, but she never did and somewhere along the way Robyn accepted that and grew to love Ryan in ways she wasn't sure she ever could.
"I know. So what I haven't told you is this...we ran into each other at a concert, back in January. We talked after it was over, had a few drinks, it was great. It was but...I was okay, after, it was weird and I could have let it take over me but I didn't. He didn't. The months went by and that's where you come in...that day with James, I couldn't believe he was there again in front of me. I mean honestly, Robyn, how do you explain that?" She didn't give her sister a chance to answer. "Then...last week, we both attended a charity auction in the East Village. We sat next to each other, we laughed, we joked, we…" the gin was calling and she took another much required gulp. "...flirted." Robyn could see how ashamed Blake was in the tilt of her head and the lilt of her voice. "Then we decided to take a walk, Penn got kind of...angry, I wanted to talk about what was...you know, happening between us and he was very much in denial of the whole thing. Then…" her eyes glossed over and she wiped a stray tear threatening to fall from the corner of her eye. "We stood there, in the street, hugging, for what felt like forever and I think for every second that went by with him holding me, I slowly combusted. And I am now the remains of that person I once was...he" she paused "totally consumed me." The sigh that broke through Blake's lips was enough to make the gin wobble in its glass.
Silence ensued, but after twenty seconds or so, Blake was the one to break it. "I have to call him."
"Blake.." Robyn reasoned "look, there's no need to overreact okay? You've seen him a few times recently and maybe it's brought up some old feelings but there's no need to be brash! You're married for starters!"
"I know...I know that...but, I can't change how I feel? And, to be honest I've been feeling this way since the concert...okay it was a more mild version of how I am feeling now and the other night may have just been a catalyst for it all but that doesn't change the fact that I….know in my heart...I have to see him. At least to then really and truly understand what I am feeling, you know?" There was no reasoning with her, Blake's mind was made up and at this point it would be like bargaining with a bank to convince her to change her mind. Robyn looked at her sister, her eyes were glazed over in concentration and she feared there was no turning back the clock, but, she would try and save her sister's marriage and for that matter, her family, one more time. "Honey, look. I need you to listen to me" Robyn's glare was intense and it quickly bored a hole into her brain. "You chose Ryan. You have three beautiful kids. You have a family. You are happy. Penn chose his wife. He is about to have a family of his own. He is...most likely happy too. You didn't choose each other, Blake. You have to accept that. Besides, think about what it would do to your kids."
"Why are you saying this?" Blake's eyes were brimming with tears once again and suddenly she felt a little hatred for her sister brewing in her heart.
"Because, Blake...I don't want you making a huge mistake. He was the love of your life, I know that. Everybody knew that. But...you just gotta let this slide. Don't make a mistake that could ruin your life forever." Robyn was certain she had done the trick. That her words, her profoundly deep rooted words of wisdom would remind her sister of the life she had now and not to chase a life she had left behind long ago. Blake sat and scrutinised the words she had just heard that were etched into her brain. She tried to believe them, she tried not to fight them, but it was a battle she was pleased to lose. "No, you're wrong. The mistake would be not following my heart. And that's what I'm going to do and, I appreciate your thoughts, sis I really do but, this is something I know I have to do." Blake hadn't even finished her sentence before she was drawing her phone from her pocket. Her thumbs tapped away like her life depended on it. For a second she hesitated, she doubted her actions, but only for a second.
'Hi...I need to see you.' She pressed send.
"Hey, uh, hey man. It's me. Look I, I know we haven't talked in a while but...I've got some..personal stuff going on and I wondered if we could talk about it. Gimme a call. Maybe we can go for a beer? Uh...tonight if you're free?" The level of urgency was embarrassing. "Anyway, call me. Bye." He drew the phone from his ear and held it in front of his eyes as he ended his voicemail. A notification beeped onto his screen and for a second his heart stopped. The world stood still. He felt his hand shake and a small smear of sweat form on his forehead. "I need to see you" Fuck. This was what they called dangerous territory and he was in deep.