Hey guys, it's me again - I hope you're all doing okay and keeping safe. I'd love it if always you could let me know what you think of this one. x

Chapter 10.

Several weeks had passed and what was merely confusion was now quite simply, acceptance. Acceptance that what they had shared over the last few months had been fleeting, a fleeting sense of escapism met with minute nostalgia. But it was nostalgia all the same and she still felt it, it was deep rooted in her veins now and dissolving it she feared was impossible. She stared at the painting in front of her, the pinky coral hues made her feel at ease. It was calming, it stilled the unsteady and ragged waters of an ocean of discomfort and distress that still lay resting in her heart. She sighed slowly as her eyes searched the picture desperately. Blake had told Ryan she had bought it at that charity auction because she felt they needed something to fill the empty wall in their hallway. It couldn't be further from the truth. She loved it but it certainly wasn't purchased out of a desire to improve their interiors. It was a purchase carrying great sentimental value and she hated that it did. Ryan even complimented her on it from time to time as he walked by it in passing; always sending a tremor of guilt through her chest.

Another month had ticked by and it was now a warm and sunny June. Blake had not long come back home after a long run and had herself draped over the couch with the warm breeze and gentle sunlight brushing over her frame. Contentment was a feeling she was getting rapidly used to after months of unease, guilt and quite frankly, slight temptation which had now almost completely surpassed. Denying her next move had anything to do with temptation, she reached behind her for the phone laying on the corner table. She pulled it into her line of sight and tapped away a brief yet playful message to someone she had decided to label 'an old friend'. Someone she couldn't see and that was okay but... still wanted to keep in contact with from time to time. Was that so bad? 'Hey...I just wanted to say I hope you're good and I hope Domino's pregnancy is going well. You'll have to tell me when season 3 of YOU is coming out!' Her fingers stilled in paralysis and her head froze in concentration as her next few words assembled in her mind...too far? She shrugged away her conciencence and continued her sentence. 'Proud of you. Bx'

He had read her message three days ago and had not yet, for whatever reason, allocated the time to respond, until now. He was sat, leisurely on the bar stool in his kitchen. His left foot hooked over his right and his left hand was orchestrating his spoon to rummage around his cereal bowl. All his focus however was on his right hand. The hand that held his phone. He really wasn't sure of the purpose of her message. Was it a means of keeping the communication lines open between them? Was she trying to lure him back? Was it more or less than his brain could comprehend? He bathed in her words, three particular words to be precise. 'Proud of you'. What was she trying to achieve? He had been mulling over his response for the last ten minutes or so, far too much thought going into what could only be described as a potential avenue for calamity. But as if by magic his thumb was struck into action and his words read as follows. 'Hey. Domino is good. We both are. Things are great. YOU will be next year sometime...and thanks Blake. Kind of you to say.' His message was so dull, mundane, so lacking in emotion or humour. Maybe that was required, he pondered. No, he shook his head. Why couldn't they be friends that were comical with each other? He erased his dulcet tones, loosened up, re-wrote his text and pressed send. His eyes lifted quickly from the phone and he clenched his jaw as nerves struck through him.

It was a couple of weeks later and Blake and Penn had exchanged multiple, humourous yet dignified texts; with little to no flirty banter involved. Penn was in the living room with a very pregnant Dominio. As he sat in his most favourite chair, he skimmed through the words of a script he had been sent. Domino was rushing to get ready as she was already ten minutes late to a lunch date with a friend. She yanked her jacket off the back of the couch and slung it over her shoulders, in the process throwing her elbows to the side animatedly and causing a huge crashing noise to erupt throughout the house. Penn's eyes ripped away from the script as he looked across to her to decipher what had caused the noise. He stared for a little too long at all the broken fragments on the floor before asking after his wife's wellbeing. "Oh..oh my god. Dom, are you okay? That scared the shit out of me!" He hustled over to her clutching her arm with his hand to steady her while trying to prevent his wandering eyes from flickering to the floor once again. "I'm fine." Her words cut a little deeper than she may have meant them to but she hadn't missed his clear concern for the broken object on the floor.

"Hey! Why are you saying it like that?" He chuckled a little, not yet aware she had read the troubled look on his face. Knowing full well the creases in his eyebrows were not only there because he was worried about her.

She huffed in response, her body trying to tell her mind to drop this, to not push further. "It's nothing."

"Well clearly it is." He wasn't angry but intrusive, inquisitive, he really didn't understand why she was so obviously angered by the situation.

"Because I can see in your fucking face you're more concerned about that damn clock than you are about me!" She was shouting now and he could hear the irritation running through her lips.

His somewhat comical expression had vanished in an instant and it had been quickly replaced with a look of panic. He was lost for words, unsure what he could possibly utter to calm the tense environment.

He swallowed. "Domino...of course I'm more worried about you than I am about an object, come on." His sympathetic grin was back and he rubbed the pads of his fingers over the bare skin of her arm. She shrugged her arm away dramatically as she paced away from his apologetic stare. "Come on? You don't think I remember where you got that from? You got it the night you spent with Blake! The night you were so tactfully coy about, Penn! 'Hey, how was your night?' she mocked "'Oh yeah it was fine.' 'Did you talk to Blake?' 'A little' You don't think I couldn't see it on your face you were lying to me?" She paused taking a moment to breathe "but I let it go because I figured you were once very important to each other and I trust you with my whole heart so I wasn't worried." His eyes were on hers and they were begging for mercy, begging her to stop because she was saying things he just wasn't ready to hear. "But then that clock turned up and you told me you got it that night and I knew...I knew it meant something to you, I could hear it in your voice…." Her lip quivered and she reached her free hand to it to steady it. "Does she mean something to you?"

"Domino…" he was quick to respond both in words and actions as he took a step closer to her trembling body. Could he find the words to convince his wife she was the one he wanted for the rest of his life. He knew he could...but could he convince himself the same thing? "Of course she does, I'm not gonna lie to you and say she doesn't, just like I'm sure all your exes mean something to you too. It's just...how it is!"

"It's just how it is…" she trailed off as her stinging eyes fell to the floorboards. "Then tell me this, have you spoken to her since that night?" How had she found the courage to meet his intense stare, how had she found the courage to talk to him about this? God, her courage blew him away. He tilted his head ever so slightly as a pathetic attempt to reason with her, but he knew it was no use. An answer was required and he knew an honest one was the only option.

"Yes." His voice broke in that moment and he hastily attempted at forgiveness as he asked her to stay. His request was denied and he was left alone.

That month had somehow flown by, it was now a hot and sweaty July and what was then a heated argument was now left as a tangible stench of denial and resentment. It had been their baby's due date several days ago and the lingering pregnancy was leaving a strain on their relationship. They hadn't cuddled as much, their kisses were far from long lasting and it seemed their warm words were attached with almost a hint of sarcasm. They were sat in the living room, next to each other physically but emotionally they were miles away. "So what was Blake to you?" Domino's stare was hard and her piercing eyes cut through to Penn's soul.

"What?" It wasn't that he didn't understand the question, he was merely taken aback by it seemingly coming from nowhere.

"You know what I'm asking." Domino's tone was cutting and it let a wave of unease float between them.

"Domino...I…" He really didn't want to get into this, she was clutching onto the night of that auction like a hungry mouse clutching its last crumb of cheese. He glanced over at her, his deep brown eyes begging for understanding and forgiveness. Her cold glare was stubborn and he knew once again a response was demanded. He inhaled a deep breath as he allowed his mind to prepare a reply. "She was...my whole life, I mean I loved her...back then. Years and years ago. But that doesn't mean I don't love you, because I do and I married you remember?" A sarcastic mermer fell from her pursed lips.

"Yeah because you weren't ready to get married when you were with her."

"No, you're right I wasn't but...look." He grabbed her hands and gripped them tightly in his grasp. "...I love you. I love you." The first was more like a statement and the second a reassurance. "Now….I loved her, then. Surely you can understand that?" He wasn't mad or angry simply imploring for her acceptance and love which right now felt so unrequited.

"I can...but Penn, I can't shake the fact you were gutted when I broke that clock, I could read it in your eyes." She looked to their hands in her lap, anywhere but meeting his adorning eyes.

For the first time in a long time he was struck by silence, words failed to encompass his mind and his thoughts were clouded with memories of that night.

He watched her drift towards him, in that alluring, sexy way she always did. Her eyes moved gently across the room, meeting anything but his own somewhat unchasteful stare. His lips pursed as he took in her figure; her lips, her legs, her breasts. Soon she reached his drunken gaze as she sat herself beside him once more. "Hi" his voice was tempting and deep and she could feel her organs burn with hunger.

"Hi" her reply was soft and sensual as she locked her eyes with his, both their lips erupting into provocative smiles.

"That's what I thought." The sound of his wife woke him from his deep and dark distraction. She got up to leave and he yanked at her arm pulling her straight back to the couch.

"Look. She's my ex, okay? I hate to say this to you right now but she's always going to mean something to me. She will always be someone I was in love with. I can't change that."

"And up until a few months ago, I was fine with that. I really was but...now...I think she's more than that" she paused, contemplating her next words "and...I think she meant more to you than you realise." She was stung by her own words as her jaw clenched and her eyes blinked away the threatening tears. He opened his mouth to bargain and reason with her but somehow no words came out.

"Look, Penn….I'm gonna go spend the rest of the day with my sister. If anything happens, I will call you but I want you to think about this." She was now almost a metre away from him and she was clambering around the living room to collect her belongings.

"Dominio, I don't need to think about this."

"Yes, you do." She turned from the door to face him, his broken smile and his watery eyes. "I'll see you."